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Episiotomy won't heal, Please help me!

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

I had a wonderful OB/GYN who saw me throughout my pregnancy but when it came to deliver he was off and another dr from the practice delivered my son.  My delivery was perfect.  What wasn't perfect was my episiotomy.  It was not beyond a 3rd degree as my babies are always 6.2 pounds so my rectum was not torn.  One week after delivery I returned to delivering OB to have sutures removed.  It was the most painful experience and I kept telling her something is wrong but she assured me I looked great.  I never healed properly.  I went back to my OB/GYN and we started treating the site that was most painful.  He did some type of topical treatment that burned away old tissue to generate new tissue, did this painful procedure at least 3 times.  It helped some areas but had no significant result. 


I had my son 3 years ago, so in 3 years I have had surgical repair 3 times, used a variety of creams/estrogen/manual massage/injections/ and nothing will heal this site.  The estrogen creams make it even worse and I was told to keep trying it.  I have used olive oil and other natural remedies to help with intercourse.  I have also been told by a second opinion that it could possibly be mental.  I am a very sexual being and have never been inhibited with expressing myself sexually with my husband.  I enjoyed sex and was open to exploring with sex toys and positions, sorry if this is TMI but my point is I am not mentally suffering, I am in physical AGONY.  You can clearly see an unhealed open wound at the entrance of my vagina.  Even wearing a thong is impossible as the slightest touch is immensely painful. I do not feel pain internally only at the exterior site, point of entry.   Sex was not possible for at least 6 months after birth but then each time after a surgical repair it took another 3 months to just try intercourse.  The last surgery was by far the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life.  I cried for days after the surgery.  Then for weeks after surgery I returned to OB/GYN for sutures to be removed and then stubborn sutures that usually absorb wouldn't so they too would need to be removed.  This surgery was in September...it is now December 30th and I have incredible pain.  My husband and I started having intercourse again a couple weeks ago, we waited nearly 11 weeks post surgery and the pain of touch and entry is immense.  After intercourse my vagina is extremely irritated, tear is inflamed and I can hardly bear it.  I cannot let my husband touch me like before because the pain at the site is too tremendous.  Though I had the greatest faith in my OB I am at a point of complete devastation as I cannot go through any more surgery yet I am worse off today than I was 3 years ago.  I want my life back.  This pain interferes with much more in my life than just sex.  I am a teacher so my movements have to be mindful and sitting down is painful.  Taking my kids to the water park is a problem as I hurt when hitting the water from a slide.  Driving on trips is painful.  The pain isn't just during or after sex it is all the time but it worse after intercourse.  This is just crazy.  Please, please, please help me ladies.  I need to know if this is just me and is there hope to return to my old self enjoying sex and my body. 

post #2 of 6

That sounds awful, I think it might be time to see a specialist. There are GYNs that specialize in pelvic pain (I see one in MD if that's near you) who might help, or if it is really not healed you might try a wound center or somesuch? I don't actually know anything about those but I see/hear ads sometimes.

post #3 of 6

Totally agree- see a specialist, travel if you have too!  While waiting for more permanent fix there's also topical numbing meds you could try or pills that are meant to help with nerve-based pain (not narcotics, but stuff like Neurontin)

post #4 of 6

I have a friend who is a physical therapist and she specializes in pelvic pain. I know she has helped a lot of women with similar issues. I think you should give it a try

Best of luck

post #5 of 6

I second the advice to visit a physical therapist that specializes in women's health.  They are a great help!  They can be a bit hard to find though.  If you feel comfortable posting your location, people here on MDC may be able to help you locate one.

post #6 of 6

I'm so sorry for your pain, mommyia. 


I agree with everything that has been offered up so far: pain specialists, physical therapists, specialized OB-GYNs . . . 


My other idea is to take a meditation class targeted at help to relieve pain (John Kabatt Zinn has great books on this, available in most libraries) in tandem with the medical treatment you are seeking. Please know that by suggestion meditation I am by no means suggesting that this pain is in your head. I believe you! 


I know there are skilled surgeons out there who specialize in vaginal reconstruction. Perhaps that is another route to take?


Good luck. And hugs. 

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