8mo won't let dad hold him. What is going on?!?

[Natalya]

Since birth my 8 mo will not let his father hold him for more than 5 minutes. He will start to work himself up, crying, and if I don't come and take him he will do the no breathing cry... You know, the cry where they don't breathe for 30 seconds and then start screaming? I don't know what to do. I feel so burnt out, and I am lucky if I get a shower, or out of the house for an hour. When I am away ds will cry until he falls asleep. I hate doing this to him, but I know he is fine with his dad.

Does anyone else's kid do this? Any insights into why he is doing this? oh, also, he is happier with women that he doesn't even know than he is with his father. What is going on?!?

[phathui5]

My 6 month old will put up with dh, but he's definitely happier with me. I have found that ds would rather do something with him than just hold him.

What sorts of things does his dad do with him? Is he eating solids yet? Is he happy taking a bath? Can your dp wear him?

[sageowl]

8 months is prime time for separation anxiety, so that could be a big part of it.

And some kids just aren't into being held by anyone but mama...it sucks. 

[frioct3]

I've heard from a bunch of people that dad babywearing really helped.

[Natalya]

Its been happening for months now, so I'm not sure if it's separation anxiety, like as the normal phase. We've noticed it's not as bad when Dp takes him on walks outside, but even that is not full proof. He won't eat solids except if he (ds) puts it in his own mouth, so no, not really. Even diaper changes, which he loves with me seem to be torture with Dp.

So, this is normal, some babies are like this? Oi! Dp said the other day he is depressed about his and ds' relationship. He is super close with my second ds (his first). And obviously, it is really getting sucky for me.

[skycheattraffic]

Both my niece and my DD were that way until 12 or 15 ish months. It's a developmental phase many kids go through but some spend a lot more time in it than others. Particularly the ladies only angle was frustrating to DH when kiddo was happier with the aunt she rarely sees than him. Rest assured, he will grow out of it. It's hard in the meantime but this mama phase is not at all indicative of their relationship in the long term. My niece now highly prefers daddy for bedtime and my own DD will go to daddy for help with all but the most catastrophic booboos. Both girls (28 and 21 months respectively) are very close to their daddies and are very happy with grampa and uncles too. Tell DP he is doing an amazing job and that DS will make up for lost daddy time when he is ready. In the meantime see if an auntie or gramma could give daddy a little backup while you take a little time for yourself.

[lanamommyphd07]

Does dad wear aftershave or use a different shampoo or always wear a wool shirt, something that is sensory thing, etc? DD used to freak out in sweet grandpa's arms until we figured that one out.

[Natalya]

Sky, thank you so much. It's not exactly what I wanted to hear (some magic/miracle trick might have been nice) but it helps so much to know that this is normal. Lana, Dp does not use cologne, and it doesn't seem to coincide with a certain type of clothing he is wearing. I wish it was something as simple as that!

[MrsGregory]

You'd cry too if some big furry beast tried to cuddle you.

(My husband is bearded.)

My Little Miss just recently, within the last couple of months, has grown to like her Papa.  The first year?  Ha.  Forget it.  When she was very new she'd outright panic the second I handed her off and ran towards the shower.

We have pictures of me screaming myself purple with my own father. 

So I think it's normal.

Sorry!

[Natalya]

Originally Posted by MrsGregory 

You'd cry too if some big furry beast tried to cuddle you.

Lol!! My Dp is big and bearded too.