~~~~2013 Low Income Support Thread~~~~ - Page 5

[mamarhu]

Justmama - thank you. Your kind words brought tears to my eyes. I really needed someone to acknowledge that yes, it sometimes sucks. And to remind me that I have survived much worse.

I sure appreciate the comradery here. IRL, my friends either have so much more $ than I do, and I am almost ashamed to talk about money troubles, at least too specifically, or else they have so much less that I feel guilty to complain. Here, I can say, with or without going into the details, that I find it all depressing. And that is good enough. Ahhhhh. Thank you, one and all.

[frugalmama]

The system does suck. And lord help if you owe student loans too. I'm stuck in that rut of because I couldn't prove I had no income {and really, how do you prove you have no income if they won't accept a notarized statement?} my student loans went into default. Now I get no tax refund at all. And if I try to get on SSI because of my health issues, they'll take half of my SSI check for my student loans every month too. So instead I work odd jobs and babysit and sell things online, and barely get by. 

I'm off today to try to make a little $$$ - I need to pay the friend who took us grocery shopping back for gas. So we're headed to HPB to sell a load, and maybe a few other places too. 

Gratefuls:

~Our FS was approved yesterday and hit the card last night. We did a mega shopping run with 2 stores, and I'll do another on the 1st when they come again. It feels so good to have the little things like lunch stuff and to see a full fridge again. 

~Our Medicaid is pending, but should be approved in a few days too. Just in time to refill my prescriptions :)

~the local museum has free tuesdays from 3pm onward, and a huge kids section. 

~nuride, which gives me points for riding the city bus, which we do anyways due to no car. But I can trade in those points for things like $5 off my order at the grocery {thus paying for non-FS things}, or free admission to other places. 

~the chili's coupon & GC I used last night. Thanks to a kids eat free coupon plus a $10 GC I earned doing surveys, we ate last night for just $2.25, and dd was happy even in the middle of our mega shopping run {I let her eat hers in the store}. 

~that dd is finally using the potty again at least part of the time. She has ASD & OCD, and aversions to using the potty. 

~the extra Girl Scout stuff I managed to sell online. I've been picking up Scout items at thrift shops and selling them online, but hadn't sold any in a while. 

[Wolfcat]

Originally Posted by meandk0610 

Speaking of snapping, I was just thinking about this the past few days.

I am so sick of having no money. I am so sick of having to use food stamps. I am so sick of everyone that I "know" (who doesn't know that I use food stamps) talking about the useless "takers" who are all on food stamps and not working. I am so sick of being so sick and tired that I can't work more than part-time (fibromyalgia and adrenal fatigue). My doctor had said I could probably recover from the AF in 6-12 months last May - IF I could adjust my lifestyle, get treated for my long-term PTSD, and keep taking the supplements. I can't afford the supplements.

What supplements do you take?

Originally Posted by maciascl 

Sounds like we are all in the same mind set right now. The system sucks and is set up so you can't ever get ahead. The rest of the world just sits back and complains about all the 'takers' and 'welfare queens' and I just want to scream. When you have to quit a job or turn down a job because you would actually have less than when you aren't working some thing is seriously wrong. People just don't get that and call you lazy and tell you that you just need to MAKE it work. No one gets it unless they have been there. It is very isolating.

We are actually in a weird place right now. We got a really nice tax refund and I am both relieved that I can breath for a bit, put some money aside, pay off some bills, and buy some of the things that we have really needed for awhile. However, at the same time I feel panicked that I am not squirreling away enough and want to cry every time we spend even though it is planned. It is almost like PTSD and not being able to part with money. I now understand why people were still hoarding food long after the depression. That and going back to the paragraph above, I feel guilty every time we get something. Like my kids don't deserve to have bunk beds or I shouldn't be allowed to replace my broken food processor because we are on food stamps. I feel so guilty and it sucks!

I hear that. We are doing pretty well at our house. We get the bills paid, no assistance, and we don't usually struggle to pay for food. But this last month, I maxed out my auto insurance deductible and we are flirting with a zero balance for the next week. I still feel guilty because we are setting aside a portion of our tax returns for camping gear so we can do our one long weekend vacation trip with a little more comfort and frugality (it's amazing how much it can cost to get frugal, eh?)

But, on the topic of gratitude, we can afford to take that vacation. I just wish it didn't cut so close.

[ILoveMyBabyBird]

Crap so they took away subsidized loans for graduate level, grhh this sucks! Now debating getting loans or just getting 0% cc to pay for some of my classes, not sure the interest rate atm.

upside i got 123$ more from xdh for underpaying the month the divorce was final nice little windfall I wasnt expecting.

[zebra15]

Originally Posted by ILoveMyBabyBird 

Crap so they took away subsidized loans for graduate level, grhh this sucks! Now debating getting loans or just getting 0% cc to pay for some of my classes, not sure the interest rate atm.

upside i got 123$ more from xdh for underpaying the month the divorce was final nice little windfall I wasnt expecting.

Is that just for you?  Is that for everyone?  Are you in the states?  I was seriously considering going to Gradschool but would need all the loans I could piecemeal together.   This is not NOT NOT good news.

[justmama]

Originally Posted by frugalmama 

~that dd is finally using the potty again at least part of the time. She has ASD & OCD, and aversions to using the potty. 

You were able to get her diagnosed with OCD?  She's 5?  That's really intriguing to me because I am also diagnosed OCD and my youngest daughter is 5 and displays a lot of the characteristics as well.  Makes me think someday she'll be diagnosed as well.  I displayed symptoms in early childhood as well but no one got me diagnosed until adulthood(though my parents told me they noticed the need for mental health services around puberty).  So it's surprising to me that your daughter has been diagnosed so early.  Kudos to you for being on the ball with that.  I know that the severity of my mental illness wouldn't have been like this had I been diagnosed and put on meds and in therapy so many years ago.  It spiraled out of control after my divorce.  I'm happy to say that I'm on the road to recovery now and taking it seriously though.

 So my washer bit the big one.  Just when I had made plans for a fun childless event, my washer crapped out on me.  I haven't gone out for more than a year now, and haven'tn been away from my children for anything other than their schedule overnights with their dad for several years.  And I make plans and find care overnight for them and my washer's drain pump dies.  And not only does it die, but it dies to the tune of $193.    Needless to say I'm now unable to afford this fun childless event I had planned.  Thankfully I was able to diagnose it and fix it myself but the part itself cost $193.  Apparently there's no cheaper way to fix it.  You have to replace the entire pump assembly instead of a single part of it.  And of course it died while hte washer was full of dirty laundry and it was laundry day.  My basement ended up being flooded with a good 10gallons of water when all was said and done.  BUT it's fixed now and my bank account is once again feeling quite light.  Just sad I guess.  I was looking forward to this weekend.

Gratefuls:

-youtube videos for washing machine repair

-sales on cookies at the grocery store 

-Downton Abbey episodes on showsday.com for free

-my parents are still taking my girls overnight tomorrow night so maybe I'll come up with something good to do for cheap

-the food processor my parents got me for Christmas made making my favorite veggie burgers not only super easy but MUCH more delicious compared to half-ass'ing it in my old tired blender

[ILoveMyBabyBird]

We can still get unsubsidized loans which will acrue interest while in college, this is.only for grad classes believe. I read it went into.affect in 2011.

[ILoveMyBabyBird]

http://www.cardozojurist.com/2012/02/grad-students-say-goodbye-to-subsidized-federal-student-loans-in-2012/

[happyhats]

I feel badly coming here and venting because others here have it worse than myself. We have been on every kind of assistance jn the past and barely keeping ahead. Now the only aid we may be getting is state discounted insurance for our children, and we will be oaying a premium. I know that we are truly blessed in so many ways, but right now Im feeling down. I seriously need some dental care. I have a wisdom tooth that has sprung a massive cavity and my inner cheek is sore and slightly swelling. We hve dental insurance but its not great. We do have some extra money right now, but I was so happy to start an emergency gund and throw a little at iur car payments. Now we will probably not be able to pay extra in the car at all. And needing this care nmeans hubby will need to stay home to take me to the dentist, help me if I need pain meds, etc. He has vacation time but itnputs the nail in the coffin for him accepting a new job offer. He was probably going to decline it for other reasons but I feel at fault. I am someone that feels like I've failed when I get sick, I'm worried that the dentist will judge me for my ucky teeth, etc.

My dd is only 4 but since I have chosen to homeschool I am feeling bad she doesn't have any curriculum or a lot of learning aids. I haven't gotten a printer yet but we will be getting that soon at least, and a hand me down pc to link educational games on. I have a small tablet so its hard to guide small, busy hands on.

We are giving up cable. My choicem but I will miss it. I feel like a brat for missing it, and for getting a roky even though its liads cheaper.

Again, sirry this is such a whine. I just love all the support on this thread.

[micah_mae_]

Originally Posted by happyhats 

I feel badly coming here and venting because others here have it worse than myself. We have been on every kind of assistance jn the past and barely keeping ahead. Now the only aid we may be getting is state discounted insurance for our children, and we will be oaying a premium. I know that we are truly blessed in so many ways, but right now Im feeling down. I seriously need some dental care. I have a wisdom tooth that has sprung a massive cavity and my inner cheek is sore and slightly swelling. We hve dental insurance but its not great. We do have some extra money right now, but I was so happy to start an emergency gund and throw a little at iur car payments. Now we will probably not be able to pay extra in the car at all. And needing this care nmeans hubby will need to stay home to take me to the dentist, help me if I need pain meds, etc. He has vacation time but itnputs the nail in the coffin for him accepting a new job offer. He was probably going to decline it for other reasons but I feel at fault. I am someone that feels like I've failed when I get sick, I'm worried that the dentist will judge me for my ucky teeth, etc.

My dd is only 4 but since I have chosen to homeschool I am feeling bad she doesn't have any curriculum or a lot of learning aids. I haven't gotten a printer yet but we will be getting that soon at least, and a hand me down pc to link educational games on. I have a small tablet so its hard to guide small, busy hands on.

We are giving up cable. My choicem but I will miss it. I feel like a brat for missing it, and for getting a roky even though its liads cheaper.

Again, sirry this is such a whine. I just love all the support on this thread.

v

My wisdom teeth. Sigh. Last year I had to have them removed. I had all 4 horizontal impacted. The actual surgery and recovery aside, it is so much better having them out and not having to worry about it. It cost us almost a grand up front even with insurance. It sucked.

Can your dd do starfall on your tablet? My 4yo loves it.

[frugalmama]

Originally Posted by happyhats 

I feel badly coming here and venting because others here have it worse than myself. We have been on every kind of assistance jn the past and barely keeping ahead. Now the only aid we may be getting is state discounted insurance for our children, and we will be oaying a premium. I know that we are truly blessed in so many ways, but right now Im feeling down. I seriously need some dental care. I have a wisdom tooth that has sprung a massive cavity and my inner cheek is sore and slightly swelling. We hve dental insurance but its not great. We do have some extra money right now, but I was so happy to start an emergency gund and throw a little at iur car payments. Now we will probably not be able to pay extra in the car at all. And needing this care nmeans hubby will need to stay home to take me to the dentist, help me if I need pain meds, etc. He has vacation time but itnputs the nail in the coffin for him accepting a new job offer. He was probably going to decline it for other reasons but I feel at fault. I am someone that feels like I've failed when I get sick, I'm worried that the dentist will judge me for my ucky teeth, etc.

My dd is only 4 but since I have chosen to homeschool I am feeling bad she doesn't have any curriculum or a lot of learning aids. I haven't gotten a printer yet but we will be getting that soon at least, and a hand me down pc to link educational games on. I have a small tablet so its hard to guide small, busy hands on.

We are giving up cable. My choicem but I will miss it. I feel like a brat for missing it, and for getting a roky even though its liads cheaper.

Again, sirry this is such a whine. I just love all the support on this thread.

*Hug* Health issues happen to everyone. 

As for the homeschooling - you could put a request in to The Book Samaritan for materials for her. That's what we do a lot. Or get them through PaperbackSwap or at thrift shops. 

Originally Posted by justmama 
You were able to get her diagnosed with OCD?  She's 5?  That's really intriguing to me because I am also diagnosed OCD and my youngest daughter is 5 and displays a lot of the characteristics as well.  Makes me think someday she'll be diagnosed as well.  I displayed symptoms in early childhood as well but no one got me diagnosed until adulthood(though my parents told me they noticed the need for mental health services around puberty).  So it's surprising to me that your daughter has been diagnosed so early.  Kudos to you for being on the ball with that.  I know that the severity of my mental illness wouldn't have been like this had I been diagnosed and put on meds and in therapy so many years ago.  It spiraled out of control after my divorce.  I'm happy to say that I'm on the road to recovery now and taking it seriously though.

 So my washer bit the big one.  

I really need to update my signature - she is 6.5 now. We have a presumptive diagnosis, but they don't want to put anything on paper until she is older and we can better tell what is the ASD and what is actually OCD. She has been showing symptoms of the OCD since she was about 18 months old. Thankfully unless she gets stressed it's pretty mild and doesn't require medication. Sorry about your washer ~ we are babying ours as I'm pretty sure it's going downhill fast. Somehow in the move it got out of alignment really badly and had to be put back, and it's never been the same since. 

I'm up at the crack of dawn because I can't sleep - I just have the feeling something is going to go bad. I've been listing stuff online to try to raise funds to pay the electric bill, and at 7:45am I have to try calling a city agency to get help with the electric and water bills. Hopefully today they will answer, as I've been calling them since Tuesday with no luck. If not then I've got to start the long list of places to get a little paid on the bill - seems everywhere here only pays $25 or so of your bill, and that only when you have a disconnect notice. Not a lot of help when it's $613 and $145 respectively, and it costs you $5 on the bus just to get there and back. I thought we were going to be okay on the bills when we moved, but then they stuck us with a new $200 deposit on the electric and $100 on the water even though I've been a customer for nearly 10 years. And nobody will help with deposits here unless you are homeless moving into an apartment.

Gratefuls:

~DD. She has been so good through all this stress lately, even giving up the little things like going to McDonalds to help save money. 

~FS - seriously it's a huge load of stress off to not have to worry about buying food. 

~My bathtub. I had planned on taking the tub out here at my new house, but yesterday while giving dd a bath I realized it was big enough for ME to take one too. I had a nice long sit and soak last night until the water was cold :) I am rethinking taking out the tub. 

~Our local thrift shop. We get nearly everything non-food from there, and it is a huge blessing. I even have been finding dd's pullups there {she can wear the medical ones} which has been a huge help to the budget. 

[happyhats]

Thanks for the well wishes everyone. I feel better today, both emotionally and my tooth. I did some cooking and cleaning today, picked up the house, and lookedup the manual forba gread machine I picked up at goodwill. Im hoping to do some yoga with the kiddoes later!

As far as my dd I was beating myself up because I wanted to buy curriculum this year with tax returns but I couldn't really afford to. We do dry erase workbooks, watch educational shows, and do flash cards as there is interest. We occasionally do starfall on the tablet, but my 2yr old ds also wants to join in, and the two of them fighting over a small screen is chaos. The hand me down pc is coming from my sister because she's getting a laptop. At that point I plan on also getting aprinter and we will be set for a while.

I hope you had luck getting help today, frugalmama. Sending so many vibes to everyone here.

My gratefuls-
Nice handmedowns from my sister for me, and my sil for the children
My hubby is being awesome
My hubby is getting a raise, and his current job sat down with him and worked out his grievances because they want him to stay!
The kids health insurance is almost worked out, and we will either have to pay nothing or very little!

[ILoveMyBabyBird]

Ugh teeth mine are in need of work. I am paying 38 a month for insurance but since I am not in pain I am putting that off. I need 2 crowns for sure, my temp filling is turning colors but it is my back tooth. It will be the first thing I do once my cc is paid off.

[happyhats]

Yeah, Im sure I need a fair bit of dental work. The wisdom tooth will go, I think my other molar has a deep cavity now, and I have a tooth that broke off a year ago but still has roots attached. I don't know what all I can afford quite yet. On the plus side, I have been paying much more attention to my nutritionand taking vitamins which has helped my overall health. Im not as achey or fatigued, my gums have improved (I'm also using all natural toothpaste again) m I don't have infections with my lost tooth anymore-I was homeless when I got my first absess, talk about a hopeless feeling. I'm currently taking mag, coq10, d3, and a muktivitamin. Of course I'm not taking the highest grades or anything, Im new to supplements and Im here. Our diet is constantly improving as well, though I don't think I will ever be perfect. I suppose that is something that frustrates me-my hubby is making better money than before but after taxes, bill, food, and having to huy a car we still have about the same tight budget. I still can't move to a nicer appt.or eat all organic or buy fclo for the family. Forget educational vacations or curriculum, etc either. We are doing better but we still struggle but since we are doing better on paper I tend to blame myself if that majes sense.

[zebra15]

I'm sick today.  Been sick since Sunday.  Thankful for state insurance.  So far I've been to urgent care )got 3 Rx) and today to my PCP ( 3 more Rx)   DX,  migraine with sinus infection.  Yes a migraine since SUNDAY.  I feel like my head is going to explode.  Seeing colors, dizzy and everything.  It hurts to take a shower, the water hurts.  Air hurts.  OMG... I've had migranes before but never ever like this.  2 hrs after the matrix I feel so much better.  

Of course I've missed 2 days of work and since its also a sinus infection that means no work tomorrow.  but at least the state insurance pays for medical right now.  I can not imagine having OOP or co-pays on all this.

My eye has finally stopped throbbing.

hugs to everyone

[happyhats]

Hugs, zebra. Im so glad you are able to receive care. I need to fill out some crazy forms for dc state aid. Then hopefully they will be insured once more.

Hubby got a raise, but now that the student loans are due he will only really bring an extra 40 a month home. Thats only one of his two loans too, bummer. He also needed to pay supposed late payments so they wouldn't default, so that came out of savings.

On the plus side my teeth are no longer aching and Im looking at all natural solutions. The dentist is still probably in my future, but it feels good to be able to take control of something, right?

Im off to make bread with the kids and attempt some yoga.

[mamarhu]

Oh, Zebra, I hope you feel better real soon!

On the subject of teeth, I had thought I would finally get to the dentist (it's been 15 years! The last time I went, I had YoungSon, now 16, sleeping on my chest and nursing while my tooth was pulled. Single mother stories...) Anyway, I now have dental insurance, pays 70%, and I made an appointment for March 11th. Thought I would pay for my part of this with my tax refund. But alas. The student loan folks finally caught up with me. No refund for this girl, not this year, not forever if something doesn't change. Like winning the lottery :). Dd also needs glasses (no insurance), and I thought I would repair or maybe even replace my car. Nope.

I wouldn't mind paying off my student loans - I do feel responsible and don't deny my obligation. But even with the coveted college degree, I make way less than the poverty level. I just can't do it. It sure is discouraging, to be playing the game by all the rules, and still not making it. For many years, I lived way off the grid. I mean totally outside the mainstream. For a while, I didn't even have a social security number or legal, registered name! Long story. But, about 15  years ago, I decided to buy into the "system" - and I am really not making it. I had a mild sort of existential crisis the other day, and I am not 100% certain that I am not just about ready to give up. I feel an obligation to my Mom, 94 years old, and my 2 youngest Dumplings, 16 & 17, but I am not convinced that this is the best way to support them. I imagine I will hold on for a few more years, mainly because Mom is getting less and less portable. But I am seriously ready to bow out. Thanks, but no thanks. I decline to participate. No idea what I would do instead - I have lived on a sailboat in the Caribbean, in a couple different developing countries, on a farm in Southern France, on a commune in Northern California, in rural Georgia, on an island in the Puget Sound, followed the craft fair circuit, I don't remember what all else. I have worked in bookstores, had home businesses making Hawaiian print baby clothes and cloth diapers, done tattooing, raising and selling baby parrots, been a therapeutic level foster parent, made custom leather clothing for rock bands and Hells Angels, and worked as an advocate for children in the mental health system. I don't want to try to repeat any of those experiences. I have no idea what I will do next, but I  think I may be very close to starting over. Yet again.

It seems truly unfair that our economy isn't set up that a typical, full-time job doesn't bring in enough to support a family.
 

[zebra15]

Rhu- I understand where you are coming from.  I so want to 'back' to school again. I feel a pull towards an MFA.  For me its close enough to a counseling degree in some aspects but its NOT a therapy degree.  Writing and expressing is its own form of therapy but OMG, more loans?  I can't even pay the ones I have from my ill-fated teaching degree.  However the MFA and my teaching certificate might allow me to teach at some point.  LOL (and I don't want to teach kids).  

I'm going to be 39 years old. I can't afford health insurance, I can't afford to buy groceries with out the gov't dime,  I think I'm sick all the time from the added stress.  And for pete's sake I need to heal my inner self so I can get out of therapy.

I'm sorry to be so cranky I have a migraine that is going on day 4??  I'm still seeing colors and spots.  Like a horrible acid trip right now.  I feel like I belong in the Er but I've been there so much this year I just dont' want to go back either.  I want someone to take care of me.

[happyhats]

Aww, zebra, I wish I was there for you. I hope things look up soon.

Rhu, you are speaking my language! Take me with you!

I have such distrust for the medical establishment because its so costly and hard to get the help you need when you need it. Im worried about judgement but on the other hand its like, if you really want to help me your first concern shouldn't be how I will pay. Logically I know its not so cut and dry, but I'm pmsing and just feeling extra angry about everyones problems on here, lol.

[justmama]

Originally Posted by mamarhu 

Oh, Zebra, I hope you feel better real soon!

On the subject of teeth, I had thought I would finally get to the dentist (it's been 15 years! The last time I went, I had YoungSon, now 16, sleeping on my chest and nursing while my tooth was pulled. Single mother stories...) Anyway, I now have dental insurance, pays 70%, and I made an appointment for March 11th. Thought I would pay for my part of this with my tax refund. But alas. The student loan folks finally caught up with me. No refund for this girl, not this year, not forever if something doesn't change. Like winning the lottery :). Dd also needs glasses (no insurance), and I thought I would repair or maybe even replace my car. Nope.

I wouldn't mind paying off my student loans - I do feel responsible and don't deny my obligation. But even with the coveted college degree, I make way less than the poverty level. I just can't do it. It sure is discouraging, to be playing the game by all the rules, and still not making it. For many years, I lived way off the grid. I mean totally outside the mainstream. For a while, I didn't even have a social security number or legal, registered name! Long story. But, about 15  years ago, I decided to buy into the "system" - and I am really not making it. I had a mild sort of existential crisis the other day, and I am not 100% certain that I am not just about ready to give up. I feel an obligation to my Mom, 94 years old, and my 2 youngest Dumplings, 16 & 17, but I am not convinced that this is the best way to support them. I imagine I will hold on for a few more years, mainly because Mom is getting less and less portable. But I am seriously ready to bow out. Thanks, but no thanks. I decline to participate. No idea what I would do instead - I have lived on a sailboat in the Caribbean, in a couple different developing countries, on a farm in Southern France, on a commune in Northern California, in rural Georgia, on an island in the Puget Sound, followed the craft fair circuit, I don't remember what all else. I have worked in bookstores, had home businesses making Hawaiian print baby clothes and cloth diapers, done tattooing, raising and selling baby parrots, been a therapeutic level foster parent, made custom leather clothing for rock bands and Hells Angels, and worked as an advocate for children in the mental health system. I don't want to try to repeat any of those experiences. I have no idea what I will do next, but I  think I may be very close to starting over. Yet again.

It seems truly unfair that our economy isn't set up that a typical, full-time job doesn't bring in enough to support a family.
 

You are officially now on my list of mom-crushes.    I have this dream of taking my kids and just travelling the world picking up odd jobs here and there and living off the barest minimum possible and not contributing to the rat race.  I have become so disillusioned by society over the last 10years.  I don't even want to be a part of it anymore.  I know I know, I get by on food stamps and heating assistance and without "society" I'd be screwed.  But honestly, with the ability to travel and set up a shack on the beach somewhere, my money would go a LOT farther than living a "normal" Americanized life.  

I'm feeling a bit down lately.  Recently I was driving in the more rural areas of my state with someone and looking at all these teeny little simple homes heating with woodstoves with kids and dogs and chickens roaming around and thinking to myself how much I hated my life living in the ghetto sharing a yard and house with another family and feeling poor.  I hate my house so much. It makes me so down that I can't give my kids room to play in the woods and have a dog and a simple life.  I feel so "dependent."