Weekly Chat ~ Jan 7 - Jan 13 - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[Quinalla]

Originally Posted by eepeepee 

Originally Posted by Quinalla 

Had the anatomy scan today and confirmed it is a girl and a boy! 

Yay!  Little Jaime and Cersei!

Haha, exactly

Paceman, score on the clothes and shoes and the thank you card with a gift card sounds very nice!

CoBaby, it took me awhile to get interested in making progress, I might still be dragging my feet if it weren't for twins. If it makes you feel better, our nursery is full of the remaining junk we haven't gone through yet and all the baby stuff just sort of piled up together. The only reason it is somewhat setup is we never took down the crib and changing table from DD. But after this weekend, that will be the next project we tackle I think as I'm pretty sure DH wants to repaint that room and then try to get new carpet in the upstairs, though our room may wait, not sure yet.

aHikaru, thanks and thanks for the good luck wishes, we'll need them for sure.

FarmerMomma, I'm sorry to hear that but I'm glad you at least know what is going on now. How frustrating for you though!

Told family, friends and DD's daycare about the news and everyone is excited for us, but also wishing us luck with two infants and a toddler at once. I'm definitely mostly excited with lots of eek! moments thrown in Oh and they also check my cervical length as that can be an indicator of preterm pregnancy, so I got to have a vaginal ultrasound too. Everything looked great there too so that's good.
Edited by Quinalla - 1/10/13 at 11:15am

[adventuregirl]

Katie - congrats on the boy girl confirm, that is awesome!

Farmer - so sorry, but also glad for you that you were able to have that conversation. I hope you guys are able to work on it productively.

CBM - I have done very little as well, the baby's room is still solidly my office. Although we are starting to accumulate some things that have been given to us, so the little clutter pile will probably motivate us to get started. I feel like a part of me is avoiding it, ha. Really what I need to spend time on is figuring out what CDs to get, things have changed in the 9 years since I last shopped for infant CDs! And those are the main things I need, cause I doubt anyone is going to be dropping a load of those on my doorstep! Its going to be really cold here this wknd and DD will be at her dad's, so I should maybe snuggle up by the fire and get started on a registry.

Thanks everyone who plugged chiropractic care, I went yesterday and am going back tomorrow. I found an awesome chiro who specializes in preg and I really liked him. I slept more comfortably last night than I have in weeks and my back feels so much better! I really needed some release in my spine, ahhhhh... I also have a massage scheduled for tomorrow, yay!

[MarieWalter]

I found a midwife here (Germany) who can attend a homebirth in May! I really thought I had exhausted all the options, but after calling the local midwives' association I had one more name. She lives about 80 km away but said she's not concerned about the distance as 90% of the ride is Autobahn :p

I called today and we have a meeting set up (here at home) for Monday. I really felt good about her on the phone - she was very kind, her English was good, and she said something to the effect of, "by the way, it's important for you to know up front that you can change caregivers at any time for any reason" which I really appreciated, especially since she knew she was my last option for a home birth midwife.

Can't wait to meet with her! 

[nstewart]

Originally Posted by CoBabyMaker 

 All of you are making great progress on baby things and I still have very little sense of desire to do that yet.  It's starting to weird me out that I'm not more interested in it.  I keep telling myself it's because we have to make bunk beds for the girls (and move DD2) before I can redo stuff in what will be Decker's room.  Maybe I will smile really nice at DH and see if we can work on the bunks this weekend.   I sort of feel more interested in organizing and storage than anything else right now, it's kind of weird.  Anyone else not really done much?

If it makes you feel any better, the only thing that I've done is buy a co-sleeper.   DH and I are even having a hard time with names!  And since we aren't finding out gender, we have to pick at least one of each. lol.  I am more anxious I think to get DS organized - DS and the babe will be sharing a (small) room so we need to figure out a bunk bed situation and how to position furniture.  I made the mistake of going on pinterest and found some pretty cool bunk bed ideas that would involve DH building something, but we just need to figure out spatially how to get the most bang for our buck out of that room before we commit.  I want to get that, and the playroom figured out before babe arrives, but time is a 'ticken!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by FarmerMomma 

So I followed some sage advice about being upfront and asking my boyfriend for a key. So glad I did cause he said he's not comfortable with us moving in. Good to freaking know. I wasn't sure if I wanted to but wanted daddy to be able to see and help w baby as much as possible. It's a hard call wether he's gonna help me more or stress me more. He thinks he's gonna stress me and my son more. I probably oughta believe him. I told him that the relationship wasn't gonna move forward without counseling.

  I'm sorry this is how the conversation went, but glad that you found out his feelings now rather than later.  I hope that however things go down you can move forward with confidence.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarieWalter 

I found a midwife here (Germany) who can attend a homebirth in May! I really thought I had exhausted all the options, but after calling the local midwives' association I had one more name. She lives about 80 km away but said she's not concerned about the distance as 90% of the ride is Autobahn :p

I called today and we have a meeting set up (here at home) for Monday. I really felt good about her on the phone - she was very kind, her English was good, and she said something to the effect of, "by the way, it's important for you to know up front that you can change caregivers at any time for any reason" which I really appreciated, especially since she knew she was my last option for a home birth midwife.

Can't wait to meet with her! 

YAY!  So glad you found someone and that you are excited about her and clicked!!  I've heard the Autobahn is pretty kick-ass but have never been on it myself.

Well, SO glad this crazy week is done!  Work trip went well, and the hotel I stayed in this time had a REALLY comfy bed so I actually had the best sleep that night in a long time!  Go figure!  Otherwise the week has just been crazy at work, plus DH was sick, and we had to keep DS home from his dayhome one day because their sewer backed up into the basement!  So I did not get any Christmas decorations down or anything, and so getting those put away and my house more organized will be the goal for the weekend.

Also, I'm pretty excited because I just went online to research preschools for next fall, and there is a French Immersion preschool in a church literally 3 blocks from our house that I didn't know about!  They are having an open house next Thursday so I'm pretty excited to check it out.  DS is attending Parent & Tot at the Waldorf School currently, and we both enjoy it, but it's a 40 minute drive each way from our house.  Plus I've pretty much decided not to send him there for school due to the cost and the distance, so French Immersion is our second choice (DH's family is francaphone so I'd like DS to speak French too) and there is a good French school (elementry) just a few blocks away.  Question: Do you all think 3 is too young for preschool?  The sched. looks like it is 2, 2 hour mornings per week and it does look play based, which is important to me as well. If we go to the Waldorf School again next year he'll be in Parent and Tot which is also play based. Thoughts?

[nstewart]

* Sorry all, for the multi-post!  Not sure what happened!

[nstewart]

* crazy computer!

[nstewart]

* crazy computer!

[nstewart]

* crazy computer!

[CoBabyMaker]

Glad I'm not the only one who hasn't done much!  (Though we made some big progress toward it today.)

FarmerMama, I'm sorry!  I am sure that was a hard conversation to have but I am glad you spoke up.

Marie, That is AWESOME that you found a midwife to attend your birth! 

NStewart, That's great that you found a school for your DS.  I would normally say that 3 sounds young for preschool but 2 hours, 2 days a week of play-based learning sounds GREAT.  If it was more serious I might shy away but as is I think that sounds awesome.

Well, we decided to make the trip to IKEA today to get bunk beds (DH originally wanted to build them from scratch then changed his mind.) and a cabinet for the kitchen.  It's about a 2.5 hour trip each way and the trip over went really well.  The kids had fun exploring at IKEA, trying out all the chairs  and couches.  We got to hit up our favorite burger joint for dinner too-yum!  The 55 degree weather felt heavenly compared to the 25-35 degree days we've been having.  We even made it out of Sacramento before 5 o'clock traffic!  It was a great family day.  On the way home the forecast "snow flurries" turned into chain requirements.  Other than having to drop $65 for chains and taking 4.5 hours to get home it went smoothly (if slowly) and we made it safe and sound.  I'm so glad that DH is good at driving in the snow because I would have been a mess without him.   I don't know when we'll have a chance to actually assemble the bed but it's hear now!  That means soon I can start on baby's room.  The new cabinet in the kitchen means better storage too!  Hooray!

[timesway]

Cobaby- yay to bunk beds!! Ikeatends to make me lose my mind generally but its still strangely compelling and fun to explore glad you've got somewhere tho.. Im at a similar stage I think.. I sortve have been wanting to go crazy on it all for awhile now but my spare room was piled to the ceiling with stud I had t sorted since moving in.. Anyway I went through it with 2 of my friends the other day and we just went For it.. I think we got out 5 bin bags and 3 charity/ free cycle/selling bags.. And I can now get in and out at lest. I still need to sort my paperwork and clothes and the bookshelf in there to make more space but progress is definately happening now I also found out I have been given a bouncer, cot, carry cot, baby seat some reusable happy stuff and apparently a tonne of other stuff .. Will be interesting to see what I will have left to buy in the end.. Hopefully not too much as I'd prefer to spend money getting my house up together before baby's born so it can grow up in a nice environment rather then having lots of unnecessarily expensive new things.. Apparently most he stuff I've been given is neat new anyway!

Marie walker-so pleased u found a midwife .. That must be a relief..

Nstewart-I used to be a play worker and we had 2 year olds in a similar scheme .. We found they struggle a bit at 2 bu by 3 they did better if there was routine

Quinella- you sound so excited by your confirmation of big/girl twins, so happy for u

Adventure girl- I really need to get back to my chiro.. The mix of my back hips and SPD along with awful odema is making day to day life quite difficult .. Miss my sessions.. Glad your feelin better for it

Farmer momma- your bf sounds like mine! Doesn't have a clue what's goin on in his head!! I'm glad u sortve know where u stand but at the same time it's not nice /.. Mine changes his mind 10 times a day as to what he wants and it gets so confusing .. Men hey?!

Amanda-woah you've got tonnes done.. Sounds like a productive week are u back to work now?

Ah sorry I hart been around much.. Just been a bit out of it all the time.. So exhausted, odema aches like mad, and spending my time between mine n bf's house which is lovely but confusing at times.. We keep arguing which I hope is due to the fact he has lots of outside stresses and we are both tired but we'll see:. We argue or he says he's not sure he can do this but then he goes off and doesn't want to spend time apart when I suggest it.. We'll see how it goes.. We are both I'll ATM with some kindve chesty cold sinus thing.. An trying to convince him to go to drs mon.. But I'm goin whatever as I need my iron checked n my chest also had a rash on my tummy and the other day a rash on my boob that was purple n didn't go with a glass.. It faded in the end and when I didn't get drastically I'll we decided I'd bruised/grazed myself from scratching too hard but seemin as I'm generally user the weather I'm gonna get checked out.

I feel like having done nothing I'm finally preparing for baby. I realised it could quite feasibly be only 14 weeks til baby comes.. Potentially less if baby's early .. That feels very soon bearing in mind how fast the last 14 weeks have been!!
Edited by timesway - 1/12/13 at 5:45am

[jacquelinej]

I'm here, but I should be sleeping...

Sorry I'm not up on all the happenings but congrats to those who have gotten stuff done, and to Quinalla on boy/girl!

FarmerMomma I'm sorry to hear about that conversation but at least you know exactly where you stand in this.  I hope you can think long and hard about how to make this a good situation for you and your family.

We are moving in 12 days back to Boston.  We have been sorting/packing/selling/giving away tons of stuff.  I just want it all done.  I am so ready for this torture to be over.  I have so much going on, I don't always remember what it is I am supposed to be doing.  Between finishing grad school applications (4 schools), the move, finding a new place to live, buying a car in MA, finding a doula, handling the paperwork in Japan that we have to finish before we leave, trying to visit our friends before we leave...I am ready to collapse.  And I know that's not all I am doing, there's more but I can't remember it right now!

DH has a severe case od tendonitus (tennis elbow) in his left (dominent) elbow.  He can't do as much to help out which is really not helping things.  He is taking care of all the box packing which is huge.  But I have to lift everything, even the 50 lb boxes for weighing.  He started seeing my acupuncturist this week for the pain and was highly doubtful about the effectiveness, but is now a believer.  His arm is getting better, I just hope it gets better faster! 

Had to hash out the mother (my mother/his mother) visitation schedule today.  It wasn't pretty since we are both tired but could have been a LOT worse.  The issue was that DD has to visit her father in March and I wasn't too keen on the idea of DD flying non-stop by herself (7 year old w/ ADD/ADHD - makes me a little nervous).  But this is the solution that we have come up with to prevent my mother being with us for longer then 6 weeks, which is already a long time. My mother was going to escort DD back to Boston and stay longer.  DH said, basically, no way (she does drive me insane, but recently has made an effort not to be so infuriating).  Then he said it would be OK for his mom to stay for 3 weeks, but my mom only 2-3 days??  I was taking a lot of deep breathes at that point.  I have never meant my MIL in person (she lives in New Zealand) but why would he think that his mother would drive me less crazy then my mother?  We had to desist and try again a little later so we didn't overreact.  

He's still not getting how much life is going to change come May...I fear that come April I won't be doing much at all, and he will drive us all crazy because he won't feel he is getting enough work done since he will have to feed us and clean up/wash dishes & clothes.  And he still has this idea that the baby is coming on a specific day so we can just plan everything out for that date.  He just doesn't get it, despite how many times I've told him!

[eepeepee]

Originally Posted by jacquelinej 

We are moving in 12 days back to Boston.  We have been sorting/packing/selling/giving away tons of stuff.  I just want it all done.  I am so ready for this torture to be over.  I have so much going on, I don't always remember what it is I am supposed to be doing.  Between finishing grad school applications (4 schools), the move, finding a new place to live, buying a car in MA, finding a doula, handling the paperwork in Japan that we have to finish before we leave, trying to visit our friends before we leave...I am ready to collapse.  And I know that's not all I am doing, there's more but I can't remember it right now!

Let me know if you need any suggestions for Boston-area doulas - I just got off the phone with my sixth (and final) doula interview!  

[FarmerMomma]

Thanks timesway for understanding. Men yeah, and men baggage oh yeah.

Just wrote long post and lost it. :-P.

Great day with yoga and bunny watching.

Boyfriend says he's gonna come up even though he's ill. Me and DS too. I miss him so.

[BaileyB]

I'm another one that hasn't been around much this week, or at least the last few days. All I have wanted to do is eat and sleep. I have some of my same first trimester symptoms like sleepy all the time, insomnia, starving, and a little nausea, but I think that is from eating so much at once. Today I went and got a new pregnant lady out fit, haha. It wasn't really maternity clothes but more like everything stretchy. I am down to 1 pair of non-sweatpants that fit but they are being held together with a safety pin, and the newer sweatpants that I didn't mind wearing out got a caulk stain on it. Don't wanna be walking around with caulk on my pants .

Timesway - I was thinking yesterday that 14-16 weeks left feel like a long time but now when I see you say it, it seems like a short time. I bet it will go by fast.

Not too much baby prep going on here. A while a go I went through and sorted our baby clothes and cloth diapers and I have set up the pack n play in our room but that is really about it. I keep meaning to work on the baby's quilt but then I end up working on play dresses for DD for the summer. I made some khaki colored fleece maternity pants 2 days ago but I didn't do a very good job with the seam up the butt and they started to come apart when I tried to wear them today. Oops!

FarmerMomma - Sorry the conversation with BF didn't go well. Hopefully he is just trying to sort out how he feels about having a baby etc and nothing that can't be worked out.

[FarmerMomma]

I truly believe that boyfriend is concerned that living with him(especially in "his" house) will be stressful for my son and me. I do appreciate the concern and feel it too. It would be a lot of change for both of us. The part that bothers me is he just says this is the way he is and he's had trouble living with people in the past. But we are going to share a baby and he hasn't done that before. He doesn't know what it will be like living away from his baby and don't ask momma of a newborn to move buddy. I have concerns with how he and my son have gotten along though I have seen improvement. I think in the long run it would be good for my son to have a father figure but stress level may explode with so many changes/ sacrifices and so little sleep. I have been a single parent a long time. This is going to be an adjustment even if we don't live together, what someone else gets a vote in this?
Anyway I have new excitement for staying local. I'm looking at buying a newer car. Love my outback but it needs more work than it's worth. My friend found me one, with half the miles on it close by on Craig's list, I called her up and knew her from MOPS club. Cool beans.
I must be nesting here now cause I have a major idea (almost a plan) of shifting rooms. Old farm house. Hard to heat. My bedroom has been the biggest on the west side of the house (coldest usually) with most windows (crappy old cold windows) funny I was inspired on the warmest day of winter. DS has co-slept in my room. So shift DS's room to sleeping room much easier to heat and have my room as kids room with lots more space for 2 kids. Could put a small bed in if DS wants to move out of family bed. Still would be tons more room for 2 kids. And a big project like this would really make me go through all my stuff. Hmmm. I don't really need a big fancy bedroom. It's a big mess anyways. I need a bed and smart storage. I wouldn't be giving up the fancy pretty room cause we'd all play / homeschool in there in the daylight even. I still have a sewing room that is my own upstairs. Don't want to move kids or bedroom up there. Hmmmm. I'm not gonna resent this am I?

[timesway]

bailey b-yes i was thinking the other way first.. then i remembered how fast the last 14 weeks have gone.. i cant believe we are half way through january already!!  Do you think the extra stress lately with the hospitals mite be adding to some of your nervousness? i know im finding it hard to relax about everything still because of my past history of recurrant miscarriages. i find it hard to accept ive managed to get this far tbh!!

Jaqueline- be careful with boxes!! sounds very stressful.. hope accupuncture helps n your husband feels much better soon.. sounds like hes also having a bit of a struggle coming to an understanding of what parenting will mean.

Farmermomma- again that sounds familiar.. me and the bf aer having a night apart to see how that goes.. its so frustrating when you really love someone, and your going to be bringing a child into this world together.. but it just seems so difficult.. i think its better tho that we live this split life together then if we lived a split life as ex's.. we shall see how it works out.. your idea sounds good tho about the rooms :) i dont think you will resent it.. i like to think that my space will become our space when i have the baby and i would want to share it out equally.. and 2 children compared to one me in my mind would win i think..

Im exhausted.. went to the drs today, got blood test done to check iron, dr says i have a virus and that my asthmas a bit flared so upped my inhalers a bit.. will see how that goes.. been feeling extra light headed lately hoping that will ease soon as i was soooo happy to be doing better strengh wise!!

also my spd is SO bad.. feels like i have tooth ache in my groin.. OUCh.. anyone else got spd? j

just found out ive been given a tonne more stuff by random people and got offers of a car seat and lots of other stuff.. i also bought some boy clothes bundles on ebay to try and help me feel a  bit more prepared..

[jacquelinej]

Originally Posted by eepeepee 

Let me know if you need any suggestions for Boston-area doulas - I just got off the phone with my sixth (and final) doula interview!  

Yes, any suggestions would be helpful!  Also, I'm looking for used cloth diapers, any idea?  Other then craigslist?

[jacquelinej]

Farmer Momma,

Room usage, im my opinion, all depends on how much time you spend in the room.  If you spend a lot of time in the room doing activities other then sleeping, it should be larger.  If you only sleep in it, it should be smaller and easier to heat and cool and keep

organized.  I can't stand sleeping in a room that is messy, it drives me batty, but I am weird about that.

Of course, these rules don't apply to my husband, who spends 8-10 hours a day working in his bed!  He would be happy with a closet and a bead as long as there was a door to close.    Oh and the piles of laundry too, let's not forget those for the man still acting like a bachelor at times.

[scary biscuits]

also my spd is SO bad.. feels like i have tooth ache in my groin.. OUCh.. anyone else got spd? j

Hah! Yep, I do and that is a really good way to describe it:) It's been worse today because I've been out pushing a stroller in snow, not fun:)

Oh well, I saw my midwife and it went really well. I'm seeing a team of midwives and this was the first time with this particular midwife and she was really cool. We went over my ultrasound results and all is well as well as everything else with this little one. She was actually really happy with how laid back I am not worrying about everything:)

The one thing she brought up that I am undecided about is the gestational diabetes test. I am leaning towards declining it since I didn't have it last time (didn't decline it, my doctor didn't think I needed it) Don't have any of the risk factors and am not thinking I have it, but maybe I should find out for sure? What do you ladies think?

And not to be a total cliche, but what's the deal with men? ;) It has been pretty stressful around here lately. My husband and I have been in counselling for a few months now and things have been intermittently better and worse, but a few days ago he told me that a (girl) "friend" of his kissed him and it has been very tense. He didn't kiss her back and told me as soon as he could in person and I am sure I can get past it eventually, it's just waiting for eventually to happen:) Oh well, enough venting for now, time to put a toddler to bed:)

[timesway]

Originally Posted by scary biscuits 

Hah! Yep, I do and that is a really good way to describe it:) It's been worse today because I've been out pushing a stroller in snow, not fun:)

Oh well, I saw my midwife and it went really well. I'm seeing a team of midwives and this was the first time with this particular midwife and she was really cool. We went over my ultrasound results and all is well as well as everything else with this little one. She was actually really happy with how laid back I am not worrying about everything:)

The one thing she brought up that I am undecided about is the gestational diabetes test. I am leaning towards declining it since I didn't have it last time (didn't decline it, my doctor didn't think I needed it) Don't have any of the risk factors and am not thinking I have it, but maybe I should find out for sure? What do you ladies think?

And not to be a total cliche, but what's the deal with men? ;) It has been pretty stressful around here lately. My husband and I have been in counselling for a few months now and things have been intermittently better and worse, but a few days ago he told me that a (girl) "friend" of his kissed him and it has been very tense. He didn't kiss her back and told me as soon as he could in person and I am sure I can get past it eventually, it's just waiting for eventually to happen:) Oh well, enough venting for now, time to put a toddler to bed:)

oh how glad i am (sortve altho not for u clearly) that i am not the only one.. im glad i dont walk at this stage.. infact i know i couldnt by now because i can barely crawl on my worst leg and im doing a bit of limp crawling atm and getting about a metre at a time then curling up in a ball.. my condition sortve gives me a permenant spd in my whole body  already (well not spd but i have massively lax ligaments everywhere and can do any yoga position, contortionist shape etc.. could be useful if u didnt get the down sides but also dislocate 100s of times a day and have heart/kidney/gi probs just to make it annoying.. but anyway.. point is.. its always so lax around that area i cant walk.. so add to that spd and im a mess.. are you using any supports or anything? my physio gave me a hip/pelvic support before i was preg and because it was a bit big on me it fitted me for ages through preg and she told me to start wearing it all the time a while back..  but it doesnt really fit now without being really uncomfy on my tummy or really pointlessly loose on my hips.. so i have been refferred to womans physio to get something i can wear more regularly..

Is this your first preg? or have u had this before? if so how did u find it got by the end and how did it affect birth? (this bit scares me!)

*hugs* about the stuff happening with your husband, that sounds stressful.. do u find it hard to get by because it makes u realise other people could try it on with him again and he mite not resist? or because u dont trust/believe him this time? or just because it hurts that someone tryed to kiss the person who you are having a baby with? it does hurt when things like this happen.. and i guess it depends on the reason its upsetting u so much as to how you move on from it. I think once u know what it is about it that scares you, perhaps full honesty and telling him why it hurt so much mite help. Maybe explain that being pregnant can make you feel vulnerable at the best of times and stuff like this just sends you off the wall could help?

..

Anyway i need to get myself up and out the house.. but i had the weirdest dream and im feeling a bit shaken..so i'll do it in a minute.. argh.. so tired.. hope you all have a lovely day :)