Any home birthing mamas? - Page 4 « Back to Group Discussions

[MsBe]

Originally Posted by SuzieSmiles 

Wow, 2 hours, that's awesome! I too would like to hear thoughts/opinions about hiring a doula... This will be our first everything and I was thinking about the benefits of having some additional help and support. I haven't discussed this yet with my midwife but imagine she'd be OK with it, right? I also wonder about having too many people around, thinking just DH, midwife (she might have an apprentice with her) and a doula?? I don't know, I used to envision birth as just me and DH there for support and I did everything myself (I am woman hear me roar, etc.), this was a while ago and I know that I will need some guidance (probably a lot more than I realize right now), so the midwife is mandatory, just undecided about the doula...?

I didn't have a birth doula for my first but did have a doula come by a few times in the first weeks.  It was very helpful in providing reassurance and support for both me and hubby since we had zero newborn experience prior to the arrival of our son.  However, my mom and a couple of my hubby's close female friends were there for the birth and all three of them were indispensable. They were great for supporting us both emotionally, and for providing food and drinks for what turned out to be a VERY long labor.  This freed up the midwives to do the midwifey stuff:  help me with positions, check dilation, check baby's heartbeat, make the notes in their charts, help me in and out of tub and shower...  A trusted birth doula (or other helpful and supportive woman) can be a real help if your labor doesn't go as smoothly as you might expect.  I would ask myself if I really felt comfortable with the idea that my midwife might have to focus on reassuring both me and my partner if things go long and difficult.  My husband is an emergency physician and accustomed to dealing with traumas with a cool head, but it was a whole different story to watch his loved one labor for so long.  For your first child, I would err on the side of having the extra support available.   If it turns out you don't want or need the extra people during your labor, both doula and midwife are usually more than happy to give you all the space and privacy you need.   Best of luck whatever you decide!

[OtherSoul]

I'm definitely hiring a doula this time. Last time I had two close friends plus midwives but don't have anyone around for my next birth as those friends have moved. It was GREAT to have the extra support. I so needed it. Gonna start looking around for a doula this week.

[Bromache]

Originally Posted by SuzieSmiles 

Wow, 2 hours, that's awesome! I too would like to hear thoughts/opinions about hiring a doula... This will be our first everything and I was thinking about the benefits of having some additional help and support. I haven't discussed this yet with my midwife but imagine she'd be OK with it, right? I also wonder about having too many people around, thinking just DH, midwife (she might have an apprentice with her) and a doula?? I don't know, I used to envision birth as just me and DH there for support and I did everything myself (I am woman hear me roar, etc.), this was a while ago and I know that I will need some guidance (probably a lot more than I realize right now), so the midwife is mandatory, just undecided about the doula...?

Since you asked for opinions... I would say not to get a doula, based on how you envisioned birth (if that is still how you picture it). This is also how I envisioned birth, and I got along just fine with my husband and a midwife each time. They were both very hands off, which was perfect for me. (Actually, the second time, I progressed quickly and my primary midwives were at other births and then the back-up got stuck in traffic, so — long story short — she only made it about twenty minutes before the birth. It was awesome!) If you're the type who prefers to be alone when you're in pain or sick rather than be doted on and cared for, than you probably would find a doula too much for you. 

I think doulas are an awesome, wonderful resource...for other women. Personally, the last thing I wanted was someone touching me or talking to me or getting in my way.  So, I knew a doula was definitely not for me. Don't feel like you NEED one. Trust your feelings and instincts on what's best for you.

[chispita]

Originally Posted by SuzieSmiles 

 This will be our first everything and I was thinking about the benefits of having some additional help and support. I haven't discussed this yet with my midwife but imagine she'd be OK with it, right? I also wonder about having too many people around, thinking just DH, midwife (she might have an apprentice with her) and a doula?? I don't know, I used to envision birth as just me and DH there for support and I did everything myself (I am woman hear me roar, etc.), this was a while ago and I know that I will need some guidance (probably a lot more than I realize right now), so the midwife is mandatory, just undecided about the doula...?

First timer here, and I'm definitely getting a doula! I figure that if I don't know what to expect, DH will know even less and will be super nervous about being helpful - so at the very least having someone there who will help him help me however I need will be good.

Also, I don't think in any of the birth stories I've read I've heard of anyone regretting having a doula.

[SuzieSmiles]

Wow! Thanks so much mamas for all of your input and sharing about the doula situation. You've all given me a lot to think about, very helpful, THANKS! 

Right now, I'm holding off as I think I need to get to know my midwife a little better. I feel that I still have plenty of time to decide if we will go with a doula or not. It's all so very exciting isn't it!?!

[dakipode]

Originally Posted by chispita 

DH will know even less and will be super nervous about being helpful - so at the very least having someone there who will help him help me however I need will be good.

Good point! I usually want to be left alone when I'm miserable but I think DH might need more moral support than I will.

[devilish]

A friend of mine had 2 home births and a hospital one (she didn't want to give birth in Québec) and she had a doula at all 3 births. She highly recommends it. We didn't have a doula the first time round, (said same friend was our 'doula'), and although it was a planned home birth, the pain was too much and I wound up in the hospital. I did end up getting an epidural, but not until 7 cm dilated. I totally wussed out. But, I didn't get a C-section which was my ultimate ideal in birthing, and the only person I wanted to punch during labour was the anesthesiologist. 

I am planning another hospital birth, but the Monfort hospital in Ottawa has renovated it's labour and delivery section so it's homey, welcoming with a jacuzzi in the suite. It is what I would imagine a birthing centre to be. So, I'm totally okay with being there. That being said, I have so much respect for women who go through labour without epidurals, I just couldn't do it.

[CookAMH]

I'm leaning toward hiring our doula again after reading various posts and thinking about it. I found out we'd get some partial financial assistance from the medical sharing program we're in. If it goes like last time (fast), I don't really "need" her, but if it doesn't, and is long or I need more support, I will be glad she's there. I honestly don't think I need to prenatal visits or two post partum visits, just one of each at the most.  My midwife, in comparison to some others mentioned, comes at the point I'd be going to the hospital/active labor, so she doesn't come early and provide support. She has an assistant midwife, and they come around the same time.  I'm also one who is totally up for suggestions, and this doula is very experienced (ICAN chapter leader, teaches a million childbirth education courses for pregnant women and to train CBEs).  She knows her stuff and she's hilarious.

If anything, with my labor my guess is if it's longer, I'd be more likely to have long early labor but still a short active labor. Who knows though.

[jess707]

It's my first and i'm planning a home birth as well - and will get a tub and see how the water goes for me :)  As far as the doula discussion goes, i'm not getting one since i know my midwife will provide emotional support and my hubby is also incredibly supportive and calm when i'm in need - but in my midwife interviews i learned that not all midwives do labor coaching and support and just focus on the birth process itself so it clearly depends on the midwife and how they view their role.

[CookAMH]

Originally Posted by jess707 

It's my first and i'm planning a home birth as well - and will get a tub and see how the water goes for me :)  As far as the doula discussion goes, i'm not getting one since i know my midwife will provide emotional support and my hubby is also incredibly supportive and calm when i'm in need - but in my midwife interviews i learned that not all midwives do labor coaching and support and just focus on the birth process itself so it clearly depends on the midwife and how they view their role.

Yeah, I agree. My midwife likes to come when I'm in active labor, around the same point as when I'd go to the hospital. I'm totally fine with that too, that's when I need her.   That's great you have a good team.

[fernmama]

We are planning a homebirth as well. The last two came fast. So not sure if our Midwife will even make it. My third birth was an hour and ended up an unassisted birth. We are going be well prepared again so if baby comes fast we will be ready. I actually really liked the experience of an unhindered birth

[Deborah Arikan]

I'm due in Sept with my third child. My first was an emergency c-section delivery and that was a pretty scary situation. My second was a planned homebirth and I am going this route again. I had a good experience. For "business reasons" the cord blood banking thing we're all hearing about in recent years seems a scam. My daughter was nursing with the umbilical cord attached a minute after birth. The blood was allowed to continue pumping to her the way it's supposed to. I was the first one to ever hold my daughter! Truly the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I truly hope to have another successful homebirth with this child. :)

[Mama on Flora]

I am having my third baby, planning a second HBAC and wondering whether or not to hire our doula again (based on your comments, I am making an educated guess that we may have used the same doula, CookAMH). I feel like my doula was instrumental in our successful HBAC and a part of me is afraid to do it alone. 

My midwife also only comes in at the later stages of labor and although she is supportive and loving she is definitely focussed on below-the-belly-button stuff. Our doula provided a lot of pre-labor support and advice that helped as much as the during-labor support.

Have any of you made a decision to have a doula and if so, what factors led you to your decision? I feel like my first baby's c-section would have been avoided if I had a doula, but I also know a lot more than I did then, much of which I have learned from my doula.

What to do?

[letniaLynne]

I would hire the doula if for no other reason than it went well last time. If you were happy with your last birth I would not change any factors that led to its success Also if you feel you don't need her support as much as before during labor you could mention it before hand so she knows you want to try something different this time. Then she could let you play it by ear that day

[orangeclover]

We are planning a home birth for 3rd baby.  wanted home births for first two, but insurance wouldn't cover it.  this time we said to hey with it and are paying for it ourselves.  Just can't deal with the hospital again.  My first was an emergency c-section, and had a successful v-bac with dd, and now can't wait for a no drama home birth. 

I am looking into different methods, and am trying out hypnobabies.  Those that have had previous home births, does it really work?  Or not worth it.  any thoughts?

[rrs]

We're planning our 2nd home birth with our 4th baby. 
 

[dollysods]

This will be our first homebirth.  Our other two were born at a birth center.  I have been considering using a doula this time.  I didn't with the other two and with the second really wished I had.  With the first I wanted no one touching me and found it annoying.  With the second, I could have used more support.  I discussed this with my midwife and she said that I don't need one as she and her birth assistant will be that support.  But you don't meet her birth assistant until the birth.  I kind of like the idea of having someone there who I have chosen.  On the other hand, I don't want a huge audience at my birth--- and I am already planning on one extra support person for my 5-year-old.  So torn.  It is great to hear other people's thoughts.
 

[lilmamita]

I'm planning a homebirth.  This is my first pregnancy.  We will be traveling from El Salvador, where we live, to Texas, where my family lives for it.  I think most likely I will give birth at my parents' house, the home I grew up in. My partner and my mom will be around.  I don't think my partner has any concept of a homebirth, but he is totally down.  I need to show him some videos.

[swissmiss2584]

I didn't want to be touched during labor although my labor was extremely fast with no back labor (thank The Lord!) and all I wanted to do was sway and hum. My husband wanted to do something but I hated being touched. My midwife always has someone with her. They were pretty hands off because everything was moving fast and I didn't need labor support. I'm praying for another fast labor even though it was intense and painful. Now I know what to expect this time. The 2 hour labor with 2 hours of pushing traumatized me at first but now I think I would be ok with a quick labor. I do want pushing to be easier!