Decluttering baby gear & fertility issues

[crunchy_mommy]

Well, DS is 4yo now and we've been TTC #2 basically since he was born & no luck... I have some hormonal issues & a chronic illness so who knows when/if we'll conceive! The more time goes on, the less hope I have that it will happen, and for multiple reasons we aren't looking into adoption anytime soon.

So all the baby gear... I can't decide if we should keep it? We do have the storage space (attic) but we could lose our house within the next year or two, so I really want to declutter. Plus I hate to hang on to things indefinitely, and I don't want to hoard stuff we aren't using. At the same time, I'll probably cry if we do get rid of everything, because it almost means I'm giving up on my dream of having a big family!! And I really wanted kids close in age.

By gear I'm mostly talking about cloth diapers, baby clothes, swing, bassinet, carrier, favorite toys, etc. The car seat will probably expire soon so that might be one to get rid of while it still has some lifetime left. We never really used some of the bigger items (playpen, stroller) so I guess we can at least get rid of those. The thing is, we do not (and likely will not, for the foreseeable future) have the money to replace anything if I did manage to get pregnant... especially not pricier items like our diaper stash. We do not (and will not) use birth control so we could conceivably get pregnant any time and I don't want to be totally unprepared! We also no longer have family to pitch in & help with baby supplies the next time around (a lot of these items we couldn't have afforded without family help!)

[Christine08]

I would hold on to the more expensive and classic items while you have the room to store them. Anything that will get "old', you didn't use or will expire like the car seat go ahead and sell/donate. You can always give away any of the items you are storing later if you no longer have the room to keep them. I just went through this process so I can understand the emotions involved

[mkksmom]

Been there, done that. First thing I had to comment on was how upset I was that my girls are a little more than 5 years apart. So stressed and just so' sad about it. Turns out, I love having them so far apart. They play together (2 girls) and really are best friends. They don't compete like other sisters do. They actually share quite easily. Plus they both got one-on-one time with me.

As for decluttering, I felt like letting go of it was giving up on having another baby. Now, I realize differently. Once the new baby came, there were many things I reused, but some stuff, I just wanted new. You can get a swing off of craigs list or at a consignment shop and just wash the cover. The diapers... 5 years later some of the elastic was shot. Some worked ok, but different diapers work for differently built kids. I'd save enough clothes to get through a week and just a few extra special pieces. Good luck with everything. I know it's not easy.

[LeighPF]

Different situation, but in a tiny apartment I really liked storing my baby things at other babies' houses where they got used. You could also sell things now and save the money to buy them again (used) if you needed.

[Nazsmum]

 Just my 2 cents- Save what you think you CAN use again. Like a highchair can come in handy for guest with kids. Or that Sling that you just LOVE.

Funny thing is as soon as a gave away the last of the baby stuff we had a bigg surprise baby. I will pray the same for you.

[kt~mommy]

i'm in your same position, except i'm also recently divorced on top of the years of fertility issues, so my hope for a family is quite indefinate.  Here is what I eventually resolved: if it's easily replacable, or difficult to keep (e.g baby wraps i can find again as i never went for the rare htf ones, cloth diapers i'm afraid will loose elasticity in storage and i'm storing hundreds of $ worth of things i may not be able to use... figure i can use the money elsewhere now, and if more kids are in my future, i can re-buy pretty easily).  bigger stuff like the crib (unassembled and stored), carseats, swing i am keeping becasue those are so pricey to have to purchase again and i wouldn't get near what i paid if i tried to re-sell.

hugs to you, i know exactly how you feel. for me it was a long process of grieving the loss of what i had planned for myself before i could start getting rid of things.  I am still grieving and am not sure if that will ever end, but my beginning to sell offf baby stuff started off when a friend who also struggles with infertility got her adoption referral. i was really happy for her and it made selling one of my lovely wraps easier because i knew it was going to a great home :)

lots of luck.

[mummamilk]

Soon after I gave up and gave away my maternity clothes I was pregnant.

Save the things that can have another purpose. Also save the must have (to you) and hard to find.