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Queer Conceptions: January 2013 - Page 22

post #421 of 585

KWPX2 - I had to be very adamant about keeping our daughter in the room with us (they pushed for the nursery so much!).  She was only out of our sight once for the first bath (which I was NOT happy with, but it was hospital policy and I did not press it).  Letting the baby go to the nursery around here (in Louisville, at least) means nothing but worry because they will not have any regard for the mother's wishes of no formula or pacifier, even though they have signs in the clear plastic bassinet that say "I am a breastfed baby." or "Do not give me a pacifier."

post #422 of 585

Darcy that is really crap but as you say, better late than never that they found out. My local GP misdiagnosed my PCOS which set me back a while but it's not as bad as your because I wasn't TTC at the same time. Def send a letter to let them know it's unacceptable.


Sphinxy your comments make me LOL! love 'em.


Escher good luck, FX hope it all goes well for you.


Friederike i'm so jealous you can still run. I used to be long distance (still hold a record from over 20 years ago for half marathon) but my knees don't let me anymore mecry.gif have to settle for swimming & cycling which just isn't the same.


Sorry if I missed others, wasn't intentional and hope you all get good news soon.

post #423 of 585
Wow! So much has been happening here!

Darcy: I am ashamed for kaiser. That is a major oversight and unbelieveable. I've only seen and worked with my one RE at kaiser and she is incredible and thorough. When I did my day 3 testing and my HSG we made another appt to review the results no matter what, good or bad news. Have they considered retesting your AMH? I just got the results of my second AMH test and it was 1.4. Still low but not as low. The RE says this indicates that there was something wrong with the first test because AMH is stagnant. Did your RE say anything about injectables? Or just clomid? It's going to work out fine no matter what! Just that extra expense of the day 1-3 ultrasound. And the HSG isn't cheap but I'm so happy we did it. As for progesterone, I'm supposed to take it till 16 dpiui, do an hpt, if bfn then stop progesterone and wait will AF arrives. Did you come to a decision about next steps for sperm?

Darthuna: awesome and smart idea to pay off debt! The ttc business is not cheap! Then once pregnant the expenses keep rolling in. DP and I have this grand plan for maternity leave and we are aggressively saving to make that happen, just need to get pregnant wink1.gif

Fmorris: DP and I randomly drove past a branch of freedom fertility pharmacy when we were in MA for the holidays. I looked it up and they do have amazing prices. I wonder if I could order the next trigger from them? I paid $98, so I'd love to save $20 and get it delivered. Every little bit helps. I hope your bites go away! Weird! I hope it's not scabies, bed bugs, or mites. I had mites once in a previous apartment. They cleared up but it was annoying and itchy!

Soto: you have a good plan! See the RE isn't all fear mongering. For me it's been this positive experience where I feel like she truly wants to do everything possible to get me pregnant. As far as the predictability of my LH surge, it's nice, but with ultrasound monitoring and trigger all the opk and bbt stress is kind of on the back burner. But it didnt not stop me from grabbing an opk from the cabinet every time I pee'd the last 2 days.

Escher: how exciting!! Did they confirm DP's ovulation when they did that ultrasound? Seems like timing was great! Are you doing bbt? Has there been a temp rise?

San Diego: it's so good to see that you and DP are moving forward and have a plan. The HSG was fine once they got started. I had scar tissue on my cervix from a procedure many years ago and they had to get out some little tools to carve a path through the cervix for the catheter. That part sucked. But then yeah, it was like a pap with menstrual cramping from the iodine. Not a big deal but so amazing to see the uterine shape and the healthy tubes.

Sphinxy: nausea is a pretty incredible sign! I dont know how you usually react to eating Chocolates, but I'd assume usually not with days of nausea. I've got my fingers tightly crossed for you!!

Scorpioma: I'm sad you are feeling defeated! You had that very preggo feeling of rolling rocks in your uterus! Don't give up hope. Those insems were pretty perfectly timed.

Don't know who else I missed but baby dust all around!

Afu, we triggered last night at 7. DP was so brave to stick that crazy needle in my butt. She has a major needle phobia so this was a big deal. I had a pretty clear positive opk yesterday AM (not from fmu, kind of second morning urine) I emailed RE and she said even second morning urine is too early to do an opk and to not worry about the opk results. Yesterday afternoon I disregarded what she said tested again and got an almost positive. I'm trying to just give up timing control to the doctor. Tomorrow morning at 7 is the IUI. I wish I wasn't on my phone, I'd use a crazy looking smily to capture my nervous energy!
Edited by Twomommyfamily - 1/23/13 at 12:47pm
post #424 of 585

Just a quick update: BFN this morning, no AF, temps going down a bit. Suspecting that I'll get AF in the next few days. In the meantime, I've made an appointment with my doctor for tomorrow to check on things. (edited to add -  I'm now 15 dpo)


granite and darth - I live in Seattle and we've had the fog for days too! This morning I was so relieved to be able to see the Cascades out my window again - it had been so long since I'd seen them!


Sending good thoughts to everyone else - more later this week.

post #425 of 585

chortles-You are correct.  We are not allowed to give tax advice, but this is from my own personal experience and from what other folks said here when I joined in around tax time last year.  A good accountant can be great, especially if you live in California or another state that has DP's or marriage, etc.  The IRS has some law that affects people in states where same-sex marriage is recognized even though the Federal government does not recognize it.  My friends have had a crazy time doing their taxes the last few years.  Since we were married after Prop 8, we are not technically "married" in California, and we are not DP's, so we file as single.  It works for me because I can claim all the medical expenses for myself.  If the Supreme Court agrees that Prop 8 is unconstitutional, we will have to do our taxes differently next year.


fmorris-I hate to say it, but you might have bed bugs.  yikes2.gif  Their bites can look like mosquito bites and appear in clusters.  Some people don't notice the bites, but some people are allergic to them and get really itchy.  It has nothing to do with how clean you are, they just hitchike and make themselves at home.  I would check your mattress and box spring.  They like to hang out between the box spring and bed frame.  I really hope that is not what you have!

post #426 of 585

Thinking of you, Lea hug2.gif

post #427 of 585

Pokey! Your pregnancy is just trucking right along! I can't believe you are 18 weeks already. That is soo cool!

post #428 of 585

Granite, EEP! You know, I'm such a hypochondriac sometimes, but I'm sure this isn't right! I'll see what Mum thinks (shes an RN) nd hopefully its nothing, but if she's not sure..DOC here I come! Its the itching mostly that drives meeh crazy!


Friederike, Don't worry I am! And I think having a Mum as a nurse makes it worse because I think of ALL the posibilities it could be! Nd I have also seen horror stories about things like that happening. I hope its just something minor!


Sphinxy, Super yay for DP's "baby" (love it lol) steps. I really want her more involved nd it makes meeh happy we're getting there lol. I'm getting to have these little buggers looked at asap. I hate that you were feeling sick like that! Hopefully you get to feeling better and have a better TWW! Have a safe journey!


Scorp, We all get that feeling at one point or another, but it is a feeling and that too will pass. I hope the zen returns with gusto!


Escher, They're awful, I'm taking pics of them right now on mye phone nd sending to mye mum for her input lol! Gotta love the mum who's an RN! How exciting to be in the TWW. Hoping for the best!!


Twomommy, When I ran across there site I thought it was too good to be true, but sure enough I got mye RX transferred with no issue and when they got it they called meeh and asked if I needed it filled or I wanted to wait. Nice! You're so right, every wee bit helps. I'm sure you could get you're next trigger for them with ease! I'm hoping they go away too. Weird thing is DP isn't getting bitten AT ALL!! Nothing, not one bit! So I can't figure it out at bit. Sure hope I get to the bottom of it! OMG I'm absolutely envious and proud of you for doing that trigger! I'm not scared of needles or anything, but when I thought about that trigger...I got kinda nervous/anxious! I was gonna see if DP could do it for meeh lol! Good luck with the insem tomorrow!!!


Pokey, EEP!! I sure hope not! I would think DP would be bothered but she's not getting bitten one bit. I'm not sure if I'm becoming allergic to something, but I'm sure trying to figure it out :(


AFM, drinking cocoa nd enjoying a slow work evening.

post #429 of 585

granite - One of these days I am going to try knitting. I had a really hard time learning the stitches for crochet so maybe knitting will come easier for me. Thanks for the tips. Also, I don't think I can get any money back from them but I can try. I will be writing a letter. 


darthtunaqueen - Thanks for the support. It sounds like you have a good plan going to be debt free. If we aren't pregnant in a few more cycles we will definitely have to take a break until July when my FSA starts up again. I am kind of new around here and was wondering what the 3k is for? If we aren't pregnant by May we will probably try IVF if we can swing it financially.  


fmorris - Yeah I haven't had much luck with the KDR. I am looking for someone local which is making it even harder. That's cool that you got some inquiries but definitely scary too. How are your bites doing? DW had something similar a few years ago and I was so freaked out it was bed bugs. When she went to the doc he told her it was an allergic rxn to some shellfish she had eaten. Hope you are enjoying your cocoa! 


Friederike - Thanks for the progesterone info. I went back to the RE today to clarify and they said to stop taking it 14dpiui if I get a negative pregnancy test. It's going to be weird having a longer luteal phase and it actually pushes back my insems for Feb. Typically I would get my period this Friday or Saturday which would be CD1 and now I will be taking the progesterone until at least Weds. 


Sphinxy - Thanks so much for your input. DW is really adamant on the family limit and was really upset when we found out it went up to 25. Do you mind sharing which bank you use? Have a safe trip and I hope that you are feeling better soon. 


Scorpioma - I was definitely feeling that anxiety last night. DW and I had a long conversation about all of this and she is so stressed about finances and wasting these last few months. I hope tonight is better for you. 


escher - I get a positive in the morning and then a negative in the afternoon. The next morning I get a positive again. I think it's pretty normal because LH is released in pulses. Did she test again this morning before insem? Good luck to you in the TWW!


Twomommyfamily - When I go in in two weeks I will definitely ask to recheck the AMH. I am so so glad yours went up! That is great news. The RE did not mention injectables but the NP said they were pretty costly. If we don't get pregnant by May I will meet with her again to discuss. I did ask the RE about IVF and she said it would be 11,000 plus meds which totals 14k. If we decide to go that route we would have to save up a lot of money and probably wouldn't be able to do it until late in the year or early next year. Did your doc say anything about the price of injectables? As for sperm, I still don't know. DW feels very strong about having a WTBK donor and I will do more research on the info you gave me. It's so much cheaper (490 vial) at our local place where we wouldn't have to pay for shipping. Right now we are at about 980 incl shipping for each vial irked.gif.  I will definitely be thinking about you tomorrow morning!! Kudos to DP and her injection skills. When Meghan practiced on me I almost passed out because she kept hesitating. I am such a control freak and it was really hard to relinquish that control to her!! I hear you on trusting the RE and their process. I have never ever ever been good at that hence my emergency trip to Pasadena for another insem last month. Do you check your cervix? What cycle day is it for you? 


Lea - So sorry about BFN and temp drop. hug2.gifGood luck at your appt. tomorrow. 


AFM - Thanks for the support everyone. I will definitely be writing Kaiser a letter and will make sure to stay proactive in the meantime. Went to get progesterone test today, picked up progesterone suppositories from the pharmacy and chatted with nurse regarding the CoQ10 dosage (1200mg!) and timing for the suppositories. I am kind of annoyed that I wont be able to have normal temps, that my period will come a week late and that I will have to start next months insems late. I guess it's all worth it if this month did work! How does everyone else deal with temping and LP while taking progesterone? Do you even bother? Tomorrow will be 8dpo for me and I don't feel a darn thing...

post #430 of 585

Darcy, That KDR is overwhelming at times, I think now I'm realising why I hadn't logged in in a year lol. Don't see how people could just send meeh a message offering swimmersduh.gif...hellooo I HAVE criteria! Hard part is, you don't know how genuine some people's intentions are :( . The bites are pretty much the same right now; swollen, red, itchy, nd no fun at all. I'll have to pop into the PCP and see what's shaking before mye arm falls off! lol Could be mye allergies are worsening the older I get.....GREAT lol

post #431 of 585

Darcy, temps are looking good and high for you!!!  orngbiggrin.gif

post #432 of 585
fmorris - yes, it might be allergies especially if that's something you have a history of!

scorpioma - yes! I don't know what was going on this morning but I had a slight fever. I took my temp again a couple hours later and it went down to 98.5. Who knows!!
post #433 of 585
We are going to have a F2F meeting with our sperm bank within the month, and I plan to ask them how they manage / monitor their family limit. It seems nigh impossible to me, since reporting is all elective. So, if someone "disappears" and doesn't buy more sperm, they don't know if its because a) she got pregnant and didn't tell them, b) she switched banks, c) chose not to have children (or any host of other reasons). And until the bank hits their "25 family limit" (or whatever it is) they just keep selling the vials, right? There's also some "vial trading" that seems to happen on the BB of some of the sites (CCB), so who knows how that figures into it either.

I also don't understand the method. I looked up the math once - one man's specimen yields approximately 10-14 vials. For a bank to super-tightly control their family limit of (let's say 10) I guess the most "guaranteed X number of family" practice for a sperm bank would be to let only 10 vials go out, and then stop allowing any other vials (excepting for siblings) until they heard confirmed "yes pregnancy" or "no pregnancy" and then they could ungate one vial at a time. But that isn't feasible for the patients or the banks (and a good thing - it would be heartbreaking to make women report "no, not again" to the bank to allow release of another vial). But it does mean that that family tracking is probably clumsy and inaccurate, and that's just the reality of working with a sperm bank.

Am I just being Debbie downer here? Or is there a more thoughtful way the vials are controlled?
post #434 of 585
Darcy, the $3,000 is the deposit. They put it towards your fees, and we can roll it forward through children, and if by some miracle we get 2 positives after a first try, then they'll give us the remainder of the money back.

Lea, bummer about potential BFN. And about the weather, despite the fact that it rained (or rather, POURED) all day for me, it was still lovely to see more than 50ft in front of me. My friend and I (who was my TTC buddy, but then ended up adopting through a total fluke) went for a walk in the rain with the baby. smile.gif
post #435 of 585
Hi Everyone,

Twomommyfamily: How did the insem go today? I think it is really hard to trust a doctor's timing, but I try to do it too (and trusting our RE's ideas of timing, which seemed too late to me, did work to get our son). I don't really understand what the RE could see on my wife's ultrasound yesterday, but whatever she saw made her think that my wife had just recently ovulated. We do keep a bbt, but our son still wakes up a lot in the night so the temps don't seem very accurate. How was your temp this morning?

Lea: I'm sorry about the bfn. hug.gif

Fmorris: Yum, cocoa....

Darcy: I guess I had forgotten that LH might be released in pulses. That is good to know. My wife had been checking her LH just first thing in the morning (with the clearblue monitor) and in the evening (with an opk), but I'm thinking now that maybe next cycle she should also check mid-day, since that is when she got the positive opk this cycle. I did temp when I was taking progesterone, but I knew the temps didn't mean much. My RE let me get a beta test at 12dpo each cycle so that I could stop taking the progesterone sooner if I wasn't pregnant so it wouldn't lengthen my luteal phase so much. Good luck with that!

Chortles: I think the level of monitoring of family limits varies a lot from bank to bank. The bank we use imposes a strict 10 family limit and they do follow up with everyone who stops buying sperm from them to see what happened. They also initially stop sending out sperm to new recipients once they have reached a lower limit (6 or 8 families, I can't remember) so that they have time to make sure there aren't any other pregnancies out there. I know not all banks do that (my understanding is that most banks don't), but it is possible to use a bank that is conscientious about that if it is important to you.

Hi to everyone else!

We're 1dpo, which means that if we decide to test early and often like we did in the past we only have 9 days to go until we start testing! lol.gif
post #436 of 585

hi all


pokey - thanks for the tax info, we are holding onto all receipts in the hopes we can write some off... I am not familiar with how this will work, we're in CA as well...this will also be the first year DW & I can file together, we got legally married in NY in 2011 & domestic partnership in CA, 2012


scorp - good luck to you!


darcy - glad you have answers... and was your sperm cost orignally covered? I'm wondering... I am also not familar with CoQ10, will need to read about it.  My wife is currently taking folic acid, a prenantal vitamin, herbs/powders recommended by a nutritionist/acupuncturist & trying to eat more protein (fish/seafood)


granite - thanks, and yes once we become pregnant, we're excited for the baby to have a cousin close in age


lea - I think DW will also end up taking oral capsules, and at nighttime... thinking the best for you, it's not over until AF arrives


fmorris - my first and second acupuncture sessions were around 30-45 minutes


friederike - totally understand.. i am now mid thirties (yikes) and dw is late thirties.. we are very very very ready


sphinxy - good luck!


escher - good luck!


twomommy - thanks for the info on the HSG, i have heard similar that it's a like a pap w/ bad cramping... we were told to take a 800 mg motrin beforehand


afm - still waiting unti the day we can try again (late Feb we'll start) dw was feeling ok for a while and now she's back feeling depressed... this is so hard

post #437 of 585

Darcy, Well I do have a history, maybe an allergy test would shed some light on the situation.


Escher, It was sooo yum. It'd been a while since I had some nd it was perfect for the chilly night! Hope that TWW goes smooth nd ever so quick!


Sandiego, Thats not bad. I'm really interested. Looks like I'll be calling some local acupuncturists. Thanks for the info! This process is hard no doubt, but in the end its all worth it. I've been in that same situation nd know exactly how it is, and it does get better.hug2.gif


AFM, I've really had babies on the brain lately (more than usual lol) nd its so crazy because I can't recall wanting anything so badly in mye life. Boy, I sure hope this happens soon! I'm doing well temping, starting to interpret and understand mye chart nd mye cycles much better. Makes meeh proud.

post #438 of 585

fmorris, LOL! I too take great pride in my BBT charts! It makes me wish I had other IRL friends who were TTC this way, so that I could show it off to them and they'd actually know what a commitment it is to do it... But that's what I've got y'all for, right? I'm proud of you too!


Hugs to you and your DP, sandiego... Late February will be here soon hug2.gifI'm sorry it's so hard.


FX for you, escher!


darth, that $3k thing is nuts! My local clinic here in Vic just does it pay-as-you-go, and since we haven't been able to have an insem so far (*sigh...*), the only thing we've paid for is sperm storage ($200/year) and a lab handling fee for the sperm we had sent to them ($300). I wonder why your clinic asks for so much $$ up front? I'm glad my clinic doesn't, because it leaves us open to change our minds... Not that I think we would, but if someone suddenly offered me a newborn to adopt, or the perfect KD appeared, I can see us ditching the clinic!


I admire your thoughtful research into the family limits, chortles. To be honest, it isn't something that DP and I have considered an issue, but now that you're mentioning it... It's pretty intense!


Nice temps, Darcy and scorp! FX for you!


How was the visit to the doc, lea? It's not over til it's over!


And how was your IUI, twomommyfamily?

post #439 of 585

well, in merstone's case, AF did arrive and she was pregnant even so! It seems there is always a chance, huh? 

Wishing you a late BFP, Lea2012! 


chortles, I totally see your point here. My guess is that they have a legal standard (requiring them to say "25 family limit" but not imposing restrictions outside of what is actually reported), and while the bank has a legitimate interest in pleasing its clients/buyers, they also want to make money... They may have some sort of policy that assumes that when you sign the contract - which we all do when we buy sperm- we are agreeing to report ALL pregnancy outcomes- so they can have info on each specimen. At least when DP and I were using frozen sperm the contract said something like this, "Upon receiving the result/outcome, whether pregnancy, miscarriage or other, buyer will report said outcome within a reasonable time to the Bank."  Outside of this, they may not have any way, or any responsibility, to check what else is going on. So for them it might NOT be "elective reporting," but in reality, it is. It is worry-some, and makes some of us feel out of control, which is one reason I was uncomfortable with frozen sperm (even though of course this is many people's only option, and was mine for awhile too, and in many cases people's desired option even with these family limit/sibling donor registry/vial trading issues).


granite & fmorris: I am proud of my chart too!!! We should be!

post #440 of 585

San Diego: hug2.gif I'm so sorry. You and your DP are in my thoughts. Late February will be here soon and you will be able to try again. I'm sure that it will work, it seems like there is a good plan for the next cycle. Also for taxes, we have been RDP'd in CA since 2010. The last two years of taxes have been "interesting" with learning about community property. So federal taxes stay the same, no big deal, its with the state taxes that it gets messy. It helps a lot to have a good lgbtq tax accountant to facilitate the process, especially with medical expenses to deduct. I've had all kinds of deductions in the past but this will be my first year with medical expenses. 


Lea: I'm sorry about the BFN hug2.gif Please let us know how the MD appt went. 


Escher: yeah, timing. When DP and I first started this whole idea of getting pregnant we really thought we would try at home so our major obstacle would be timing. Then after several months of charting and no good changes in my luteal phase from any herbs or supplements that idea of trying at home faded away but still timing remained my number one concern. So trusting that the trigger was appropriately timed and then the IUI timing following that gave me so much anxiety. As it turns out, knowing when you typically surge and doing the opks doesn't mean a whole lot when they are doing the ultrasounds and trigger. I stopped temping in November when we decided to go this route with the RE (but I still have like 100 internet cheapy opks here tempting me). I'm going to have progesterone suppositories for the next two weeks which will hold off AF and I think can artificially raise temps anyways.  I'm glad to hear that what you had considered late timing ended up being perfect timing when you got your bfp. Both my trigger and IUI felt late to me, but then based on the ultrasound, they definitely were not. Thats good that your wife's ultrasound looked like a recent ovulation! Apparently that is exactly what they shoot for with the insems.


Darcy: My doc has not said a thing about the price of injectables. So far its been a surprise when I've gone into the pharmacy for the trigger and the progesterone. Hopefully it doesn't come down to injectables for either one of us. I do know that clomid is not expensive at Kaiser so thats good. $980 including shipping for each vial huh.gif Wow! Thats mucho. But I guess it would be close to the same for us if we paid for shipping. DP works pretty close to CA cryobank so she just picked it up after work one day. If you can use a conveniently located bank then its a really nice relief to not worry about shipping, but just make sure you actually like the bank and their family limits and theres a donor that fits your criteria. We really wanted to go with pac repro because they are lesbian owned but we couldn't find a donor there we liked. 


AFU, IUI this morning! Sphinxy, please move me to waiting to know. DP and I took today off work and just lounged around. The motility was 52% and the concentration was insane: 103mil!  The doctor said she is just happy when she sees 15mil. So one of those lil swimmers has to make it, right? 

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