Queer Conceptions: January 2013 - Page 23

[lea2012]

Thanks for all the support everyone. I'm bummed. I went to the doctor this morning, and then AF came this afternoon. My doctor took blood to check and see if my other symptoms (aka enormously swollen right breast) could reflect a hormonal change, but I called to update her so I'm not sure if she'll still order the test. So, this two week wait is over...onward to February.  We'll try by mail again next month and then if that doesn't work I'll take a little cross country trip to where our KD lives in March. 

I mentioned before that one of my colleagues is also TTC and did an IUI the same day we did our at home IVI - she is pregnant. She didn't say it directly, but when I asked how she was feeling she grinned and said, "I'll let you know when I have news I can share." Although I wish her well, right now I think it is going to be a hard month watching her pregnancy progress. But, it helps me to remember that even though she has access to free sperm right at home with her cisgender husband they still had a loss followed by three months of expensive treatments and IUI that wasn't covered by insurance.

I've been so distracted during this tww that I am kind of behind on work, so I've got to buckle down and write a grant application narrative now, but want to send best wishes and crossed fingers to everyone awaiting news/decisions/test results/ovulation or just taking a little break. Hopefully I'll have time to catch up on what is happening with everyone this weekend.

[bigfoot]

AFU, IUI this morning! Sphinxy, please move me to waiting to know. DP and I took today off work and just lounged around. The motility was 52% and the concentration was insane: 103mil!  The doctor said she is just happy when she sees 15mil. So one of those lil swimmers has to make it, right? 

Twomommy- Oooh, those numbers are promising! We had similarly great numbers that resulted in our BFP! Ours had never been that high before.

[granite]

I'm so sorry, lea.

Wow, y'all, DP and I just watched The Business of Being Born and my mind is blown!!! I've been taking it for granted that everyone has options around how (and when, to a certain degree!) they give birth, and hadn't realized the extent to which it has become an industry controlled by the medical system in the US. Here in my province, a pregnant person chooses either a doc or a midwife for their primary care throughout the pregnancy, and a midwife can deliver in a hospital or at the client's home; regardless, it's all covered by universal health care. We don't have birth centres, to my knowledge. The services of doulas are not funded, but they are welcomed in hospitals when accompanying their clients. I mean, I'm sure it's not perfect, but it just seems to be so *sane*.

The other part of my mind being blown is seeing all those babies being born throughout the film!!! Incredible!

Okay, I'm off to bed now. But if you haven't seen this film, I highly recommend it... And if you have, what did you think?

[lizbian]

chortles very good point you make about family limits - as you say, it relies on people's honesty & prompt reporting so it would be interesting to know what the figures really are compared to what they say. Slightly annoyingly my 'country' limit is the same as the UK even though we're actually closer to France so the donor that was our No. 1 choice was unavailable. Didn't matter too much but hadn't thought of it before we went through the process as would have cut down options significantly.

lea really sorry to hear that & hope you get better luck next time.

sandiego it must be hard emotionally when one of you is down, hopefully you can help to pick DW back up in time for Feb try.

twomommy good luck the figures sound great!!!

AFM Slightly annoyingly the bank put the prices of baby dust up massively from the 1st Jan, ie from EUR200 to EUR260 per vial. If I'd know that I would have reserved it all before 1st Jan! Oh well. Hoping to get official answer from the specialist today on my bloods. Also told him we're thinking of trying the Danish IVF clinic & to ask if they can do the tests here and send results over as much cheaper. Waiting for AF in the next couple of days so can start the planning

[Friederike]

Twomommy wow, what great numbers you've got there. Good luck for the wait, it sounds very promising.

Lea argh, 15DPO without AF and then this, what a bummer. In your place, I would def. ask the doc to still run tests to find out what's happening.

Liz you're getting close. Sorry to hear they changed the prices. It must be only for the extended profile donors, cause mine still cost the same. By the way, just in case you're planning on inseming twice in a cycle, Cryos only sent out 1 insem kit with my 4 straws, so I am glad I have another syringe at hand for 2 seperate insems. I'll have to mail them next time to make sure they include 2.

Afm US today showed a slightly too small follie, so now I'll trigger myself on sunday. I am quite relieved to use the ultrasounds, as my trigger days have been jumping around ranging from CD9-12. I would probably go crazy to try and pinpoint O on my own. So today my doctor taught me how to mix the meds and give myself the shot. I am pretty scared of needles, so imagine the joy. A young student midwife was present and she had a fun time watching my jittery self trying to stick a needle in my tummy fat at a precise 45degree angle. Swim team arrived this morning and I woke up at 5 to stare at the web tracking page to follow their travels around Europe. Then the very young delivery guy wouldn't meet my eye and seemed quite shy, I wonder what he's thinking. This time the container even had the banks web address on it in addition to the human cells and tissue sticker *lol*. There is nothing inconspicuous about ordering sperm online. Team meeting scheduled for monday evening!

[lizbian]

Friederike so exciting for you! I'm hearing you about the needles. I always have to look away, not sure how I'll go if I have to do it to myself. Love the 'swim team' I might have to pinch that.

AFM good news - the specialist has finally come back saying it 'looks like' I'm ovulating. Now waiting for an answer as to whether he thinks a trigger shot should help or we should go it alone. Had my day 21 test on day 24. Either way we're def doing it next month so just waiting for AF which is due in a few days. Yippee! I know all of our postmen here, not looking forward to the delivery!

[escher]

Hi Everyone,

San Diego: The process is so hard. I'm sorry that your wife is feeling depressed.

Fmorris: Good work with the charting! I'm glad that it is starting to make more sense.

Twomommyfamily: Great counts! I had the idea that the ideal insem time was right before ovulation. You've heard that ideally it is right after ovulation? Is the sperm supposed to be waiting for the egg or is the egg supposed to be waiting for the sperm?

Lea: I'm sorry about AF. And that is definitely a challenge about your colleague getting pregnant at the same time you are trying. I'm glad that at least she had a hard journey to get there--when we were ttc the first time I definitely found pregnant people more tolerable if I knew they had struggled first.

Granite: The Business of Being Born was one of the things that made us really start considering a home birth. And I agree that some of the birth footage is fantastic!

Lizbian: It's good news that it looks like you are ovulating! It's annoying that the bank didn't warn you that they were going to raise prices. My bank always lets us know a month or two in advance so we can purchase before the price raise if we want to. It's exciting that you get to start waiting to O so soon!

Friederike: Your insem is coming right up! I can imagine the shot would be scary. Good luck!

AFM: 2dpo. It looks from temps like my wife did ovulate the night before the IUI, which definitely doesn't seem like ideal timing. Oh well. Hopefully next cycle we can do the IUI a bit earlier.

[scorpioma]

granite: I LOVED that movie. want to watch it again, actually!! made me think seriously about a home birth, also.

escher: my understanding is that IUI's have to be close to O but on either side (before or after) because the sperm doesn't live as long in the uterus. 6-12 hours on either side of O, I think?

lizbian, YAY! getting close!

Friederike, Good luck with the trigger!!!

afm I am waiting around at 10DPO. This is starting to feel really long... 

[lizbian]

hi all, random question but what are you going to/do you tell your little ones about where they come from? We're going to tell ours from the time they're small but thinking of writing a kiddie's book about 'where do I come from?' the LGBT version  I have my own ideas but would be interested to hear what you think as I know it's a pretty personal decision.

edited

AF has arrived!!!! yippee!!!!!!  I never thought I'd ever be happy to see it in my life - how grown up I feel now. x

Edited by lizbian - 1/25/13 at 12:04pm

[JustAnotherJenny]

Hi Lizbian!

There is actually a FANTASTIC book that discusses this.  It's about how ANY baby is made.  It's great! I contributed to this kickstarter and was really impressed with the final product.

http://www.what-makes-a-baby.com/

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1809291619/what-makes-a-baby

[lizbian]

justanotherjenny - thanks very much, will check it out!

[lovingisliving]

Hello all!  I don't know where to begin, other than I've been eyeing this forum for over a year and this is my first post.  DP and I are in the process of TTC (we're both 26).  I will be carrying this first time.  We started this process of trying in July.  Our first was at home and then started seeing a RE; which has done two IUI's.  None of which have been successful.  I've been on prenatals for a year now and use OPK's.  I have a history of endometriosis, but my OB seems to think with my overall health and age that pregnancy shouldn't be hard to come by.  I also had an HSG done prior to the first IUI and all is clear.  We took the month of January off from trying and will hopefully try in February.  The RE wants to start monitoring follicular growth via sonogram, starting February 1st.  My cycle tends to be 32 days, but lately hasn't been exact.  They say that fertility drugs aren't necessary right now because of my health and age and the risk of multiples.  I've been doing a lot of research and have started drinking FertiliTea and will begin acupuncture next week. 

Sorry for the upchuck of information!  I'm just in need of a boost.  We want to be moms and can't wait for the day we see a positive line!!

Any tips, advice, words of encouragement are gladly accepted
 

[Sphinxy]

escher - I have good feelings about your timing, I have read the same as scorpio, up to 6-12 hours before or after O. The swimmers have much less distance to travel, so they could have found the egg just in the nick of time. I know it can be hard to stay positive when looking at your timing with hindsight, but we will stay positive for you! Also, if you do have to go another cycle, I highly recommend the mid-day OPK as well. My first cycle my first positive was around 1pm. And since it's really only the timing of the first positive that matters, especially with an IUI, I would want as much data as possible to zero in on the proper window.

twomommy - I had not heard that a late morning OPK is too early, I thought it was like, a surge is a surge, whenever it happens. Either way, sounds like you had great timing, too, and some really fantastic numbers!!

Darcy - After all of the drama I really hope this cycle works for you. Thoughts on how early you might take a test? The progesterone sounds like a great plan. I will send you a private message about my bank.

chortles - I don't know for sure about the tracking method that the banks use to monitor the number of families, but I believe they must be taking into account probability (hopefully based on precedence) of how many women would likely all get pregnant the same month. I would think it would be highly unlikely for ten out of ten to get pregnant the same month, you know?

SanDiego -

scorpio - Did you hear positive news from merstone off-thread? I have been thinking of her. She was so worried when she got her BFP and all that bleeding simultaneously, I have been caustiously optimistic that her little bean stuck. But I haven't noticed any updates, so I'm just leaving her (and Lindsey, for that matter) in the Waiting To Know column just in case they aren't feeling ready to be graduated yet.

Oh, lea. I'm so sorry. And how complicated to have the mixed emotions of your coworker.

granite - Yes, it sure seems like the US can find a way to turn just about anything into a booming industry, with all the consequences that come with it.

Lizbian - How exciting to be getting so close! I'm thrilled for you. Have you ever tried raspberry leaf tea? I drank that during my period this past cycle because of the supposed detoxifying properties. I noticed a lot more of the brown-ish flow than usual, which made me think it was working, like I was getting my uterus all cleaned up a ready for company!

Friederike - Oh, yay! How exciting. You made me laugh about the delivery guy - I'm surprised they made the contents so obvious! Good luck sticking yourself this weekend, you can do it - be brave!

Thanks for the tip, Jenny!

Afm, today is 8DPO. I have had such a busy few days! Phew, my work was really distracting which was great but also exhausting, so I am spending my Friday night sitting in my hotel, waiting for mexican food takeout to arrive, and catching up with all of you. My nausea on Wednesday lasted about 24 hours and hasn't returned, which made me feel good when it went away of course but also nervous because deep down I was hoping that it was a sign of morning sickness. My mom had very similar nausea her entire first trimester while carrying my sister. So, I guess that's not a sign afterall though. Yesterday I felt pretty good, and then today I had a little bit of cramping in the morning that went away without spotting - I keep telling myself not to get too excited but I know it's possible the cramping was due to implantation. Oh, how I hope it is! I won't see DW until tomorrow afternoon, so I don't want to test before Sunday's FMU at the earliest... but I'm also really nervous about seeing another BFN, so I might just wait. I know I haven't been trying that long, but it's hard not to feel the anticipation of another let-down on the horizon.

Edited by Sphinxy - 1/25/13 at 5:40pm

[Twomommyfamily]

Sphinxy: yeah, it wasn't late morning urine, it was 6:30 am urine and fmu was maybe 10 minutes before that. I think it was still build up of lh over the course of the night. I think I surged mid-morningish, but didn't take an OPK to work to confirm that. Also, you mentioned red raspberry tea. I love it! Since I started red raspberry my AFs have been so much more manageable, lighter, and shorter with no spotting. My fingers are crossed for you this month 

Lovingisliving:  sounds like you and DP have already done quite a bit of research and are working with an RE... baby dust to you for your next insem!

Lizbian: I'm glad you asked that question about a Where Did I Come From book! We've been thinking we want something along those lines too. And hey, you are CD1 now! The first cycle! How exciting!! I second Sphinxy's recommendation for red raspberry leaf. 

Escher: I've heard the same as Sphinxy and Scorpioma. With frozen, which don't live long, and IUI, when there isnt far to travel, post O is fine. 12 hours or so on either side. The egg stays in the tube waiting for a sperm for about 24 hours, the swimmers just need to get there in time. 

Friederike: Exciting and scary to trigger yourself! Good luck!! What cycle day will you be on when you trigger? Is the IUI scheduled for 36 hrs later?

AFM, nothing really. bloated. Starting progesterone tonight. Thinking the tww is an eternity and I'm only on day 1. 

[scorpioma]

 lovingisliving!  You will love it here. Thanks for sharing your experiences so far! Looking forward to getting to know you more!

Sphinxy, no, you are right, I do not know about what is going on with merstone at this time! Hope we hear from her and Lindsey soon (wink wink, you two!! :))

Glad you felt a little cramping- always a good sign!  

twomommyfamily, the TWW IS TOTALLY FOREVER! You are right. Welcome to it, though, and yay for progesterone!  Hope you are feeling well!

AFM, 11DPO tomorrow. Got a BFN today at 10DPO, which means nothing, but that I broke down and tested. Haha. With my long luteal phases I probably won't get an early BFP anyways.

[lizbian]

lovingisliving welcome & I hope it all comes together for you soon. I have no words of advice only encouragement as I am much more of a novice than you

sphinx nope not heard about raspberry tea but will be on the lookout for some today if they even sell such a thing on this island!!! thanks & good luck, let's hope it's that little sucker hanging on & getting well & truly stuck

twomommyfamilythanks and thanks - I can imagine it's hard to distract yourself & it probably feels like the longest 2 weeks ever. I'm going to be pretty busy for mine & not expecting a BFP when I get there but I can imagine that changing.

scorp everything crossed for you.

[DarcySD]

Hi everyone - just jumping on here quickly and will come back and do personals later. Has anyone here had experience with taking progesterone? I am so sick and threw up multiple times tonight. The only thing I can think of is I started progesterone two days ago. I know it mimics early pregnancy and all but has anyone experienced this before? I am so so sick and trying to figure out if I have the flu, food poisoning or if it's the progesterone. Thanks all!!

[Friederike]

I know it can definitely make you queasy and upset your stomach, especially if it's taken orally, although I am not sure if to the point of throwing up several times. You should probably call your doctor. Are you taking them orally? If so, I would try switching to vaginally, they are better absorbed this way anyways.



Afm due to all the talk about The business of being born on here, I hunted down the movie online (on Vimeo) and watched it late last night. Gave me very weird dreams about birth and breastfeeding. Very interesting documentary though, although I was a bit bothered by how they used plenty storytelling tricks to demonize the hospitals to make their point. I loved the NYC midwife, I'd want to have someone like her for my care. I was left wondering though, aren't there midwive run stations in hospitals in the US? Here that's where the majority of the midwives work. There is a German law that requires the presence of one midwife next to the doctor in a clinic, so they manage most of the birth process alone, with the OB/GYN mostly coming in for problems and the delivery. I thought in the states it was similar, but maybe it isn't. It might explain those odd statistics they presented in the movie, where they contrasted all the European countries with the US and how most babies are delivered by midwives over here. They kinda glossed over the fact, that we still have a 90something hospital delivery rate, it's just with midwives present and perhaps in a birth pool.

[samy23]

Can anyone advise me please? I got a positive OPK today and expect to Ovulate tomorrow (Sunday), but my donor can't make it until Tuesday. Will that be too late? I don't know if the egg will still be viable, as all I can find online says 24 hours for the  egg maximum, which will be Monday. So Tuesday is too late right? .....Would you try anyway, just in case? I don't know what to do here.

[Friederike]

Hey Samy, from what I read in medicine textbooks, the egg slowly starts deteriorating after about 6 hours and has a maximum lifespan of 24 hours, some even say only 12 hours. Do you have any clue how soon after the surge you're ovulating? It could range from about 12 to 36 or even more hours. So I guess if you're a late ovulator there might be a chance for tuesday, however it doesn't seem very likely. I am sorry. If it doesn't cost you anything, I would still try though.