Queer Conceptions: January 2013 - Page 19

[lizbian]

chortles probably not a bad idea and you can make sure you have all your ducks in a row come April.

scorp it's good you're so positive, esp after all you've been through - keep up the good work! my knees are paying for yesterday, one swollen up massively. Whoops! Got in a bit of trouble from DW as hadn't told her until after because I knew what she was going to say. Hee hee.

fmorris ahhh sounds good. We don't have anything like that where I live so it's sperm bank or nothing!  Also the medical clinic over here won't do IUI or IVF so have to do at home or leave the island which kind of suck. Oh well the price you pay for living on a small island I guess.

[KWPX2]

DARCY - This is my first insem go-round. The trigger came along only because we decided to get an initial check up by the RE. We decided to stick with the RE and have more intervention as I found out I had PCOS and hypothyroidism, both needing treatment. So, I took letrozole CD 3-7 to grow nice big eggs (my AMH was very normal which is a little odd for someone 42 years old).  On day 11 I had an Ultrasound and found 3 nice ripe follies. She had me trigger the following morning and we did IUI 39 hours after that. I can't say that I had any real symptoms or side effects of the HCG. Perhaps a twinge of nausea so mild I could attribute it to having not eaten in a while. I too experienced a lot of EWCM and just plain ol' watery CM the two days after IUI. According to the RE I might not experience any as the letrozole inhibits estrogen. As far as testing, she recommended we test in 14 days. I have heard that the trigger takes 10-14 days to clear my body and testing before that would be inaccurate. I have been pleased with the letrozole/trigger combination. It certainly took a lot of the charting and estimation out of the picture for us. As a couple I think we would have been entirely stressed and nervous if we spent so much money on the swimmers and all then had difficulty getting timing right due to hormonal factors and what not. 

[mrsandmrs]

kwpx - i think the trigger shot is invaluable for timing inseminations with frozen sperm if you have hormone issues like you are describing. i hope this is it for you! i used a trigger shot for five cycles. you can test it out of your system if you have cheap HPTs to burn. a lot of people start at like 5 or 6 dpo and test FMU every day until they get negative tests. i found that it always left my system by 10dpo or earlier, but your mileage may vary. also, i never had symptoms immediately after the trigger shot, but within 5 or 6 days i would have full-blown early pregnancy symptoms (sense of smell, mood swings, giant boobs, nausea, exhaustion, food aversions, everything!) that lasted the rest of the tww -- very frustrating and confusing when you are trying to actually spot early pregnancy symptoms. it is kind of useful, though, because i wrote everything off to the trigger shot. so when i actually got a BFP, i was totally surprised. good luck! 

[fmorris28]

Lizbian, Have you searched into anything like that? If i recall correctly, in mye extensive search for swimmers I came across a site that does have known donors like here in the states. The one site I found similiar was https://sites.google.com/site/freespermdonornow/uk-sperm-donors . This one is also similiar but I believe to access the site theres a membership involved: http://www.sperm-donors-worldwide.com/ . Its a lot of reading though lol You never know what you'll find!

[lizbian]

fmorris  ta for the link  Often when people say the whole of the UK they don't mean Guernsey but some of them may. We're happy with the bank & all the security it provides for a donor -- it's fun just looking through all the profiles though to see what they all say. It was interesting a couple of my friends discounted our potential donors because they didn't like their handwriting. That is getting very specific!

kwpx2 I sooo hope it's good news - I also have PCOS and am currently waiting to see what they'll give me to help, great you got a trigger shot to help matters!

[Sphinxy]

lizbian - I am with you. I would never want to use my any of my BILs' sperm, but I suppose that's a personal preference. I know of a few couples who have done that and they are really happy with it. Well, I guess one of the reasons it makes zero sense for me is that DW is adopted, so there's no biological connection anyway. It's never been an issue for her, the idea of not being biologically related to the kids, because she never really that growing up nor expected it for her future (she doesn't want to carry). 

scorpio - What a fantastic way to start off your weekend! Your plan and goals sound great - good luck! I too have been thinking about when to test. The second of those two short business trips that I have coming up is going to overlap with 13 & 14DPO, and I don't want to test without DW. Plus, I really hate early BFNs, and my luteal phase can range from 13-15 days. So, unless I have some strong signs of possible pregnancy before I leave for my trip, I think I am going to wait until 15DPO when I am back home. Also, there are no tests in the house now, which helps!

chortles - Sounds like a sensible plan, and April is not very far away!

fmorris - How exciting! Would the KDR mean you would get overnight shipments of fresh sperm, or would you still be purchasing frozen vials? Good luck with that. Sounds like you are on a really good path now with your donor selection and your temping. 

soto - Hope you are doing well out there. Are you trying again next cycle?

Afm, This morning FF confirmed that my O date was Thursday, the day of our second insem and the day I was thinking had been my O date. So regardless of what happens I'm feeling so much more confident than previous cycles in my ability to read my body's signs and identify O. I'm 3DPO and enjoying a relaxing weekend with DW. A couple short business trips and some good distractions are coming up for my TWW which should definitely help me pass the time. 

Would love to hear an update from Lindsey and merstone, hope you both are doing well!

[Twomommyfamily]

Sphinxy: I also had a (straight) friend with two kids who thought it would be "cute" if DP and I both got pregnant t the same time. Though she knew how tiring and overwhelming pregnancy is, she still didn't think it it would be completely crazy. Such a silly. Have your emotions subsided post insem? Feeling better?

Darcy, sphinxy, KWPX, who else am I missing in the tww? Baby dust all around ladies!! You all had amazing timing and its going to be awesome to see so many bfps!

Afm, ultrasound yesterday showed one 19mm follie and lining at 8.4. RE says we trigger at 20 and 9 but to still do an opk today. If I get a positive then we insem on Monday. Otherwise another ultrasound Monday, trigger Monday night, insem Wednesday. I have consistently ovulated on day 16 for the last 10 months and Wednesday is day 16 so that's perfect. Wish I could join you all in the tww sooner though!

[granite]

Holy moly, I go offline for a few days, and look how busy y'all are! So great!

Twomommyfamily, you're so close! How exciting! Love the pic of the new pup... It looks like your other dog is adapting well, how did you manage that? We added a kitten to the family back in December, and the older cat still hates her... Though cats can be much weirder than dogs, of course.

Good luck to you during this TWW, Sphinxy, Darcy and scorpioma! The timing sounds fantastic for all of you.

I'm so sorry that AF arrived, sotohana... Hugs to you. Will your DP be trying next? Do you have an idea of when that would be?

KWPX2 and Lizbian, I'm also planning on asking my RE about using a trigger shot this next cycle, to get around the issues caused by my PCOS. It just seems smart to increase the odds, you know? Thanks for chiming in with your support on this, mrsandmrs!

chortles, I'm glad that you're feeling positive about extending your TTC timeline. It really can be worth it in the end... Or at least that's what I keep telling myself, as I've had similar delays and long waits!

fmorris, I don't know anyone either here or IRL who've used the KDR but it comes up all the time so there must be lots of folks who have! Do you know the blog http://www.mondayswithmac.com/? They used coparent match, which I think is similar. Exciting times, this KD shopping!

LindseyW, thanks for sharing the idea for the knitted baby cocoon: What an adorable photo. I've now added a couple patterns to my knitting queue.

AFM: Hanging out in the luteal phase, not much to report. Oh, except that one of my exes had a second baby and learning about it filled me with very ookie jealous feelings that I am totally ashamed of. Blech.

Also! Apparently I've become to the TTC guru for a network of friends and acquaintances, all of whom are straight women ranging in age from 28 to 39 years old. ZOMG THE THINGS THESE PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW. It slays me, non-stop. So thank you, dear forum companions, for not being afraid of TMI and for sharing the tiniest details of your TTC adventures and all the articles you come across and your FF charts and your vast wealth of knowledge and experience!!! You have helped others far beyond the confines of this message board.

And for now, I knit. If any of you are on Ravelry, send me a message with your username and I'll friend you.

[escher]

Hi Everyone,

Sphinxy: I'm sorry that you had such a hard day on Friday. I'm glad that now you're having a relaxing weekend.

Scorpioma: It looks like your timing was excellent! I'm glad that so far the TWW is feeling peaceful.

Sotohana: I'm so sorry. What a disappointment.

Darcy and Chortles: I like the Brill book in many ways, and I appreciate that it is the only decent book (that I've found) on the logistics of getting pregnant with donor sperm. I think that Brill has lots of ideas about what might improve your fertility, and I'm sure that each of her ideas has helped someone, but I'm not convinced that she has more than accecdotal evidence that her ideas work. When we started TTC our son, I read a lot of her advice as saying that if I just did all the right things (ate right, took the right supplements, did the right alternative treatments, thought the right thoughts, etc.) then I would get pregnant quickly and easily. I think it made me feel more like it was a personal failure when I didn't quickly get and stay pregnant. I guess now I believe more that while there are certainly things that you can do to improve your fertility, you probably don't have to do all or even most of the things she suggests in order to get pregnant, and that if you don't get pregnant right away it doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong. Anyway, that's probably more than you wanted to hear. I'm not trying to be overly critical of Brill, and I'm glad that she wrote her book!

Fmorris: It's exciting that you might have a possible KD!

Twomommyfamily: Your insem is so soon now! Hooray!

Granite: Blah on exes having babies. I hated hearing about people having babies when I was TTC the first time. What are you knitting right now?

Hi to everyone else!

We've started opks, but so far they are negative. We expect to insem at some point this week!

[Twomommyfamily]

Scorpioma, Forgot you in my last post! You also had amazing timing, like perfect spot-on! Also it sounds like you have a great plan for staying fit, healthy, and sane this tww! You're already day 6, right? half way there!

Granite: My furbabies are getting use to each other! We just got back from a fun park day. They both played. Its a process of getting them to engage with each other though. 

[DarcySD]

esenbee2 - Thanks! FF still hasn't given me crosshairs so I am not sure what is going on. Would you manually override their settings if the doctor told you when you had ovulated?

sphinxy - I meant they washed the ICI vial so they could do the IUI with it. My bank sells different types of vials and ICI is a lot cheaper. 

fmorris28 - My dream is a known donor with fresh sperm. The first few times I have looked into it I struck out but will definitely keep exploring. Glad you are doing well with temping. It can be so hard for me at times!

lizbian - That must have felt so amazing! Congrats on your first game back. ETA - Just saw that your knee was swollen after the game. Ouch. Hope it's feeling better soon. 

scorpioma - Glad to hear I am not the only slow riser. I am so freaked out because last month my cycle was 27 days. If that's the case this month I will get my period at something like 7dpo. So scary!! Love your goals. I just started exercising more often and it feels so great. 

chortles - That makes a lot of sense with the changes. I too have made some big changes but have continued TTC. It's pretty stressful because I know it's not helping me get pregnant any faster. I just really don't have a choice so I have to try to be okay with that. 

KWPX2 - Thanks for all the trigger info. I have been chasing that damn trigger shot since October 2012. It has just never worked for us. My follies are always too small and I had to draw the line at 3 U/S per cycle because of the cost. They always have me come in on a specific date that is set on CD1 depending on when their clinic is open. I think for future cycles I will wait until I get EWCM (which is usually 3-4 days before +OPK) and then make the appointment. It was just so frustrating to go in on CD10, CD13, CD15 with no follie growth. I am so glad you had that great timing and the 3 great follies. That must be such an amazing feeling! 

Twomommy - Wow!! Great sized follicle and lining. You are getting so close. I hope the trigger works out for you to help with timing. Do you know how long after +OPK that you typically ovulate? That is something I am still trying to figure out. 

Granite - That must be really hard to see and it's completely normal to feel that way when TTC. My ex (male) just had a baby with his new DW and I felt odd when I found out. It's so cool that you knit. What would you recommend for a newbie? I tried crocheting last year and I was terrible at it. Is knitting any easier?  

escher - That makes complete sense. Thank you for explaining. I appreciate your honesty and do feel some pressure from that book to do things differently. Good luck this week on your upcoming insem!! 

AFM - Three major issues I have been thinking about... 

1. I have been stressing out a little because I planned on hiking this weekend and the mild hike that I planned yesterday turned out to be pretty strenuous. We also went out this morning and did a pretty long hike. I keep reading conflicting info on working out during the TWW. I don't usually exercise that long but I really need to so it's frustrating. What happens when someone works out really hard? Could the fertilized egg not implant because of it? I am so early in this TWW I don't fully understand how this could be a problem. 

2. My temps are going up but FF has not given me crosshairs. Earlier this month it was freezing in San Diego and we had to turn our heat on and had an extra blanket on my bed. Consequently my temps before O were pretty random and high - I think due to the heat. I am trying to figure out if I should manually override the O date so that it is consistent with what my doc said. 

3. My luteal phase - last month I had a really wacky cycle where I surged on day 15 (usually surge on day 19). I also had a 27 day cycle that month instead of my typical 32. Do you think that was due to the early O? Is my period already determined by the day that I O? I am scared because this month I surged on day 21 and if I still have that 27 day cycle that means I will get AF tomorrow. If I do have my normal 32 day cycle I will be due for AF on 1/27. I think I will test on 1/25 (only 9DPO) to at least give myself a chance before AF is due. 

I have an appointment with the RE on Tuesday. I want to explore the possibility of using clomid on future cycles. I also want more input about my short luteal phase, lowish progesterone, and low AMH. I will also be scheduling my HSG if we don't get pregnant this try and want to push for more monitoring on the day of the IUI to confirm timing. 

Edited by DarcySD - 1/20/13 at 4:38pm

[Sphinxy]

twomommy - So exciting, it will be insem day before you know it. Good luck. 

granite - That's so great that you can pass on what you've learned. I, too, get surprised by how much isn't common knowledge. Sometimes it makes me a little resentful too, because some of those people have kids but just didn't need to do so much research. But oh well, I would rather have knowledge than not. 

escher - Great comments on the Brill book. I love it as a resource for the mechanics of getting pregnant (or at least, trying to), but there are definitely things that I take with a grain of salt. I'm not following it as closely as it sounds like you may have your first time around, and I agree that a lot of it comes across as anecdotal. I try to look at it as one tool in the toolbox for our efforts. 

Darcy - A few thoughts for you:

1. My first two cycles trying I completely fell out of my exercise routine. I was afraid of ruining my chances to get pregnant. But what happened instead is that I lost a major outlet for my stress. I talked to some medical professionals, and all were in favor of exercise. I don't remember if you were on the board when I posted this last time, so forgive me if I'm being repetitve, but one of the doctors I spoke to said, "If you were a performer in Cirque du Soleil, you could still go out and do your act every night without endangering implantation." Now, once implantation occurs and the baby is feeding off your bloodstream, there are differing thoughts on how high you should let your heart rate get. But for where you are at in your TWW, I really think you are fine. 
2. If a doctor has confirmed for you when you ovulated, I would override FF and enter your O date. FF is a great tool, but it is not the be-all, end-all. 
3. Yes, I think your short cycle was due to your early O. The luteal phase tends to be pretty constant for most women - so a longer cycle typically means a later O, and vice versa. I would calculate your test date by counting the days of your normal luteal phase length off of your confirmed O date for this cycle. 
4. Good luck at your appointment!

[chortles]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has simultaneous fits of "I am so dying of the awesome I bring because I know lots about the conceiving info that I share with my straight friends!" versus "yeeGADS you bastages can get knocked up with a Coors light and a lucky stroke of timing" (and yes, I know that I'm being snarky and facetious. But I also know I'm preaching to the choir when I say that sperm costs $700, an IUI costs $300, and an u/s visit costs another $200!)

[Sphinxy]

Amen!

[DarcySD]

Sphinxy - Thank you so much for sharing your exercise info. I am so proud of myself for working out but don't want to do anything I shouldn't. What your doc said about the Cirque performers makes me feel a lot better. I just did the manual override on FF for O - feels good! Thanks for the info on O day vs luteal phase. Any idea on what makes someone O 4 days early? I have heard of it happening later due to stress but early not so much. 

Chortles - We have spent so much money these last few months. It's really hard not to get irritated!! My saving grace in the beginning was maxing out my FSA and using it for sperm. 

[sotohana]

Hey y'all. I'm feeling really low right now, so please forgive me for no personals. Just wanted to stop in to say thank you to everyone that was rooting for us. This has been super hard on me and I'm feeling like crap, but I do really appreciate all of the support from everyone on this board. As for next cycle, a lot is up in the air. We have an appointment with Oregon Reproductive Medicine tomorrow and I hope to get some clarification from that about what our next steps will be. I'll let y'all know how it goes for sure. 

[granite]

We're here for you, soto.

[scorpioma]

you got it, sotohana. 

the times when AF come for us so avidly ttc, nothing can describe that lowness.

hugs and love to you.

[Friederike]

Darcy - as Sphiny said, the varying length comes from the follicular phase whereas the luteal phase doesn't change normally. The follicular phase changes according to hormone status and the number of follicles that are growing. To grow more than one takes a bit longer and all sorts of things can disrupt the hormones that let them grow including stress.
Oh and about the exercise, I would also recommend not letting it stress you out, especially since it was hiking. That might give you sore muscles all over but it isn't a high intensity anaerobic training, so I don't see any reason why it could harm a pregnancy. I would make sure to drink enough and maybe bring a small snack for really long hikes. Dehydration is bad for CM. I run up to 3 hours while TTC and would continue running half-marathons several months into a pregnancy, provided I feel well enough.

Sotohana - big hug and good luck figuring things out for the next try.

[chortles]

Big hugs to you sotohana....

Darcy - I didn't realize fsa could be used to buy sperm. Really? I thought it was just IUI?