MsDolphin - I'm so sorry. Your disappointment is understandable. Hugs.
I'm scared for our injectables cycle.
Oh wow, I'm so behind you guys. I've had the flu, which has me completely freaked out.
TF, I am thinking of you so much. Please don't lose hope yet . . . keep the faith and just focus on sending good energy to your embaby. I'm sorry this is so stressful and emotionally hard!
SKJ, I'm so glad you are feeling good about your next cycle and how great that you have such a wonderful RE!! That's like gold!
Chrissy, I'm just so sorry you're going through all of this . . . it really isn't fair at all.
Indie, if it were me, I'd do the IUI. I tend to go "all in" with these things. Remember how unlikely a circumstance it was when I got pregnant. You just never know and you don't want to regret not giving it your all. But I know how hard these decisions can be!!
jpack, I would take the progesterone!!!
Following along closely, and sending lots of peacful thoughts and positive energy to each of you on here.
Chrissy, jpack, TF-- I don't know much about the numbers for betas and progesterone, so I don't even know what to say... Thinking of each of you ((HUGS))
MsDolphin, I always hate the first day of AF, especially. So disappointing. I find that as it gets to the end, I start anticipating ovulation and then I'm hopeful for the tww. Oh, that cycle of hope and despair is brutal!
Sila, when are you hoping do do an injectible cycle?
Indie, I would do the IUI...
Hi to everyone else!
A quick AFM... Had my visit with the RE today. My test results are all looking good. I was surprised, however, about how fast my antral follicle dropped from a couple of years ago. It was 6 for one ovary and the other was 8. Two years ago, it was double that for each one. Yet, the RE said 6 and 8 are really good for my age. I was kind of shocked actually, but maybe I've been deluding myself about the effects of aging. She again recommended I try Clomid/IUI, but then I told her that I had unused Gonal F from the IVF cycle that we didn't end up needing-- so she said, "Well, in that case, why not use it". So now it would be injectibles with an IUI, which our clinic calls 'superovulation' (I don't really see many on the threads referring it to that, maybe that's a Canadian thing?). We talked about egg quality, which is the issue I'm facing. Apparently, it would be so common for me to be getting pregnant early on but then losing it by the time my period rolls around (even if it's on schedule), and I wouldn't even know it. She gave me a % of that happening, but they don't know for sure because how would you measure that-- they only go by what they see in society in terms of women getting pregnant and having babies at the end, at certain ages. But then, those are statistics, and you can't put everything into that. I'm not sure if I mentioned it or not on here, but my good friend's mother was 45 when she had her, and that was 43 years ago. And there are a number of ladies on the 'ttc over 40' thread I've been on, who have had babies. *sigh* I don't know what to think about it all.
Questions: Any info anybody can pass along about antral follicle counts-- what does it mean to have 6 or 8, just in terms of the numbers themselves? And... Has anybody had bad side effects from Clomid, but not so much on Gonal F (or similar)? I felt like I went mental on Clomid, seriously... crazy.
SKJ, thanks for the reassurance. Can you help me understand how stimming works in relation to follicle growth? Let's say I had a AFC baseline for an upcoming cycle, then took the stim med-- would it be those same follicles seen at the baseline that would grow and only those ones, or, does the stim med encourage others (ones that cannot be seen during that baseline) to start growing, too? So essentially by the time you are ready to trigger, you would have lots more than at baseline? I haven't gone back and read all the posts on the thread-- have you done these IUIs or are you looking at IVF to maximize your chances, or are you just going to continue to try on your own? (I have read how you have been working with the docs, and getting evaluated.) I know others have always said, "It only takes one...". That gives me encouragement, and I hope you as well.
toothfairy, jpack, chrissy, ms d... i am feeling so much heartache for each of you. i am so hoping that there will be some good news coming out all of this. last night i woke up at 2am and couldn't go back to sleep until 5. i cried, i prayed, and when i finally got back to sleep i literally had a dream about the end of the world. crazy apocalyptic dream that i willed myself awake from just before me and dh died. WTF. there just has to be relief for all of us sometime soon.
jpack, i think i would take the progesterone until i had another beta that showed that it was a confirmed loss. i think. thanks for sharing your follicle info with me. i'm amazed at how strong and almost upbeat you sound! i want to bottle that fortitude of yours!
sila - miss you.
bebe - i hope you are feeling better. i've been wondering about you!
afm - i left a message for the nurse about my concerns about this cycle and can you believe the doctor called me back herself? i know i couldn't believe it. she assured me that everything was fine, that i would actually be triggering tonight instead of last night (as the ultrasound tech had originally indicated) which puts my ovulation/IUI on cd11. when i did low dose clomid over the summer i had two lead follicles (possibly even three based on my E2 results) on cd11 and had the iui on cd13. it's too bad that it screwed with my lining because i sure wish i could do something that would give me more follicles than just one. i know it only takes one but this is me we're talking about here. i don't have high hopes for this cycle but i do feel way more comfortable with this doctor. oh, and she will be the one doing IUIs on saturday so I get to see her again then. also, i got to ask her about my scans and if they indicated a return of endo and she said no, she did not see any evidence of fluid on my most recent scan. so that puts my mind at ease at least. one other thing, this one follicle was on my right ovary (the one that had and AFC of only 3) verses the left (with AFC of 5). last monitored cycle i ovulated the three from my left side. not sure if there is any significance but there you have it. if this cycle doesn't work, i think i may do one more IUI and then do IVF when i get back from hong kong. i just don't know if i can take the stress of and IVF cycle while getting ready for the work that we have to do on that trip...
Just a quick fly by...
I'm now halfway through my 3rd cycle. My first PPAF came when DD was 5 months. So I haven't been trying that long... I just don't feel like we can afford to wait. Actually, it's so nice to have this online community-- I don't tell my friends or family that we're ttc'ing, because I know that they will tell me to 'just enjoy the kids that I have''. They mean well, and for my parents, I just think they are so worried about me (I had a difficult time during late pregnancy and post partum with DD, because of placenta previa and depression/anxiety because of how medicalized things went). Anyway,I am all better and ready to get going with things, and I'm so grateful that I'm already cycling again, so that I can have as many chances of trying as possible. DD has just begun to STTN this past week, so no more night nursings which I am really thankful for. We were co-sleeping until a couple of weeks ago-- but with having the two little ones and being back in school (I've had to go back to my masters program after having had 2 years of parental LOA-- thank goodness I negotiated with them to do only 1 course per semester), I was starting to go a little mental with it (she was starting to turn into an all-night nurser, which is what DS became... and I didn't feel like I could go down that road again).
That must have been so hard to make sense of the opinions that you received from the REs... One says you need IVF stat, another says you don't... Then that one says you should continue with the Clomid/IUI despite your lining being affected adversely. I think it's good that the third RE is investigating things as she is-- you can get a through examination of things from the hormonal aspect, and then go on from there. The pregnancy loss specialist, what kind of hormonal checks did he/she do? Similar as to what this RE is planning on doing?
Sila, hopefully you can get going on things soon... even better would be a bfp so you wouldn't have to. What part of the process causes you to feel scared? If I have to go that route, I'm scared of all the stress of hoping/waiting to see if it worked... ugh
Sorry, I hate to come on just to talk about myself (even though I've been reading along, just not replying). DH is just so convinced that this is going to happen naturally. Yeah? When? Our history isn't great. Oh the eternal optimist. Plus I though we agreed that we are really just ready to be done and do what we need to do to move on. It's really frustrating me because he isn't taking our plans for next cycle seriously. We had to have the talk again today about how I need to order my meds for next cycle this cycle. It's not that I'm not hopeful, because I am, but I'm not. Understand?
Here's the thing, I feel like my on my own my hormones and reproductive system are just so messed up. Which is frustrating because in all other aspects I'm pretty much the healthiest person I know (excuse my ego) and I take it very seriously. I'm completely confused right now. I'm having signs of impending ovulation but am confused with my temps because they seem so high. Most likely since I've been temping almost a whole hr later than I have the last few cycles. It's freaking me out because temping is pretty much the only way I can tell if I've ovulated at all and I really want to know this time so I can plan ahead for next cycle. The last 2 days there has been the tiniest bit of red blood mixed with my cm (not spotting or anything, just when I wipe). To me it's just another sign of how messed up my hormones must be.
Right now I just want to do the injectables and end up pregnant. If it doesn't work I'm done. I'm not putting my body through any more and I'm not throwing our money at something that might not work. I'll continue acupuncture and we'll save up for adoption.
Sorry to dump on you guys. That's just where I'm at. I guess it's why I haven't been posting. I'll try to do better because when it's me I know I sure appreciated other's input ;)
Tenzins - The stress of all the monitoring appts, the financial stress, the stress of waiting to see if it worked, mostly the stress of knowing this is it for us if it doesn't work (even though I'm completely confident in that decision).
Ms D - I am so sorry. Hugs to you.
Bebe - Hope you're feeling better
Sila - Dump/rant away. It's what we're here for. The good, bad, and ugly.
Gtree - When do we get to see those boys? I can't remember but do you have names?
Indie - You're awesome
Everyone else - Hugs and love to you!!!!