Lots of our kids must be sleeping poorly lately.
Sora has been sick, teething, AND now I think going through a growth spurt at the same time. She has been crying this horribly sad intense painful cry even while I rock her. Poor girl. I started thinking growth spurt because she suddenly looks way taller and filled out to me. I can't stop commenting on it. She looks nothing like a baby anymore. When I pick her up, I'm lugging around a big kid with long dangly legs! Makes me a tad sad.
I haven't slept well for several days in a row for the past 6.5 years. I am a totally different person than I was before I had kids. I know that much of that has to do with becoming a parent, but a good chunk of it has to do with getting zero restorative sleep for years. YEARS. They say being a parent shortens your life expectancy. I believe it. It's not just stress or worry about your kids. It's total lack of sleep while the kids are little. I've been sick about 8 times a year since having Avalon. I get depressed during the winter b/c I know that I will be dealing with illness every 2 weeks from October until March. Throw in some teeth and some milestones like walking and that's a recipe for waking up every hour for weeks and weeks. My in-laws wonder why I flat out refuse to travel home in the winter. It's b/c I know I will literally go insane. Dh wonders why I'm so grumpy, why I have no interest in DTD, and why I go to bed as soon as Avery falls asleep. All I can do is look at him through glazed, sleep deprived eyes. Seriously? I just tell myself that I've got about another year to go and things are bound to improve for good. One more horrid winter to get through...
Long post short: I can commiserate. Not sleeping sucks.
Hahaha Katie, nope, I cried EVERY night I got up with Eli in that stretch where he slept like crap :) I was just so exhausted...
I could use a nap right about now 
but Eli is bouncing up and down with energy and my hubby is due home soon (dh has been up since 5am) so I am sure he could use a nap. The odds of all of us napping at the same time? ZERO. Eli has a 'daddy sensor' if I put him down before DH comes home, he will wake up the second he walks through the door, no matter how quiet DH is when he gets home. It is cute really. That and the dancing Eli has been doing ... he holds onto the coffee table and tries to dance lol ... quite something to see, I should film it sometime soon! He also blows kisses and gives hugs :):) I was baking cranberry/orange muffins and Eli was in the highchair, when I looked over at him he was blowing me kisses :) melts my heart every.single.time!
Eli is definitely talking more, or trying anyways. My favourite is when he eats and is done he says: "Guu(d) Yah" and he nods his head enthusiastically and then says "Do(ne)". He also understands a lot more which is great. I can ask him to bring me his cup/toothbrush etc and he will run off, find it and bring it.
I'm sorry, Jaimee, that is so difficult. 
I always wanted a big family but I am concerned that my health won't be able to take all of the hits that I know it will with several young children to care for... It's hard for me to imagine that I may not have all of the children I dreamed of having. Even one more child terrifies me after the way Sora's infancy was for me. Toddlerhood sure has brought with it a whole new world of challenges. I'm thinking that the only way I could have more children is if I spaced them out a minimum of 3 years, but then I can't even fathom caring for an infant while taking care of the rest of my existing family too. And then do I want to be in the endless phase of taking care of a young child if I space them out that much? I do.not.function.at.all.on.little.sleep. Period. When DH was in Vegas last week, I was creeping into a major depressive episode within mere days and panicking at night. Coupled with seasonal affective disorder, life has had a lot of downs lately and will continue to for the next few months at least. Wisconsin weather sucks (did I mention we're in the negatives right now? 
). *sigh*
Chiming in-poor sleep here too. I hope it gets better for all of us! It's been a really rough weekend (I fell and sprained my wrist while holding J-he wasn't hurt thank goodness and I had a death in the family).
We just got back from the pediatrician where we learned that J has yet another ear infection and has conjunctivitis as well. She prescribed another round of antibiotics plus some eye drops and started talking about some procedure where they drain the fluid off or ear tubes. That really scared me. I fee just awful, this is his 4th round of antibiotics/3rd ear infection. So time to make some drastic changes.
First to go should be dairy, right? I wish I would have done this sooner.
Any suggestions would be welcomed.
Re: sleeping. I seriously don't know what to do anymore. Anytime I lay down at night, something keeps me up. I've given up time with hubby so I can TRY to sleep. I get an hour at night and 2-3 hours in the early early evening. I now have anxiety about SLEEPING. *sigh*
Hugs to everyone on the sleep! Seriously!! I had to sit dh down multiple times and dramatically explain why I couldn't function without sleep. Like, "If I don't get some sleep, I am going to have a nervous breakdown and end up in the hospital and you will have to take care of all of the kids alone." And I wasn't kidding. Lucky for me (but it shouldn't be lucky- it should be freaking standard issue!!) he started helping. He puts J to sleep every night. If I need extra sleep, he gets up with J on the weekends and lets me sleep. Same for if I need an occasional afternoon nap. (I'm up several times a night still, and nursing all night). And, if things are really bad, he'll get up and walk J around the bedroom in the middle of the night. I don't take advantage- I take the sleep I need. And, if I'm feeling rested, I return the favor.
Buuuut... I think this correlated with my going back to work. I feel the standard dh party line is that if you are just SAHMing, your sleep isn't as important. And that sucks. Big time. I am willing to beat up any partners who need to be providing nap times to tired moms.
jhsmama, sorry about the ears! I hope he heels soon. Excellent advice from Ash.
Speaking of ear infections, Jasper still isn't better. I took him in Friday morning, he got abx for the ear infections, seemed better Saturday, but then sick again Sunday. He's been off and on since then, and then seemed worse than ever tonight. What is going on?! I'm thinking maybe he does have a bit of flu on top of the ear thing? I'm not used to the getting better then worse thing. I'm wondering if I need to take him back to the doctor...
How long does it typically take to adjust when coming off caffiene? Good luck with that!
I think you may be right. My medication hasn't been keeping me consistently stable. I have an appt coming up in February, so I'll bring it up then.
Seriously, I haven't seen this much lack of sleep in newborn AP parents! This is nuts! I actually wonder if I should night wean and maybe this will help him sleep more at night.
I'm sorry, Jaimee, that is so difficult. I always wanted a big family but I am concerned that my health won't be able to take all of the hits that I know it will with several young children to care for... It's hard for me to imagine that I may not have all of the children I dreamed of having. Even one more child terrifies me after the way Sora's infancy was for me. Toddlerhood sure has brought with it a whole new world of challenges. I'm thinking that the only way I could have more children is if I spaced them out a minimum of 3 years, but then I can't even fathom caring for an infant while taking care of the rest of my existing family too. And then do I want to be in the endless phase of taking care of a young child if I space them out that much? I do.not.function.at.all.on.little.sleep. Period. When DH was in Vegas last week, I was creeping into a major depressive episode within mere days and panicking at night. Coupled with seasonal affective disorder, life has had a lot of downs lately and will continue to for the next few months at least. Wisconsin weather sucks (did I mention we're in the negatives right now? ). *sigh*
Thanks, Joanie. It is a tough decision, but I was ready to have another when Avalon turned two. Things really changed for us then. And, Sara is right that having two kids is easier in some ways than only having one. But you do have to get through that difficult infancy part first. Avalon and Austin are 3 years apart and it would have been easier, I think, if they were 4 years. At 3, when Austin was born, she wasn't capable of being terribly helpful and she couldn't be trusted around the baby- she would often hurt him. She was just beginning to be more independent, though, and I know if they had been spaced a bit further many of our issues would have been alleviated. My sister and I are 4 years apart and my parents said it was always a great spacing. But you're right, you'd be resetting your clock to that newborn phase over and over again for a long time if you kept having kids. I'm very much looking forward to getting out of this phase and soon.
For us, one of the biggest problems is the fact that Austin was still getting up 2+ times a night when Avery was born. So when you combine those wake ups with a newborn's it's tough- especially when parenting solo, which I had to do on several occasions. Austin is sleeping better now, though he does still wake up sometimes. Dh is on Austin and Avalon duty while I'm on Avery duty at night. Sometimes dh gets the short end of the stick if the olders are sick. But my stick is definitely shorter the majority of the time!
Originally Posted by jhsmama11
So time to make some drastic changes.
First to go should be dairy, right? I wish I would have done this sooner.
Any suggestions would be welcomed.
Yes, I would try an elimination diet and see if it helps. Dairy is often the culprit when it comes to secretions/fluids. Good luck!
Oh, I'm not panicking about sleep. I just don't get any sleep. It's the way it's been for such a long time, I don't ever expect it to be different.
Yes. I nightweaned Austin and we still bedshared for many months after that. He was incredibly easy to nightwean. I think this was for two reasons. One, my milk supply was diminishing quickly due to pregnancy and two, he sucked his thumb. We had already gotten in the habit of me popping him off and him inserting his thumb instead. So it was natural for him to use his thumb as a substitute when I stopped offering the breast. His temperament is more easy going as well, so that aided in this transition, too, I'm sure. We didn't have any issues in terms of wanting to nurse after night weaning while still bedsharing. BUT....
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Seriously, I haven't seen this much lack of sleep in newborn AP parents! This is nuts! I actually wonder if I should night wean and maybe this will help him sleep more at night.
.... night weaning did NOT stop his night waking. Not even a little. For some kids night weaning really works or at least helps. For others, it does nothing except take away the easiest way to get them back to sleep. I do plan on night weaning in the not so distant future, but not until canines and molars are in and the massive developmental changes that tend to happen around 18 months have passed. There is a general recommendation within the AP community of not trying to night wean until 18 months+ and I think these are the big reasons. You might work really, really hard at night weaning gently only to be totally sabotaged by teeth and milestones (not to mention illness this time of year) and end up back at square one. But then again, my two night weaning experiences might have been extremely different b/c of my kids' ages... Avalon was 18 months when I started vs. Austin at 16 months. Maybe it's easier when they are younger? Kind of like potty training, there's a window of time where it's more difficult, but is easier before and after? Who knows... in the end, I think every kid and situation is different and there is no way to predict how it will go or how it will change their sleep patterns. But one thing I do remember from my experience with Avalon was that I felt good about doing something, trying to solve the sleep problem in an active way instead of just wallowing in my crazed, sleep deprived state. So there is that to consider, too.
And, when I was in Texas, where I was part of a huge and active AP community, I distinctly recall this period in our children's lives was dominated by lack of sleep. Every playgroup, every discussion was about sleep and teeth, sleep and milestones, sleep and illness. We were all at the ends of our ropes. Most of us decided to night wean around the same time, too, and we all went through that together. I think for the majority of kids that are parented this way, sleep is very challenging until the 2-3 year mark. My dh often says, this is why most people treat sleep differently (i.e. CIO) and he just doesn't get why if this is the way kids were meant to be parented why it doesn't work better. I just keep coming back to the reality that we don't live in villages anymore. We all wouldn't be so crazed about lack of night time sleep if we were better supported during the day. AP really needs a village. I'm so thankful for the emotional support our little DDC village provides, but the IRL physical support is necessary, too, and most of us don't get it.
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