Taking The Scenic Route to a BFP - Winter/Spring 2013 Edition - Page 39

[SilaMarila]

So I guess I'm just one of those people that hang on to the trigger really long? Boo. Which is actually funny because with my losses my hcg goes down pretty quickly. I triggered Monday and it's Sunday morning and I still have a faint positive. I figured I could test it out since there is no way I'm preggo right now since it's so early. I'll probably test again before my beta. 
 

Jpack - 15 is good though! Were you hoping for more than one follicle? 

Skj - Feeling any different yet?

[jpack]

Thanks SKJ! Sila, I had five that measured between 9 and 12 on Thursday, I was hoping to see more than one because I get one on my own. On 100mg clomid, I thought I had a good chance at at least 2?

[SilaMarila]

Jpack - I only ever had 1 on Clomid. On 100mg and even on 150mg. Quite a few women do get 2 or even more follicles though. 

[jpack]

Damn clomid... that's all I've got to say on that :) Sila, good luck, I'm thinking of you! When I tested out my trigger, it never left, just got lighter and then darker.

[SKJ2011]

sila - ugh on testing out the trigger. And, with my d&c, the hcg stayed for weeks, but the trigger was out in 6 days. Guess it's all just a crap shoot.

If being a total b*tch is a pregnancy sign, then I'm good and knocked up otherwise, just crazy tired and waking up really early.

[indie1976]

chuord - hoping that cramping and temp dip/rise means something is cooking in there... :)

jpack - sorry about the one follie. i know i was how disappointed i was with the one follie on letrozole and injectibles. and yet on just 25 mg of clomid (literally had to cut the pill in half) i had three GREAT follies (but crappy lining)... i think how we respond to various meds is just such an individualized thing. it's what makes me so nervous about IVF... but on the plus side... maybe that one follie will be a nice strong one and that's all you need... 

sila - six days past trigger and a bfp... from my obsessive internet stalking over the years...that seems pretty common... i remember feeling like a freak to have the trigger out of my system that quickly. how much hcg did you trigger with? maybe that's the difference? i've only ever done 250mcg of ovidrel...

skj - ahhh... if only i had a good reason for being a b*tch :)

[toothfairy2be]

SKJ- anything goes when you're pregnant, enjoy every second!

Jpack- it's so frustrating t not have answers but I think the others are right that sometimes the higher dose isn't better. Abe try less next time instead of more (if needed). I'm still of the camp that you only need one good egg. Hope it starts growing though, the wait stinks. I wonder who will do my hysteroscopy & if they will use the same joke... Glad you didnt have your old RE, that'd be weird...

Sila- my trigger was still present at 11dpo the only time I checked. I'd think it would go faster bc didn't you only do 5k? Will you keep testing it out or are you done testing til next week?

Indie- I like what you said before about your time frame & waiting for your body. I need to adopt that. My biggest anxiety comes from everyone else having their kids & mine being left behind. You did 250 of Ovedril? I thought mine was 10,000... These drugs are so confusing...

Chourd- those both sound like good signs & the right time too.... Fingers crossed for a few days from now.,

AFM- I think I'm done spotting. I thought so a day or 2 ago & it came back. Im not doing OPKs because they won't be accurate if I still have HCG from the pregnancy, so just watching for signs of fertility. Tried to BD for the first time last night & it hurt like before I had my laproscopy. That same stabbing pain... Also my cervix is still low, that sucked too... Needless to say we gave up. I'm feeling pretty broken & sad about the whole thing. I just want to be normal.

ETA- I took a HPT just to check if it was close to being out of my system... it was totally dark like the control I'll probably just do it once a week since I am feeling pretty down after seeing that...
Edited by toothfairy2be - 3/10/13 at 3:33pm

[chuord]

Jpack - It's annoying that you haven't got a bunch if follies like you wanted... But I think TF, indie, SKJ and sila are right, either may e one will catch up or your body is just making one super awesome egg and that will be enough - here's hoping!

Sila - can't wait for that trigger to be out, and it being time for your betas! Fx!!!

SKJ - lol I'm feeling you on the bad mood, I had a (for me) mild headache last night and turned into Godzilla lol... Then back to sooky lala and so on - dh informs me that as AF approaches I've gotten more moody over the years - he's lucky I need his bits, a swift kick may have helped my mood 😝. I'm hoping that everything goes well tomorrow for you and we can break out the champers!

TF - thanks for the positive feedback, I Toyota between feeling out and in... I wish there was something we could do to help you with the day to day stuff - wrap you up in a cozy protective shell, or turn all the pg ladies invisible... At times like this words of support don't feel enough, at least know we feel your pain, and are hoping like heck that you get to where you can try again very soon. A new pregnancy may not heal your pain, but will give you joy for the future. Huge hugs to you

Indie - your happy spirit is always a joy to have around! So Friday did you have any procedure done? Or was that the check up for tomorrow? Hoping its quick and painless tomorrow... I've been working on pelvic floor muscles daily for 6 months or so - backfired for my smear test lol - I couldn't relax enough and boy did it pinch! As my mother would say I'm 'special' lol

Chrissy - how are things?

Gtree, bebe - hi there

Afm - ok will post chart pic as I've never done more than chart O before, I think it looks too steady to be normal (online images show fluctuations) anyway 10dpo today, will waste another test this morning, spotting yesterday - once - and another rise this morning, I feel hot all the time lol... Still assuming AF is coming, as since the psychic etc said around now is the time, I have a feeling I messed it up and don't want that huge disappointment when AF arrives

[jpack]

Oh, chuord, I feel ya on not wanting to psych out AF at the end of the cycle, hope the spotting stays away. It's a nice looking chart, anyway! fingers crossed for you... This could be a big couple days over here, ladies! Sila! SKJ! I'm looking at you three!

Oh, TF, I'm so sorry for how you're feeling. You aren't broken, my dear, just slightly ...misaligned. Something just needs a little tweak. And lots of women have bouts of painful intercourse! Big hug to you my friend!

Indie, Chrissy, what's shakin'?

I'm back in for monitoring Tuesday. Turns out the big one was 14, not 15. Plenty of time, I guess!

[chuord]

Thanks Jpack 😃 your awesome attitude is catching lol... Fx for you

[SilaMarila]

Uh Chuord that chart is looking awesome!

SKJ - I think the b*tchyness is definitely a good sign! So we BD last night and DH said after "ugh you have glue in your area!" and then tonight he tells me he would like his needs met again but he's afraid of my "paste" lol. 

TF - Hugs. Nothing about any of our journey's has ever been fast enough has it? Sigh...

Thanks about my trigger woes. Yes, I only did half (5,000). In the past I've done 10,000 and it was gone by 12dpo. SO I thought If I did 5k it would be out like 6 days after? I went back and looked at the test and it really isn't as light as I thought at first. Pretty dark actually. So I guess I'll just wait it out until closer to my beta.

ETA: Another thing, I'm feeling like they had to have injured me when I got my IUI's. It's like someone punched me in the uterus right above my pubic bone. What the heck.

Edited by SilaMarila - 3/10/13 at 8:16pm

[chuord]

Ooh sila, I think that sore pinched feeling is a good sign, those eggies could be having a party lol. And thanks for the feedback 😉

[SilaMarila]

Chuord - How's the chart looking today? Or I'm confused maybe your already on tomorrow down there...

SKJ - Did I miss if you are going back for a second beta or not?

[SKJ2011]

I went in this morning for another beta. Should hear results this afternoon.

[jpack]

SKJ - Fingers and toes crossed for you - how's that mood today?

AFM -So I thought I had plenty of time... but I just did an OPK and it was pretty close to positive. It'll likely be positive by tonight (usually I get an almost positive then a blaring positive within 12-24 hours - but then there's the delay of it making it into urine...). I'd sure like to trigger with my natural LH surge. I go in for monitoring tomorrow AM. They told me not to use OPKs, so I'm not running for the phone to call and ask what to do, but I guess all I can do is BD tonight and wait for monitoring in the AM? Any feedback or thoughts?

[daurelia]

Hi guys! Happy Monday!

I spent most of Friday and the weekend away from the computer so there is clearly a LOT to catch up on here!
 

SKJ-- wow. I cannot believe that story!!! You got Nurse P in trouble by going behind her back to the doc? That is hilarious. I cannot believe they lost your results (and then found them). It sounds like everything is progressing in a good way, all positive signs, and I can't wait to hear back for your results later! It's true, it feels so unfair that to have a baby we can't just be excited at a positive test and we have to go through all this... but you may be out of the woods soon. Thinking of you.

TF- How are you doing? I know this cycle is just healing for you, but I get you are eager to get this show on the road. I've been thinking of you. Hope therapy and trip planning is helping you heal. You asked me the other day about what a NOLA conference is-- I just meant it's a conference in New Orleans. I work in gerontology research (aging). While it's not my research expertise I actually am really interested in oral health for older adults as a side-interest :)

Sila- are you still itchy? Any symptoms yet???

Jpack-- sperm's eye view. HILARIOUS. definitely laughed :)

Chuord- I have fingers crossed for you that that was implantation spotting and NOT AF!

Indie- It sounds like your new doc is great. Did you make a decision about the two months of lupron? I know what you mean about being OK with age but also anxious to figure things out and find out where your eggs are :)

OK whew, that was a lot to catch up on! I hope I got everyone.

As for me. I spent the weekend alternating between really blue and just OK with it. When I take a step back, I remember that I am only 31, I have a long time to figure out my fertility issues, and in the meantime I have a very full life with friends and career and a great husband etc etc. It's still just really hard for me, though, which I know you guys all understand. 

I also keep wondering what went wrong last cycle. I think hubby and I started doing it too early in the cycle, this time I'm going to have us hold out until closer to O.

My period was super late, which was annoying because there was a tiny bit of hope (despite it being 15 DPO and lily-white tests). It finally got here today and now I'm ready to start over. I'm going to resume acupuncture-- all the times I got pregnant before I was doing acupuncture, so that has to be something...

[SKJ2011]

jpack - I'm all over the place. I really hate betas. What cd are you? Can't clomid give false +opk? I'm pretty sure I read that. I would just dtd just in case. How's your cm?

chuord - your chart looks great!!!

daurelia- still sorry abt the bfn. And, what a tease with a late af. I made cookies for R,P, and DWM. It was a peace offering to the pregnancy gods. Hope it worked.

sila - lovely abt the paste! I have to say that I'm so happy to not be on crinone.

afm - had another u/s this morning. Lining still looks good. The nurse said they are doing the u/s to check lining and make sure it's not ectopic. I should know my labs in a few hours. The plan is to go back Thursday. In general, they want to see me twice a week until there is a heartbeat. Then, I'll go in once a week until I'm released to my midwives at 12 weeks! I was surprised, but happy by that. I'll wean the meds around 11 weeks. I'm feeling So worried abt things. I guess it makes sense bc of my history. I just hope it's not my intuition, but just my fears.

[SKJ2011]

results are in. Not good. E2 dropped to 192 from 250. Progesterone dropped from 40 to 23 and HCG went from 78 to 157. I'm expecting this to end just like the others...

[SilaMarila]

Oh SKJ, I'm so sorry about those results. It sounds like the fact they are monitoring you so frequently is helpful and I hope it can give some idea of what may need to change if there is a net time. I know it's hard to hope at a time like this, but if you aren't that hopeful, I'm here to be hopeful for you (but not annoyingly so). Tell me if you want me to stop. I don't doubt intuition and instinct one bit, I just know that for me when I'm not hopeful at all, it some how eases my pain just a tiny bit to know that some one somewhere still has a little hope for me.

[SKJ2011]

Thanks Sila. I just emailed my doctor to see what her thoughts are. I had the not so helpful nurse call me, so there are a few outstanding questions. I'm just at the point where I need to think about how bad I really want another child. If this doesn't work out, this will be my 4th loss in 12 months. And, I was just realizing that I've gotten pregnant 3 out of the last 4 times we tried. I just don't want to keep going through this and subjecting Maia to an unhappy mom. Maybe this is a sign that I just need to move on with my life.

I totally agree. If you ladies have hope for me, that helps a ton. It's too much to hope at this point, but I'd love you all to prove me wrong

The biggest worry I have is that I've been really crampy all day today. I seriously thought AF was going to show up a few times. I know early pg cramping is normal, but it has me worried.