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How are you feeling? - Page 77

post #1521 of 1719
I don't dread vaginal birth and I would be very upset if I felt pushed into an unnecessary cesarean. I've had one induced, medicated hospital birth, one natural, unmedicated hospital birth, and one homebirth, and I just don't buy into the spiritual woman earth connection stuff. I just want safety and practicality, and for me, with a low risk pregnancy, that means home birth pretty much fits the bill. Unfortunately, I have a dilemma because of my location and my feelings about my providers.
But I don't think this puts me in line with "mainstream" thinking in the US, in fact, far from it. I just don't need the right lighting/music/pool to make me feel like a powerful woman- or to bond with my baby.
Edited by Jennyanydots - 8/11/13 at 9:58pm
post #1522 of 1719
Jenny, I think you were right re your MWs: it's time to switch care providers so you can be comfortable.

As for the whole birth thing, I'm with you: I don't care much how it happens. I just want to be DONE, as safely as possible, and to get on with our lives.
post #1523 of 1719
This: "I just don't buy into the spiritual woman earth connection stuff."

And this: "I just don't need the right lighting/music/pool to make me feel like a powerful woman- or to bond with my baby."

Exactly how I feel. I would have loved to have a vaginal birth with my first but it wasn't in the cards. So, for me specifically, it's not in the cards for the second one. I praise all you vbac ladies out there!

Oh Tilly, things sound so rough and full of family drama for you. Try not to let it get to you.
post #1524 of 1719

I'm officially 36 weeks today. YAY!. I feel heavy, exhausted and like a sick n shut in. My back and hips hurt so I hate leaving the house. I'm officially on Maternity Leave today too. AWESOME.

 

As for birthing. My one vaginal birth ended in loss... so yeah, I did it, I hated it but I did it. Cesarean will be how this baby gets here. I'm lucky that c-sections exist - otherwise, I wouldn't have the option of having another baby. I mourned the loss of having a vaginal birth for a few months after my myomectomy... but I totally got over it when I considered the fact that I would still have a healthy living baby at the end of it all. I'm no longer into the whole birthing thing anymore either. Mainly because I now know that it's not always the best thing in the world.... the thriving baby is. So - if I can get that post c-section.. the whole process doesn't matter. Pregnancy and motherhood are my main goals. Birth is going to be a 30 minute segue that leads to my new favorite human. I'm cool with that. I'm no less of a momma because I didn't push out my baby after carrying him/her for 9 months. I have the next few decades to bond.

post #1525 of 1719
Mamamash- can I ask how was the recovery from your c-section? Can u really not do anything for 6 weeks?
post #1526 of 1719
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thebyr View Post

I'm officially 36 weeks today.  

Congrats!  I'm exactly at the point in pregnancy (34 weeks) that I was when my first one was born, so I'm hoping all these practice contractions are only that.

 

I'm so sorry about your first loss after vaginal delivery, that's something no woman deserves to go through.  Baby was extremely premature, though, and that was the reason for the loss, correct?  Not a traumatic birth?  

 

Just to clarify, I totally think it's awesome that we have these options for women who need cesareans for medical reasons and if a cesarean is needed, then of course it doesn't make a woman any less of a mama.  Even if it's not needed, it doesn't make a woman any less of a mama.  

I was referring to the rapidly growing prevalence of unnecessary planned cesareans making me a little sad, as the experience of giving birth (as being potentially a pretty amazing milestone in a woman's life as far as I'm concerned) is being totally tossed out the window for so very many mamas and babies.

 

Jennyanydots, I apologize.  Your experience and mindset about where it is safest to give birth certainly isn't mainstream.  I meant only that you enjoy being in the company of most American women today with your mindset of 'being not that into birth', (at least if my personal anecdotal perceptions are any indication of how most American moms feel nowadays about birthing and being rather ambivalent about that step).  That part lumps you into the majority, unless I'm grossly incorrect in my assumptions about the current american birthing culture (and I don't know anyone in the US in any crunchy pockets, my connections are in rather non-crunchy pockets but then again I think they are rather representative of the whole).

 

Also for the record, I don't think I said anything about lighting, music, birthing pools, or anything about spirituality when I mentioned that experiencing your bodies ability to do this amazing feat is something that can be quite revelatory and amazing for the woman who does it.  My first natural birth was in a hospital in a traditional delivery room, and had no special lighting or music or pools or even a second thought about spirituality.  Neither did my second, homebirth.  The first was a revelatory experience in terms of being amazed with my body and my own capabilities, second was a calm, relaxing event which was also a lovely eye opening experience.

post #1527 of 1719
Quote:
I don't care much how it happens. I just want to be DONE, as safely as possible, and to get on with our lives.

 

Diddo!

post #1528 of 1719
Quote:
Originally Posted by serena76 View Post

Mamamash- can I ask how was the recovery from your c-section? Can u really not do anything for 6 weeks?

Just wanted to point out, serena, that while you can certainly google 'recovery times after cesarean' and get some statistics about how long on average it takes women to bounce back after surgery, healing times will vary wildly on a case by case basis.  Probably one indicator for you personally is considering how you have healed in the past from other types of wounds, is your body a quick healer, or does it take you a long time before your body feels robust at the point of injury?  What about after heavy drugs, does it take your body a long time to 'clear' them and for you to feel clear and clean again, or have you noticed at other times when you've needed heavy medications that it throws off your system for a long time?  Probably age has something to do with it, as well, as we all heal more slowly the older we get, and a variety of other factors.  But individual results will definitely vary quite a bit, at least the women I know who have had cesareans have had a myriad of comments about the healing process so I'm assuming it's not 'one size fits all' for what to expect.

post #1529 of 1719
Thanks serefina.
For me an early loss after birth = traumatic birth.
I can't speak for everyone else, but personally I was responding to the topic of c-section birth overall - not your specific statements and personal thoughts about the topic. I think every woman is entitled to her opinion and what's best for her. I just included my story in the conversation.

Serena - recovery times can vary widely. Myomectomies are very similar to c-sections because they cut into your uterus. The only difference is that sometimes they don't have to cut all the way through the uterine wall (a lot of times they do) and you can have multiple incisions during one surgery - I have 7. I was fortunate enough to have the surgery done by davinci robot, so it was laparoscopic, but that only minimizes the size of the initial incision to get to your uterus. Anyway, after two weeks my pain was greatly reduced, after 4 weeks I could resume regular activity - including sex. With my c-section I get the same restrictions as vaginal birthers: no heavy lifting, sex, tampons, strenuous/weight bearing exercise for 6 weeks. Some women complain that it takes them a year to recover and feel normal. My body tends to heal very fast if I follow the directions post birth.
post #1530 of 1719
Quote:
Originally Posted by serena76 View Post

Mamamash- can I ask how was the recovery from your c-section? Can u really not do anything for 6 weeks?

My recovery wasn't terrible honestly. I was definitely up and doing things before 6 weeks. The first week was really hard, the second week was hard, but I by the beginning of the third week I was no longer taking any pain medicine save for the occasional Motrin. So because of that I was able to drive sooner than the 6 weeks. I wasn't back to my normal self physically for a long time, but the pain stopped after a few weeks. Everyone's experience is different though. Some better some worse. A couple things I'll suggest if you so end up with a c-section, get up and start walking as soon after the surgery as you can. It makes a difference, plus you'll be able to get your catheter out once you're moving and that alone makes you feel more like a human. And, take your pain medicine! Don't be a hero. Stay on top of the pain. I really hope she turns for you though so you don't have to worry about all of this junk!
post #1531 of 1719
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thebyr View Post
 
For me an early loss after birth = traumatic birth.

Oh my gosh of course that would be traumatic.  Immeasurably so.  I was asking if your vaginal birth was physically traumatic, i.e. the use of forceps, which could have caused the loss. My grandmother lost one baby (he would have been my uncle) a few days post natural birth because it was a particularly traumatic vaginal birth with the baby stuck in transition a long time and eventually forceps were used and it didn't go well, and the baby didn't survive.   I was trying to clarify that a vaginal birth not going well wasn't the reason for your loss, correct?  Rather, that she came way too early, if I understood.

post #1532 of 1719
Thx guys, I think I should heal well if I do have a c-section as I do recover from ops really quickly. I'm a fast healer, nearly never sick and never even broken a bone. I'm coming to terms with the fact a c-section might happen, so hopefully that means she'll turn lol
post #1533 of 1719

Serena, I sincerely hope for you that your baby ends up turning and you won't need a C-section after all!

 

I'm feeling like maybe I need to revisit the plan to work 4 more weeks (including this week), 3 weeks sounds nice right now, but I knew that I'd want to back out early and I deliberately painted myself into a corner by scheduling people till Sept 8th. Not that they can't be cancelled, I just don't want to feel like I'm giving in.

post #1534 of 1719
Quote:
Originally Posted by serena76 View Post

Thx guys, I think I should heal well if I do have a c-section as I do recover from ops really quickly. I'm a fast healer, nearly never sick and never even broken a bone. I'm coming to terms with the fact a c-section might happen, so hopefully that means she'll turn lol

Haha, that's how it seems to work huh. Now that you've started to accept it I bet she'll flip. I really do hope she flips for you. A vaginal birth is much easier on the body. Will you attempt an external version soon if she doesn't turn on her own?

Dakipode you are not giving in if you stop working in 3 weeks! I think it's amazing that any of you are still working. You didn't know how you were going to feel at this point when you painted yourself into a corner, ya know? But, more power to you if you are able to push through and work the 4 weeks.
post #1535 of 1719
Dakipode- I can't believe your still working now. Listen to your body, if u can't do it anymore don't. Think of yourself and baby. I was gonna work till the beginning of sept, how wrong was I? Lol

Mamamash- I got an appointment on wed at the breech clinic. I think if she hasn't turned they will then schedule the date for the ECV. It's normally about 37-38 weeks. I'm more scared of that than a c-section lol
post #1536 of 1719

I was going to ask you guys about how important sleep is? Since were on the topic of working... I've been planing on working right up till the end like Dakipode. But I pulled a 16 hour work day on Friday and I'm still trying to recover from it. I'm just out of it and tired. Felt like I didn't get a weekend. T_T

post #1537 of 1719
I also feel wiped out after a very exhausting night at work. It usually takes me a few days to catch up after a night like that. I just nap when I can and make sure to sleep at night.

Sleep is my BFF.
post #1538 of 1719

I've got three more weeks of work left and I am just going to push through them unless I really really can't and then I won't. I've got a mostly sit-down job which makes things easier and also harder (you should see how fat my ankles are after a day of work!).

 

It's funny though about my energy levels. My entire two week driving and cabin living trip, including some longish hikes, didn't tire me out nearly as much as a four hour IKEA and Lee Valley shopping trip did on Saturday.

post #1539 of 1719
jennyanydots - I don't think I commented on your provider situation so thought I'd offer my 2 cents smile.gif Last pregnancy I was quite uncomfortable with the midwife I was assigned (for a variety of reasons). By the time I was passed 30 weeks my BP would skyrocket at the very thought of seeing her. At 32 weeks I ended up in the hospital voernight due to kidney stones - my BP was totally normal the whole time I was there unless she entered the room. The midwife pratice wouldn't let me swap to another midwife that late in pregnancy. I eventually decided that under no circumstances did I want that woman in the room while I was going through labour and delivery! I just couldn't deal with the thought of having her energy around me during that crucial and vulnerable time. So I self induced at 38 weeks while she was on vacation (she was due to be back when I was 38w 5d) which ended me up with the on call midwife. I figured a random stranger was better than going with the one I hated! It was the best decision I ever made and thankfully DS was more than ready to come at that point. His birth was perfect and smooth and everything I ever hoped for. I dn't think that would have been the case if I had stayed with the midwife who was supposed to deliver him. If you have lost faith in the practice you were planning to go with, and you have any other option, I would take it. The last thing you need to deal with is midwives that make you uncomfortable!

On the c section/natural birth topic... I'm ever so thankful that I have had one natural, unmedicated birth, and I fully intend to have another one. I found it very empowering and honestly had very little pain during labour or delivery (except the ring of fire as he crowned, but that was brief). It was intense and overwhelming and completely amazing. I am also very grateful for medical advances like c-sections that allow women to have babies who might not otherwise have been able to. My best friend lost two late term (one full term) babies that may well have lived had her doctors been competant, identified issues and done a csection. She now has 3 absolutely wonderful children, all delivered by c-section. She is the most crunchy, earthy, natural woman I have ever met, but in the end, she did what had to be done for her babies to be born alive and healthy.
I would be devastated if I ended up having to have a c-section, but that's because I'm terrified of epidurals after a previous bad experience with needles in my spine. And because I think adding baby #2 to the household will be hard enough on my DS without my not being able to pick him up for weeks or months while recovering from abdominal surgery. But if it's really, truly, medically necessary, I will suck it up, have a c-section, and be thrilled to have my baby in my arms when it's over.

Is anyone else taking or using evening primrose oil? I remember taking capsules last time, but I also recall people talking about inserting them vaginally to help ripen the cervix. Has anyone done that before? Did you just push the capsule up there or did you break it open and try to get the oil up there?
post #1540 of 1719
How did you self induce?

I'm also worried about not being able to be there for my toddler. That's a big part of my VBAC decision. I was literally worthless for a week last time... And I'm a very independent person, so it sucked really bad.
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