Thinking of taking DS out of school

[tm0sweet]

He's almost 4 and is in his second year of preschool. He is developmentally disabled and has sensory issues, mostly sensory seeking. I also suspect there might be some issues with attachment disorder based on behavior and his early life.

Ever since he started school last year it's been one issue after another. His behavior at home is HORRIBLE when he is in school. He is extremely grouchy, aggressive and generally lacks any self regulation. They see some of these issues in school but say that over all he is very happy and seems to love being there. I have to fight to get him ready for school and on the bus every day and he's a grouch as soon as he gets off the bus in the afternoon.

Since we've been on winter break I've noticed a complete difference in him and his private therapists have also mentioned his behavior being better while he's with them. We have an IEP meeting next week so I plan on addressing some of my concerns then, but I'm feeling really conflicted about sending him back to school. He has been so happy and pleasant to be around. When I asked if he missed school he told me no, that he likes being home with me. But I also feel like the peer interaction at school is so good for him, and being 100% honest, I appreciate the break from my high needs child.

So if you made it through all that, I'd love any insight on this situation TIA

[aljmom2]

Yes, take him out. Try a smaller school with lower student/teacher ratio. Here's our abbreviated story: my son went to a highly acclaimed neighborhood church's moms-day-out starting at 18m-2 yrs (like my older daughter). He did great, so, next year, of course, we brought him back. But, even before the first week was over, I pulled him out. I realized this new set of teachers were screwing-up and not giving the children water! Luckily, it was only for 4 hrs. I submitted the most cordial nasty-gram to the school's director (it must be done). I found a very posh private school the following week. Paid for uniforms and thought this place was a wonderland for young children. My poor lil guy suffered a good 3 months because of my stupidity. At this time, I didn't realize he might be on the spectrum. This place was OVERLOAD to all his senses. He stayed glued to one care-taker that would have him attached. Otherwise, he was alone and scared. He cried when I sent him in, sometimes he went quietly, but, he doesn't talk, so what was he to do? He gave up on me. He was always super happy at pick-up/rescue time. I finally put 2 + 2 together, ah. So, we ended up in a very small church setting with an exceptionally low teacher/student ratio of 3:1. This was where we stayed until the spring session ended and where I was told that my son was different and the school does not have the proper resources to "teach" him next year. They will not be accepting him back. Ok, mind you, like you, I just wanted some friends for my little man and a couple hours to myself. This info took the air out of me, but, somehow, I knew "something" was amiss too. I worked and researched and am STILL pending information, test results from the professionals...however, we have come to accept whatever is to come. He currently attends a speech therapy school and he really LOVES it. He just turned 4. He talks a bit more, but, his smiles and happiness speaks volumes to how he feels when I drop him off and pick him up...all via carpool. He walks in by himself! Not one day of tears nor crying. Just NOT upset/sad at ALL. I still don't fully trust any institution, but, he's getting some social time with some fellow kiddos and grown-ups. I sit for 3 hours daily thinking if I'm doing the right thing, speaking with doctors, surfing the Internet for more clues as to what to expect. Currently, we still have no friends, but, he has me (and dad, sister). Mostly me. I protect him, indulge him in what he likes to do, feed him healthy, simple foods, love on him all the time, take him out. Then, when his big sis comes home, my attention has got to instantaneously divide like magic
Please change what is making him sad. There are alternatives. You are his hero. I am so beaten at the end of my day, the love makes it all worth while.