Taking The Scenic Route to a BFP - Winter/Spring 2013 Edition - Page 18

[Shell77]

Hi Ya'll .... So let ,e try and get caught up here.

JPACK: I am so sos so so so so Sorry!! I am glad you are finding another dr. as well!!

TF: that is so crazy about the possibility of eptopic being higher in IVF...  I think you are going to be just fine and probably have a little lazy boy !! i am so EXCITED for you !!

Bebe: awwww I love pregnant belly's  so happy for you too!!

Gtree: I love casino nights ! , So a chinese au Pair? that is interesting... why chinese ? ( I am trying to learn Japanese UGH very hard!!

Indie: so when are you testing? you did have the IUI right? I am sorry i am so lost!! I really miss you all, Sometimes it is just so hard for me... But I am coming around.

Chrissy: did you burn yourself? how did you get a severe blister?

SKJ: Yay for normal HSG... are you trying again right away?

Dolphin: I would go for the IVF again myself if it wasn't so dang expensive!!

.... I miss Sherry

AFM: Well me and DH have been "trying" just doing the deed everyother day... sometimes 3  day's in a row, I have not been temping or taking any vitamins ... I have been drinking when I want , eating what I want and  working a lot, I have also been going to the Chiropractor for my back and neck , apparently i messed it up pretty good... I am not sure how, but we are gettting it better. I am on CD 12 with LOTS of ewcm and DH and I have been BD'ing like crazy ( TMI sorry) I did end up getting a small refund from my RE's office 1506.00 not a lot considering I spent 18,000.00 total :-( but I told them just to keep the money on the books for now , that we might try IUI again.. Not real sure what to do or where to go from here! We had a intern working at our office and she has been trying to get pregnant too... well she is!! i literally was so jealous i cried haha pathetic huh? I am glad we are not hiring her...I don't really want to see her belly grow and also she is a little back stabber... she likes to talk behind our back and she whispers... Definitley NOT what we need in our small office!! anyway, just stopping in to say HI and I have been trying to read along and i am silently cheering haha

[chuord]

Lol Chrissy! Sorry I know nothing about tests, I'm on my first month temping.. So hope to use opk's soon.
Jpack - I'm so impressed with how strong you are through this, big hugs! I love Disneyland - mind you I was 16 at the time lol.
Indie - I still have a good feel about you, but it might be this lovely positive relaxed attitude you have adopted... It feels like it will happen when it's right,
MsD - hope your new doc is as good as indie and skj's! More importantly hoping your dh goes along with whatever is right for you.
TF - lol you sound so happy and preggers now! That slightly relaxed vibe of your world is In your tummy now and the outside bit can just carry on. Wishing you a very safe pregnancy.
Gtree, bebe - it's so nice to have so many graduates around... It gives us all that bit more hope. 😃
Tenzins and SKJ - big hugs! (and anyone I may have missed)

Afm still several days till O on this cycle with no expectations. Had a bizarre day yesterday, my parents are in uk as dads mum went to hospital last week. We werent sure if shed come out due to age 95. For some reason mum couldn't send texts - then we got them all at once saying she was doing poorly etc. then straight after a text she had peacefully gone. Just very surreal in that order, this woman climbed onto the roof to fix her own tiles 7 years ago lol. I think the term was tough as boot leather. The last of that generation, I hope she found her husband. (70yrs married) oh and my husband found out a guy he studied medicine with has inoperable stomach cancer. His wife is a kidney transplant surgeon and my heart goes to them right now
Sorry about the divergence, I'm an emotional person and people suffering upsets me. Im hoping to push myself to live to the max and celebrate life more than ever - lol it seems better than wallowing (again)

[SilaMarila]

Jpack - Are you coming to Disneyland by me?!?!?

Shell - Same here. Lots of sex, staying hopeful. Not complaining though  Glad to "see you" and glad you got a refund! Any little bit helps!

TF - I have heard of ectopic in IVF. A friend's friend had it happen. I'm positive your babe is snuggle in your uterus!

Chuord - Cycle buddy! I'm sorry about your Grandma's passing. I lost mine a few days before Christmas.

AFM - Come on egg! Any day now! I'll be at a birth my M/Tues at the latest and Sat is a full moon so that egg better shoot out! It's raining and supposed to keep it up for something like 4 more days. Ugh. Monday it was 80 and we went to the beach.

[indie1976]

oh, chuord. So SAD.  I'm so sorry. My grandparents are still quite mobile and healthy but at the same time I'm seeing them slow down so much and I am going to be so heartbroken when it's their turn. And how sad about your husband's friend. Life really is short. It does help to keep things in perspective...

shell - so good to hear from you! i'm still very hopeful for you! and i think IUI is a great plan... but hoping you won't need it because of all that bd'ing! :)

jpack - i'm sorry you are regretting that prometrium. i hope this moves quickly for you. a trip to disney sounds perfect and you know why *I* am excited about that! i will keep a good thought out there for your doctor to be awesome and give you plenty of comfort and confidence.

afm - 5dpiui/7days past trigger today. trigger has already left my system. i seem to recall it being out of my system pretty quickly last time as well.

[indie1976]

sila - we cross posted - yes, come on egg! sounds like O has better timing this month? i remember the days and days of rain during the winter in southern california... hope it clears up for you soon!

[SKJ2011]

gtree - Wowza! You are almost in the home stretch! So, so exciting. Any pics of the boys for us??

Jpack - I'm sorry about the progesterone. It sucks, but I hope things move quickly for you. Have an awesome time at Disney!!! And, I really, really hope the new doc listens to you and has a real solution.

TF - I really don't think it's ectopic, but I hope the u/s gets here quickly to give you some peace of mind.

MsD - I hope you get some good information that can help you guys decide what comes next.

Chrissy - I don't know much about the saliva tests. Could your regular doc run the progesterone for you? Sorry about the cold and the cold

Indie - That's nice to have the trigger out so soon so it doesn't mess with your head. Hoping for that pink line to show up again in a few days!! When do you think you'll test?

Sila - Yay for O'ing sooner this time. Come on egg, please let this one turn into a take home baby!

Chuord - I'm so sorry about your grandmother and DH's friend. That's a lot of hard news to deal with. Sending you lots of love during this emotional time. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Shell - Hi friend!!! So glad to hear from you!. I'm glad you got some money back. And, I'm glad that intern is taking her belly elsewhere. I hope the BD'ing does the trick!

AFM - I"m CD 11 and still getting -OPK, so not worried about O''ing early anymore. Will be very interested to see how things are at my monitoring appointment tomorrow. It's a very odd thing to know so much about my cycle but not be able to try this month. I'm hoping the timing works out for next month and the doc doesn't find anything that will need treatment, causing us to hold off even longer...

[toothfairy2be]

Shell- im hopeful for you with IUI too, you just need on good egg! Its nice they gave you something back from your IVF, not enough IMO, but somes better than none.

Indie- are you going to contiue testing or wait a while? 7 days past is pretty fast to get it all out!

SKJ- Whats taking the eggie so long? Hope tomorrow they have some insight. Theyre only expecting one month off, right?

Chrissy- yuck. I once got plaque in my eye when flossing... (My own, thank GOD), but calling the doc to ask for eye ointment they thought I was crazy. I'll take note not to pop blisters...

Sila- hope the rain clears & your busy weekend + full moon = take home baby. Even I'd take snow over rain!

Chourd- so much sadness for one day. I hope youre taking time to process & heal. The death of someone you love is so hard. Thinking of you & sending some of your healing energy back in your direction.

[indie1976]

i don't plan on testing for a couple of days, no point really. the trigger being out so soon does mess with my head a little. worries me that somehow that is a bad sign. but i also pee like a mofo, always have, so i'm guessing i just metabolize it quicker than most?

[SilaMarila]

Indie - Wow that is fast! Yes, I think my egg is coming faster this month. Thank God! Today even hopefully. I just don't see all these symptoms continuing on for too many more days! Good for you keep holding out on testing! A peek into your future: once you have children, you start to not like the rain 

SKJ - I'm interested to see what you find out at your appt as well! That really sucks not to be able to try. I hope it is for the best and that when you can try, it works!

[chuord]

Thanks gorgeous ladies! 😃 I'm recovering well, sometimes I find a couple of days of letting yourself feel upset really clears the head.
Indie - keep with the positive upbeat attitude, don't let it get in your head... You'll know soon enough 😃
SKJ- hoping you get useful news that things can be sorted - the best sort of news, you've done such a good job at moving on and staying cheerful this cycle... It has to be soon for you.
Sila - I'm sorry too - Christmas is a bad to lose someone. Lol I still have 3 days till O according to ff and I'm cd15 already, so over my long cycle... Hoping you've had 'success' before then!
Shell - must've cross posted yesterday... I'm totally with you on the intern, aside from her attitude lol it's hard when others get pg so easily. The only friend I didn't feel upset about getting pg the last five years was one who was on her third ivf cycle. Lol funny though considering at age 21 she tried to find a doc to give her a hysterectomy so she didn't have to worry about birth control - a little extreme 😝
TF - when did they say they could do an u/s? I'm wishing it here for you already, then you can just relax and enjoy being pregnant. Has it even sunk in yet? Or do you still wake up surprised?
MsD and anyone I missed hugs and happiness

Afm - so tired from waking up at 6 to temp... I think mine is lower than normal (around 35.9 centigrade) anyway nothing else exciting here - yay for that 😃 no news = no bad news lol

[SKJ2011]

TF - I think I only have a one month break, but if something needs addressing, I guess it could push that back. I'm a little concerned that my lining is so thick. A friend of mine had a similar situation and went on BCP for a while to fix it. That's the kind of think I'm worried about.

chuord - glad things are well in your world.

AFM - Because I know you all care as much as I do about my follicle size, lining and ovulation, I thought I'd share some research I've been doing It appears that the size of a mature follicle can vary from cycle to cycle. I've read that in an unmedicated cycle, a mature follicle can be between 18mm and 30mm. One book I saw said 24-26mm. They grow anywhere between 1 and 3mm a day. So, if mine was 18 on Tuesday, it could be between 20 and 24 mm today. Also, I read that your lining should ideally be between 8 and 13 mm, with 15 mm and above being too thick. It appears that lining thickens about 1mm a day. So, my 11 should be about a 13 today. I'm having some mild O pains, so I'm thinking that I'll likely get a +OPK tonight or tomorrow and O either tomorrow or Saturday. It sounds like my lining is a little too thick, but my follicle size seems ok. Will be very interested to see how my research stacks up with the u/s tomorrow.

[Shell77]

I feel Horrible... That intern that was pregnant... well she isn't pregnant anymore. I still think she is not a very nice person, and i don't like her.... But i feel bad, that I was so jealous. Just venting about it a bit...

[MindlessChrissy]

Shell - Hugs to you. It's okay to feel bad for the intern.

Chourd - So sorry about your grandma.

Indie - So, um, what day are you testing?

Sila - Rooting for your egg to show!

SKJ - Thinking of you tomorrow!

TF - How are you doing?

AFM - We have a wood stove (how primative!) and I was putting plastic in it and some snagged on my ring finger. Have a nice 3rd degree burn right on the corner and over part of my nail. Well the blister was under my nail, which was interesting, and it wraps around the side of the finger. Been draining it at home but found it kinda icky when it drains. The fluid in it is actually cold. Weird. Finally stopped bleeding 2 days ago. Happy it's over and sad it's over. Supposed to snow tomorrow so I'll be spending the day outside with DS.

[indie1976]

skj - can't wait to hear about your appointment today! and thanks for the info on follicle size and lining! sounds like you might be escaping the "too thick" category though, right? actually, it sounds like you are rather healthy all around...

shell - be easy on yourself... i think it's natural for our first instinct to be jealousy over other pregnant women... even if they are women we love. and if they are ones who rub us the wrong way... then even more so. i'm sad for her, too. so hard to go through such joy followed but heartbreak.

chuord - totally agree that sometimes you just have to let yourself get upset, have a good cry, get really angry... and then your head is clear and you can move forward. that is rather extreme about your friend wanting a hysterectomy at age 21! good thing we can't always get what we want, huh? is O getting closer?

chrissy - so, are you like a prairie woman or something? wood stove? that sounds pretty cool, actually. but the blister not so much! so, testing... i'm going to wait at least until 10dpo/dpiui... that happens to be our anniversary so i know i will be itching to test.

this thread has been such a roller coaster lately. exciting news, scary news, sad news, waves of relief... i know we are all at different places at the moment, some grieving, some on top of the world, and some of us still in the weeds but plugging along... i'm just so happy that we have each other and i am thankful that we have a place where we can celebrate, grieve, and obsess all at the same time :)

[SKJ2011]

Shell - Oh, that's so hard. Don't feel bad though. We all have those thoughts.

Chrissy - Yikes! Ouch. I hope your finger is on the mend. Glad you get to spend some quality outdoor time with DS and that the bleeding is nearly over. Thinking of you.

Indie - I second your emotion. It has been a bit of a whirlwind, but it's so great to know that we can support each other through the good, the bad and the ugly.

AFM - drum roll please.... So, my 18mm follicle is now a 19mm follicle. So much for all my calculations And, my lining is a 10. It was an 11 on Tuesday. I had a different tech and a different machine today, so I"m guessing that the tech on Tuesday measured large and the one today measured small? I asked about my lining going down and the nurse said it was normal b/c it's at the right general range for ovulation, so it can probably vary a bit. She said that they would be worried if it was down to like a 4, but from a 11 to 10 is no big deal. And, she said I"m ovulating at the right time in terms of my follicle size. So, now I go back on Tuesday and Thursday to see how my LP is looking. I'm curious to see how my lining is then. I'm still waiting on my blood work results to find out about my vitamin D, DHEA, and RPL tests. Hope to know more this afternoon. I have to say, this has been a very interesting experience to get an inside look at what's going on without any pressure to TTC. I had a +OPK today, so I"m curious if I"ll O tomorrow or the next day.

[SKJ2011]

So, I heard back on my blood work. My LH was 45, confirming that I'm about to ovulate. My E2 was 147, which seems a little low. My vitamin D is 45, so not likely the cause of my piss poor AMH. And, my DHEA is 402. Still waiting on the genetic test results.

[SilaMarila]

Shell - I've totally been there. I felt the same. I beat myself up when the person I had cried over being pregnant before me lost her baby. We're good friends now.

SKJ - Things sound good! We might be cycle buddies. Did they take like 12 vials of blood from you for the RPL tests? DS was impressed with that. I'm sorry there is no explanation as of yet.

Indie - Why can't it just be all rainbows and unicorns around here? Sigh...

AFM - My egg is still hanging in there. I think it'll be today or tomorrow. I just had my first visit with a new Chiropractor (had to switch due to insurance and cost) and I'm really excited to be working with him. I apparently have some problems with my pelvis which he worked on. I'm hope it's boosts things in my reproductive area. At least all those nerve pathways are open now! I've been doing my seeds for 4days now...

I'm with Indie, so thankful that we all have each other! Have a great weekend everyone!

[MsDolphin]

Just checking in on everyone.

This journey has had many ups and downs of hope and sadness/dissappointment. For the first time, the other day I was feeling angry about the whole thing. I know life isn't always fair and we need to count the blessings of what we do have... but I was having a moment of being pissed off. I think it's because I know we are coming to the end of our road soon. I am trying to be hopeful there is still a chance of one more health baby for us in 2013.

[TenzinsMama]

chourd, so sorry to hear about your grandmother and DH's friend. That's a lot to take in at one time, for sure. I hope nothing but good things come your way after this!

Sila, that's great that you like the new chiropractor so much! That reminds me of a few months ago, when I had to find a new massage therapist... I had this guy come looking for me in the waiting room, and my first thought was 'wow, he's handsome' and I felt myself blushing, and it turned out that there was a mix-up-- I was to have the other guy. So, he comes out, and he is just as good looking. He is going along, and I discover how great he is at doing massage-- I'm pretty particular in terms of what I like for pressure. I'm thinking I'm pretty lucky, this one's a keeper. But then, I felt a drip on my leg... and then another one on my back... and then he says to me, "You find it hot in here?" and I'm like, Holy Heck, he is sweating and it's getting on me-- ewwwww!!!!!  What was I supposed to do? Anyway, needless to say I never went back!

SKJ, what was the reason you aren't supposed to ttc this month? That must be so hard, when everything seems to be lined up right now!

Indie, how are you holding up with the wait?

Shell, it's hard not to have those feelings. I think a lot of people do. I actually had a very close friendship end during my pregnancy with DD. She just had a really hard time with me getting pregnant, as she had been struggling for the past year... although at first she denied it vehemently, and then she kind of admitted it, and then went back to denial. A psychologist I know actually said that it is very common for that kind of thing to happen between women who are ttc'ing, unfortunately. I really grieved the loss, as she was someone I had shared everything with for many, many years and she was at DS's homebirth, we called her his auntie, etc. Well, a few months ago I found out from a mutual acquaintance that she is now in her 2nd tri, and her baby is actually due around the same time that DD was born. I'm still really sad about the friendship ending, and even more sad now that I know she's having a baby because we had always talked about how we would hang out with our babies, they would grow up to be friends, etc. She knew that I had two miscarriages (one before each of my kids), and that I had issues with IF, and if she could have been honest with me about how she was feeling, she would have discovered that I really could understand the emotional stuff that comes with not being able to have a baby for when you had hoped. I would much rather for her to have been honest with me instead of ignoring me for months on end and then coming up some lame reason why she felt she had moved on from our friendship. Probably the most hurtful thing is that she knew about all the complications I was having during my pregnancy with DD, and when she was born she didn't even acknowledge it on FB at least (why we are still 'friends' on there, I don't know... I should just take her off and finish the grieving process because every time I see that she is online, my heart hurts). Anyway, she doesn't post much on FB, just plays those games or whatever, and she's never mentioned a word about being pregnant on there... but when she does finally say something, I don't know what I'm going to do-- a  part of me wants to congratulate her and wish her well, but then if she doesn't acknowledge my gesture it will really hurt even more. Well, sorry for the venting on here about that! I have to find a way to move on somehow, it's negative energy!

MsDolphin, I'm fairly new on here so I don't really know your full story, but what I can say is anger is understandable, because how can you not be from time to time after riding the roller coaster of hope and despair with ttc'ing when it's not something we can just decide on, have sex, and then blissfully experience pregnancy.

To everyone else, 'Hi!".

Okay, here's my AFM before I have to get to bed for some sleep... I was super bitchy the last couple of days, DS has NOT been sleeping well for a couple of weeks now and it's really, really getting to me. How is it that DD starts STTN and then DS stops? Anyway, my poor DH to have to put up with me, not to mention, I've been impatient with the kids sometimes, which makes me feel really bad... Then yesterday I thought I saw a tinge of blood... put two and two together, and then yup, today I get AF. Lovely. Now I have to make a decision about what I'm going to do with the injectible IUI stuff.  Yes or No? So, I phone the clinic and leave a message saying that I want to go through with it. Never heard back all day today. Typical though at my clinic. So, I'm guessing they will call tomorrow. Part of me wants to keep trying on my own, but my gosh, I'm 43. It feels like every month that goes by, I'm getting further and further away from a bfp. If I do this, I sure hope I can handle all the stress and uncertainty of the 2ww, and then all those weeks of the first tri that are particularly worrisome for me.

ETA: for my next two assignments for my social policy course-- a presentation and then a big paper--I'm talking about infertility treatments not being seen as a medical issue

Edited by TenzinsMama - 1/25/13 at 9:06pm

[indie1976]

ms d - i am glad you got angry... i think we need to feel angry every once and a while. i am holding out hope for you that the ivf consult will give you some clarity about what's next ((hugs))

sila - did the egg drop yet?? fingers crossed for you! so curious about your experience with seed cycling...

tenzin - i'm sorry about your lost friendship... i can only speak from my experience as someone who still doesn't even have my first child - it can be plain hard to watch friends go through second or third pregnancies when i can't seem to get just one child. i talked a while ago on this thread about having shared my IF struggles with a long time friend who now has three children only to be told that she couldn't wait for me to have a child so i would be "part of the club". basically insinuating that she didn't quite know how to relate to me because i wasn't a parent. since then she hasn't checked in on me once to see how i might be handling things even though i had basically poured my heart out to her. so, yes, when she had her third child i could barely bring myself to hit "like" on her facebook announcement. we haven't talked since i took her out for her birthday a year and a half ago. yet i completely anticipate her missing or wanting to rekindle our friendship when i do have a child. and that will hurt even more because am i not good enough without a child? on the flip side, i have friends who have children, some who have known IF and some who haven't who have shown interest in my life and in my journey even though i don't have a child yet and i am forever thankful for these women. infertility sucks and it sucks that it can impact relationships.i hope you and your friend mend fences.

afm - 7dpiui today. have had cramping since 5dpiui and i know it's from the vaginal progesterone but man it can get ones hopes up! i schedule a hypnosis session for next saturday with a practitioner who works in the same office as i do. i figure i could benefit from it regardless of the outcome and i will definitely know the out come by then... happy weekend my friends!