Thanks Chourd and everyone. All the oncall stuff can be hard.
I am feeling a bit saner today. My girls are off with their dad this morning so i've had the house to myself to poas and climb back in bed with my thoughts for awhile. I think the tests look darker today fmu was dilute second was better. I am out of sticks and hoping to hold off on any more testing. Haha....those of you that know me...well, stores are closed today anyway.
I am trying to take my own advice and focus on all my warm fuzzy maternal feelings.
The first heartbeats
The burn of the last few pushes
The way your life stops- then changes- at the first sight.
Whether the first or fifth...or more
Those needle prick tingles of latching on
And the comfort of that first snuggle after getting cleaned up.
I'm pushing all that energy down deep into me and out to all of you as always.
In a way I feel some survivor guilt...I was making my peace with this and spending my thoughts and prayers on all of you.
I hope you all have some love and sunshine in your day today wherever you are.