Daughter is starting to get over weight - Page 5

[ameliabedelia]

I haven't read this whole thread, but have read most of it.  I think the major things you need to do are

1) change the entire family's eating habits to a healthier, more whole-foods diet.  Get rid of all the processed junk and learn to eat whole, simpler foods.  This can be a learning curve, so I would start by making baby steps.  Get rid of cheez-its and eat carrot sticks or fruit instead.  Replace the ramen noodles with a basic recipe you learn to make yourself that you can make in big batches and keep in the freezer for quick meals.  A simple recipe might be something like rice noodles, with cut-up roasted chicken, chopped broccolli and a healthier (ie. no msg or other junk) soy sauce

2) Accept that your daughter will never be as thin as you are..she is a different person and built differently.   Everyone is different and 5'5" and 147 pounds is within the healthy rate range...maybe at the upper end, but still within it.

3) Don't assume that she is going to just keep gaining and gaining until she ends up at like 250 pounds.  A healthy person with a healthy diet and healthy metabolism will not keep gaining weight..their weight will stabilize.  You daughter may continue to gain some, as she may still be growing some..but as long as her diet is healthy and she has some activity and she isn't binging, she isn't going to end up obese or antyhing.

[mtiger]

Originally Posted by amber3902 
Also, I have to admit I like Chef Boyardee, Cheeze its and Ramen noodles because they all have a long shelf life.  I can buy several and they can sit in the pantry for months without going bad.  Whereas if you don't eat fruits right away they'll go bad and then you've wasted your money.  But I just have to be more on top of it to make sure they don't go bad before they're eaten.

And the above are so bad for you! WHY do you think they have such a long shelf life? (Hint: Preservatives, sodium, etc.) Your Marie Calendars meal is not a heck of a lot better. I swear - I do not even buy that stuff in case of an emergency.

Does cooking from scratch take more time? It can. BUT... You can also cook more than one portion at a time and freeze. In other words - build your own stock of "fast food". Just healthier. I often spend a day on the w/e cooking in bulk (used to do it more when the kids were  home). Invest in a crock pot. You can toss a lot of slightly worn veggies into a stew, casserole, sauce, meatloaf. Slightly worn fruit? Make muffins and add them. Then freeze individually. Seriously - almost ANYthing you prep from scratch is going to be better than a load of preservative-laden crap. AND cheaper in the long run.

And I still recommend getting your daughter to cook with you. I cannot tell you how many young women do NOT cook at all. And then they perpetuate the pattern you have with your daughter. (Note for all - get your sons into the kitchen, too! When they grow up, and they find a gal who doesn't cook??? They will thank you for making sure they could. Trust me on this.)

[phathui5]

I would toss (or donate) the Cheez-Its, Ramen and Chef Boyardee. They have no nutritional value, so they're all what another poster called "empty calories."

Fruit does go bad sooner, but you can get canned fruit (packed in juice, not syrup) for snacks/meals or frozen fruit for baking and smoothies.

For our kids' snacks, we buy organic yogurt, applesauce cups and string cheese. I try to keep apples and bananas on hand, though they often get eaten within a day of purchase.

[amber3902]

Well, this thread started off on the wrong foot, but I think I've gotten some wonderful suggestions.  I think in the past year or so since I've been working and going to school part time I've gotten into some bad habits.  Thanks for the kudos on working and school, it hasn't been easy being a single mom, working full time and going to school part time, I'm very glad it's over with.  In the past I didn't always eat a bunch of junk, for two years I didn't eat fast food of any kind, it's only been lately with going to school that it got hard to have time for home made, healthy food.  But I'm done with school now, I have my associate's degree and now I have more time to prepare meals and take my girls to physical activities.
 

I guess you could say we fell off the wagon, so to speak.  I think I was also concerned because I recently saw some of my daughter's cousins on their father's side of the family.  These girls were about my daughter's height and weight a few years ago, and now they are obese.  I'm not talking a few pounds overweight,

I'm talking 150 pounds overweight.  Everyone on her father's side of the family is overweight, and

I started worrying that that was going to be my daughter in a couple of years. 

We have the Wii at home, and the other day I bought the new Just Dance game for my girls.  Me, my D14 and D7 all played it last night and had a great time.

I also used to buy a lot of fruits, like strawberries and grapes, so when I went to the grocery store last night I bought baby carrots, apples, cucumbers, and popcorn.  My girls love cucumber slices with salt and pepper and I'm sure pop corn is better than Cheeze its.  Just a few tweaks to get us back "on the wagon".

*Water update*

I also remembered hearing from somewhere about putting baking soda in your water.  I tried that and it kept me from getting bloated.

So for those of my fellow water challenged friends you may want to try that.  Just a little sprinkle of baking soda in the water helps keep the bloating feeling away.

Thanks for all the encouragement, maybe one day I'll be able to help someone on here in return.

[journeymom]

I know what you mean. Some of my dh's many siblings are obese, they're all overweight.  I'd be an idiot not to take that into account when considering my kids' health.

[nd_deadhead]

I've skimmed through all the posts, and only once did I see what I think is the most important question of all:

OP, how does your daughter feel about her size/weight?

If she is comfortable with her weight, that's great! You both could still benefit from healthier eating. If she feels like she is overweight, or headed in that direction and wants to do something about it, you could offer some suggestions.

I have rarely been what I would consider "skinny" (except for one summer out of college, when I couldn't really afford to eat). My Mom struggles with her weight, and I saw her do Weight Watchers and various diets. Over the years I've learned a lot of weight loss tips. One of my sons developed a bit of a spare tire in high school, so we talked about what he could do to reduce it. I don't think he ever weighed himself, but he judged by how his pants fit.

- Portion control is very important. Before taking seconds (or thirds!), I reminded my son to think about whether it was his tummy or his mouth that wanted more food.

- Using a smaller plate makes a small portion look like more food.

- We have never made our kids clean their plates at the table. They often leave a few bites of food on their plates.

- I reminded my son that it took a long time for that extra weight to get there; it was OK if it took just as long for it to go away.

- It's better to eat healthy snacks between meals than to be starving and eat too much at mealtime.

It did take a while, but my son did lose some weight, and kept it off for a year or so - until he started college and lived in a dorm. After just a few weeks he found himself gaining weight, and decided to do something about it. Fortunately he had the tools and knowledge to make changes to his eating habits, and by Christmas he weighed less than he did when school started.

[mar123]

It's really interesting how people can weigh the same and be built so differently. My 14 year old daughter is 5'4, weighs 141 and plays basketball- JV and varsity. Her measurements are 35,24, and 36. She recently lost about 8 pounds because SHE wanted to. She is active and eats well. She would get a little tummy on her right around her period, but that was it. However, she wanted to lose wieght. She changed her eating: more protein, fewer simple carbs, started running 2 miles a day when she doesn't have practice or a game. In a month, she dropped the weight hshe wanted.

I have fought my weight my entire life; DH never has. My kids are normal weight for their height, but all know they need to be careful. They will never be the kids who can eat without gaining. (My hubby was until he hit 40. Now he skips ice cream and drops five pounds, LOL)

[mtiger]

Well done, Amber! Switching up some of those snacks and incorporating physical activity into your routine is the way to go. My mantra is "moderation in everything". You CAN have some of those junky snacks, every now and again. As long as it is an occasional treat and the rest of your diet is pretty healthy.

I LOVE Stauffers Mac & Cheese. Just love it. But I cringe at the amount of salt it has. Yes, I know - my homemade is so much better, but... I still love it. So I allow myself to give in maybe once a month. Satisfies that "itch", and I'm good for a while. Give it time, and you all may be able to do the same.

[whatsnextmom]

Originally Posted by mar123 

It's really interesting how people can weigh the same and be built so differently. 

I agree. My DD 15 has always weighed far more than she looked. Twice her doctor has had her re-weighed because she couldn't believe the numbers. DD looks like a bean pole. However, she's actually on the heavier edge of "normal" for her height. She's got that runner/dancer muscle and extra long legs and arms. Looks light... isn't really.

[meemee]

you know OP you are worried about your dd and here after reading the whole thread i am really 'worried' about your own health if you have been living off of what you have written you were eating.

forget ur dd. forget her fat. 

focus on healthy eating as a family and hanging out physically as a family.

visit the eating side of this website. there are many suggestions of healthy recipes. dd and i are vegetarians and i can cook up a meal in 15 mins plus 10 minutes prep. 

because i am so busy i chop my veggies over the weekend and when i make beans i make a huge amount and then i freeze them.

it helps to have my prep all done. then i have choices of what to throw together to make a meal. 

watch out on the fat for all of you guys. it can get v. addicting. nuts and cheeze are great, but be careful you dont overdoze on them.

take a look at myplates and get a good balanced meal. i really would focus on yourself to get back on healthy eating. i think at this point your health is more important than your dd's - esp. if you have heart issues in your family. 

limit fruit juice and fruit - even fresh fruit. meaning keep an eye on it that you dont eat a whole pineapple. too much sugar. 

i would not drink anything with your meal. either drink a half hour before food or after. i would keep away from even baking soda too. its getting your body used to 'help' that you dont really want now do you. ten years down the line you still dont want to be drinking water with BS do you.

OP let me say this society does not support healthy eating at all. it is VERY VERY difficult eating healthy food. i am surprised you have been able to work out a great program with your dd. most teens have a hard time letting go of junk. 

i struggle with this all the time. it is VERY hard for me to give up junk. i would say 60% of our diet is junk. most cereals i would call junk. even the best ones. the rest of the food others call junk i dont even call food. things like ramen, soda. soda especially. if you have time i would advice you to take a nutrition class in your community college. you will be blown away by discovering how much junk you really eat. 

it is this junk that is spreading all over the world and making people obese. obesity is not just limited to the US any more. it is spreading all over the world. interesting it is esp. spreading in countries which have macdonalds. 

i sympthise with you OP. Wonder Bread from the what was it 20s or 30s started the processed food generation and can you imagine in a 100 years we have forgotten how to eat. what is good nutrition and how to cook. we eat only 10% of variety that our grandparents ate. 

it is tough, tough TOUGH. junk surrounds you everywhere but you have to be proactive and win.

my dd at 10 finally understands good nutrition and can stand up to the kids who tease her about teh food she brings to school. 

i am trying to clean up my own diet and take out the junk out of my diet. it is all so addicting. i've been trying since last month and i havent been able to have one clean day. my dd supports me a lot in this endeavour. but the moment i step out of the house - i fail.

[Banana731]

Small steps can lead to big changes. Good for you, Amber. There are times in most of our lives when for one reason or another, our eating habits are not where we'd like them to be. Trying to do a little better all the time is a good place be

[journeymom]

Meet the person where they are now. Start from where you are now, and make those baby steps.  OP, if you come across great sale on pineapples please don't hesitate to take 2 or 3 home.  If it's replacing Cheez Its or Chef Boy R Dee or Kool Aide, feel free to eat a whole one in one go. 

I guess I'm tripping over the pineapple example because we don't get a lot of pineapples and just a week ago I found pineapples for $1 each. So I got one and the 4 of us devoured it in one shot.  Gosh it was good.  Very satisfying and guilt-free from a mom perspective.   Squarely in the 'doing it right' parenting column.  Our thing is ice cream, so for that day our bodies got a big shot of vitamin C and fiber along with the sugar we would have been having anyway.  And no fat.

[journeymom]

Meemee, I'm not sure what's wrong with putting baking soda in your water? I mean, to me that sounds fairly unappetizing, but if the OP likes it and is drinking it instead of soda or punch or whatever, that's a big, big win.  She should continue it for the rest of her life, if that's what it takes for her to choose water over sugary drinks. 

And I'm not sure what's wrong with drinking water with your meal. In terms of replacing existing unhealthy habits with new, healthy habits, drinking water with your meal is, again, a big win, if it means you're choosing water over soda, etc, regardless of whether you drink before, during or after a meal.

Edited by journeymom - 1/17/13 at 9:22am

[OrmEmbar]

I would like to add 2 more things to the idea list:

1)  Breakfast in your most important meal of the day. (even if you don't feel hungry - FYI - caffeine suppresses feelings of hunger, so make sure you get a bit of food in before that morning cup)  Have it include protein, carbs and good fats.  This makes a world of difference for those of us who find we crave sweets or caffeine or a nap around 2 or 3 in the afternoon.  Breakfast that includes all 3 (protein, carb, fat) could look like this:

- whole grain toast with nut butter (at least 2 pieces for growing girls!)

- eggs & toast (add meat, nut butters, veggies to make it even better)

- baked oatmeal  http://kellythekitchenkop.com/2009/03/healthy-breakfast-recipe-from-sue-baked-soaked-oatmeal.html

- hot cereal WITH whole milk yogurt, nuts, dried or fresh fruit, butter or coconut oil, whole milk etc.

- french toast (1 egg for every 2 pieces of bread and a spash of milk, butter or coconut oil, maple syrup)

- sourdough pancakes with eggs or meat (these cook super-fast)

- baked ham and eggs (put slice of ham in muffin tin, crack and egg on top of ham, bake at 350 for 15 minutes) can add cheese and veggies

2)  Aversion to drinking water and feeling yucky after drinking water and no tolerance of cold water is often a sign that one has low stomach acid.  People with low stomach acid cannot digest food well and often find themselves taking baking soda or eating TUMS like it's candy and avoiding drinking with meals.  Acidifying your water with 1 Tablespoon lemon, lime or apple cider vinegar and see how that feels.  Here is a page that talks about low stomach acid.  I am not promoting this website, just using the page so I don't have to type so much!  http://balancedbites.com/2012/01/why-you-want-more-stomach-acid-not-less.html

I love that you are now having a bit more time with your kiddos . . . being a single parent is one of the hardest jobs I can think of.  May you have all the support that you need to enjoy your lovely children.  They grow so fast!!

[whatsnextmom]

Originally Posted by journeymom 

I guess I'm tripping over the pineapple example because we don't get a lot of pineapples and just a week ago I found pineapples for $1 each.

If someone is diabetic, sure, they are going to avoid fruit. Otherwise, fruit is a great snack. My family could and do easily polish off a good pineapple in a day! Our favorite Disneyland snack is their pineapple spears.... better than an ice cream bar in taste and nutrition.

We're vegetarians with kids who aren't that crazy about vegetables. At 12 and 15, they eat any veggie put in front of them but when they were younger, we relied heavily on fruits. Fruits offer a lot of the same nutrients as vegetables in a package that kids will readily accept. It satisfies the sweet tooth without refined sugars. It's filling without being high calorie. Mine eat at least 2 whole fruits a day and I have no issue with it at all. It's not the same as drinking gallons of juice. Fresh fruit is fantastic!

I'll be honest, I find the idea of a life never eating cheez-its totally depressing. My kids eat some sort of cracker/pretzel/popcorn/granola daily. It's all about moderation. These things are a treat and you just have to be careful not to over-treat yourself. As Americans, obesity is a problem but it's not just food... it's activity. Increased activity will do more for kids than restricting their diets.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by journeymom 

Meemee, I'm not sure what's wrong with putting baking soda in your water? I mean, to me that sounds fairly unappetizing, but if the OP likes it and is drinking it instead of soda or punch or whatever, that's a big, big win.  She should continue it for the rest of her life, if that's what it takes for her to choose water over sugary drinks. 

And I'm not sure what's wrong with drinking water with your meal. In terms of replacing existing unhealthy habits with new, healthy habits, drinking water with your meal is, again, a big win, if it means you're choosing water over soda, etc, regardless of whether you drink before, during or after a meal.

baking soda in water is 'medicine'. its actually a cultural remedy in many countries to take away bloating. why treat the symptom? why not experiment with taking the symptom away and get to teh root. why the bloating? does OP have some health issues that she is not aware of? or is she sensitive to some foods and her diet is causing this bloating?

as OrmEmbar pointed out its about stomach acids. some people have stomach acid issues. so you dont want to drink water and futhur dilute the stomach acids. so usually i never drink anything with my meals (its actually discouraged in many cultures) but i do drink my 8 glasses as they keep my longing for junk and snacking down. if i drink my regular water i am not that hungry. 

[journeymom]

i do drink my 8 glasses as they keep my longing for junk and snacking down. if i drink my regular water i am not that hungry.

Great point.  This is really helpful with portion control.  That's interesting about acid/pH in the stomach.

These things are a treat and you just have to be careful not to over-treat yourself.

Yes! And know the difference between treats and snacks.  But yes, this would be a sad world without Cheez Its. I love them!

[amber3902]

OrmEmbar – I do suspect that I have low stomach acid.  Several years ago my doctor prescribed me Nexium for acid reflux, however, I learned that acid reflux medications can actually weaken your stomach’s ability to produce acid.  You do need SOME acid in order to properly digest your food.

I began to suspect that my stomach acid was being weaken so much that it was affecting my digestion so I stopped taking it.  It’s been years since I stopped taking Nexium, but I think the damage has been done to my stomach, what with the bloating, indigestion and occasional constipation I suffer from.

That’s a good idea about the apple cider vinegar, I used to drink it on a regular basis and got out of the habit, just another thing I have to pick back up again. 

I agree that I need to get to the root cause of why I'm so bloated, but maybe it is just a case of low stomach acid.

Edited by amber3902 - 1/18/13 at 8:24am

[meemee]

be very careful about ACV - any vinegar actually. it can go the other way. just coz you have low stomach acid does not mean you will constantly have it.  

i have been able to control my acid issues with food. here is a link to help you figure out if you want to http://www.angelfire.com/az/sthurston/acid_alkaline_foods_list.html

it is very fascinating to me how my body talks. there are times when meat, oranges and lemons would be revolting to me (i love love love tangerines and have been known to eat a whole 5 pound bag in one day). and if i went against my wishes and ate them i would have such trouble for the next few hours. mind you though they help with stomach acid. 

here is what low stomach acid is. hypochlorhydria. here's the link to the extract below. http://drmanlove.com/diet-and-nutrition-articles/low-stomach-acid.html there is tonnes more info about other stuff on this page. 

Because hypochlorhydria (low stomach acid) is so common and yet leads to terrible degenerative diseases such as cancer, congestive heart failure, osteoporosis and even Alzheimer's, patients as well as doctors need to become aware of its causes and symptoms and how to respond to them. I believe by working together in community we can apply healing helpful principles to ourselves, to others and the land. Your journal encourages us to do just that.

When my doctor told me to take antacids 21 years ago, he diagnosed hypoglycemia and hypothyroidism. Since writing the aforementioned letter, I've learned that these are caused by hypochlorhydria; let me explain why. We need a healthy level of hydrochloric acid (HCI) to stimulate digestive action in the small intestine, to break down fiber, to provide enzyme activity for nutrient absorption, and to assimilate minerals. Herein lies the electrical and manufacturing potential of our entire body. Non-absorbable, cooked or heated minerals become absorbable liquid crystalloid electrolytes, and organic minerals from raw foods are made more available and their electrical quality is maintained via healthy gastric activity. The body needs most of its minerals to be 'ionic' (electrically charged) and in solution. With low stomach acid there are fewer and fewer electrolytes in the body, and even these can lose their ionic quality and go out of solution-to form troublesome deposits. Liquid crystalloid electrolytes give us the correct alkali and acid balance (pH) needed before almost any chemical activity can occur. When the pH of the stomach is chronically 'off' (from low gastric activity -- hypochlorhydria), the pH won't be correct anywhere else in the body.

Not one enzyme, can be produced without the assistance of liquid. crystalloid electrolytes. All hormones, vitamins, proteins, amino acids, carbohydrates, fats, sugars, oils, etc. require electrolytes and enzymes to be properly metabolized. Even a slight deficiency of electrolyte minerals has a progressive effect (in hypochlorhydria) on our assimilation of all nutrients and every bodily process suffers. [1, 2]

i am not trying to freak you out here. just information.

[amber3902]

Thanks for those links.

No, you didn't freak me out.  I think the key is finding a balance, like most things in life.