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I'm just floored!

post #1 of 37
Thread Starter 

Here's something a "friend" posted on facebook:

 

 

I know personally two homeschooled adults, both scarred and or barely functional in society. Please think twice, your kids are not as fragile as you think, public school has many benefits, don't be afraid to let go.

 

I doubt that I'll post a comment, but I'm still coming up with snarky responses in my head.

post #2 of 37
Arghghgh. I don't even know where to start on that.
post #3 of 37

no way would I not reply! 

 

 "as a "friend" it's really sad you don't know all the FINE HSed ones I do.......I also know many educated in traditional/public school that surely could have benefited from HS (and at that point I would add examples) "

 

post and unfriend that so-called friend!! 

post #4 of 37

Lol, I personally know a couple of dozen public-schooled adults who are scarred and barely functional in society.

 

#flawedlogic

 

Miranda

post #5 of 37
Thread Starter 

Here's an intelligent response that was posted by someone else:

 

I homeschooled 3 of my 4 boys for their first 5, 3, and 2 years of school, respectively. I plan to begin kindergarten with #4 in the fall of 2013(I currently pre-k). They were amazing, well adjusted boys during that time. We didn't stay within the confines of our world, we lived. They knew and played sports with alot of the local kids so when they started public school they seamlessly moved right in. I understand what you're saying though-having been in the homeschool circle, I have seen & known some kids whose parents sheltered them in too many areas, not moving beyond the 4 walls of their home. As kids they are almost scared of their own shadows-I can't imagine what they will be like as adults. On the other hand I know quite a few absolutely fabulous homeschooled kids who I know will continue to be fabulous adults. I believe it has everything to do with how the parents handle homeschooling. And truth be told there are more than a handful of scarred and or barely functioning public schooled adults out there.

 

And the original friend's reponse:

Agreed, but I think all to often, homeschooling is based on fear. Not always, just trust your kids, thats all I'm saying. They are strong, your fears become theirs, be careful.

post #6 of 37

That's an interesting perception, that homeschooling is based in fear. Perhaps it is the result of the Christian right homeschooling "movement" working so hard to become the self-styled voice of homeschooling?

 

that certainly hasn't been my experience, but then again I live in left-libertarian-agnostic-hippie-ville where objections to homeschooling tend to be of the opposite sort, that homeschooled kids are trusted with too much responsibility and freedom.

 

Miranda

post #7 of 37
My family felt, and maybe still feels, that I made my decision out of fear. I have a hard time getting upset about such remarks nowadays, because my son's nearly grown, and I now see what he's going to be like as an adult.

It just occurred to me that the "friend" is the one making decisions based on fear -- a fear of what homeschooling would do to her/his child(ren).

Edited to say : By "it's hard for me to get upset by such remarks" I mean "I find I'm less likely to get upset by such remarks". When my son was younger, remarks like that would have set my blood boiling! It's just different for me, near the end of the journey. Maybe because it's too late to worry about it, anyway.
Edited by pek64 - 12/28/12 at 1:21pm
post #8 of 37
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pek64 View Post

My family felt, and maybe still feels, that I made my decision out of fear. I have a hard time getting upset about such remarks nowadays, because my son's nearly grown, and I now see what he's going to be like as an adult.
It just occurred to me that the "friend" is the one making decisions based on fear -- a fear of what homeschooling would do to her/his child(ren).

I think that you've hit the nail on the head, there.

IMO, this friend has made past decisions based on fear. 

post #9 of 37

Fear is a powerful thing. I believe that the teacher/parent helps the student/children work thou things. But we all respond to situations differenly. I feel if you want to homeschool do it...public school do it.

 

Leave me be.

post #10 of 37

And it's not as if parents sending their kids to S-chool are completely unmotivated by fear of what would happen if they homeschooled..... 

post #11 of 37

It's not a matter of my kids being fragile or not.  I'm sure they would be okay in public school - I'm sure they would survive, and possibly even thrive.  But I see so much of public school as a waste of time.  Why would I want to subject them to that?  Especially when they can learn so much more deeply outside of school?  Our schooling choices are really not about fear of public school, they are based on the richness of homeschooling.

 

Of course there are messed up homeschooled adults.  Maybe even more of them than messed up public schoolers.  Who knows?  But that doesn't imply that homeschoolers in general are motivated by fear of letting go.  That's just silly.  

post #12 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by edwardsmom View Post

Here's something a "friend" posted on facebook:

 

 

I know personally two homeschooled adults, both scarred and or barely functional in society. Please think twice, your kids are not as fragile as you think, public school has many benefits, don't be afraid to let go.

 

I doubt that I'll post a comment, but I'm still coming up with snarky responses in my head.

 

Because people often homeschool without putting a lot of thought into what is best for their children. ROTFLMAO.gif

I probably have spent more time thinking, planning, agonizing over homeschooling my child while a great many parents who send their children to school don't give that choice a second thought because everyone they know does it.

 

These type of warnings crack me up.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by moominmamma View Post

Lol, I personally know a couple of dozen public-schooled adults who are scarred and barely functional in society.

 

#flawedlogic

 

Miranda

 

Exactly. Plenty of people who attend public school go on to be scarred and barely functional members of society... in fact I would say all those people with these kind of issues that I know were never homeschooled. Why aren't schools blamed for their problems?

 

Let us pretend children in schools do not drop out, get medicated, commit crimes, abuse drugs or alcohol, be anti-social, have relationship issues, never suffer from depression or develop any problems. Or we could admit that people can develop severe issues no matter how they are educated. These are complex problems. Knowing two people with problems and blaming their issues on homeschooling is as flawed as blaming it on them wearing jeans instead of dresses. 

 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by edwardsmom View Post
And the original friend's reponse:

Agreed, but I think all to often, homeschooling is based on fear. Not always, just trust your kids, thats all I'm saying. They are strong, your fears become theirs, be careful.

 

Making decisions based solely on fear is not really a good idea either way. Sending your child to school or homeschool should both be thoughtful, researched decisions about what is best for your individual child. I do not know anyone who is homeschooling because they are afraid to send their child to school.

 

I don't believe my dd would thrive in a school environment. It isn't fear but knowing her strengths and weaknesses really well and taking them into account.

 

I'm glad we have more than one educational choice and I resent someone suggesting that school is the default best choice for every family without any facts backing them up. They haven't researched this at all- it is all their opinion and emotion. I think there are real issues with our schools these days that negatively impact our children and society that we can look at factually but I still don't go around telling everyone (friends or strangers) to pull their children from school or use caution.

post #13 of 37
Quote:

Making decisions based solely on fear is not really a good idea either way. Sending your child to school or homeschool should both be thoughtful, researched decisions about what is best for your individual child. I do not know anyone who is homeschooling because they are afraid to send their child to school.

 

 

 

I am ready to start with my second being HSed and I proudly do it out of FEAR! and have no problem telling others why-----fear that they will loose their already love of learning based on institutionalization of our local public school, fear that my child will face countless hours of busy work, fear that my child's will just be another number in an over crowed jail-like setting, etc..................and with the fears I still see more positives than negatives in the long run!

 

I have found most who make these statements really know no child that is homeschooled and those they do know, it's only in passing and they haven't a real clue what HSing is about it-these folks are best ignored and left in their own small-minded worlds. It really is priceless to see the face of someone who has such set views and have them meet and comment on your child and find out how wrong their preconceived notions really are. I just love the look and reply  "really BLANK is HSed?!" like they are some freaks of nature that live in holes and can't be social twins.gif

post #14 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by serenbat View Post

I am ready to start with my second being HSed and I proudly do it out of FEAR! and have no problem telling others why-----fear that they will loose their already love of learning based on institutionalization of our local public school, fear that my child will face countless hours of busy work, fear that my child's will just be another number in an over crowed jail-like setting, etc..................and with the fears I still see more positives than negatives in the long run!

 

You're certainly entitled to your perspective. But besides homeschooling my younger, I also have children who began attending school during their teen years, and their school experience has been nothing like you describe. The timing was right for my older kids. They are valued and cherished at their school; their individuality is prized; they are at least as passionate about learning as they were when they were younger. And their learning has been highly community- and real-life-oriented. 

 

Miranda

post #15 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by serenbat View Post

 

 

I am ready to start with my second being HSed and I proudly do it out of FEAR! and have no problem telling others why-----fear that they will loose their already love of learning based on institutionalization of our local public school, fear that my child will face countless hours of busy work, fear that my child's will just be another number in an over crowed jail-like setting, etc..................and with the fears I still see more positives than negatives in the long run!

 

I have found most who make these statements really know no child that is homeschooled and those they do know, it's only in passing and they haven't a real clue what HSing is about it-these folks are best ignored and left in their own small-minded worlds. It really is priceless to see the face of someone who has such set views and have them meet and comment on your child and find out how wrong their preconceived notions really are. I just love the look and reply  "really BLANK is HSed?!" like they are some freaks of nature that live in holes and can't be social twins.gif

 

See, I wouldn't call that fear motivated homeschooling at all. I would call that knowing what is best for your child and choosing the option you feel will be most positive for them.  You most likely have some first hand experience with a school. You probably don't tell everyone who puts their children in school that their children are in danger or will end up broken drudges just because they chose school instead of homeschooling. If a school could actually provide the learning environment you want for your dc you'd probably give it fair consideration.

 

I've been officially homeschooling my 12 year old dd since she reached school age. If there was a school nearby with one teacher for every 3 students, no testing, where she could work at her pace (fast or slow), and have a flexible schedule then I would have little issue sending my dd there. That isn't an option but homeschooling is and it is extremely positive. I would proudly tell anyone that we love it just as they might love their choices.

 

Closed-minded, rude people are best ignored. I don't bother discussing my decisions with those who are only interested in telling me I am wrong just because I made different choices. I don't ask their advice or opinion and don't care what they think.  I'm complying with the law of my state and my dd is learning and growing just fine.

post #16 of 37

Statements like the one in the original post still baffle me.  If they aren't that fragile then how did homeschooling ruin them?  Yes, we have probably all met that "weird homeschooling family"  but I met a lot of really weird, social misfits in PS too.  Why is it hard for people to acknowledge that it's not entirely the mode of education which shapes an individual?  It does greatly impact it but there are MANY contributing factors. 

 

I don't assume that HS is the right thing for every child/family/situation just as I do not assume that PS is wrong for every child/family/situation. I do know ALL the reasons each family has for their educational choices just as I do not discuss all of my own reasons. 

post #17 of 37

If kids are homeschooled and there are problems, for some reason people immediately blame homeschooling.  I have been irritated by the way people hyper-focus on my kids' social skills and bring up homeschooling every time there is a problem.  We were at a party the other day and my son came to me upset over some older boys.  He sat on my lap for about 30 min before working up the courage to go back and play with them.  Afterwards, a few people came up to me and talked to me about my son and wondered out loud if he would have been tougher if he had been attending school.  Ugh! I never know what to say.

post #18 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emaye View Post

Afterwards, a few people came up to me and talked to me about my son and wondered out loud if he would have been tougher if he had been attending school.  Ugh! I never know what to say.

 

Maybe he would be tougher.  So freaking what?  Is that something to be proud of, necessarily?  Let the kid be a kid, I'm sure when he's 17 he won't sit on your lap for half an hour, homeschooled or not.  ;)

 

(And if that post sounds annoyed, it is - but not at what you said, Emaye.  At the other peoples' reactions!)

post #19 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by CoBabyMaker View Post

If they aren't that fragile then how did homeschooling ruin them?

 

Ding ding ding!

post #20 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiqa View Post

 

Maybe he would be tougher.  So freaking what?  Is that something to be proud of, necessarily?  Let the kid be a kid, I'm sure when he's 17 he won't sit on your lap for half an hour, homeschooled or not.  ;)

 

yeahthat.gif  He is six for crying out loud!  

 

AND in the process of "toughening up" prematurely some kids get broken! 

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