~~~~2013 Low Income Support Thread~~~~ - Page 4

[maciascl]

Originally Posted by justmama 

A lot of rough situations out there.  I'm not surprised but more saddened really.  America is such a world power and even here we have people struggling just to survive.  I know they say that Americans don't know poverty because we have food to eat and phones and homes and such but this isn't India where you can set up a shack and live there for free.  You HAVE to have a home or you are arrested.  

Thank you for saying that. I feel guilty because even with as bad as it gets I am so often reminded that these are 1st world problems and it could be so much worse. However, like you said things are set up differently here. I can't just build a shack somewhere and live there. While we are blessed, it is almost like compareing apples to oranges.

We are getting a wonderful tax return and I am so beyond excited to be able to do soem of he little things we have been wanting to, like getting the boys bunk beds so they have room in their tiny room to actually play. Dh was promised a promotion but of course they are dragging their feet in giving it to him. They also haven't told him what hte pay increase will be. He is the lowest paid person in the area for his current position  so I am guessing it will be the same with the new position as well.  It is such a tough spot to be in because we are so grateful, but at the same time it is maddening that they are paying him so much less and tacking advantage of him.

[mamarhu]

I haven't joined in yet this year, so a brief introduction:

I am a single working mom, kids still at home are 16 & 17. Historically, I have been rich at times (by my standards anyway!), and poor (homeless, welfare) at times. I have owned my own businesses, lived urban and rural, had good jobs and bad, had up to 6 kids at home at a time, mostly unschooled, lived entirely off the grid for 5 years (on a sailboat, mostly in the Caribbean), and lived in developing countries. I say all this to explain my perspective - I tend to be all over the place in my opinions, and have way too many BTDT stories.

These days, I am employed full time at a job I love but still struggling on the edge financially. My primary gripe ties in with the discussion above - that's what prompted me to join in tonight. I have a college degree, do an important, useful job, am very good at it, and I make less than poverty level wages. We live modestly, although I know we could be more frugal. It seems to me that a person working full time ought to be able to make a living. There is something wrong in a "rich" society that average people cannot depend on healthcare, a stable food supply, reliable transportation, and adequate retirement income. It irks me that I am playing the game by all the rules, and not quite making it. And so many of my friends (including y'all here ) and clients are in the same position.

Thanks, I feel better.

And so to end on a happier note, I just invented "Cream of Everything Soup". Take everything in the back of the produce drawer of the fridge (1/2 a leek, 1 carrot, slightly limp, 2 stalks of celery, trim off the brown ends, 2 parsnips, a turnip, an onion, and a large handful of sad spinach), add all the weird containers of leftovers from the last week or so (maybe 1 cup each of cooked yams, mashed potatoes, some overcooked broccoli, and stir-fried chicken with bok choy). Put all this in a pot with enough water to cover, add whatever spices are handy (I found curry powder, salt, and cayenne pepper), cover so the kids can't see what you are doing, and simmer until the veggies are soft. Remove from the stove, and blend in batches in the blender you got last week at a thrift store for $3.50 (blue tags 1/2 price!), and return to stove. In a small bowl, mix the last 3 or 4 tablespoons of flour from the bottom of the canister with water until smooth, and add to the soup pot, stirring and simmering until it thickens. Add about 3/4 cup of plain yogurt, even if it is a couple days past the expiration date. Serve with homemade croutons (made from the frozen ends of loaves of bread saved for this purpose), in mismatched bowls. Serves 3 for dinner tonight, with enough leftovers for warm snacks all weekend.

[chilee]

Do you ever just snap?

We snapped and sent into denial...buying expensive Lego, brand new boots and snowsuits....we live in the middle of no where. Just moved here lastyear. There is a thrift store, but I can no longer rely on lots of thrift stores or shipping around sales to get stuff for the kids so SNAP!

I am still not quite ready to deal with reality.

Maybe a full night of sleep would sort me out...

With 3 kids in the bed there is always someone waking you up...baby needs a boob, big boy needs to stick his knew on my ear..sister needs to climb over my face soshe can touch baby at 4am.

God I love these kids :P

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by chilee 

Do you ever just snap?

We snapped and sent into denial...buying expensive Lego, brand new boots and snowsuits....we live in the middle of no where. Just moved here lastyear. There is a thrift store, but I can no longer rely on lots of thrift stores or shipping around sales to get stuff for the kids so SNAP!
 

I think that's really common.  If you can, *this* is why you should try to build in either a goal or a reward to your budget, preferably both. If you just go "without" for so long it just gets to feel so... hopeless.  As soon as we could even kind of afford it, DP & I got "allowances" so we at least had a little spending money. Actually, we even did that in college.  Otherwise it's like a diet--- you're good and good and good and good and then HUGE BINGE and you're back to where you were before.  If you have your eye on a "prize" (either  a short/medium term goal) or an actual treat, it can be a lot easier to pass up stuff.  I hope your snap didn't set you too far back!

[justmama]

I snap.  Frequently.  Sometimes with spending, sometimes not.  

Well, that blizzard?  It SUUUUUUCKED.  It was not thrifty by any means.  We lost power for 4 days.  We are just back in our home tonight for the first time.  We lost a lot of food int he fridge and freezer.  I had it buried in snow outside but today was 45 and raining and I couldn't keep it safe with the power off still so it went bad.  I'm salvaging some of it by cooking it now but we did lose quite a bit.  And there was way too much eating out of the house and burning gas driving back and forth to the house to feed the cats.  We couldn't stay here.  The house was under 40degrees.  But the pipes didn't freeze because we dripped the faucets and we have some non-perishables to cook for breakfast(dry oats and such) and some canned applesauce.  We survived.  I'm running laundries and cleaning up and school resumes tomorrow.  We still have to figure out where to put the 2 1/2ft of snow because we are expecting another 6 inches this weekend from what I hear.  

Thankful for:

-my crockpot making veggie stock for me right now

-HEAT!!!

-electricity

-a wonderful ex-husband who took us in for the last 4 days and was really supportive of everything the kids and I needed.

-my neighbors who helped me shovel out and snowblowed my driveway in my absence when the plow plowed me in again.

-my kids who are so resilient and held it together for the most part even when they didn't know where we were gonna sleep that night or when they were cold and hungry and just wanted to tantrum.

[micah_mae_]

Ugh I cant put it off anymore, I have to start seeing a chiropractor regularly I am in too much pain daily to even deal with every day life. I went yesterday and he was amazed I was walking as well as I was. I have several areas that cause bad problems, numbness in my arm and limited mobility in my hips. Now I have to figure out how to pay for it and how to get over the guilt. 

[justmama]

  Sometimes the people who deserve it the least are the ones subjected to daily pain or other major daily challenges.  It seems so unfair. 

[meandk0610]

Speaking of snapping, I was just thinking about this the past few days.

I am so sick of having no money. I am so sick of having to use food stamps. I am so sick of everyone that I "know" (who doesn't know that I use food stamps) talking about the useless "takers" who are all on food stamps and not working. I am so sick of being so sick and tired that I can't work more than part-time (fibromyalgia and adrenal fatigue). My doctor had said I could probably recover from the AF in 6-12 months last May - IF I could adjust my lifestyle, get treated for my long-term PTSD, and keep taking the supplements. I can't afford the supplements. I couldn't find someone close to my mom's who specialized in PTSD while we lived there and the one lady that I tried to contact who did phone appointments and took Medicaid had a disconnected phone number. I have days where I'm essentially bed-ridden when I'm not at work (4 hours/day).

I am so sick of feeling humiliated every time I go grocery shopping. I am so sick of snarky cashiers who wonder why I'm actually buying meat (chicken at about $1/lb) or things like ghee (can't tolerate dairy) or actual fruits and veggies. I'm so sick of not being able to eat like other people due to multiple food intolerances and having had part of my large intestine removed years ago. I can't tolerate much fiber and have to eat mostly meat and fat with some lower fiber veggies and fruit so that I'm not in pain. I'm SO SICK OF FEELING LIKE I'LL NEVER GET AHEAD! I'm so sick of feeling hopeless. I feel like I should wear a giant sign around the grocery store explaining that I do work and that food stamps are cheaper than me trying to go on full disability.

I'm so sick of feeling like a failure.
 

I'm so sick of this life and feeling trapped.

/rant

I'm going to bed, hoping that I'll be out of my funk for at least a little while tomorrow.

[ILoveMyBabyBird]

It really saddens me the way the system is set up. I have a big complaint with childcare costs. All the big places charge about 40-50$ for a child under 2, yet the workers get paid about 9.50-11.00 an hour. I had an interview and was offered a job back in august, the director was sure to explain they did not offer a discount for children under 2, but they gladly accept srs. WTF? Sorry but if your own employees need to get assistance to utilize the services there is something wrong with the picture. I declined the job because I don't qualify for srs and it 9.70 an hour even with the xdh paying half of both kids daycare is still me walking out after taxes and gas etc pretty much making 25$ a day. I won't do it. That money is not worth it for me to spent 40+ hours away from my toddler and 1st grader.

So I sit here and live off of my spousal and child support, I get too much to qualify for any assistance other than reduced lunch for my DS, but we are still under the poverty level and way under the living wage which is 23$ an hour for a single parent household with 2 kids. Right now it is as if I am making about 11$ an hour from a 40/hour a week job with my ss/cs.  I have just enough to pay my monthly bills and slowly pay down my remaining cc and my little cushion lest xdh decides not to pay me on time. I won't have any extra money for college, so i will have to get loans to get my teachers license. Luckily the program is only going to be about 6000$ plus books and fees and then I pray I find a teaching job in 18 months for the internship so then I will be able to pay for the rest of my classes/masters degree with my job. Otherwise I will be subbing or something which is very risky with no drop in care for the kids.

I watch my money via mint.com Money is tight this month, I do not want to have to dip into my cushion money, I have about 175$ to last me until the end of the month plus 17$ in cash. I have 1 bill of 38$ that will be drafted, a half a tank of gas, I will get hopefully 40$ at my sunday nursery job the remainder of the month. I do have to drive 2 hours each way tuesday to the university i will be going to college in the spring and i need to pay 35$ to get a health assessment and background check for the volunteer position i need to start in order to get my teachers license. So I may have to dip into my EF unless I sell some more items on craigslist. I thought i did good budgeting this month but the next 2 weeks are going to be very tight on not going over my month budget.

[micah_mae_]

Originally Posted by justmama 

  Sometimes the people who deserve it the least are the ones subjected to daily pain or other major daily challenges.  It seems so unfair. 

It does seem to pour when it rains. We just moved and are still paying for stuff, baby is due in a month and we have very little for him and now this.

[justmama]

Originally Posted by ILoveMyBabyBird 

It really saddens me the way the system is set up. I have a big complaint with childcare costs. All the big places charge about 40-50$ for a child under 2, yet the workers get paid about 9.50-11.00 an hour. I had an interview and was offered a job back in august, the director was sure to explain they did not offer a discount for children under 2, but they gladly accept srs. WTF? Sorry but if your own employees need to get assistance to utilize the services there is something wrong with the picture. I declined the job because I don't qualify for srs and it 9.70 an hour even with the xdh paying half of both kids daycare is still me walking out after taxes and gas etc pretty much making 25$ a day. I won't do it. That money is not worth it for me to spent 40+ hours away from my toddler and 1st grader.

So I sit here and live off of my spousal and child support, I get too much to qualify for any assistance other than reduced lunch for my DS, but we are still under the poverty level and way under the living wage which is 23$ an hour for a single parent household with 2 kids. Right now it is as if I am making about 11$ an hour from a 40/hour a week job with my ss/cs.  I have just enough to pay my monthly bills and slowly pay down my remaining cc and my little cushion lest xdh decides not to pay me on time. I won't have any extra money for college, so i will have to get loans to get my teachers license. Luckily the program is only going to be about 6000$ plus books and fees and then I pray I find a teaching job in 18 months for the internship so then I will be able to pay for the rest of my classes/masters degree with my job. Otherwise I will be subbing or something which is very risky with no drop in care for the kids.

WOW!  That's me!  I got a job about 6 months ago at a daycare and I literally wouldn't even break even after paying for daycare.  I would be $300 in the red every month.  I COULD have gotten daycare assistance but WTF is the point of working to pay for daycare?????  AND on top of that the transportation for my big kids from school to daycare didn't work out at all and my youngest would have to leave her current preschool to attend daycare where I would work instead because I couldn't get her from school to daycare.  It made no sense.  I had to turn down the job.  So I sit here living off child support and the meager few bucks I make doing before school care for a couple of neighborhood kids every day and waiting for this coming September when the youngest is in full-day kindergarten along with the other two so I can afford to work.  It's disgusting how the system is set up for failure.  

Originally Posted by meandk0610 

Speaking of snapping, I was just thinking about this the past few days.

I am so sick of having no money. I am so sick of having to use food stamps. I am so sick of everyone that I "know" (who doesn't know that I use food stamps) talking about the useless "takers" who are all on food stamps and not working. I am so sick of being so sick and tired that I can't work more than part-time (fibromyalgia and adrenal fatigue). My doctor had said I could probably recover from the AF in 6-12 months last May - IF I could adjust my lifestyle, get treated for my long-term PTSD, and keep taking the supplements. I can't afford the supplements. I couldn't find someone close to my mom's who specialized in PTSD while we lived there and the one lady that I tried to contact who did phone appointments and took Medicaid had a disconnected phone number. I have days where I'm essentially bed-ridden when I'm not at work (4 hours/day).

I am so sick of feeling humiliated every time I go grocery shopping. I am so sick of snarky cashiers who wonder why I'm actually buying meat (chicken at about $1/lb) or things like ghee (can't tolerate dairy) or actual fruits and veggies. I'm so sick of not being able to eat like other people due to multiple food intolerances and having had part of my large intestine removed years ago. I can't tolerate much fiber and have to eat mostly meat and fat with some lower fiber veggies and fruit so that I'm not in pain. I'm SO SICK OF FEELING LIKE I'LL NEVER GET AHEAD! I'm so sick of feeling hopeless. I feel like I should wear a giant sign around the grocery store explaining that I do work and that food stamps are cheaper than me trying to go on full disability.

I'm so sick of feeling like a failure.
 

I'm so sick of this life and feeling trapped.

/rant

I'm going to bed, hoping that I'll be out of my funk for at least a little while tomorrow.

  You have 100% of my sympathies right now.  I feel the exact.same.way.  I am so tired of being broke.  Too broke to even go to the dollar store for toilet paper.  I stopped taking my meds for my OCD which of course doesn't help but I'm seen at a local clinic for medicaid patients and they treat you like a bum there.  They randomly drug test all the mental health patients.  They threaten to call CPS if you miss an appt.  They attempt a lot of "patient education" in the form of pushing vaccines and med-tracking systems and such that make you feel like a lowlife piece of scum.  I hate going there.  It's my only option unless I can pay $150 an hour out of pocket weekly for mental health services plus about $400 a month for meds.  I hate feeling like a loser.  A CRAZY loser.    And going to the grocery store and using my food stamps and getting the eye rolls because I splurged on the organic apples that time or maybe I got a pack of gum for my kids or maybe I have a buttload of coupons.  No matter what I do, someone is pissy about my purchases because of the way I pay for them.  And you try to go to the self-checkout lane to avoid having to piss people off and be embarrassed and it comes up for a "random" audit of your cart.  EVERY.DAMN.TIME.  Coincidence???  No.    Let's just be honest here though.  You see a fairly young mother with 3 children in tow at the grocery store buying their groceries with food stamps and you think what???  Welfare queen.  Of course.  I get that.  I may be young but I'm a divorced mom.  I'm responsible.  My kids are clean, fed, and taken care of.  They are well-behaved.  I feel like I need to put a sign on my back saying, "divorced.  my husband left me.  not a loser, I swear!"

[meandk0610]

Originally Posted by justmama 

WOW!  That's me!  I got a job about 6 months ago at a daycare and I literally wouldn't even break even after paying for daycare.  I would be $300 in the red every month.  I COULD have gotten daycare assistance but WTF is the point of working to pay for daycare?????  AND on top of that the transportation for my big kids from school to daycare didn't work out at all and my youngest would have to leave her current preschool to attend daycare where I would work instead because I couldn't get her from school to daycare.  It made no sense.  I had to turn down the job.  So I sit here living off child support and the meager few bucks I make doing before school care for a couple of neighborhood kids every day and waiting for this coming September when the youngest is in full-day kindergarten along with the other two so I can afford to work.  It's disgusting how the system is set up for failure.  

  You have 100% of my sympathies right now.  I feel the exact.same.way.  I am so tired of being broke.  Too broke to even go to the dollar store for toilet paper.  I stopped taking my meds for my OCD which of course doesn't help but I'm seen at a local clinic for medicaid patients and they treat you like a bum there.  They randomly drug test all the mental health patients.  They threaten to call CPS if you miss an appt.  They attempt a lot of "patient education" in the form of pushing vaccines and med-tracking systems and such that make you feel like a lowlife piece of scum.  I hate going there.  It's my only option unless I can pay $150 an hour out of pocket weekly for mental health services plus about $400 a month for meds.  I hate feeling like a loser.  A CRAZY loser.    And going to the grocery store and using my food stamps and getting the eye rolls because I splurged on the organic apples that time or maybe I got a pack of gum for my kids or maybe I have a buttload of coupons.  No matter what I do, someone is pissy about my purchases because of the way I pay for them.  And you try to go to the self-checkout lane to avoid having to piss people off and be embarrassed and it comes up for a "random" audit of your cart.  EVERY.DAMN.TIME.  Coincidence???  No.    Let's just be honest here though.  You see a fairly young mother with 3 children in tow at the grocery store buying their groceries with food stamps and you think what???  Welfare queen.  Of course.  I get that.  I may be young but I'm a divorced mom.  I'm responsible.  My kids are clean, fed, and taken care of.  They are well-behaved.  I feel like I need to put a sign on my back saying, "divorced.  my husband left me.  not a loser, I swear!"

Or the self-check lanes don't take EBT.

I know, let's open a print shop and make money making sandwich-board signs for moms on SNAP to wear around!

BTW, how the heck do you even get to BE a welfare queen? There's no money, AFAIK, other than food stamps unless you're owed child support via DSS and then they have to be paid back. I don't get it....

[justmama]

lol.  I know huh?   It's funny, I really don't know how the "welfare queen" scenario worked out.  I have a friend who said her mom was/is great at it.  She worked the system, got everything she was entitled to, knew all the freebies, etc.  But I have no idea how that would work because even if I somehow qualified for TANF(I don't) I wouldn't get enough to cover my rent.  How would you pay rent on a normal place as just TANF for your income???  When my youngest was a baby we were on it for a year because it was part of an education program through my state and you got free daycare, TANF, $3 per day for transportation, and food stamps as a c ombo package.  But just for the 2 of us they gave me $399 plus the $50 pass-through payment of my child uspport.  That's it. Rent here for a 2 bedroom in a not so nice area(think gun shots and drug deals out in the open) is about $800 per month.  How do you manage that????  And on top of that you have at least a 2 year waiting list for section 8 housing.  So you either live on the streets for 2 years or live with family/friends without paying rent before you can afford to survive.  I don't even know how that's a valid option and how TANF got to be so stigmatized.  In my opinion, someone on TANF should be given praise for surviving on NOTHING for so long instead of made out to be this horrible person working the system.

[frugalmama]

I'm back here again too..just when I thought we were going to get a handle on things. We bought a fixer upper foreclosure in December with a life insurance policy we came into, and barely made it out of our old home before they foreclosed on it. My mother who lives with us got sick just as we were moving, and she has spent the last 6 weeks in the hospital and rehab, and we still aren't sure when she'll be coming home. Until she comes home, her check goes to the rehab facility so we have no income coming it other than what I can earn. I still owe $400 for moving and repairs to the new house, and we don't have central heat or AC. Thankfully our friends who helped us move found me a $50 gas stove on CL so I had one, and I've been using it to heat the house when needed plus one tiny space heater. We finally got the internet hooked up today - I couldn't take spending a half a day on the bus to get to the library with dd in tow just to use the internet. I'm hoping to list a bunch of stuff on CL and a few other places and raise some funds. At least hopefully Tuesday we should finally get our FS and Medicaid back hopefully. With everything going on it lapsed and we just now were able to renew it. 

I'm trying to brainstorm ideas for raising funds. I really need to get our moving costs paid off, plus the $500 old electric bill plus another $200 plus labor to get the AC in this house somewhat running before summer. And I haven't even been able to think about the taxes yet on the new house. 

I've been trying to focus on the blessings....we own our home and no one can take it away from us, we have food and clothing, it's not been too cold or too hot here, and dd took the move far better than I expected with her ASD. 

[micah_mae_]

Originally Posted by frugalmama 

I'm back here again too..just when I thought we were going to get a handle on things. We bought a fixer upper foreclosure in December with a life insurance policy we came into, and barely made it out of our old home before they foreclosed on it. My mother who lives with us got sick just as we were moving, and she has spent the last 6 weeks in the hospital and rehab, and we still aren't sure when she'll be coming home. Until she comes home, her check goes to the rehab facility so we have no income coming it other than what I can earn. I still owe $400 for moving and repairs to the new house, and we don't have central heat or AC. Thankfully our friends who helped us move found me a $50 gas stove on CL so I had one, and I've been using it to heat the house when needed plus one tiny space heater. We finally got the internet hooked up today - I couldn't take spending a half a day on the bus to get to the library with dd in tow just to use the internet. I'm hoping to list a bunch of stuff on CL and a few other places and raise some funds. At least hopefully Tuesday we should finally get our FS and Medicaid back hopefully. With everything going on it lapsed and we just now were able to renew it. 

I'm trying to brainstorm ideas for raising funds. I really need to get our moving costs paid off, plus the $500 old electric bill plus another $200 plus labor to get the AC in this house somewhat running before summer. And I haven't even been able to think about the taxes yet on the new house. 

I've been trying to focus on the blessings....we own our home and no one can take it away from us, we have food and clothing, it's not been too cold or too hot here, and dd took the move far better than I expected with her ASD. 

That is so awesome that you own your home, I can't imagine the security that must give you! We just moved as well (rentals) and I'm stressing about whether or not to pay for the old house to be professionally cleaned and such. They want us to but our deposit was only $500 so we'll use most of it just cleaning the place and then no guarantee on getting anything back. Sigh.

My advice would be to sell as much as possible on CL to pay down that old electric bill and moving cost. You'll feel better and can worry about AC afterwards. *hug*

[SunShineSally]

Can I join? Just got back on mdc after a few years!! My husband and I only bring in between 1800-2000 a month depending on his commission I'm a sahm because if I went to work we would lose foods ramps medical and all my income would go to daycare and some of his would too so financially it is better for us and we are able to save a little cash each month not much but some

[zebra15]

Well im going back to subbing.  The 'cost' of full time working was too much. We would loose food stamps and medical next month.  plus i was stressing from the call center environment and such.  I am at peace with the decision.  I am still looking for full time work that pays enough to get us out of poverty and off state aid.   I'm pondering going back to grad school for counseling.  I never took grad loans so I *think* I have $$ available to me.    Tomorrow I start a 4 day subbing job - high school history (the best IMO- subject and ages)

I kinda feel bad about quitting - I was only there 5 weeks for classroom training but I just can't afford it.  $12.hr plus $300 month insurance and the deductible.... plus max out of pocket puts insurance close to 10k a year.   I have health issues, ds has issues.  we need good insurance.  plus rx's.  asthma meds and psych meds are probably close to $700/month.  I just don't have that $$ until the deductible is met.  Its a sad day when someone can not afford to work.

I'n happy news... DS is so looking forward to ST Pattys day.  We had a small celebration for V=day but I really love st pats day and we are sooooo looking forward to that.

does anyone have GF soda bread recipies??

[mamarhu]

I am posting just to gripe this morning. Usually, I am grateful and appreciative of how much we have. But today, I feel overwhelmed.
 

My tax refund is due to be deposited in 2 days. It is less than 1/2 what I got last year. I had hoped to be able to finally do something about my car - repair or replace it, whatever. And I thought I would be able to buy a CSA share for the next year. But not only will I not have enough, I will have to spend most of the refund on overdue bills. DD needs glasses, I need a passport (long story; I can't renew my driver's license without it). My Mom and I have been trying to find a house to rent together, and that would really help the money situation. I have put on hold any non-essential purchases. "I will take care of that after we move". I am beginning to fear that we may never find a place that meets our needs. So all these things are piling up - glasses, passport, dozens more.

For 6 months, I have been thinking that by now, all the money issues would be solved. Now, there is no end in sight. And I am just feeling overwhelmed.

[justmama]

mamarhu, I'm so sorry.  I hate that overwhelmed feeling you get from just being so flat broke all.the.time.    If there's ANY silver lining at all to your situation it seems, it's that you've made it this long without breaking.  You seem to be doing fairly well on so very little and that's hugely commendable.  Sometimes I don't think we give ourselves credit for carrying the sheer weight that sits on our shoulders all day long.

zebra, that makes me angry.  Same thing happened to me at a call center here.  I made it 3 months.  I had to quit after that.  I was literally bringing home $100 a week after daycare and insurance.  $400 a month for fulltime 40hours a week employment.  That's not even counting the professional wardrobe I needed to wear and the gas back and forth and the sheer stress on myself and my kids.  Of course I had a husband at the time who was also deploying a month or two later....... That didn't help for sure.  

I'm just going to put some down reasons I'm grateful because this week is already frustrating and I need a reminder.

Gratefuls:

-my parents bought my kids and I a membership to the local marine biology place that we adore.  We can even walk there and make it a free day!

-I set aside some time I probably didn't have tonight for a run and it felt really good.  I'm smiling now.  I was yelling at the kids and the cats before I left for it.

-Just found out that girl scout camp does financial assistance.  Between that and cookie credits, I'm hoping my middle daughter will get to go to camp this summer.  None of my kids have ever been!

-It's school vacation week.  I'm missing before-school-care money but dang it feels good to sleep in!

-Medical and dental insurance.  I say this all the time but we would be so screwed witnout it.  My oldest is getting her braces on tomorrow and I can't wait to see how it improves her smile.  She's such a pretty girl but her teeth are horrible.  And she's getting braces 100% covered by medicaid because they are so bad.  I hope when they come off in a year that she loves her smile and we see it more often.

[maciascl]

Sounds like we are all in the same mind set right now. The system sucks and is set up so you can't ever get ahead. The rest of the world just sits back and complains about all the 'takers' and 'welfare queens' and I just want to scream. When you have to quit a job or turn down a job because you would actually have less than when you aren't working some thing is seriously wrong. People just don't get that and call you lazy and tell you that you just need to MAKE it work. No one gets it unless they have been there. It is very isolating.

We are actually in a weird place right now. We got a really nice tax refund and I am both relieved that I can breath for a bit, put some money aside, pay off some bills, and buy some of the things that we have really needed for awhile. However, at the same time I feel panicked that I am not squirreling away enough and want to cry every time we spend even though it is planned. It is almost like PTSD and not being able to part with money. I now understand why people were still hoarding food long after the depression. That and going back to the paragraph above, I feel guilty every time we get something. Like my kids don't deserve to have bunk beds or I shouldn't be allowed to replace my broken food processor because we are on food stamps. I feel so guilty and it sucks!