Negative. Again. Every month it becomes more and more clear that something is still wrong with me. I wish I knew what the F was wrong with me and why I can't just procreate like a normal woman. It's all I can do to not burst into tears at work right now.
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Taking The Scenic Route to a BFP - Winter/Spring 2013 Edition - Page 60post #1181 of 15195/2/13 at 12:59pmpost #1182 of 15195/2/13 at 2:02pmAdiejan - We need an update! I hope your HPTs are still showing that second line.
jpack - your appointment sounded perfect. I have a really good feeling about this! And, I'm glad you left on Tuesday. It's such bs that doctors think we have nothing to do but wait around.
sherry - awesome recap I hope AF stays far away!!
Chrissy - Sorry about all the stuff you are dealing with DS. Thinking of you
TF - Yay yay yay for starting!!! So excited for you.
Sila - I hope week 10 goes ok for you. I was feeling like my old self yesterday. I even worked out! But, feeling bad again today. Hoping for more good days than bad now.
Daurelia - I didn't see your post! I'm so so sorry. I wish I had something comforting to say. It just sucks to bad to experience such heart ache. I do believe that the doc will be able to sort it out. When is your appointment? Was this your second or third try?
AFM - So, my p4 was 33. That's the highest it's been. I was instructed to go down to prometirum every other day for a week and then stop. DId I listen? Of course not! I decided to stay on one pill a day until I'm 12 weeks, which is Sunday. Then, I'll start to wean. I don't think it really matters at this point. Especially since oral prometrium is about the least effective method of progesterone support. But, I'm too chicken to stop. I also got the go ahead to stop the estrogen patch. Today would have been the day to take off the old one and put on a new one. Still have the old one on. Maybe tomorrow.
I have my OB appointment tomorrow and am just waiting on my Mat21 results. Starting to get nervous about them. I should find out sometime between tomorrow and next Friday.post #1183 of 15195/2/13 at 8:21pmpost #1184 of 15195/3/13 at 6:31ampost #1185 of 15195/3/13 at 7:02amThread Starterpost #1186 of 15195/3/13 at 8:17ampost #1187 of 15195/3/13 at 9:31amAdiejan - how many dpo were you for our blood draw. I agree with Sila. Sounds like you caught it right after implantation! Hoping for a great next number.
AFM - I had my OB appointment today. It went great. My OB says I can come back as soon as I need to, since I'm used to weekly appointments. I'm going back in a little over 2 weeks instead of the usual 4. So thankful. Got another u/s and the baby looks awesome. Saw both legs kicking around and got to see his/her fingers too. It was so awesome. He also did a nuchal translucency measurement since I don't get that test with the Mat21. The measurement looked great and I read that it's 80-90% accurate at detecting Trisomy 18, 13 and 21, even without the blood test. So, I'm feeling very reassured. I want to tell DD so bad, but I'm going to wait for the Mat21 results first.
The only scary thing is that the OB wants me off the lovenox at 20 weeks instead of around 30 weeks, like my RE mentioned. So, I'm going to do some research and try to get in touch with my RE to discuss things.post #1188 of 15195/3/13 at 12:32pm
hi my friends.
i'm sorry i've been a poor poster. feeling very overwhelmed with all these ups and downs with ivf and monitoring.
daurelia - i feel for you. i've been doing lots of crying myself. this is so hard.
adijean - congrats!
skj and sila - so glad to hear how awesomely your pregnancies are going!
toothfairy - hooray for getting started on FET! you are going to be pregnant again before we know it!
sherry - so nice to have you back here!
jpack - can't wait to hear about your next monitoring appt!
anyone i've missed? chrissy? how's your momma?
afm: i'm doing some copying and pasting with my updates (thanks for the recommendation, sila!), hope you don't mind:
monitoring appt today.
stim day 6
rt ovary - 2 measurable follicles, 10.4 and 4.25
lft ovary - 2 measurable follicles, 6.76 and 4.9
doc gave me the same recommendation that she gave me last time, up my gonal-f to 375, up menopur to 225, add in dilute hcg, in addition to keeping my mdl the same. i did already up my gonal-f to 375 for two nights, that part doesn't scare me too much. but i have yet to up my menopur. i worry about added lh and egg quality. i did order the dilute hcg shot and will take that tomorrow.
next scan is monday (stim day 9) where she said that if i'm not responding as i should, we will have to talk about canceling.
so there it is. i guess monday will be d-day.
any thoughts or feedback - very much appreciated!post #1189 of 15195/3/13 at 1:09pmindie - to my novice eye, everything is looking good so far. I think if you are worried about egg quality issues with the menopur, it makes sense to not raise it. Worst case is that you cancel. Otherwise, if things picked up but there were egg quality issues, you wouldn't know that until fertilization and you'd be out the expense of retrieval. I hope this is all a moot point and things will be marching along on Monday. This whole process is such a rollercoaster. I wish there wasn't so much uncertainty. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you all weekend. Come on Indie Eggies!!post #1190 of 15195/3/13 at 3:46pmHugs indie! Fx that it all goes well just like SKJ said...
SKJ - I'm really happy that the Ob is taking your history into account... Let us know what you find out about lovenox. I still feel that you can't go wrong with this baby, fx you enjoy it more and more.
Afm - what I wouldn't give to be in the game... On the brink of missing another month... And quite blah... Wish me luck and send me prayers ladies...
Hugs to everyone!post #1191 of 15195/3/13 at 4:15pmIndie, I wish I knew what to say, I guess I just don't totally understand the lh- egg quality link, but I do understand being concerned, though I just don't know enough about it. I'm with you in uncertainty and wished I had control over the progress!!
Daurelia, I'm sorry about the bfn, but again, you're in great hands- can you ask for some feedback from the doc?
SKJ wow, very cool about how flexible and supportive the ob is!! Also- any indication what your doc used as grounds to start the metformin? I'd love to pass whatever along to my doc. I also asked him about the booster hcg. Thanks!
My monitoring this morning was pretty lame (the outcome, not the visit, the visit was lovely). LH still about 1.4 and e2 still only 88. Lots of little follicles still. Onein the left measuring almost 14, on the right I've got a 13.5, an 11, and a 10. Today is cd 10, and it'll be my 8th day of stims. Am I feeling more disheartened than I should? I'm so tempted to up my dose (still at 75). I won't, but I'm feeling a little bummed by the state of things... Also it's technically cd10, but really AF started the evening before (and full on) so it's kinda cd11...post #1192 of 15195/3/13 at 4:55pm
indie/jpack- I just messaged this to indie but I will paste it here too. On day 5 of stims I had no measuring follicles, Day 8 I had 5 between 10-12 mm, by day 10 I had about 10, the biggest was 17mm, I triggered the night of day 11 I believe and they retrieved 12, of course, only 6 were mature... Another IVFer had only 4 on day 5 and 17 on day 7, they ended up retrieving 20 something from her... So things grow a lot in just a few days. Don't lose faith... I'm crossing and hoping and praying for you both.
Adie- hoping for rising numbers!
sila and skj- So close to the second tri!
jpack- what did he say about the booster hcg? That is one of the things (I just want a trigger at all really) I want to ask before my ultrasound. I'm glad it sounds like he is listening to you!
chuord- Thinking of you, the months that just dont quite make the cut really stink.
daurelia- The emotions of infertility are just exhausting. Give yourself time to cry and then follow-up with your doctor for some answers. Thinking of you
Sending your packages out tomorrow morning- Sorry for the delay!
AFM- Freaking out a little bit, just pre-FET stuff. So much to consider and I forgot to call to see if my doc could see me before the big Transfer... poo. I'll have to try Monday. I also forgot to schedule my massage for next week. I've just been so busy. Somehow my typical PMS cravings are occuring during AF... It is annoying. I can't stop eating junk at night. I do so good all day and then come home and eat junk. So I am day 3 today and AF is still here (duh). I am feeling pretty good minus some bad news coming in... Anyway, just hanging in there, not much to update about. Got waxed today... so at least one thing is 100% ready for transfer...post #1193 of 15195/3/13 at 6:04pmTf - I found out a healthy choc style desert...
Equal parts coconut oil to 100% pure cacao (health food shop) melt them together (I double boiler) then add honey to sweeten to taste... You can further add chopped nuts or dried fruit... It's quite quick, very chocolatey, the coconut oil is great for you... In the fridge it's hard like chocolate, at room temp like a spread... Hope it helps!post #1194 of 15195/3/13 at 7:05pmpost #1195 of 15195/3/13 at 7:16pmThread Starterpost #1196 of 15195/4/13 at 3:07pmSila - hugs for you and your friend on her news... Sad as it is remember it is not your story... I'm a person who tends to absorb others issues in an attempt to help (which it doesn't) I do a mental aura cleanse, just visualizing my bossy and the space around it surrounded by a bright white cleansing light. It's a fine line between compassion and carrying someone else's issues for me...
Hope things settle for you and you can trust your body...post #1197 of 15195/4/13 at 8:04pmpost #1198 of 15195/5/13 at 7:55am
Sila - I'm so sorry for your friend! How sad. It's really tragic.
AFM - monitoring this AM - but no call yet. I'm anxious to hear what they have to say. We saw a fatty on the right - 16ish, but the others seemed to grow too, just smaller. I think there were about 5-6 that looked really promising and were in the 9-12 range, I think. I could be way off with the #s as I remember them. I just remember thinking that it looked so much better over all than it did two days ago. I felt like they all grew, even though the # may not really reflect it (and I had a different tech, which really seems to make a difference). For example, the next biggest on the R was kind a little under the fatty, so it looked like a 1/4 moon, So even though it looked almost as big as the fatty, it came out as little because one plane was short though the other direction was long (sorry if that doesn't make any sense). It all looks so different from my clomid cycles - rather than one giant and a bunch of itty-bitties, this looks more like one is just leading a pack of decent looking follicles. I guess my take-away was: If I controlled the universe, I would totally suppress my ovulation for a couple days, up the FSH and convert it into what looks like it would be a promising IVF cycle. Anyway, I'm looking forward to hearing the numbers. And I'm preparing to go rogue :)
Indie, I'm sending you lots of follie-growth vibes for tomorrow. Lots and lots. I hope so, so much that your numbers and ovaries blow away your expectations.post #1199 of 15195/5/13 at 8:59am
don't know if i've said it recently enough, but i do love you all so :)
sila - your poor friend. that breaks my heart. miscarriages are always a tragedy but the late ones really get to me... i'm sure it's hard not to take it personally. i think if there is anything i've learned through all of this stuff it's that the world truly isn't fair. i mean, i've sorta known that all along but this whole TTC/IF process has made it painfully obvious. there's a part of me that thinks that surely we will all be rewarded for these trials but then with seeing all the bad news over the past few days i'm reminded that sometimes things just suck. period. hugs to you and your friend.
chuord - i'm sorry it's looking like you will be sidelined this month :( i'm always amazed at your ability to stay cheerful throughout the setbacks. truly amazing and an inspiration, you are!
toothfairy - you are the best. thanks so much for searching through your history to share that info with me. i'm sure your nerves are ramping up as you get closer to your FET. will be sending out constant prayers for your little embabies. eat the vienna sausages, i say! :)
jpack - thanks so much for your support! i'm watching your progress with baited breath! things sound like they are picking up for you! will be refreshing all day til i see your E2! :)
skj - thanks so much for your thoughts on my cycle. you are my rock! i hope you are having a fabulous weekend with lots of relaxing into the reality that you really do have a healthy bambino in your belly!
msd - so nice to "see" you! let us know what's going on in your world!
adijean - hoping to hear great beta doubling news from you soon...
chrissy, daurelia, sherry - hope you are enjoying your weekend!
afm - nothing new here. monitoring appointment tomorrow. so far have had a nice weekend. trying to remind myself that there's nothing i can do about what i find out tomorrow, worrying isn't going to change anything so it's pointless. what i wouldn't give for a giant margarita right now. that would surely help me to relax... :)post #1200 of 15195/5/13 at 10:58amSo e2 was 145. They are having me just continue to stay at 75 (follistim) til another monitor Tuesday. Clearly not what I was expecting! But I guess it's good! I'll keep up with the opks, since fatty (at only "16. Something") looked so cooked to me. I'm almost done with my 900 pen- tonight will be day 10 of injections. I feel like I'm slow... But not out yet!
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