Taking The Scenic Route to a BFP - Winter/Spring 2013 Edition - Page 19

[TenzinsMama]

Indie, thanks for sharing your story. It's good to hear your perspective on how you felt when you had the friend with three kids. It makes me really glad that I kept trying to reach out to her for so many months, despite the fact she was starting to act distant. I just got to the point where I realized that I was putting more effort into the friendship... I had all kinds of medical stuff to sort out with the pregnancy complications, and crying about the friendship wasn't helping me as I then developed ante-natal depression-- so then I just had to focus on getting myself and the baby through everything. I didn't want to take Zoloft as my doctor and midwives were suggesting, so I had to do other things to help my biochemical system sort itself out, plus I had to navigate through the complicated maze of midwifery and medical system (there is no shared model in my province, so everyone was confused about things). Ugh. I hope this time around, a pregnancy is without all of that. My DD is like my little angel, I always say, for so many reasons...

[chuord]

Back later for a real chat...
Tenzins m - maybe you should look into a kinergetics session to balance your minerals... Apparently magnesium (Epsom salt) is drained from your body during pregnancy - if you aren't getting enough it is (according to natural therapies) a huge cause if depression during and after pregnancy. At least it gives you another option 😃... If you take an epsom salt bath you should take about a cup per bath (absorbs well thru skin) I bulk buy thru a livestock place - its a supplement for horses, but about 5kg is only $10.

[TenzinsMama]

chuord, I'll definitely look into that. I love having Epsom salt baths after a massage, and I've used them for other things, too (e.g. ingrown toenail I had last summer). I will pass this idea along to a friend who right now is 32 weeks pregnant and she's been having a lot of anxiety. Maybe it will help her with that, too.

So, my clinic didn't call me back today, either. I'm starting to get frustrated with them. But then I think, maybe they aren't feeling a rush to get back to me since there isn't anything I need to do anyway while I've still got AF? I'm CD2 today. My question is, for an injectible IUI, does a person have to do any suppression before starting Gonal F, like in IVF? I'm trying to remember at what point it was when I was on the nasal suprefact, which is what our clinic likes to use for suppression... And what about baselines and monitoring (E2 and u/s)-- when are they done? I have an info sheet that the clinic gave me, but it's just a general overview and it talks about the monitoring as you go along, not when the process starts. Seriously, you'd think they would have called me today to let me know that they got my message, and if there's nothing I need to be doing right now, then great. Just tell me!  Also, there even may be a waiting list for this (our clinic is really busy all the time, because they don't just treat people from our province but others as well, since there aren't that many clinics in some places).

[SilaMarila]

Tenzin - No. My clinic isn't having me do anything before Gonal-f. I have to call and go over all of this again because it's been a few months since they told me, but as far as I remember I call on CD1, and schedule baselines for CD3 where they will teach me how to do my injections, then go in every other day for E2/ultrasound until ovulation.

[TenzinsMama]

Thanks, Sila. Our clinic isn't exactly known for it's expediency when it comes to returning phone calls; in fact, it's notorious for the frustration it causes everybody when it comes to that. You never get a live person when you phone, it's all automated and then you sit and wait for them to call back. Their messaging even includes the part, "We ask that you leave only one message per day"-- they actually expect that people are going to call and repeatedly leave messages about the same thing. Thank goodness they are very skilled when it comes to the actual treatment!  Anyhow, since it's located 10 minutes away, I had DH pop in to talk to them so we know what is going on. They have gotten my messages since CD1, and they said not to worry that I'm on CD3-- they will call in the first part of this week. I guess its common for them to wait for the woman's AF to be done, or close to that... ? Ha ha, I seemed pretty annoyed when I wrote last night's post, now that I have re-read it... I felt better when I woke up this morning (does anyone else find that, too, that things seem worse in the dark of night when you are tired from the day's events), I was even saying to DH before I sent him to the clinic that if it didn't end up working out that we were doing the superovulation this cycle, that maybe it was for the best... maybe there was a reason for it, it would work out better for us with school and other things that are going on, etc. But now I'm looking forward to getting the call from them later this week. I'll probably get nervous and wonder if it's what we should be doing, in a short time-- it can change hour to hour! The whole thing is kind of like waiting for a slow elevator to come... do you continue waiting or do you say to heck with it and just take the stairs. Do we ait and hope for a bfp to come naturally, or do we take the steps to help things along by just going with the injectible IUI... Once you head up the stairs, you don't really know how long it would have taken for that elevator to arrive. But at least with the elevator, you know it was going to get there sooner or later... My eggs, I wish.

[toothfairy2be]

tenzin- I like your analogy about the elevator. So true isn't it. We just don't know what could work or when. Sila already answered your question but it was the same when I did gonal-f for IUI, I don't think I had CD3 monitoring because I was already doing monthly treatments but the injections started the night of CD3 and I think I stimmed from CD3-11 maybe... 75 units a night. I hope they call you soon so you can get a move on! As far as your friend goes, through the infertility journey it seems the norm that friendships are affected. It is sad but true unfortunately. It is such a hard position where you stand because there isn't a lot you could do to make it better either way. It is really interesting about your topic choice for your papers. Is this something that will be presented to a group? It makes me curious to how they will respond to infertility issues.

chourd- that is really interesting about the magnesium. I've never head anything like that before! Does a magnesium supplement do the same thing or is the bath better? You are a wealth of information! How are things going on your end? Getting close to o?

sila- Did your mother deliver yet and/or O arrive? How do you like doing the seeds (do you make them like a powder or eat them whole)? 

shell- I can see why you'd feel bad after the fact but you can't blame yourself for that. I think any of us would have reacted that way being she isn't someone you know well or have a close relationship with. Pregnancy is hard anywhere but seeing it happen so easy for an acquaintance is hard. It is sad that she lost her baby though. Hope you and hubby get a happy surprise from all your trying this month!

indie- It is hard when you're living it to be hopeful (especially on progesterone) so I will be hopeful for you. The cramping could definitely be a good sign especially where you're at in your cycle. You always try the coolest things. Is there anything you are focusing on in your hypnosis session or will you decide when it gets closer?

MsD- Acknowledging the anger and letting it out feels so good. Hopefully it cleared some of the negative energy and you can go into whatever is next with a clear mind.

SKJ- That is crazy how different their measurements can be! It IS good though that your lining obviously isn't an issue and your follicle seems to be average size for ovulation (I'd guess she measured a little under though). Your E2 does seem a little low for having a mature follicle and being about to ovulate. I thought they expect about 250 for a mature follicle... or is it 500? Your doctor will likely address that though. So you go back in 2 more times in your LP and then meet with the doctor to discuss? Exciting that your cycle is half over and you will have full answers son! 

AFM- Still hanging out in limbo. U/S Wednesday to check for ectopic or for a sac/fetal pole etc. Just feeling tired. I think acupuncture helped a lot with the other stuff I was feeling, that or my baby stopped growing and thats why I have been feeling better. I hate this...

[SilaMarila]

I'm pretty sure I ovulated. My temp plummeted yesterday and shot back up today (though not as high as I would have liked it to). We'll see what it does tomorrow. I checked and my cervix it closing up and moving back and my cm is super thick now. I'm sure we completely missed it. The last time we BD was minimum 48 hours before I ovulated probably more. We were fighting the last couple days and it just did not happen. At first I was upset about this but now I feel like maybe that was what was supposed to happen and I feel more confident about next cycle.

Sooooo looks like I'll call the RE on Tues to confirm everything and order my meds for next cycle!

Ugh, I'm still trying to recover from our arguing. I feel guilty and like a bad wife and I'm beating myself up in my head about it...

TF - NO! She's tried everything. I'll be at an induction tomorrow  I was eating my seeds whole with the exception of the flax, but then I found some more information and it said to grind them to help release the lignans and oils. Now I'm grinding them in my little coffee/spice grinder. I started new seeds today - sunflower seeds and sesame seeds! I just put them in my smoothies, on top of salad or whatever else I'm eating. Hang in there until Wed!

[indie1976]

sila- yay for O! so sorry about the arguing and the guilt. hope you feel better about it all in the morning.

tenzin- i also liked the elevator/stairs analogy

toothfairy - i know that stretch of time between the bfp and the u/s will be the hardest time for me... hoping you will be crying tears of joy and relief very very soon

afm - no more cramping

[jpack]

Tenzin- its a hard story about the loss of friendships - no matter how you slice it. SO true about how awful things can become at night! I'm the exact same way. Sleep on it is really, really good advice - as long as it's not somehting that will keep you up! I  personally think it's lame that they didn't call you back, and I would have been super miffed. I'm with Sila, I call to announce CD1 and go CD3 but I haven't done injectables yet.

Chuord - thanks for your idea about the epsom salts! I could so go for that!

Sila - glad you O-ed and very sorry for your fight. Whatever it is, though, don't beat yourself up! It never helps... oh, and it's not CA Disney, sorry! Man, the tickets were cheap, though!

Indie - I have so many fingers crossed for you!

Everybody else... happy last week of January... I'm pretty psyched about that myself.

AFM - I've been so, so busy with everything from work to my dog's opthamologic emergency to this big stupid volunteer job I took on... I'm bleeding already (started day before yesterday, actually) which I am really happy about, cramping has been tolerable and now I'm just hoping I avoid the two weeks of spotting I've gotten before. It was kinda interesting, my HCG had only dropped to 106 on Friday, but my progesterone was down to less than 1. Anyway, I'm really excited about my new RE appointment the day after we get back from vay-kay. And the day after that I've got an appointment with a new therapist. I'm sooooo excited - she was on the RESOLVE website, she does hypnotherapy, and SHE TAKES MY INSURANCE so it's a $20 copay. I'm so, so excited. The only thing that I'm bummed about is that she couldn't take me until then - I feel like I could use someone now so that I can put this all behind me and really enjoy the vacation and start fresh. But I guess I'm doing ok on my own. I'd totally take any advice on trying in the cycle following a miscarriage... Just putting it out there... any thoughts?

[MindlessChrissy]

Tenzin - I'd be tetchy too if I didn't get a call back. hope they call soon!

TF - It's hard work incubating a baby. lol That's why you're so tired.

Sila - Fingers crossed for your cycle

Indie - Cramps come and go. Can't wait for your bfp!

Jpack - I usually have tried the cycle after a m/c but it never worked. This time I am taking the cycle off and will try next cycle. Sounds like you have been busy.

Hi everyone else!

AFM - Nothing new going on here. Have doc appointment for ds Tuesday then court on Thursday. It's a bit of a story but the short version is a nursing home wants a judge to decide what to do with my grandmas property. The judge is to decide if my uncle keeps half we sell half, he keeps half and buys out other half, or he gives his half back so the home can sell off property for what's owed to them.

[SilaMarila]

Fml. My temp hasn't gone up. My cervix and cm just called it quits. I'm over this.

[MindlessChrissy]

Sila - Hugs to you

Question. Late last night (cd11) had some pink spotting/cm. Still have it today. What is going on? Could I be o'ing? Never had this happen before.

[toothfairy2be]

Oh Sila -I'm so disappointed on your behalf. I'll hope it jumps up tomorrow.

Chrissy - that can happen because of estrogen before o. Probably just means its coming.

[MindlessChrissy]

Thank you, TF. Hope you're hanging in there okay. 2 more days!

Indie - Are you testing tomorrow or is it Wednesday?

[SKJ2011]

I'm in all day meetings, so just a quick AAM update. Will try to check in with personals tonight.

I'm 3 DPO, FF gave me crosshairs this morning. I went in and my u/s showed that my lining was definitely luteal and was 11mm. My follicle was gone, so the u/s confirmed ovulation. My blood work came back as follows: P4: 6, LH: 5, E2: 55. They told me to not have "romance". But, I'm sure I O'ed. Anyways, I'm guessing that my P4 is too low to confirm ovulation? But, with my second m/c, my p4 was only 8.5 or something, so I'm not surprised it's only 6 on 3 DPO. Anyways. Thinking of all you ladies...

[bebelove]

I'm thinking of everyone!! I am sorry I'm bad about personals these days, but I have been saying prayers and keeping you all in my thoughts. I will continue to do so until every last one of us gets a BFP!!!

AFM, I reached the halfway mark on Saturday . . . hubby swears he is sending me the photo tonight so I will post if this miracle happens. I should just take an iPhone photo of myself but when they try it's so darn unflattering!  So here's a random update -- you know how I did the Harmony blood work which rules out all the trisomies so that you don't even have to contemplate an amnio/CVS and my risk of any trisomies (including Downs) was 1 in 10,000 (which is the best result Harmony will give you)? Well so then, stupid me, I do the second trimester quad screen, for what reason I still do not know, because clearly my OB did not think this was necessary. Well, my risk of Downs came back 1 in 99, which is considered positive for my age and due date. However, they did put in the wrong due date initially, but despite having the lab correct it, it still showed as a positive result. So my doctor is not AT ALL worried about this, because Harmony is a much more accurate test, but still, can't help but let it play on my mind a little. Thankfully the U/S tech, who is awesome (he owns his own facility and is just amazing as far as I'm concerned) confirmed to me last night that all the "soft markers"--nasal bridge, nuchal fold, limb lengths and heart--showed no concern for Downs. Despite all of this reassurance, I am going to have a Level II ultrasound done on Thursday just for peace of mind. See . . . pregnancy does not get less nerve-wracking! My freakout before that was waking up at 4:30am one morning to this very prominent lump in my abdomen just next to my belly button. Of course in my mind I knew it was her, but I felt like she was stuck or something! So I couldn't get back to sleep. My abdomen in that spot was rock hard and protruded. When I rolled over it immediately went away. It has since happened again but much larger, maybe her head? CRAZY. Cool, but somehow scary? Anyway, that's the update lovies!! Wish me luck with the ultrasound. xoxo

[MindlessChrissy]

Bebe - Congrats for reaching halfway! DS used to stick his feet out around my belly button and it's be hard. Was worse when he stretched and nailed my ribs. lol

Everyone else - Where are you guys?! Post, post, post!

[MindlessChrissy]

Thinking of you tomorrow, TF!!!!

[SKJ2011]

HI Ladies. Time to catch up...

TF - Good luck tomorrow. I hope you have an amazing ultrasound and you are able to relax a bit. Early pregnancy is so stressful!

Chrissy - The spotting sounds like O spotting. I've had it a handful of times. I hope next month is the lucky one.

Jpack - Awesome news about the therapist!! That's so great. Sucks that she can't see you sooner though. So, I tried and got pregnant with the last m/c without having a period first. Of course, that one also ended early, but I feel like our bodies are better able to get pg after a miscarriage. Who knows why I think that. It only happened once out of three times. Anyways, I just temped and did OPKs. My cycles were fairly normal, just O'ed a little late after the m/c.

Sila - I stalked your chart and it looks like a nice temp spike today??

Indie - Thinking of you.

Bebe - It sounds like everything is going to be a-ok, but no kidding about pregnancy being stressful! Glad to hear you are 1/2 there. Good luck on Thursday!

AFM - I practially feel more pregnant than I've ever felt and there is 0% chance this month. How ridiculous is that! I was disappointed with my labwork this afternoon, but then I thought, if I had a perfect cycle, there would be nothing to fix. So, I'm glad that it seems like my E2 was low and my P4 is low, at least at 3DPO. Will be curious for my next appointment on Friday.

[indie1976]

hi ladies!

TF - thinking of you! here's hoping pregnancy gets a lot less stressful from here on out!

Chrissy - that spotting does sound like O... i've heard that spotting around O is a good sign!

Jpack - i've been thinking about you... hope you are well (enough). your therapist sounds great and so does an escape from reality (and where better to do that than disney!) i don't really have any advice on trying after miscarriage except that i did not try and i kick myself for that to this day... not sure that it wouldn't made a difference but i still kick myself for it.

Sila - hoping you really did O and it was just a delayed temp rise... 

Bebe - man, that DOES sound stressful... but so worth it, eh? I'm so excited for you to be 1/2 way there!

SKJ - i have no idea what P4 and E2 is supposed to be at 3dpo... but i love that you had a normal timed O! and that was hilarious about not having "romance". my RE calls it "relations". 

AFM - 11dpo, bfns abound. anniversary was yesterday. we took of work and went to Epcot. had a wonderful time but it was hard seeing all the couples with their little ones. but still, it was a fun and relaxing day. i'm holding up ok enough with knowing this cycle is a bust but that's mostly due to being busy busy busy with work still feel a background of sadness, though...