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January 2013 Rockstar Mamas

post #1 of 221
Thread Starter 
Welcome to the Rockstar Mamas thread! Our wonderful group of mamas started following each other in the Charting to Avoid thread over in fertility. Eventually we created "The Whatever Ladies!", a safe place for those of us who were not trying to prevent pregnancy, though not actively trying to conceive either. Spread out over a year, we all got pregnant and had our current babes- several whom are over a year old now!

We made the decision to switch to Rockstar Mamas, after a conversation about how each and every one of us was a Rockstar in some way, for living and thriving through the parenting challenges thrown our way every day. Feel free to join us in our thread, but be warned, the conversation moves fast!

Not really rules but something to consider if you join:

1. Need to be chatty

2. Know that we are all vastly different from one another but we've become friends so we respect those differences. We are vaxers and nonvaxers; homeschoolers, unschoolers, public schoolers; run the gamut from vegan to paleo; some of us want more kids, some don't, and some aren't sure...but we all manage to really get along and come together on things we DO agree on.

3. Aren't afraid to ask each other the hard questions or point out the obvious when/if we want advice!

Member List:

lyeterae ~ Baby boy born February 2011
annie ~ Baby girl born April 7, 2011
Barefootscientist ~ Baby boy born May 30, 2011
AnnieA (due 7/18) ~ Baby girl born July 17, 2011
MarineWife (due 7/30) ~ Baby boy born July 25, 2011
Baby_Cakes (due 8/16) ~ Baby boy born August 16, 2011
MovingMomma (due 8/9) ~ Baby girl born August 18, 2011
akind1 (due 9/28) ~ Baby girl born October 11, 2011
mom2one (due 10/23) ~ Baby boy born October 21, 2011
jeninejessica (due 12/01) ~ Baby girl born November 29, 2011
Kindermama (due 1/6) ~ Baby boy born January 1, 2012
Euromama

akind1 going around again ~ Baby BOY!! due 3/6/2013 but betting on 3/11 or 3/19

December thread: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1369192/december-2012-rockstar-mamas
post #2 of 221
Thread Starter 
All the babies that started with us are 1 year old now and one is getting very close to 2!
post #3 of 221

It's hard to believe this is the year the babies turn 2! 

 

And yeah - that's why I pulled up pictures, because I FEEL huge. but I don't know that I actually look any bigger. I think maybe because it's more belly, and I'm carrying less weight (albeit not a whole lot of difference - 5lbs or so) less elsewhere?

 

10 days until my maternity portraits! I am really excited. She also did the babywearing ones, and I WILL get some nursing ones this time around (Norah had just weaned the last time she did a bunch of nursing session portraits)

 

Where is everyone today?

post #4 of 221
I'm here. Still trying to recover from our middle of the night playdate two nights ago! Spent an hour on the phone this morning with my insurance company trying to sort out old bills. Drove me to tears. Literally. Took Ava to the children's museum and then went to grab a piece of pizza for lunch. We passed John Grisham and he and Ava waved at each other. It was very funny. Ava and I took a nap and when we woke up, she was being so funny. She said "Poop." and I said "Really? You pooped this morning. Where's the poop? I don't see any poop." She lifted up her shirtand looked down at her diaper and said "Poop?" It was so cute!
post #5 of 221
Thread Starter 
I forgot to say that I also agree that antibacterial soap is unnecessary and probably harmful. I hate that I can't buy plain hand soap at the grocery store anymore. Everything is antibacterial.

I'm here, too. I get my computer first thing in the morning and then not again until I kick the boys off it. I can check stuff like Facebook quickly on my phone or Kindle but I don't like to post much from those. I prefer the larger screen and keyboard of my laptop.

I've also been busy trying to plan Ethan's party and doing this refinance stuff.
post #6 of 221

I'm here!  i'm just on my phone and it's so hard to reply!!!

 

I think I'm FINALLY getting better.  I'm not going to overexert myself today tho, I think that's why I relapsed!!

 

A - huge hugs and mad props to you on the counseling.  It must be SO frustrating to hear him be like, oh now I know how you feel when you've been TELLING him this whole time.  At the same time, it's going to be eye opening to him now that he knows how to listen to you.  Hopefully he will take the steps to respond to what he learns, and things can start improving.

And I agree with L that we know Sean.  He is a good father and a good man.  We know you are venting and all this stuff is perfectly safe here with us.  I feel comfortable posting what I post about DH as well b/c you all know him and me, and I know you won't judge him solely based on what I say.  

 

K - Oh my goodness, you def have a BOY belly this time!  Such a basketball compared to N!  Home stretch, woman!! Start crackin' on that to-do list! How much time are you taking off of work?

 

L - hugs on the teeth and sickness.  And I can't believe you met John Grisham.  I don't know if I would recognize him if I saw him, lol.

 

AFus - Chris's family cat had to be put down.  Everyone is a mess.  My MIL is beside herself.  She was 19 and was such a sweet kitty, but her body had been shutting down for awhile and they were doing all they could to keep her comfortable as it was.  Monday her organs just gave out and they had to make the choice to put her down or take her home and let her die there.  They made the right choice, i think.  It would have been too hard and unfair to let her suffer.  So.  I'm going to meet my MIL and BIL at whole foods for lunch to get her out of the house.  She's hearing cookie's meow and seeing all her things and it's just too hard for her.  She doesn't know we are meeting for that reason but that's good.  I don't want it to feel like a rescue mission.  Just want to distract her enough to make her smile. 

 

What else?

 

Oh.  The only time I use hand sanitizer or the like is right after Nora leaves preschool if she doesn't wash her hands right away.  I'm not big on it tho and I'd prefer just hand washing with simple soap (not antibacterial).  I don't buy antibac soap.  Chris does.  It's one of the things I think is important one way and he argues the other side of it.  He will fight with me on taking all my abx so I don't create resistant strains, but always buys anti bac soap.  eyesroll.gif  Handwashing is better IMO than any hand sanitizer for the reasons Kat brought up.   

 

Ok.  Off to tidy up before we go out to WF and hopefully grab another cup of coffee.

 

Oh - quickly.  My kids have both been having lots of bad dreams lately.  Waking up and crying, Nora running in to my bed.  Anything you guys can think of I can add or take from their diet/day to maybe help with this?  It's got to be something!  Idk why all of a sudden they both would be having bad dreams like nightly?  My dreams have been vivid lately too...hmm..

post #7 of 221

My boy belly with Gabe I think was hidden behind extra fluff - with him, I just felt fat. I didn't take many pics that pregnancy. And I was a good almost 20 lbs heavier with that one.

 

bad dreams: can melatonin help with that?

 

MW: forgot to add - of course this is a safe place to vent! I don't vent too much about my DH here, bc, sometimes he's bored and reads MDC LOL. (mostly he looks in the health and spirituality forums, but he likes to read what I write sometimes too) Since we plan on meeting you all some day this year, he likes to kind of get to know who you are too.

 

My mini vent - I really, really, wish when Norah woke up crying he wouldn't tell her to shut up. I don't say anything in the moment, because it would defeat trying to get her to go back to sleep, but I need to bring it up later, just trying to fnd a tactful way to do so. . . .

 

My friend had her baby! not nearly as long a labor as her first, thank goodness (you never know with inductions) - little bitty - 6lbs 1oz - a 39 weeker (and considering mama had the most severe hyperemesis I've ever known anybody to have, it's no surprise she's not a chunker) and another IRL friend will finally get to hold her NICU baby today! I'm thrilled with all of these squishes! I need to see if I have any spare girly yarn and can crochet a quick hat for the wee one . . . .

 

Annie - Ava is just too cute! glad she gets to meet some famous people ;)

post #8 of 221
Thread Starter 
I don't know about the dreams. My kids have scary dreams periodically but not usually consecutively. Ethan got nightmares from watching the Walking Dead but then wanted to watch it again. lol.gif Could they have inadvertently seen or heard something that scared them?

I'm freaking out a little bit about my back. You all know how it's been bothering me. There's this spot right in the middle that seizes up for no apparent reason other than that I moved. Last night I asked Sean to rub some muscle cream on it. While doing that he noticed a spot of discolored skin about 1-1.5" wide and 2-3" long right where my muscles seize. It's not a bruise. I haven't fallen or banged it. It's just slightly darker than the skin around it. I'm thinking maybe I should see a doctor but I don't have a regular PCM. I'd have to start as a new patient somewhere and that's a hassle and takes so long. Do you think an OB/GYN who is also authorized as a PCM could deal with it or should I just go straight to a specialist? I can go to a specialist without a referral but I don't know what kind.
post #9 of 221

I'd see somebody - what kind of doc specializes in muscle?

post #10 of 221
When my big kids have had issues with nightmares, it's been because they've seen something on TV that they were not able to process. Usually, I should say.

MW, I'd go to a walk-in urgent care type place. Ava's godmother is a family physician in one of tjose places and they see regular patients too, not just urgent situations. At least start with a GP and see what they recommend.

It's funny because we have a fair number of famous people that live here and John Grisham is usually hard to recognize. He must have had a meeting yesterday because he was relatively dressed up. He looked like the pic on the back of his books. I see Sissy Spacek at Whole Foods all the time and Dave Matthews lives here when he isn't touring. I usually see him in Barnes and Noble. He always looks a little sad if people aren't noticing it's him. smile.gif

Got the christmas tree taken down and out of the house. I'm thinking about doing some rearranging this weekend. I also need to get a big plastic bin to put some of Ava's toys away in the girls' room so we can rotate through stuff. There's too much out right now and I feel like she has too many choices so she plays with nothing, you know?
post #11 of 221

We have no famous faces here. It's a good thing, probably.

 

Need to take the Christmas tree down. It will be put away before the new baby is born, I promise!

 

Ah, too many choices! That happens a bit upstairs, because my mom loves to buy toys. But she usually picks ones they do really enjoy playing with - and ones that don't make noise or require batteries -  I am so sleepy today.

post #12 of 221
Thread Starter 
I keep forgetting to post this. I'm pretty sure I Oed on cd28, same day as last cycle. It would be very interesting if my cycles suddenly became regular even if they are still a bit long.

My Ovulation Chart
post #13 of 221

I want to meet famous people!  No fair.  I even went to LA and stood outside the Chateau Marmont for like 15 min to just catch a glimpse, and NUTHIN'!  lol.gif

 

Too many toys - O I HEAR YOU!  LOL!  I put most of the toys away, honestly.  Yeah, they love them, but you know what?  They'll still love them in 3 or so months when I rotate them!  It's hard but do it when they are asleep and they usually forget about them.  Then they are so happy when they see them!  LOL.

 

It's QUIET!  

We had a great evening.  My BF came over with her kids and man, it was just so fun to have girl talk and let the kids play, and no stress and just wine, laughing, good times!  I so needed it!

Chris hasn't even left NYC yet so I'm enjoying some me time guilt free!  Love it.

 

MW - I too think you should go to urgent care.  It isn't like an ER, it's for normal issues like you're describing.  I go to urgent care for all my sinus infections and stuff, as well as for emergencies (like when I needed my stitches).  I hope it's nothing but some bruising.  confused.gif

post #14 of 221
Thread Starter 
I don't have time to wait for hours at an urgent care place. I might call tomorrow to see if I can get an appointment at the place I used to. I searched my insurance website for PCMs and didn't like anyone who was listed. No wonder I don't have one. There were several doctors but they all work at one of two different practices, neither of which I like.

Whew! We just did some refi stuff that has got me stressed out. We initially applied with Navy Fed, which is who we have our loan with currently. I then decided to call Quicken Loans just to see what kind of deal they could give us. Both loans are essentially the same. The monthly payments have a difference of only $4. The big difference was in whether or not we'd need cash at closing, maybe. The Navy Fed papers had closing costs of around $6700 but by federal law they cannot roll more than $5000 into the loan so it would appear as if we'd need $1700 in cash at closing. However, the person at Navy Fed didn't mention that to me.

Quicken gave us essentially the same loan with the same interest rate except the monthly payment is $4 more. But, we won't need any cash at closing. They got our house appraised at just under $199 whereas Navy Fed had it at only $169. We had to pay $500 to go ahead with getting official approval for the Quicken loan. We don't need to pay anything for final approval of the Navy Fed loan but $500 is worked into the closing costs for appraisal and flood determination that is not in the Quicken loan closing costs.

Now I'm not sure if we can ethically send in all the signed papers for Navy Fed. I asked and although it took going around in circles a bit and finally saying, "Look, you are not giving me a straight answer!", was told that we aren't required to accept either loan until we actually sign the closing papers. And, we have 3 business after closing to change our minds without penalty. Our plan is that I will call Navy Fed tomorrow and ask about cash at closing. If they say we won't actually need any, Sean will fax them the papers and then we'll see what the final papers from each say. Otherwise, we'll go with Quicken because we don't have any cash to bring to closing.

So, I feel like my head is spinning. dizzy.gif I don't know which way is up and which loan is better. I do know that I don't like Navy Fed. I feel like they misled me with the original loan by talking me out of getting a VA loan and then refusing to let us refinance until the federal government came up with the HARP program and basically forced them to offer it to people like us.
post #15 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

I don't have time to wait for hours at an urgent care place. I might call tomorrow to see if I can get an appointment at the place I used to. I searched my insurance website for PCMs and didn't like anyone who was listed. No wonder I don't have one. There were several doctors but they all work at one of two different practices, neither of which I like.

Whew! We just did some refi stuff that has got me stressed out. We initially applied with Navy Fed, which is who we have our loan with currently. I then decided to call Quicken Loans just to see what kind of deal they could give us. Both loans are essentially the same. The monthly payments have a difference of only $4. The big difference was in whether or not we'd need cash at closing, maybe. The Navy Fed papers had closing costs of around $6700 but by federal law they cannot roll more than $5000 into the loan so it would appear as if we'd need $1700 in cash at closing. However, the person at Navy Fed didn't mention that to me.

Quicken gave us essentially the same loan with the same interest rate except the monthly payment is $4 more. But, we won't need any cash at closing. They got our house appraised at just under $199 whereas Navy Fed had it at only $169. We had to pay $500 to go ahead with getting official approval for the Quicken loan. We don't need to pay anything for final approval of the Navy Fed loan but $500 is worked into the closing costs for appraisal and flood determination that is not in the Quicken loan closing costs.

Now I'm not sure if we can ethically send in all the signed papers for Navy Fed. I asked and although it took going around in circles a bit and finally saying, "Look, you are not giving me a straight answer!", was told that we aren't required to accept either loan until we actually sign the closing papers. And, we have 3 business after closing to change our minds without penalty. Our plan is that I will call Navy Fed tomorrow and ask about cash at closing. If they say we won't actually need any, Sean will fax them the papers and then we'll see what the final papers from each say. Otherwise, we'll go with Quicken because we don't have any cash to bring to closing.

So, I feel like my head is spinning. dizzy.gif I don't know which way is up and which loan is better. I do know that I don't like Navy Fed. I feel like they misled me with the original loan by talking me out of getting a VA loan and then refusing to let us refinance until the federal government came up with the HARP program and basically forced them to offer it to people like us.


If I need to go see Ava's godmother, I get up early and make sure I'm there about 10-15 mins before the office opens so I'm one of the first ones in.

 

All that money talk gives me a headache! Sheepish.gif

 

Baby_Cakes, I'm glad you got some time with your BF. Sitting, drinking wine and listening to the kids play is an EXCELLENT way to spend the evening!

post #16 of 221

MW: Ryan bought a house? (sorry -saw a status you commented on, and wasn't sure??)  Refi stuff is stressful. My parents have refi'd almost every year - it helps give them cash, actually, to improve the house, and save on the mortgage. I think it's with New Day Financial. They have even come to the house on Saturday to do closing. No cash at closing is awesome.

 

Carrie - hooray for good times!

 

Norah had some awful liquid poos last night. poor baby. everytime she turned over I coudl HEAR her the liquid in her tummy sloshing. she seems in better spirits this morning.

post #17 of 221
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

If I need to go see Ava's godmother, I get up early and make sure I'm there about 10-15 mins before the office opens so I'm one of the first ones in.

Haha! That is NOT going to happen here. It's not just me sitting and waiting. It's me sitting and waiting with 3 little kids and trying to get through an exam with 3 little kids. It just isn't going to happen. greensad.gif
post #18 of 221

Ok, here I am again.

There has been so much going on that I have no idea where to start.

 

Mainly its my 10 y/o DS is going through the pre-teen stage. He is doing amazing at school but at home has been mouthing off and just very, challenging? 

 

Anyways.

 

We rotate toys too. Sometimes I do go through all the toys and throw away the broken ones.

post #19 of 221
Thread Starter 
i hate to say it, EM, but that's typical at that age. one way to look at it is that he has to keep his emotions stuffed and in check all day at school and needs a release once he's in a safe place, home. course, that doesn't make it feel any better, but in a way it's a compliment to you that he feels safe enough to behave that way.
post #20 of 221
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

i hate to say it, EM, but that's typical at that age. one way to look at it is that he has to keep his emotions stuffed and in check all day at school and needs a release once he's in a safe place, home. course, that doesn't make it feel any better, but in a way it's a compliment to you that he feels safe enough to behave that way.

That is a great way of looking at this! Thank you MW!! :)


Edited by EuroMama - 1/12/13 at 9:21pm
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