Dingos Run Walk Dance Box Pose bike and Swim into 2013 - Page 14

[Mel38]

Originally Posted by JayGee 

NRR - DH is talking about looking for a new job. The Air Force will likely be furloughing all civilian employees in the next 3 months. That means NO pay for as long as the furlough lasts. Honestly, I hope he gets something and we can move. I can't even tell you how many times a day the thought, "We gotta get out of here!" crosses my mind! I'd love to move further east, toward "home". We'll see what happens.

When do you find out, and how long do those furloughs last? My mother works for a government agency and just started a mandatory 2 week furlough, but she's ecstatic about it. No bills, no mouths to feed, no mortgage... yeah, I'd be ecstatic, too. Otherwise, it just sounds scary.

[Runningmommy]

Plady- any news on the gallbladder? Hope the scan itself was easy.

NRR: it's verbal comments that he makes when no one else can hear. The reasons to tell dh are that I don't want him to think I'm hiding anything, 2-because he is my best friend with whom I tell everything to, 3- because he has good insite on how to handle work stuff because he is a manager. Sigh. What to do?!

school took us 5 straight hours at the computer, which amazes me since we switched ds1 to a non-stimulant ADHD medicine that doesn't help with the concentration as well. He rocked out two long tests, 2 huge quizzes, and two lessons over that time. With all a's and B's!!

RR: ran 6, 3 from today, then three from yesterday. It took until mile 4 to feel in the groove. Looking. Forward to speed work tomorrow.

[MelW]

RM, I would address it with your boss directly. If he's being playful and just flirting for the fun of it, he should respond well to a calm, casual request to tone it down and keep things more professional. I've had flirtatious friendships before where it was fun to a point and then needed to put some brakes on, and am all about the honesty. Just ask the friend who I sought clarification from by emailing: "Are we really friends, or am I just jack off fodder?" I'd be more delicate with a boss, but think that directness is helpful. I'm also very open and honest with my husband about any flirtation or tension, etc, but think that timing is important. My strategy would be to deal with the boss, then let hubby know. YMMV.

I hadn't realized how much my kids have been missing down time at home lately. They have been playing upstairs for two hours while I made a ton of meals for the week and started organizing the garage. More weekend days at home are in order, I think.

[loftmama]

RM, can you just say, "Hey dude, this is crossing a boundary for me. It's not personal, but I like my space/distance/not touching." or "Okay, I just want you to know I'm not comfortable with that joke/comment/line." Then, if you have a close friend, you could talk to her about it so there's one other person with whom you've discussed it. Me? I probably wouldn't mention it to my dh. For one thing, mine would definitely get upset about it in a territorial way and I just wouldn't want that energy in my workspace. For another, it would forever alter how my dh was with that person possibly making it difficult to continue to work there. If it seems harmless, put him in his place. If it progresses, then maybe ask dh to step in? I don't know. I don't feel like I should tell my dh everything so I may not have any good advice for ya. What does your gut tell you? I'm all about the gut.

Plady, how was that u/s? How are you feeling?

MelW, homeschooling at home. Novel idea!

I find the talk about becoming excellent at something fascinating. Mostly I feel like my kids just need to have fun at this age and become excellent later. But then I recall reading something about how Americans have sort of a cult-obsession with Average. Like try everything. Be good at everything. And then no one is good at any one thing. Then I start questioning my own philosophy.

Sparkle, your dd1 reminds me of my ds1. He's so not competitive. It's just not his nature. And I'm all... let's compete! It's fun. You'll love it! And it's just me pushing. I think my second son may have that in his personality but I really struggle with just how content my first child is to not compete. But then I remember when I was I high school. My 2 best friends were so competitive for valedictorian that it made my friendship with each of them difficult. Plus, my mom was valedictorian of high school and college and all that pressure just felt like too much. I used the bickering friends' as my excuse to settle for somewhere near the top. Which is just laziness and complacency on my part. But, gosh darn, I was happy. And they didn't seem to ever be happy. Really love your dh's quote. You make me laugh at your description of yourselves.

RR: Ran today for the first time in weeks! I was afraid it would be terrible but it was actually fun. I kicked it and felt so strong. Thankfully I didn't time myself so I can't know just how slow I really was. But seriously, I had a great beautiful run with the dog.

NRR: Writing a ton. Just tons. Entering a memoir piece and a fiction piece in two competitions this week. Gave each of my kids a blank sheet of paper and told them to pick 3. Basically, I wrote Monday at the top and listed 1, 2, & 3. They had to pick 3 main subjects they'd work on for the day and I'd check them later. On the other side, I wrote 3 responsibilities: Music, Assigned Reading & Chores. But I had to write, could not teach but would get with them later. So far, so good. They both chose Math, History & Logic and then I went over their work with them after dinner. Tomorrow, I will do the same but since they didn't do their chores they'll have to double up. Oh well. Everything else went pretty well for an auto-pilot homeschool day for 9 & 12. At least it's a step in the direction of my dream.
Edited by loftmama - 1/28/13 at 9:21pm

[1jooj]

JayGee, maybe this IS the cosmic butt-kick and your whispered "get outta here" prayers will soon be answered. I hope it can all go down smoothly and without scary pain.

MelW, that Paleo Mom is pretty wow to read. I used to have gallbladder issues back when I was very large and also young. I wonder what my triglycerides were back then when I ate like a fool...Anyway, I am also very wowed that your dd is getting relief with Chinese medicine, and have mentioned it to another mama looking for asthma alternatives.

RM, I would likely respond with a look rather than words at first. I have a very expressive face and use it often with other people's kids, to communicate my displeasure and disapproval without confronting their parents by dealing verbally.  In my case, the face says it all. One comment over the line, I would shoot a look that says, "Oh, please," and the reaction would likely defuse things pretty fast.

I have the same thoughts about my kids and passions. They seem to have none right now, besides Lego and Minecraft. Dd has a theoretical horseback riding passion, which we can't afford to indulge here, and ds...just no fire, ever. Maybe he'll develop a passion for Zen practice or something.  I some days feel like we're missing a boat, but I'm self-centered enough to get over it fast enough.

Lofty, so glad you are writing! After I threw a little tantrum yesterday about mine, I sat down and pounded out a couple thousand words...am in the middle now, so I just have to keep slogging. A 100,000 to 120,000 word project is, for me, harder than marathon training ever was. Doesn't make sense, but it is so.

I have been writing their schedules on white boards in the mornings, and it's up to them to complete. They are making goal, in general. But why do we have to start with this 9yo girl and almost-12yo boy BS? I want to walk out most of the time, rather than deal with sullen and b!tc#y.

RR: Biked yesterday, and today we will bike down the Corniche, lock the bikes and walk to our tutor's house for Quranic reading class.

[loftmama]

Wow, Jo. You are miles ahead of me in writing. I feel like I'm writing so much but it's not close to a couple thousand words. You give me something to look forward to. Sorry about the 9 & 12 yo bs. Hope it passes. I've read that for every year a kid is in school they need a year off to de--compress? no. de- something... not sure. (There's a book about the emotional transition of school to home.) Maybe it's just to re-create relationships. Sounds extreme. Hope it's not. But I'll tell you (ahem, in admonishing teacher voice what I told mine once ) : We have a lot of moves ahead of us and you will meet and get to know a lot of people but only your sibling will travel with you to all of those places. So you're all you have for a long time so you better figure it out now. You're going to need each other whether it's because of the moves you're dealing with or difficulties you might have with me or your dad or both of us. But you're going to need each other. And you're going have to help each other. So figure it out. Now. (Queue dramatic walk-out) They were stunned. And I was pi$$ed. Anyway they don't fight at all and that was about 6 years ago. Maybe they're just scared to do it in my presence, Only time will tell, right? Love the idea of being a Zen expert. My boy could challenge him for that one!

[JayGee]

Plady - I would love NE, but my Georgia-born husband isn't so sure he can live there! That whole Yankee thing, you know . I hope your u/s was okay.

Kids & internal motivation - DH and I have been talking a lot about this recently. Mainly, why do some children have a "fire in the belly" that drives them toward success (academic, athletic, etc.) while the vast majority are content to just kind of float along. My kids KNOW they won't get any better at piano or swimming, or soccer or Irish dance if they don't practice, yet they kvetch and complain and try to get out of it. But I know some kids who LOVE to practice and really work to get better. Dont' know if it's a parenting thing, a maturity thing, or a personality trait. Anyway, DH especially finds it hugely irritating that his children don't want to work to improve their innate skills. I reminded him that at their age, he was pretty much busy watching TV, tagging after his older brother, and annoying his older sisters! There was no fire in his belly until he discovered soccer at age 14. Maybe we just start kids way to early in activities and expect way too much?

RR - I need to do my PT exercises this morning, and maybe a walk if it doesn't rain.

NRR - could have done without the cat-induced wakeup at 1:30am, and the other cat induced wakeup at 5:45 (when I just said screw it and got up). Have I mentioned how irritating my cats are? At least no one barfed last night...

[sparkletruck]

JG - Can I just copy your entire post!? Except in my case it was dogs and kids (two kids in the bed - dh at work - dog howl in the middle of the night, and then a huge dog mess all over the livingroom rug as a "good-morning" ). And then to cap it all off, literally, ds clogged the toilet! Dh and I have the same conversations. I think it's a combination of all of those, and yeah, I'm hoping that the modeling we're doing (of striving) will resonate for them later when they are more mature? I know when I kvetch about studying to DD1 she seems to get that I dont necessarily love it but I keep plugging away because of the bigger picture, which helps her plug away at the essay she doesnt want to write ....

[1jooj]

Well, my complaining must have done something. We had a rough day, but it worked out in the end. Mr. Sullen had a note-taking breakthrough first. He was overwhelmed with the idea of the whole paper, and figured, to get it done, he should start writing it. It's a research paper. Well. I took away the MS Word (?!), helped him get rolling with organizing source cards, sources and note cards, and explained that he is simply harvesting information right now--not evaluating, sorting, organizing. Just taking notes and making a big pile of notecards. Cue angels singing, tears drying, the hood being pulled off to expose the face, etc. So then he took notes for an hour or so, and made real progress. We'll do that some more tomorrow, and by next week, we'll be working on the next research paper. This week atomic weapons and next week, FDR. Science project, here we come. 

And dd tried, despite being warned, to whine her way to staying and playing after tutoring. But I held fast and dragged her home to finish our lesson goals. I was firm today! Woot!

And we have a mystery novel to finish, quick, before next week's book club. 

[Realrellim]

Re kids: I think society is expecting too much, too fast. Thus, articles featuring super-focused, successful kids which trick the rest of us into thinking that's more normal than it is, tons of people complaining about parents letting kids play video games and watch TV (as if previous generations were somehow all constructively involved with chemistry sets and engineering complex structures out of legos in their free time), and the entire school reform movement that continues pounding on the idea that our kids are all sub-par compared to the rest of the world and that our entire education system stinks, never mind that neither is particularly accurate. And thus society pushing harder than ever for kids to achieve more, faster.

Putting out another call for the science dingos: any ideas for a rock/mineral-based science project? Bonus points if it involves crystals.

[MelW]

Real, how about crystal growth at different temperatures? You could do salt or sugar crystals, and try growing in fridge vs. room temp vs. somewhere warmer (laundry room? near heater? other hot spot in the house?).

jo, hooray for an essay breakthrough and HS-ing progress. Good work for a zen expert

RR- I ran!! A 5k slog through snowy and occasionally washed out trails. It's my first run since the car accident, and my shoulder held up decently to the impacts.

NRR- I made a bunch of kombucha yesterday. I'm trying not to drink it all at once, and the kids are loving it. I haven't had homemade kombucha for almost 10 years, and only occasional store bought because of the cost. We did some plain, some cranberry and some ginger flavoured. There's another big batch fermenting away in the cupboard, too.

[Realrellim]

Originally Posted by MelW 

Real, how about crystal growth at different temperatures? You could do salt or sugar crystals, and try growing in fridge vs. room temp vs. somewhere warmer (laundry room? near heater? other hot spot in the house?).

Brilliant! She did something similar last year with water evaporation, but this would be a lot easier.

RR: 30-minute swim. Now my arms hurt, though I think that's mostly because I shoveled my parents' driveway after picking up R from school.

NRR: just ordered a used Kindle Fire, 1st gen! Apparently 2013 is a tech year for me.

[Geofizz]

Sorry, Lisa, I've been pondering for ideas. What grade? 2? 3?

Crystal growth is tricky, so you might want to spring for the chemical ones instead of sugar or salt. We haven't had much success here with growing crystals.

Knee hurting, 2 IEP meetings today, and RP's mom who they thought had had a stroke has been diagnosed with ALS. ;(. Given the onset of symptoms (noticed by RP and her mom, but not anyone else in the family), the prognosis is 1-2 years from about last April. She and her 6 siblings are now meeting and squabbling, working with the mom to decide end of life care wishes. It sounds to be a positively cruel disease.

[Plady]

Geo - Prayers for RPs mom, that does sound like a terrible fate.

Jo - The homeschooling sounds like such a great success for you all this year!  I'm impressed and amazed and can't even quite get my head around it.  I feel like quite the slacker just wishing my kids were getting some foreign language but not doing anything about it.

Real - I like the crystal experiment sound, noted Geo that it isn't as simple as it sounds.  I think dd has a science project coming up soon.

MelW - Thanks for that article.  The u/s went well and apparently all is well.  That's good, but I do feel like something is a little off.  I've been doing a pretty good job with the primal eating with the exception of some legumes and minimal dairy but I'm not feeling the same rush I did when I started last summer.  I guess I need to start tracking and see what's what.  The family, while not in full revolt, is clearly not at all enthusiastic either.  The kids haven't shown any of the improvements they had last time, I suppose because they are both eating at school and with friends a good deal and so still getting plenty of grain and sugar.  It certainly is discouraging, trying to fend off sugar.

RR - Boxed yesterday, today I doubt I'll get anything in though I should put something, maybe a 15 minute crossfit something or other on the schedule.  I feel like I've been a lazy slob all of January although I guess this week is the first I've felt normally healthy yet since New Year's. 
 

NRR: Meeting with Ali's kindy teacher today to see how she's doing, in her opinion.  I'm beginning to think that she is a bit over her head academically and socially (academically!  in kindy!  kill me! ) and that we might do her a huge favor by holding her back in the all.  She is so much smaller than all but one other girl in her class and is the youngest as her b'day is the cut-off for entry.  I don't know though how important it is to her that she is part of this particular class.  I don't see that she has great friends in this group but it could still be a big hit to her self-confidence.  Anyway, I'll see what her teacher thinks, she's a wonderful, amazing woman and I'm sure she will see things as clearly as anyone.

[Geofizz]

Plady, that will be a hard conversation.  The research on retaining young kids is really mixed.  I would urge you to do a very complete evaluation (even if it means going around the school to get something more complete) to determine if there's a subtle learning disability that's hindering her progress and her relationships with her peers.  More of the same does not help kids with learning disabilities, and you need to address them according to the disability.  Sometimes that means doing it alongside 1st grade, sometimes that's doing it to make for a highly successful Senior Kindergarten.  Ask the teacher about individual skill:  fine motor, gross motor, social relationships, emotional regulation, phonological skills, etc.  Have her walk you through every single nationally normed test that Ali's been given, and ask for percentiles by grade and by age.  If something falls below 25th percentile, then ask the teacher what skills it affects in the classroom, and what the teacher observes in practice about that skill.

Have you gotten Ali's vision and hearing checked recently by an expert (not the school nurse)?

For the confidence piece, it's a real issue to consider.  My dad repeated kindergarten, and his parents were so sly about it he didn't figure it out until high school.  Midyear, they just started calling it junior kindergarten, and then they moved him to a different school for the repeat, and then just always referred to it as senior kindergarten. 

It was IEP & intervention meetings for us at the school this morning for both kids.  3 hours and I'm drained.  However, I'm left with the overwhelming sense that getting the kids understood through appropriate testing and serving the needs through direct instruction is an amazing and powerful process.  I'm still processing the details, but it's been a really good year for us.  I told the principal that I hoped to get DS to the point that my family no longer drives the school's schedule (DD's schedule actually controls what happens at what time in classrooms she not even in).  He laughed and said that the Geofizz family falls in the category of "job security."

[kerc]

Running related:

Originally Posted by Geofizz 



Knee hurting,

My knees are sore too. This whole getting older thing: for the birds.

I'm looking for a goal for the spring/summer. Right now I've achieved: get back in the swing of working out (err, working out hard not just going through the motions). And I'm moving toward some kind of fitness related goal. I was considering a running race, but then I realized I don't know of any that I really want to do -- last year I did the big half marathon in town. But childcare for that is kind of a big hairy deal.

What are you guys thinking?

[Mel38]

I hear you on the ache-y knees. I hope it's nothing bad.

Plady, this question of whether is child should be held back is an ongoing one in our house this year with DS in first grade. Even DH (who tends to be very unconcerned about school-related things) is beginning to worry about whether DS is ready for the material. His reading is very poor and lacks any fluency yet. He tends to forget math concepts from week to week, despite repetition, so that when new concepts are added, he is overwhelmed and frustrated. On top of this, when I last met with the teacher, she spent most of the meeting talking about his spelling tests (5 words per week) that he has yet to manage to spell completely correctly. This is the least of my worries. I worry that he has trouble sometimes sounding out the word "ONE". I could care less if he can spell the word "could". Honestly, why is it important to learn the tough words like "could" in first grade?? I am scheduling a meeting with her to start talking about whether he is ready for second grade or not. I will ask her what testing he has had and where he falls.

Then there is DD - who has struggled a lot since we came back from Germany. That 3rd grade year was terrible for her, and she spent 4th grade slowly improving. She is now a happy, straight-A kid. But because of her scores in 3rd grade, she still does not qualify as Gifted & Talented, which kind of irks me. It's just a constant reminder to her that she is not quite on par with her classmates, which could not be farther from reality IMO.

Some scary storms out there today!  I am ditching our track workout where we were to meet at the bridge and run up it. I do not want to run on the bridge with 30 mph winds. Stay safe everybody.

[Geofizz]

"One" is not phonetic.  If you were to use the rules of phonology, you would read it "own."  That wouldn't bother me.  I'd be more bothered is a 1st grader weren't sounding out purely phonetic words, and struggling to learn to recognize high frequency words at a reasonable rate (shown the word frequently, written, and practiced in context at a rate of 1-3 per week).  Our first graders have a list of just 50 words they must recognize, and that list includes the 25 from kindergarten.

I've always thought that spelling words like "could" were silly.  Of course, in our meeting today, we spent a long time ensuring that DD copies down her spelling lists properly so that she learns the spelling properly.  Her 5th grade list last week was contractions.  Things like "it's" "we're".  Development is mixed, crazy, non-linear.

Stay safe out there in the SE today.

The knee really hurts.  I'm a little scared to admit that.  It's been bothering me for a while, and the time off while RP was recovering didn't fix it.  I'm getting more persistent with the vit I and ice.  Hopefully....

[Geofizz]

Can you guys tell I've spent a lot of time in the last year learning about normal reading development?  Sorry for being a know it all.

kerc, can you make a fitness goal in context to what you really love?  I don't get the sense that running is what you love, but instead it's hiking, swimming, and canoeing.  It would seem to be more successful if you were to tie it to one of those activities.  Running, of course, is a great complement to any of those, and would be a part of achieving the fitness goal.

[sparkletruck]

Geo - I love your know-it-all-ness. I'm glad that one of us seems to know-it-all about different things Where does your knee hurt? Have you tried strengthening?

Plady - that is a tough decision. AG seems like a very socially confident kid, so maybe if you can figure out the learning issues, she is still a good fit to move on?

NRR (but related to Kerc's post): dh and I have been having conversations about striving v.s, I guess, just being. My feeling is that one should always be striving to some degree toward some goal, and that this is what Life is. He was obviously a big striver for 8 years of med school/residency/fellowship, but in the past 2-3 since that ended he has settled contentedly into work, family, bike rides. It sort of irks me, hence the conversations. Anyway, he just threw his hat in the lottery ring for the Leadville-100 mountain-bike race! The drawing is mid-Feb. and if you get picked, you are automatically charged the $350 entry fee. Just to give you an idea of what we're talking about here: Lance Armstrong finished 2nd in 2008, and it took him 8 hours So this will be interesting... I sincerely hope he gets picked