January 2013 Rockstar Mamas - Page 10

[Baby_Cakes]

I would do them only for poop since she has pee pretty much down.  I wouldn't let her know you have them even!  LOL!  Just if she goes poop, you say, "Potty treat!" or something and hand her one.  Yeah she'll ask for more.  It'll be annoying.  But it'll probably help her poop on the potty.

I can't believe how much it seems other 1 year olds are doing.  I feel like mine is such a baby in his head still.  A lot of that could be my perception and denial at the fact he's growing up.  But I think more of it is that it just hasn't clicked in his head yet, like he hasn't hit that developmental leap that many 17-18 mo olds have.  

I was looking back at Nora's pics from when she turned 2 and I was like omg.  She was so much more ... idk.  Not intelligent, but more communicative, more child like.  I feel like Finn is still a bit babyish.  But, that's 7 months away.  So much is going to change from now to then. And I can't compare him to first babies or onlies.  They seem so advanced compared to him.

[AnnieA]

It's definitely a range. You can really see it like at Ava's mother goose story time. There's a little girl that's just a couple of weeks older than Ava and I would swear she's two. And then she was playing with a little boy that's 16 months and he seemed more infant than toddler.

My milk has dropped DRASTICALLY in the past week. No real reason that I can figure out but Ava isn't drinking very much either so maybe it's just a natural time? I feel like I could drop to 2 or 3 pumps per day and be totally fine. But it could be just where I am in my LP and I don't want to mess with my supply further if I drop pumps so fast.

[AnnieA]

Double post. Deleting.

[MarineWife]

Dylan comes to tell me when he has to poo if he doesn't have a diaper on. He won't do anything about it, though. I've tried several times to put him on the potty but he just squirms right off. It doesn't matter if it's his little potty or the big toilet. I don't like to put a diaper on him when he says he has to poo because I feel like that's training him to poo in a diaper only. I'd rather he just go on the floor. He pooped twice on the carpet yesterday. It was kind of funny because I think he was a little surprised. He told me he had to poo but then just went about playing. When he squatted the poop just came out. Then he stood up, pointed to it and said, "Poo." haha!

We tried a disposable diaper last night. I think Dylan slept much better. I woke up around 3 am and he was still sleeping. I couldn't get back to sleep so I got up and wrote my thoughts down to get them out of my head. He woke up while I was up. I went back to bed to nurse him and he only nursed for a little bit and then went right back to sleep. He's still sleeping now. But...he also had pooped in his diaper the night before last when he was really restless. He didn't poop last night.

IDK what to do. I so don't want to stop using cloth. I was thinking about trying a different washing soap but I don't know what. I'm using Charlie's Soap, which is supposed to be the best for anyone with sensitive skin. Everything I've read said that people who couldn't use any other laundry soap could use Charlie's without a problem. Maybe I'll try Allen's. I think that's supposed to be about the same.

Carrie ~ What do you mean by Finn seeming more like a baby? He's walking and talking and playing and interacting with everyone and everything, right? What else would he be doing at this age?

I have a feeling counseling is going to get really uncomfortable the next few visits. I brought up how angry I get during the day at all the little things that I run into that Sean has done that are in my way. The counselor asked if my friends had the same complaints and reacted as strongly as I do. She asked that because she said they sound like very typical complaints that SAHMs have about their partners. I think she was trying to imply that maybe I'm way overreacting and we would try to get at why I am so angry about all of it. I could go on and on. There is so much stuff that I'm beginning to wonder how we will ever cover it all. I feel like we need to go more often because I usually leave thinking I won't be able to wait a week before having to talk to Sean about this stuff again.

[onetwoten]

£{*~€|}£~~££ !!!!!!!

I'm effing losing my shit here. Ten has been up since 530am, won't calm down, won't be distracted, or play or even watxh her movie. she just wants to ehine and tug at me. she's obviously exhausted but shrieks if I pick her up and don't nurse her. I've already nursed her six times and I'm drawing the line there. So she's in her crib screaming bloody murder because at least she's safe there. Holdin her was pissing her off more.

Holy eff give me strength to make it through today.

[AnnieA]

JJ, first off, huge hugs. Soooooo been there! Bathtub or shower usually works on days like that to get us back to a good spot. And ibuprofen. Sounds like Ava when she's in pain. Hope you get a break soon!

[AnnieA]

MW, that's interesting that D slept better out of cloth. Have you stripped your dipes recently with like RLR or Calgon? Maybe they just need that?

As for counseling, etc I think it's a combo of things. I think your DH does some passive aggressive crap to push your buttons and you are overly sensitive to some stuff. Have you considered going back on a mild antidepressant? I only ask because this topic has come up a lot recently in one of my moms groups and what the ladies are describing as their symptoms pre-meds is not what I would have labeled as "depression" but the meds help. They talk about feeling on edge all the time, general restlessness, mild anxiety, a feeling that nothing is ever good or right. And the meds help. I think walking outside 30-40 mins daily would have the same, if not greater, effect but that can be hard to incorporate in our lives.

[EuroMama]

JJ. I second the bath tub, when Eddie is having a really bad night/day the bath helps calm him. (((((((Hugs)))))))))

Well, Ds1 is home from school. Sun. He puked, yesterday he started coughing plus fever, today he has a low grade fever and cough. I don't want to sent him to school.

Talking about school, I have been seriously thinking of homeschooling him through middle school and on.

[MarineWife]

JJ ~ I've been there. I agree with trying a bath. That works a lot of times to help Dylan when he's out of sorts. The ibuprofen might help, too. She could be in pain. I think that's why Dylan was so fussy for a couple of days before he actually showed any cold symptoms. My guess is that his sinuses were hurting him because that's how I first feel when I get a cold. My sinuses burn and it hurts very badly and sometimes I get a headache. Ethan gets a headache, too.

Which reminds me that last night he complained of having a headache and that his stomach hurt and he's still sleeping now at 10:30 am. Seems that this is going to be another one of those winters where we are continuously sick. We haven't fully gotten rid of the coughs we had from before Christmas.

Annie ~ I have tried stripping my diapers but my machine is crap. I think a big part of the problem is that it doesn't use enough water. When I changed his diaper this morning his foreskin wasn't red or swollen at all, either. It's almost always a little red or swollen after wearing a diaper. I am going to buy a new washing machine as soon as we close on our refinance, which is ending up costing us more than originally presented.

Oh, well. I guess that's what happens. It's not a lot but it seems like a bit of a scam. They told us we wouldn't need anything at closing. Now they say we'll need around $890 because they lowered our total loan amount. In the long run, that would be good for us except that we aren't planning to keep this house forever. I think we are planning to sell it as soon as we can because Sean got orders to Quantico. He'll probably be there for about 3 years. The other option was to not skip the March payment and get about $127 back in closing. That didn't sound right, though. It seems that they would get more money out of us that way. So, we're going to borrow the money from my dad to cover the closing costs we'll be expected to pay up front. The whole mortgage business is such a scam.

I do think I am extrasensitive to the slights that Sean does toward me, especially when he denies it the way my mother does. He acts like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. That drives me crazy! The counselor mentioned a few times that when people get overly upset over little things it's usually a sign that they don't feel loved and supported overall in the big things. That is definitely how I feel, like Sean doesn't truly value or support me. Homeschooling came up and I could hear Sean rolling his eyes when he said, "She believes in unschooling, learning through life." The tone was just so nasty and condescending. I could have smacked him. I really don't get that because he tells everyone else how great unschooling is and he has seen Ethan learn to read without instruction and answer math questions that he's never been taught. Oh, and even though he admits that when he is home alone with all the kids he can't get anything done he still says he thinks all I do all day is knit and mess around on Facebook. Really?!

That's part of what kept me up last night, thinking about that. If Dylan hadn't woken up while I was up writing in my journal, I would have confronted Sean then because he had just gotten up for the day.

[MarineWife]

Oh, the meds. I have thought about it. Anxiety and depression go hand in hand. Being overly irritable is actually a symptom of depression that the meds are supposed to help with. But I don't want to go back on them right now because I gained so much weight on them. I was figuring it out. I was wearing my "skinny girl" jeans at Williamsburg in September. Between then and Christmas I went up two jeans sizes so that I had to buy a size larger than my "big girl" jeans. I gained at least 15 lbs. in two months so that I am now at least 30 lbs. overweight again. That was right after doubling my dose of Zoloft. The doctor insisted that the meds don't cause weight gain but that is the only thing that changed drastically in my life then. Before that I was steadily losing weight.

That's another thing that really hurts when it comes to how Sean reacts to me. He knows I've struggled with depression at least since I was 15. He doesn't seem to acknowledge or understand that. He judges me as being lazy or whatever rather than seeing that I'm struggling again. He has to deal with all of the people at work who have problems like that. He comes home complaining about how he had to spend the day dealing with another crazy like it was such a pain and waste of his time. I can't believe that he could be so insensitive. It really hurts me and makes me feel like I can't confide in him how I'm really feeling about anything because he'll just think I'm crazy and being ridiculous and need to just get over it. I think he's in some sort of denial about how and who I really am. He doesn't know me. He has a fantasy of what he thinks I am. I don't know how to explain it, really.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

As for counseling, etc I think it's a combo of things. I think your DH does some passive aggressive crap to push your buttons and you are overly sensitive to some stuff. Have you considered going back on a mild antidepressant? I only ask because this topic has come up a lot recently in one of my moms groups and what the ladies are describing as their symptoms pre-meds is not what I would have labeled as "depression" but the meds help. They talk about feeling on edge all the time, general restlessness, mild anxiety, a feeling that nothing is ever good or right. And the meds help. I think walking outside 30-40 mins daily would have the same, if not greater, effect but that can be hard to incorporate in our lives.

Originally Posted by onetwoten 

£{*~€|}£~~££ !!!!!!!

I'm effing losing my shit here. Ten has been up since 530am, won't calm down, won't be distracted, or play or even watxh her movie. she just wants to ehine and tug at me. she's obviously exhausted but shrieks if I pick her up and don't nurse her. I've already nursed her six times and I'm drawing the line there. So she's in her crib screaming bloody murder because at least she's safe there. Holdin her was pissing her off more.

Holy eff give me strength to make it through today.

Oh no!  My advice is to get out of the house!  Do anything!  Walk!  Go anywhere!  You'll survive.  I have faith!!

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

Carrie ~ What do you mean by Finn seeming more like a baby? He's walking and talking and playing and interacting with everyone and everything, right? What else would he be doing at this age?

I have a feeling counseling is going to get really uncomfortable the next few visits. I brought up how angry I get during the day at all the little things that I run into that Sean has done that are in my way. The counselor asked if my friends had the same complaints and reacted as strongly as I do. She asked that because she said they sound like very typical complaints that SAHMs have about their partners. I think she was trying to imply that maybe I'm way overreacting and we would try to get at why I am so angry about all of it. I could go on and on. There is so much stuff that I'm beginning to wonder how we will ever cover it all. I feel like we need to go more often because I usually leave thinking I won't be able to wait a week before having to talk to Sean about this stuff again.

Idk what I mean.  I think I'm mostly eager for talking.  He really doesn't say much other than intonations and gestures.  He understands plenty and is a barrel of laughs, but somehow...idk.  I honestly don't know what I expect!  LOL!  And I'm not at all worried or anything.  It was just something I see.  I think also I was used to nora being "ahead" of the curve b/c she had an early in the month bday and was always doing things first, and since Finn is a mid month birthday in my DDC other kids his "age" are doing things first and that's different.

I'm sorry about the hard emotions and hurt feelings.  I agree going more often is a good idea.

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

That's another thing that really hurts when it comes to how Sean reacts to me. He knows I've struggled with depression at least since I was 15. He doesn't seem to acknowledge or understand that. He judges me as being lazy or whatever rather than seeing that I'm struggling again. He has to deal with all of the people at work who have problems like that. He comes home complaining about how he had to spend the day dealing with another crazy like it was such a pain and waste of his time. I can't believe that he could be so insensitive. It really hurts me and makes me feel like I can't confide in him how I'm really feeling about anything because he'll just think I'm crazy and being ridiculous and need to just get over it. I think he's in some sort of denial about how and who I really am. He doesn't know me. He has a fantasy of what he thinks I am. I don't know how to explain it, really.

:-( that sounds really hard.  I'm so sorry.

AFM - Had mall plans but I had to cancel them b/c Finn and I were up for the day at 5 and I know he'll go down early for his nap.  I want to hit the treadmill and clear my mind.  I need a few min alone.  Chris gets back tonight late (like midnight I think) and leaves early tmw for NYC.  He should be home tmw late, like 10 or 11.  Boston is still up in the air for thurs/fri. About to crackkkk.

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

Annie ~ I have tried stripping my diapers but my machine is crap. I think a big part of the problem is that it doesn't use enough water. When I changed his diaper this morning his foreskin wasn't red or swollen at all, either. It's almost always a little red or swollen after wearing a diaper. I am going to buy a new washing machine as soon as we close on our refinance, which is ending up costing us more than originally presented.
 

Have you tried putting a soaking wet towel in with the diapers to trick the machine in to filling with more water?

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

Oh, the meds. I have thought about it. Anxiety and depression go hand in hand. Being overly irritable is actually a symptom of depression that the meds are supposed to help with. But I don't want to go back on them right now because I gained so much weight on them. I was figuring it out. I was wearing my "skinny girl" jeans at Williamsburg in September. Between then and Christmas I went up two jeans sizes so that I had to buy a size larger than my "big girl" jeans. I gained at least 15 lbs. in two months so that I am now at least 30 lbs. overweight again. That was right after doubling my dose of Zoloft. The doctor insisted that the meds don't cause weight gain but that is the only thing that changed drastically in my life then. Before that I was steadily losing weight.

 

Maybe something other than zoloft? I know that different meds have different side effects. I think some of the moms in my group are taking Celexa?

[AnnieA]

Ava fell at my office today and bonked her nose really hard! It was bleeding and now it's swollen and she's getting black eyes. I had DH take her to the dr when he picked her up but they didn't seem too concerned about it. I know they can't do much if it is broken but eh, I guess I expected more of a reaction? We were going to do valentine/heart pictures but guess I need to postpone those!

JJ, how are you doing?

[MarineWife]

Aw, poor Ava. I hope she heals fast.

I have not tried the wet towel specifically but whenever the machine has had wet things in it when it starts, it first spins and drains and then starts the cycle. Also, I was thinking about the Calgon. We have very soft water. It drives me crazy because I never feel like I've rinsed all the soap off my hands after washing them. I think Calgon would make that worse, right, since it's a treatment for hard water? It's impossible to tell if all the soap has been rinsed off of the diapers in the machine I have. I always run extra rinse cycles every time I wash plus I use Charlie's soap, which is not supposed to cause any build up at all. My only other option, I think, is to try to strip them in my tub or boil them and I just don't have the time for that.

I've tried several different antidepressants over the years and the only one that has ever helped me that I could stand is Zoloft. From what I read, they all can cause weight gain and no one is sure why. Some say it could just be increased appetite caused by an improved mood but I don't think that would explain the rapid weight gain I experienced. It sucks to feel this way.

[MarineWife]

I keep forgetting to tell you all that I went straight from a few days of sticky CF to tons of ewcf. I'm only on cd13. WTH?!

[Baby_Cakes]

Mw do you have a good blender or a juicer?  I've had such amazing results just from drinking whole carrot juice daily.  My moods are excellent and my PMS nonexistent.  It's worth looking into or trying.  I do a cup of carrots and some frozen strawberries, and water.  I have a high speed blender so that is able to juice and keep the fiber.  Something about carrot juice is said to balance our hormones.

I think I'm coming down with an upper respiratory something.  Suddenly this evening it hit me.  A dry annoying cough and my ear is tickling.  Sigh.  I freaking HATE being sick.

Lauri - O NO! I'm so sorry she got hurt.  Oh this age is a tough one for black and blues.  :-(

JJ I hope your day improved!

Expecting Chris to walk in soon!  Going to tidy up and find a snack and watch some TV before he does.  See you in the am w/coffee, ladies!  

[AnnieA]

MW, yeah if your water is already soft, you definitely don't want to use Calgon or RLR. I think getting a new washer is the best option. I love my toploader even though it's old. Maybe since you don't like the side effect from the meds, you could give the daily walking a try? I've seen studies where they had three groups, one on meds, one on meds and daily walking and one on just daily walking. The people in the third group felt consistently better and saw a reduction in their anxiety/depression. So maybe give that a shot?

Baby_Cakes, I had a great experience taking the elderberry syrup last week when I started to come down with something. I took the double dose like the package recommends and I never really got sick. I felt crummy for two days, like at the beginning of a cold but it just went away and never got worse. I swear by it now.

I'm having serious baby cravings these days. Like it just keeps ramping up and isn't going away. Sigh.

[onetwoten]

Need to come back, because there was stuff today I wanted to respond to, but yes the day got better! Thanks mamas. She shrieked in her crib for almost ten minutes (Seriously?!!! Where does she get this from?) and then finally quieted a bit, so as soon as she did, I went in and grabbed her, and we snuggled and nursed again, and she fell asleep for a nap. I just -cannot- nurse her when she's trying to shriek in my ear. It makes me skin crawl, and i refuse to nurse angry.  Anywho, she slept for like 45 minutes and then woke up, tried to crawl off the edge of the bed, so I put her down, and she started shrieking again!! Seriously. 

She pretty much cried/fussed off and on from then (about 10am) until 2pm when I put her down for another nap. I know it's teething and she's feeling off, but it's just ridiculous. She doesn't want to do anything. Won't eat anything. Won't let me snuggle her or play with her, or read to her. She just wants to hit me and tug on me, and cry. But then when I reach down to pick her up, she flips out at me. So trying! And the bath was a fanastic idea, but I needed to clean it before we could get into it (it was really that bad lol), so I cleaned it, but then it was time for her nap, so no dice. And I wanted to go out, but I felt so sleep deprived and sick (most likely from not sleeping/eating), that I knew getting dressed and driving somewhere at that moment was not a smart idea. 

Anyways, the point was, I got her down for her second nap, she slept for an hour, and then woke up wide awake, and actually went to go "play", which consisted of me lying in bed feeling like death, and her bringing me random "toys" (ie non-toy random objects) to play with. Then Rob got home, and I handed her to him, and he made supper with her while I had an hour long bubble bath and did some reading. Bath and alone time = sane mama again. Came out of the tub, snuggled Tenley, and then put her into the tub for 20 minutes while dinner finished. Then She proceeded to throw all her dinner on the floor again, which sucks because we specifically made pasta because hse loves it and usually eats a ton, and we knew she was hungry. But alas, dinner on floor. Then after dinner I bundled her up and we went and did a leisurely grocery shopping trip to get out for a bit and also give Rob some alone time at home, since he gave me alone bath time. And then we came home, she ate some yogurt, and nursed to sleep. Hopefully she'll sleep well tonight. She needs it so much!

She's on such a sleep deficit right now. She goes to bed around 745-8pm, and then usually wakes up every 2.5-3 hours until about 5am. And then from 5am until 730ish, she nurses every 20-30 minutes until I finally give up and get out of bed. During the day she has two naps for usually a total of about 2 hours. But the last couple nights, she's been up and whining to leave the bed by like 630am. Last night she didn't sleep until after 9pm, and then was up from 530 onwards. Got out of bed just after 6, because even with nursing, she was -not- going back to bed. It's crazy. I'm adding it up and going ok... so you've had like 10 hours of sleep? And that's not taking out the time during the night she spends awake. It's crazy. IIRC, around this age they need around 14 hours, don't they? Too lazy to go get the book and check. Anyways, it's obvious she's in a sleep deficit, just like you were tlaking about with Ava, Lauri. It's just easier said than doen to fix it!!

On the good side though- Rob put her to sleep last night since I was at work. He fought from 8-9 to get her down, and then from 9-11 she was sleeping very lightly and/or up every 20 minutes or so. She finally settled at about 11, and I got home at 1130. I was pretty tired, and so was DH, so we're not 100% sure, but I don't think she woke up until that 530am wakeup when she woke for good. So she both technically, and actually, slept through the night. It has NEVER happened, that I've gotten home, and she's continued to sleep without nursing within 20 minutes of me being home. I think when I get into bed, she can smell me, and demands to nurse. But yeah, didn't wake up at all, so she slept for 6.5 hours.  That also means she didn't nurse from 230pm until 530am. That has me flabbergasted. And she's started refusing both almond and breastmilk in either sippy cup or bottle. So I'm feeling very odd and mixed feelings about this. She still definitely nurses while I'm home, so it's not like she's trying to wean, but the idea of going 15 hours without nursing is just insane to me. And even more unsettling is that even at 530am, after not nursed or pumped for that long, I wasn't even uncomfortably full. :/

Blah anyways, I thought I was only going to write a paragraph, but my brain is a mile a minute and I'm totally rambling. Coming back tomorrow night!

[AnnieA]

JJ, it's sounds like she is teething pretty bad. Are you opposed to giving her ibuprofen? If not, I would give her a full dose at bedtime and then as needed throughout the day but make sure you don't give it too close to interfere with the dose at bedtime. So for instance, if Ava needs it, I give it to her at lunchtime then DH can give it to her at bedtime. Our lives DRASTICALLY changed when I figured out all of Ava's sleep issues and behavior issues were from her 1st molars coming in. She wasn't mouthing stuff or drooling so I didn't suspect teething. But she was in a lot of pain.

[onetwoten]

She goes totally loopy on advil, but tolerates tylenol ok, so we give that as needed, along with teething tablets, sometimes camillia, and frozen teethers. And usually her amber necklace, but come to think of it, it's been off all day, because she got yogurt on it yesterday and it needed to be washed. I should make sure that goes back on tomorrow morning. She's one of those who when she's teething, her hands don't EVER leave her mouth, so thankfully she's pretty obvious about it. It just sucks that there's nothing really to do to help it. Even the tylenol doesn't seem to make much of a difference. :(

She's still sleeping, and it's been about 2.5 hours I think! Off to actually go to bed now. Got caught up on fb again. Big surprise!