What would you do? Pro-vax friend requests a "warning" - Page 2

[marsupial-mom]

I think you should tell your friend you don't vax and why. I don't think you should be secretive about it.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Originally Posted by MamaMakingMemories 

You're probably right; this post might be more appropriate under that heading. I don't know how to move it now, so if a moderator wants to do that, that would be fine with me.

I can move this for you...

[IdentityCrisisMama]

This thread is now in the "I'm not vaccinating forum" per OPs suggestion.  

OP, I think I would tell her. I like to give people the best possible assumptions and would just assume that she was feeling stressed about her choice to vaccinate and the fact that others make different choices. I'd assume that she plans on making rational decisions. 

[cocoanib]

I for sure would not reply on FB.

I would only say something to her if she called me to schedule another playdate.

Other than that, it's none of her business and I prefer not to set myself up for unecessary confrontation.

[kathymuggle]

Originally Posted by cocoanib 

I for sure would not reply on FB.

I would only say something to her if she called me to schedule another playdate.

Other than that, it's none of her business and I prefer not to set myself up for unecessary confrontation.

I would let her know if she was planning a playdate.  I think she would be wrong to avoid a playdate over vax status, but parents have a right to be wrong, you know?

I am not sure I would tell her for things such as the church you both attend. The truth is there are lots of undervaxxed kids and adults milling about - you could let her know that so she can avoid large group setting if she likes, but I am not getting into the specifics of my family choices for mass events.  

[Turquesa]

I might comment (on or off FB) without answering her question: "Just so you know, only 8% of adults are up-to-date on their vaccines, including TDaP, and these whooping cough outbreaks are affecting the vaccinated an unvaccinated alike. In your shoes, I'd pay careful attention to where the outbreaks are occurring and consider quarantining her for protection. That's probably what I'll do with my kids."

I can't remember where the 8% stat comes from, but it's easy to look up. :smile

Anyway, doing this allows you to onvey some empathy, present the facts, and hopefully avoid disclosing anything uncomfortable.

[Chloebelle]

Originally Posted by Turquesa 

I might comment (on or off FB) without answering her question: "Just so you know, only 8% of adults are up-to-date on their vaccines, including TDaP, and these whooping cough outbreaks are affecting the vaccinated an unvaccinated alike. In your shoes, I'd pay careful attention to where the outbreaks are occurring and consider quarantining her for protection. That's probably what I'll do with my kids."
I can't remember where the 8% stat comes from, but it's easy to look up. :smile
Anyway, doing this allows you to onvey some empathy, present the facts, and hopefully avoid disclosing anything uncomfortable.

Exactly.

I would find a FB request like that to be annoying. Hopefully that mother is BFing. IMO, that is the best way to protect your baby.

[Jenni1894]

Originally Posted by MamaMakingMemories 

I should say that we attend church together, and it is a pretty small church. We see each other on an at-least-weekly basis.

Does/will the baby stay in the nursery?  Is she asking the parents of the kids in the nursery?  Or the kids at the playground?   Or the passers-by on the street/store? 

I wouldn't end a friendship over it.  It sounds like she is a new protective mama.   I'd not respond.  Ignore it.  I mean, if she's coming over and your kid has pertusis (for example) then yeah, I'd mention it! lol  But really it's none of their business.