Hm, is there a military trend for do-it-yourselfers? I'm 31 & we're expecting to meet our 4th baby late May/early June. I met my husband in the army & got out after 4 years so he could continue his career in peace (there is no peace when one of you is constantly deployed) but he was medically retired after 13 years.
Our first baby was from what I gather, typical military hospital experience. Strapped to the bed, not allowed to get off of it or move about the room. I had read The Bradley Way of Giving Birth but it had garnered me (mutual) bad feelings among the staff as I was 43 weeks when I delivered. They even went so far as to call me in for a "test" at 42 weeks & strapped me down w/ the monitors & test me w/ cervadil & then made me sign an AMA when I refused the second dose hours later. Husband was given veiled threats about disciplinary action over my noncompliance & the dead baby card was thrown in our faces ALOT. They did respect my wishes enough to not offer me pain relief (maybe they thought it was vengeance, lol) & happily the only midwife on staff was on call when I delivered. I had never met her but I could see that her bra straps were for nursing & that reassured me for some reason. He was born beautiful & perfect, 7lb. exactly.
Second baby I was adamant against going that route. Husband still wanted to because, hey, the hospital was free. I sent a lot of links from Laura Shanley's site to my mother & mother & in law FREAKED out. They got together & offered to split the cost of a midwife for a home birth. We were actually pretty well off financially at the time, so we refused & Husband bit the bullet. We spent a ton of money on fun things for ourselves (he more than me) so it wasn't to big a sacrifice. It was ecstasy. Not in the orgasmic way because that didn't happen, but the weather was warm, the sun & fresh air were streaming in & 7 hours after labor began first daughter flutter kicked her way out of me. That is a feeling no man can give you & while it wasn't the orgasm I've read about it was darn ticklish so I was laughing through the whole pushing phase. Afterwards though, I think she broke a rib.Husband was sold.
Second daughter came along a month after his retirement papers came through,house was for sale & we were moving into an RV. He was less than pleased about the timing but God used this time more than any other to bring us to rely on Him. It was a financial drastic change, going from 40,000 a year w/ benefits to 900 a month. We had a lot of fun doing it & had gotten in a position to not have a lot of bills. We were completely debt free. We found an underground midwife working to become legal & her finals were scheduled sometime during the due month so she apologetically backed out & refunded our money. We couldn't fault her though, it's pretty rare to find a legal midwife in this state, so good for her. Being yet new in town we went to the hospital & it was nice. Not home birth nice, but there were showers for labor, walking the halls was encouraged, couches folded into beds for dads, rooming in was standard & best of all the staff was human & empathetic. We had sold the RV to pay the midwife & it just made up the difference insurance wouldn't cover.
Mystery baby is a planned UC, there are no more RVs lying around to sell & already dependent on his retirement check we are very much against government assistance for ourselves when we
are physically capable of working. We home school & keep dairy goats & chickens & try to extend our gardens a little more every year for food.
Moms & everyone are comfortable w/ UC. Husband is a combat medic & in EMT classes this semester after having finished his associates degree w/ the GI bill. My sister is a nurse who had an unplanned UC in the car & she's been encouraging. We are looking into a doula because we both really found her to be the most helpful at the home birth. Wow, this got long. Nice to be here!