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Rant

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

I just needed a place to vent & get this out since I don't feel like I can do it at home. My MIL came to visit for Christmas last Friday. I agreed to pick her up from the airport that afternoon since DH had to work. Originally the plan was for her to stay with us until yesterday, I would take her to my BIL's house & then they would host her and get her back to the airport today. DH took Monday off, so it was going to be fine. BUt things change.

 

My MIL ended up getting the flu with possible respiratory infection. This all started on Monday evening. DH spent half the day working from home, which left me entertaining both DS & my MIL. She went downhill on Christmas day and ended up in the ER with a 102.5 temp. So... they decided that she would stay with us instead of heading to BILs house. Great. Also, DH went to work yesterday as planned even though he'd worked from home on both of his days off. Last night they decided to reschedule her flight until Sunday, and that she would stay with us for the duration. DH decided against taking any additional time off to accomodate this change, and has worked late the last few nights to boot. So yesterday I ended up having to run around town fill prescriptions for MIL, loading up on sick person supplies (as well as preventative stuff for us), keeping her company, and dealing with a 2.5 y.o. who's been confined to the house for over a week. Today my BIL came down to visit for a few hours, but again I was kinda confined to the house because he has some medical issues that make it uncomfortable to drive (the trip down & back was more than enough). So then he invites my MIL to his place (about an hour drive) tomorrow to see his artwork and have coffee, and guess who gets to take her -- ME!! I thought maybe I'd drop her off early for the day, but no... he just wants to visit for a few hours, which means that DS & I will go and hang out again. Then I'll be entertaining for the rest of the day. DH came home late tonight and basically bailed on me and MIL at 9. 

 

I really do like my MIL and normally don't have any issues with her, but I am done!! This is not what I signed up for this week and I just want my life back. I don't feel like I have much support from either DH or my BIL. I'm just too freakin' nice, but what am I supposed to do?? It's a crappy situation with no good solution to it. On top of it my emotions are all out of whack and I'm trying to hold back the flood gates. I haven't slept week in a month, I don't know if I can be "on" as a host anymore, and I don't have anywhere that I can go that will give me some privacy. Ughh! I really just don't know if I"m going to be able to hold it together for much longer.

 

Anyway, I just needed to get it out because it's festering (obviously) inside me. Thanks for reading... sorry for the long rant.

post #2 of 7

Oh man, Mayday, that is an exhausting situation for sure. It seems like if you can allow yourself to release some of this to your husband, the one person to whom it seems appropriate, then you might end up feeling a great deal of relief. You are not wrong for feeling overwhelmed and I bet your DH doesn't fully realize what a burden this is for you since he's never been pregnant and can spend extra time away when he needs to for work. (And it is HIS mother. I think BIL is also responsible for her care, not you.) Taking care of a sick person is really hard, and not a job I would do while pregnant with a toddler so you are a superstar in my book. I am obviously just assuming here but it seems like a talk is in order. 

post #3 of 7

Please let hubby know how you feel. The stress of holding this inside isn't good for you or baby. 

 

What a long week, I'd be frustrated, too. 

 

I'd tell BIL that it would really help you if he could pick her up and then return her to your house. I don't think that is too much to ask.

post #4 of 7

Sending you a major hug. I am exhausted just thinking about it, and mad that you are in charge of taking care of a sick person. I agree that you need to talk to DH. You shouldn't have to take on the responsibility of his mother. If DH isn't going to do it, then BIL needs to. 
I completely understand why you are doing it--I hate my MIL but I am too nice to say no to her, even when she is completely overstepping boundaries. 

Will DH be home for the weekend? You need a serious break and shouldn't worry about entertaining anyone!

post #5 of 7
Thread Starter 

Thanks all. I needed that support. Yes, DH is home for the weekend & I fully intend to hand over total responsibility. I have a gift certificate for a massage that I think I'll see if I can use. I think I'm stuck for today and will make the best of the situation. I didn't sleep again last night, so I'm still exhausted and emotional. I do agree that DH & I need to talk about how future visits will be handled, because sick or not, I don't think I can handle this type of situation again. He's invited her out after the baby is born (as I have my parents), but we'll need to come to an big understanding on what that visit is going to look like. Thanks again for the support and advice!

post #6 of 7

Big Hug Maydaymom....geez and I thought I had it bad with my own mother and sister visiting for 10 days....I take it all back.

post #7 of 7
Thread Starter 

One final addition to my rant - DH has to work today for at least 4 hours. Ugh!! Just when I thought I had a weekend to myself. At least he's working from home. My MIL leaves tomorrow morning, so I'm almost to a place where I can have my life back. Meanwhile, I'm hanging out on my computer in the kitchen so my MIL doesn't feel like she's been totally abandoned while my DH works in the office.