…..Philosophical discussion for fun…..
This conversation is meant to be among RU (not a term I like - but it fits the bill - those who apply USing to their whole life) or those who are seriously thinking about RU.
Does RU extend to medical decisions? Does your child get to decide if and when to undergo medical procedures?
A few examples to get the ball rolling - anything else you can think of to add to the discussion is fine. None of these examples are personal.
1. You and several orthodontists think your daughter is a good candidate for braces. You have had several "second opinions", the issue is not going to resolve itself..what do you do? Does DD get the final say (she is 12) on whether or not to get braces? She knows if she does not get them now, she might end up paying for them as an adult herself.
2. Your daughter (also age 12) wants the HPV vaccine. You are not so sure. The readings you have done are not convincing you of the safety. DD is afraid of cancer, and disagrees with you on the risk of the vaccine. You think she has doen a little research on the topic, but not as much as you. What do you do? do you sign the consent form?
3. Your DS goes to school. He likes it, but has serious trouble with attention that might be affecting his grades. The teacher and doctor have suggested Ritalin, which did seemed to be working, but your son did not like the side effects. He is happy with his "C" grades, but you are worried about how these marks might affect his future. You have tried alternative ways to help him focus but nothing works like the Ritalin does.
Personally, I believe kids should get a lot of say in medical decisions. It is their body. I do believe in discussing issue with the kids, but try to be cognizant of when discussing becomes badgering, and I do believe in taking "no" for an answer.
I think whether something is elective or necessary does come into it, but knowing what is necessary and what is elective is truly tricky. Take Ritalin for example: some people would put it in the necessary category (that it addresses a chemical imbalance in the brain ) and some would so it is not necessary - people can absolutely live without it.