Shall We Introduce Ourselves?

[prescottchels]

Hi Everybody!

A few of us have been chatting on the "Where's all the faith?" thread about getting this forum back on its feet and headed in a supportive, happy direction. So I thought we ought to have a new thread to introduce ourselves to one another. Tell us where you're at on your UC journey and anything else about yourself you'd like to share 

I'm Chelsie. I live in Arizona. I'm 35 yrs old and on cycle #2 of TTC w/new super awesomely supportive DP-39. Neither of us has any kiddos yet so we're super stoked about having a baby and having it at home by ourselves. We're pretty extreme do-it-yourselfers and also very private so UP/UC is right up our alley 
I first learned about and got comfortable with the idea of UCing right here in this forum several years ago so it's especially dear to my heart that we all get to know one another and feel comfortable asking each other questions and for support when we need it. 

Ok. Who's next? 

[BlessedJess]

I'll go next...

I'm 31 and have 6 kids with my husband who is 47 years old and a disabled 1st gulf war veteran of the US army. My husband and I have been married for over 13 years. My oldest child is 12.5 because we started breeding "like rabbits" right off the bat, with a little help from God overriding our use of birth control at the start. I prayed for my husband and family starting in my teen years and asked for the best husband for me in the whole world. My prayers were certainly answered and continue to be. We started marriage as Adventists. Soon we realized the SDA church was wrong for us and we struck out to explore religion on our own. We still consider ourselves Christian, but don't have a denomination. Our church is in our family, our sanctuary our home. Our lives, happy. Minus what the relatives seem to dish out when they try to meddle. We try to reach out and then they think they own us or something!

All our babies have been born at home. The first 2 times it was with a fabulous midwife. The third time I was 30 weeks along when I made up my mind that I wanted a UC and my midwife supported me. So I had prenatal care and postpartum care that time even though the birth was a private affair for the family. Then we moved a long way away and I had my 4th, 5th, and 6th completely solo for pregnancy and birth.

The last time I was pregnant I actually came here and started a thread about suspecting multiples during a UP and unexpectedly got a lot of admonishing to get intervention on the pregnancy, despite no clear warning signs or needs for it. Halfway through the pregnancy I heard two distinct heartbeats with doppler, twice. But then I opted to do no more checking with technology and by the third trimester it was certainly a singleton pregnancy, although I had no way of knowing or being sure, so I went on hopefully until the very end, when a few days postpartum I was certain there would be no other baby born. (had to give my uterus enough time to recover and my whole body before I could make any assesment, since twins can be born days apart)

But there were lots of twin signs after the birth. No dead fetus, but aside from that the pregnancy progressed like a multiple pregnancy and I gave birth at 36 weeks to a 3.5 pound baby who acted full term and grew vigorously. He was born in the living room in water, a complete breech. My first breech. And he started coming out posterior but turned after he was halfway born, into an anterior breech presentation.

He's two months old now and weighs almost 9 pounds. He's chunky and adorable. He's really showing his little personality now. He has a special bond with his daddy who held him most of the time while I labored to deliver his placenta for 3 hours. (that was an intense three hours of transition-like contractions!)

And that's about all I can think of to share right now.

Who's next? I like this thread!

[ladyelms]

hello all. my signature pretty much says it all. i'm 38, dh 44. we've been together/married 21 years and our oldest, our only hospital birth, is 20. he's still living at home, working and going to college full-time. our other 4 children were all born at home, the last 2 UC. they're all boys except the last, and we're currently TTC just one more girl. ('cause we're THAT in love w/ her. :)) So, i've got a 3rd UC on my mind...

[BlessedJess]

Originally Posted by ladyelms 

hello all. my signature pretty much says it all. i'm 38, dh 44. we've been together/married 21 years and our oldest, our only hospital birth, is 20. he's still living at home, working and going to college full-time. our other 4 children were all born at home, the last 2 UC. they're all boys except the last, and we're currently TTC just one more girl. ('cause we're THAT in love w/ her. :)) So, i've got a 3rd UC on my mind...

That is so neat! A TTCer. That's so cool cause then you know you might get to follow the whole story along and meet a new friend. And this will be your 6th?

I might be pregnant some time in the next 6 months to a year as well. So I am not quite TTC yet but soon enough I will. I'm still recovering from the last birth 2 months ago. I'm doing pretty well already but my husband needs to recover, I think, more than I do. Thanks in part to problems with relatives not being civil about discussing visit timings. We really need to recover from being walked all over more than anything else right now. Baby magnetism making relatives lose their rational thinking skills or something of the like.

Speaking of baby magnetism, mine is calling to me, literally.

[prescottchels]

Welcome ladyelms and blessedjess to our new UC circle! 

I think I remember your thread blessedjess, about suspected twins. I'm glad you stuck to your UC guns. Twins run in my family-both sides (& my 2nd cousin just had trips w/o fertility treatments) and I don't plan to get checked out unless I really suspect something is off so it's always great to hear of others who choose to gestate in peace. You surely would've been meddled with, with a baby that small... so glad you have a healthy little bundle to snuggle 

Who wants to go next? 

[southernmommie]

Hi there. I'm new to the new forum layout, but I've been posting on MDC for years. I am currently pregnant again. I have 5 children right now. Oldest is 10 and the youngest is 2. Oldest and youngest are our only boys and ironically also despite being on birth control. And no, not the same type of birth control either. Lol. I am convinced, by God, that this is His plan for us. To have a big family. Even at times when I didn't want it. But he is great. I also homeschool and babywear, cloth diaper, cosleep, non-vax, ect. We are a military family. I've been married to my one and only DH for going on 12 years. I met him while we both were in the military stationed in Japan. We had our oldest at a base hospital in Japan. Which he loves to tell people. A lot of my opinions offend others so I tend to not state them very often. But I will comment if it is something that is supported by facts. My first was born at a hospital. I did things as I was expected to do since it was my first baby and I was young and uniformed. My second was born at a hospital at 35 weeks due to my OB stripping my membranes earlier that day because she didn't want me to go over my due date like previously nor for me to deliver a 10 pound baby like previously. I did not know that your bag can reseal. I had no contractions and no signs of infection but went in anyway because I didn't know any better. My third, I had at a birthing center free from drugs and hospital interventions. I had her in the tub and it was amazing. My next 2 pregnancies I planned on having a UC birth but when I got to transition and hit my freak out mode, my hubby was uncomfortable with my plan on UCing so he gladly took me to the hospital which then stalled my labor and I had epidurals both times and both times they messed it up. So all 4 of my hospital births had things go wrong that could have been avoided. This time I plan on staying home through the whole thing. I have even thought about having a midwife here just to ease DH's nerves. Not really sure yet on the last part. I don't have any labor and delivery issues with any of my previous babies. Never had a breech or transverse baby, so I'm going to regard this one as the same until proven otherwise.

[prescottchels]

Welcome back Southernmommie!! Have you thought about a doula? Also I just read a birth story online somewhere and the mama mentioned a tincture that helps her during transition available from In His Hands, I think. Might be something to look into... And to tell your husband no matter what you say to ignore requests to go to the hospital or get drugs or whatever unless you say the code word that means your're really in trouble and need to go. 

[southernmommie]

If hubby has an issue with the money portion, then I'll look into a doula. My code word would most likely be "code". Lol. Anything else I'd probably forget in the throes of labor. I don't particularly have difficult labors, but they do tend to be fast and furious once they get to the canal. Which makes it pretty intense. But a doula is a good idea.

[Voondrop]

Hm, is there a military trend for do-it-yourselfers? I'm 31 & we're expecting to meet our 4th baby late May/early June. I met my husband in the army & got out after 4 years so he could continue his career in peace (there is no peace when one of you is constantly deployed) but he was medically retired after 13 years.

Our first baby was from what I gather, typical military hospital experience. Strapped to the bed, not allowed to get off of it or move about the room. I had read The Bradley Way of Giving Birth but it had garnered me (mutual) bad feelings among the staff as I was 43 weeks when I delivered. They even went so far as to call me in for a "test" at 42 weeks & strapped me down w/ the monitors & test me w/ cervadil & then made me sign an AMA when I refused the second dose hours later. Husband was given veiled threats about disciplinary action over my noncompliance & the dead baby card was thrown in our faces ALOT. They did respect my wishes enough to not offer me pain relief (maybe they thought it was vengeance, lol) & happily the only midwife on staff was on call when I delivered. I had never met her but I could see that her bra straps were for nursing & that reassured me for some reason. He was born beautiful & perfect, 7lb. exactly.

Second baby I was adamant against going that route. Husband still wanted to because, hey, the hospital was free. I sent a lot of links from Laura Shanley's site to my mother & mother & in law FREAKED out. They got together & offered to split the cost of a midwife for a home birth. We were actually pretty well off financially at the time, so we refused & Husband bit the bullet. We spent a ton of money on fun things for ourselves (he more than me) so it wasn't to big a sacrifice. It was ecstasy. Not in the orgasmic way because that didn't happen, but the weather was warm, the sun & fresh air were streaming in & 7 hours after labor began first daughter flutter kicked her way out of me. That is a feeling no man can give you & while it wasn't the orgasm I've read about it was darn ticklish so I was laughing through the whole pushing phase. Afterwards though, I think she broke a rib.Husband was sold.

Second daughter came along a month after his retirement papers came through,house was for sale & we were moving into an RV. He was less than pleased about the timing but God used this time more than any other to bring us to rely on Him. It was a financial drastic change, going from 40,000 a year w/ benefits to 900 a month. We had a lot of fun doing it & had gotten in a position to not have a lot of bills. We were completely debt free. We found an underground midwife working to become legal & her finals were scheduled sometime during the due month so she apologetically backed out & refunded our money. We couldn't fault her though, it's pretty rare to find a legal midwife in this state, so good for her. Being yet new in town we went to the hospital & it was nice. Not home birth nice, but there were showers for labor, walking the halls was encouraged, couches folded into beds for dads, rooming in was standard & best of all the staff was human & empathetic. We had sold the RV to pay the midwife & it just made up the difference insurance wouldn't cover.

Mystery baby is a planned UC, there are no more RVs lying around to sell & already dependent on his retirement check we are very much against government assistance for ourselves when we

are physically capable of working. We home school & keep dairy goats & chickens & try to extend our gardens a little more every year for food.

Moms & everyone are comfortable w/ UC. Husband is a combat medic & in EMT classes this semester after having finished his associates degree w/ the GI bill. My sister is a nurse who had an unplanned UC in the car & she's been encouraging. We are looking into a doula because we both really found her to be the most helpful at the home birth.  Wow, this got long. Nice to be here!

[southernmommie]

Voondrop,

wow! I'm excited for your UC!! After having military hospital birth experiences and a free standing birthing center birth experience, I KNOW I can do this at home and would rather be at home with no one messing with me or baby!

[Ponyomum]

Hi, I'm 23 and live in country Victoria, Australia. My husband and I have a 15 month old daughter and are expecting in early July. We're still looking into our options but I'm leaning towards UC or going to the public hospital 5 mins away if I get scared.

I'm planning on not cord clamping and doing cord burning instead(hospital doesn't allow candles etc. ), encapsulating my placenta myself, co-sleeping(technically not allowed in my hospital but nurses turn a blind eye) and baby wearing(hospital policy is to push babies in the plastic cribs when you leave your room). I'm undesided on whether to do my pregnancy though the only homebirth midwife in town which my Medicare covers but not the birth incase she can check on me and bubs right after birth through Medicare or stay with my OB from my last pregnancy who I know I like and trust but probaly won't be there for birth because I'm public and won't check on me till my 6 week postpartum visit. My husband isn't too supportive of homebirth but I'm hoping he'll come round or at least wait and see(we spent most of my last labour at home and I was the one who decided we should leave so I'm pretty confident it could turn into an UC and alot more informed and sure of myself even if we do go to hospital).

[BlessedJess]

Originally Posted by Ponyomum 

Hi, I'm 23 and live in country Victoria, Australia. My husband and I have a 15 month old daughter and are expecting in early July. We're still looking into our options but I'm leaning towards UC or going to the public hospital 5 mins away if I get scared.
I'm planning on not cord clamping and doing cord burning instead(hospital doesn't allow candles etc. ), encapsulating my placenta myself, co-sleeping(technically not allowed in my hospital but nurses turn a blind eye) and baby wearing(hospital policy is to push babies in the plastic cribs when you leave your room). I'm undesided on whether to do my pregnancy though the only homebirth midwife in town which my Medicare covers but not the birth incase she can check on me and bubs right after birth through Medicare or stay with my OB from my last pregnancy who I know I like and trust but probaly won't be there for birth because I'm public and won't check on me till my 6 week postpartum visit. My husband isn't too supportive of homebirth but I'm hoping he'll come round or at least wait and see(we spent most of my last labour at home and I was the one who decided we should leave so I'm pretty confident it could turn into an UC and alot more informed and sure of myself even if we do go to hospital).

I think a big selling point for UC, for the man, is when he learns that for a woman having a baby - with all those bonding hormones - some of that loving feeling can spread to the midwife or doctor when if what the woman needs is emotional support and teamwork, that loving energy should go towards the husband and baby and any other children in the birthing circle, not just out there to all who intrude on the birth scene. I've always found that I love my husband in a fresh way after each baby. It's a babymoon and a honeymoon, even without the sex - because it binds the woman's heart to her man to have him right there, planning and helping, with anything from fresh, hot water or that loving hand to hold as you get into your bed after birth. There's something special about knowing that your husband was directly responsible for supervising and doing the chores that made birth smooth and happy. Something you can't get from a romantic dinner and a movie. (and if he can play postpartum doula, that would be great - I know how men can be chained to work or other personal constraints but if it can be done, it should be - in my personal opinion)

ETA: And yes, I know how much some women can love the idea of touring Europe or going on a big cruise or having another wedding cerimony of affirmation (big affairs, no?) How much more important and delightful can some of us say our simple at home free birth with husband, child(ren) and new baby was? A very simple and cost effective method to have a big bonding and boost to the marriage. The new baby brings most of the gift and all the husband has to do is practice good listening, cooperative planning, a few articles to read that an informed wife can push his way if he has questions, a to-do list that does not have many big ticket items, and I've found this to be a better way to spend my time than on a costly baby shower where the wife gets to be stressed out by all the relatives and friends crushing down on her in mid to late pregnancy. But whatever, it's a personal thing and I think in the birth of the baby, the wife should be thinking first of her and the baby's needs, second to her husband's needs, because he's a new and responsible father who wants to protect and provide for his baby - and the closer the husband can tune his demands to her needs and desires, the better they all will function in the birth of their baby together.

Edited by BlessedJess - 1/6/13 at 10:01am

[Voondrop]

I think a big selling point for UC, for the man, is when he learns that for a woman having a baby - with all those bonding hormones - some of that loving feeling can spread to the midwife or doctor when if what the woman needs is emotional support and teamwork, that loving energy should go towards the husband and baby and any other children in the birthing circle, not just out there to all who intrude on the birth scene.

Ha ha, not my husband for our homebirth. He was glad to be present at all 3 births & got the love but this:

There's something special about knowing that your husband was directly responsible for supervising and doing the chores that made birth smooth and happy.

key word being "responsible". My husband just likes being in charge, plain & simple. And he's very good & efficient at it. Tailor your argument to the type of man your husband is. My husband never thought he would enjoy directing & orchestrating everything for a homebirth but he honestly did, even the clean up. And when the siphon trick for emptying the tub out of the window went wrong at the end all over the carpet, he found a reason to buy a shop vac & add to his tool collection.

[BlessedJess]

Originally Posted by Voondrop 

Ha ha, not my husband for our homebirth. He was glad to be present at all 3 births & got the love but this:

key word being "responsible". My husband just likes being in charge, plain & simple. And he's very good & efficient at it. Tailor your argument to the type of man your husband is. My husband never thought he would enjoy directing & orchestrating everything for a homebirth but he honestly did, even the clean up. And when the siphon trick for emptying the tub out of the window went wrong at the end all over the carpet, he found a reason to buy a shop vac & add to his tool collection.

Gotta love your point, there. My husband was a medic in the army, a sarg, and ran an orderly room perfectly. So naturally it was an easy sell. Not all men will take the same selling points the same way. :D

I also have to agree though, that when it all starts going down, everyone in the room is so happy and excited it all seems worth it. Regardless of whether or not handling birthing pools is "fun" on it's own.

PS, we are also home educating all our children, so it's neat to see so many of you do that also.

[SunnyMuffin]

Originally Posted by Ponyomum 

My husband and I have a 15 month old daughter and are expecting in early July. We're still looking into our options but I'm leaning towards UC or going to the public hospital 5 mins away if I get scared.
 

Almost hte same as this except my son is 17 months.  I haven't been able to get a midwife with this pregnancy (I guess I was lucky last time?), I cant even get in with offices that are 1.5 hours away and since I had a fairly uncomplicated hospital birth last time and left a few hours later, I really hoped for a homebirth this time.  I'm not going to the hospital unless I feel like something is wrong.  Its only 5 minutes away.  

[SunnyMuffin]

I don't have much of an interest in doing my own prenatal care and ill be seeing a family dr who does maternity care for that

[prescottchels]

Welcome to the circle Voondrop, ponyomum, and sunnymuffin!!

It's so great to see you gals showing up here to introduce yourselves! 

[1babysmom]

I'm 27, DH is 30, we've been married 9 years.  This will be our 4th baby (but 11th pregnancy) and our 3rd UC, Lord-willing! (1st was a medicated hospital birth) I have SO much more peace about doing it at home unassisted than I do in a hospital.  Unfortunately a midwife isn't an easy option here (nothing legal, just an area where I have none local to me in my state, and I'm on the border of another state who can no longer attend in mine), but I have *considered* having a MW assisted birth...it's just that I don't feel the need to have someone there ("medically" speaking, I'm probably about as good off as a UC'er can be, having DH as a medic, my MIL and FIL across the road as an RN/naturopath and a long time MD- MIL is usually here at my births, and having my own medical- turned natural, ha!- background as well).   My struggle is just staying pregnant through the first trimester and we have cleared that hurdle. :)  Still praying that everything goes well the rest of the pregnancy, and I LOVE birth so I have been so excited to do it again since well before I got pregnant this time.  It makes the 40ww very hard. ;)

So anyway...looking forward to April. :)

[prescottchels]

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you 1babysmom!! So glad you're here!! 

[lmnopxz]

Hey guys .
Im 21 years old, and pregnant with my first! Due the 2nd half of March. From the get go we have wanted a home birth. But the midwife i started seeing only births in the hospital. So i continued prenatal care until they wanted the glucose test. Since we found out at 9 wks pregnant that our nidwife doesnt do home births, weve been excited by UCing! Not getting a whole lot of positive support about UCing from my family, but it makes me happy that hopefully this birth will inspire others and change some opinions about birth and doctors and that whole shebang! I am also using hypnobabies home study.