Whoo Buko, BlissBorn sounds awesome! You've inspired me to see if there are any instructors/classes in my area! Definitely let us know how it goes once the classes begin.
Hey Buko! What do you do to relax? Do you watch any TV? If so which shows? Do you participate in any sports or have any crafty hobbies?
Re... lax? What's that? 
I guess my escapism is mostly online reading. Right now, my fave subject is, you guessed it, baby stuff.
I don't watch a ton of TV... I am a big sitcom person, and I don't feel like there are lots of good ones on right now. I am watching the final season of The Office, because it's the final season and I feel I should see it through... but it jumped the shark 1-2 seasons ago. The best new sitcom I've seen in a while is Go On (NBC)-- I really think it's quite good. I sometimes comfort-watch (via Netflix or DVD) some of my favorite "old" sitcoms, too-- Everybody Loves Raymond, Roseanne, Frasier, old Simpsons, Everybody Hates Chris, older eps of The Office, Futurama, Golden Girls, etc.
I did watch the first season of Call The Midwife on PBS here and will definitely watch any future seasons. Sometimes if DH and I are looking to watch something On Demand, we will check out Anthony Bourdain or Project Runway, but we're not big followers of much "reality" or drama.
I am SO not the athlete in this family. I have run a few marathons, but that's mostly to say I did-- I do enjoy running now, but never did participate in any organized sports in high school or later. DH is crazy athletic, though-- he even did some competitive time at the (Winter) Olympic training centers a couple years back-- while pushing 40! He's like... a total freak of nature.
Unfortunately, I injured a hamstring about a year ago, and though I did PT, I hadn't recovered enough by the time I got pregnant to really run much without worrying about the injury-relaxin combo, so I've been brisk-walking and doing yoga. Been nice and consistent, though! My goal-- so I'd focus on consistency and not crazy time or distance goals-- has been to work out 150 days of this pregnancy (counting 38 weeks from conception to "EDD," so almost exactly 4x/week). I am really proud of myself that I am at 113 days so far, at 32.5 weeks. Even if I don't make 150, I think I'll get close-- which is especially impressive to me since I did very little exercise (averaged less than 2x/week) during the ~2 months I had m/s. With my ADD, I am NOT naturally a consistent person over long stretches, so I am definitely pleased with myself for making it to 113 so far. The fact that DH happily provides company for at least 1/2 my walks and yoga sessions is a HUGE help.
I think I am vaguely crafty, vaguely artsy and I do enjoy cooking, but I haven't ever really focused on one art or craft enough to call it a "hobby." Like, I have done my share of cross-stitch, I can sew, bake, decorate (and have done many decor-related projects), take a decent photo if I want to, etc., but nothing stands out, I'm afraid.
Hey Buko! Fellow ENFXer here too :) So it sounds like saying you put a lot of thought and research into getting pregnant would be an understatement. What surprised you about being pregnant? Was there anything that was totally expected that did or did not happen?
Another great question!
I think all of my pregnancy surprises so far have been pleasant ones.
I was really concerned that...
-I would find pregnancy interminable (my ADD, again-- I'm terribly impatient). But no, even though I'll be pregnant over a year total (including my miscarried pregnancy), with only a 6-week "break." I was definitely anxious to get to 12-15 weeks or so (to get past the biggest "danger zone"), but other than that, haven't felt pregnancy to be "long." I used to think that 4-5 months would be a (theoretically) much more sensible length for a pregnancy, but now I see and feel that 9 months is just about the right length to prepare, and works out pretty nicely as long as your pregnancy isn't terribly taxing.
-My body image would suffer terribly, esp. with my ED history. But not really at all... so far, anyway. I was especially concerned because the "one thing" I always felt I had going for me was my (relative to my hips) small waist. And that's the one thing guaranteed to go in pregnancy! But I feel just fine about my body-- anywhere from neutral to pretty positive.
-I would have terrible mood swings and/or episodes of depression, as I have a history of mild-to-moderate mood disorders. But somehow, the hormones have actually evened out my moods FTMP. Go figure!
-People would be really judgmental of my choices, strangers would put their hands on my belly, etc. Not TOO bad, so far. Helps to work from home!
Oops-- double-post!
Hi Buko,
One thing I admire is how confident you are about your choices - no ultrasounds, doppler, opting for a homebirth, etc. Most women don't get there until they have at least one unpleasant experience with the medical system, and just decide to follow their intuition next time around. What gives you faith in your choices? How do you deal with the fear that others (or your own mind) may throw at you to undermine that?
Ohhh good question, keeptryst!
Yes, excellent question!
I guess I seem more confident than I am... but then again, I guess I am pretty confident, relatively speaking. I did toss and turn a lot over the u/s thing, mainly because of the blame issue I detail below.
I am sure that my relative "confidence," especially given this is my first, is due to two things. First, my family (both sides, but especially my dad's) is all about bucking the system when necessary. Like, I come from a long line of activists-- my 88 y.o. grandmother still volunteers and marches for progressive causes. So although I am not the world's most confrontational person, I am also very determined as a rule to get what I need and do "what's right" (or best) even in the face of heavy opposition. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I am actually more emboldened the more opposition I face, LOL (I'm not GENERALLY stubborn just to be stubborn), but it's relatively tough to dissuade me if your main argument is "this is the way it's always been done" or "people will think you're weird/irresponsible/crazy/wrong." Basically, if your argument is mostly about the social acceptability of a course of action, it will hold little sway with me. So, birth is no different.
The other major factor here is my mom. She is an MD, and the most distinguishing characteristic of her practice as a doctor is: research, research, research. She is always interested in what the best and latest research says, and she can't stand docs who just throw the same drugs or recommendations at everyone, or cr@ppy practices which hang around because "that's the way we've always done it." My little brother actually managed to convince her that pot isn't demotivational (LOL!) by showing her the relevant studies. Now, my mom is straight as an arrow (never even drinks more than glass of wine at a time!) and still doesn't endorse pot smoking, per se, but after researching it, she was totally willing to admit that some of what she had previously learned and believed about marijuana was wrong. That's just who she is. The second most distinguishing characteristic of her as a physician is her desire to stick to as low-intervention a course as possible. She doesn't want anyone taking drugs (or supplements! so it's not just a preference for being "natural") if they don't need to. Ditto, surgery-- and this is just generally, not specifically with regard to birth. I don't want to reveal too much, but suffice it to say that at one point she held one of the US's most influential positions on (legal) drugs, and we only ever really had Tylenol and Immodium in our medicine cabinets at home.
So, that's where I come from.
And basically my research led me to homebirth as the safest and best choice for me.
I do have some fear! About people undermining me, etc.-- and it's not like I'm immune to social pressures. I completely and totally understand that, when faced with two courses of action, even when they know one is "better" or "safer" (but especially when the absolute risk of either course is fairly low)-- most women will choose the one that is less likely to bring down the wrath of the establishment, the one that is less likely to rock the boat-- the one that is less likely to get them blamed. Well, it's the fact that women ARE blamed for these kinds of choices (anything to do with motherhood is a big one) that demonstrates what a misogynist society we still live in-- and I certainly can't blame women for the environment they're in. But I'd like to help change it. And I, personally, am reasonably okay bucking that system myself. Not bucking it just to buck it-- but if need be.
(My mom, BTW, had two unmedicated hospital births, and though she was a touch skeptical about homebirth when I first mentioned it, she is totally on board now. The research was convincing!)
I do have some fear! About people undermining me, etc.-- and it's not like I'm immune to social pressures. I completely and totally understand that, when faced with two courses of action, even when they know one is "better" or "safer" (but especially when the absolute risk of either course is fairly low)-- most women will choose the one that is less likely to bring down the wrath of the establishment, the one that is less likely to rock the boat-- the one that is less likely to get them blamed. Well, it's the fact that women ARE blamed for these kinds of choices (anything to do with motherhood is a big one) that demonstrates what a misogynist society we still live in-- and I certainly can't blame women for the environment they're in. But I'd like to help change it. And I, personally, am reasonably okay bucking that system myself. Not bucking it just to buck it-- but if need be.
That's very insightful about most women making choices that is less likely to get them blamed. It's a many-headed monster, fear, and I'm consciously trying this time to make choices not based on fear. Can relate to everything you said. Very cool, Buko, and kudos - always inspiring to see someone having the courage in being guided by what feels right instead of what everyone else is doing.
I'm not sure that women make choices that are less likely to get them blamed, as much as choices that they themselves are less likely to blame themselves for if things go wrong. But I suppose because humans ARE social animals that there's no real way to separate the two.
Buko, do you have a good support system lined up for after the birth? Are there baby groups in your area, or like-minded Meetup groups or anything? Do you enjoy hanging out with groups of women and just talking?
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