Plan B Help ?

[Mom2Brendan]

I been trying to go the Empathy way with Brendan's homework issues even When I copying the I see your having struggles with homework .What's up?

He says shut up,leave me alone,I don't want to talk about it.

So what would be a better empathy way to respond to figure out what causing him to lack mental energy to focus on doing his homework and I don't feel I won't get an answer because by any mention of the word Homework it makes him go Grrrrrrrrr .

[mary934]

Maybe -  I have noticed that you are not so happy about homework what's up ?

if the kid thinks we are actually in Plan A under the guise of Plan B - he will need reassurance - so after the '  I don't want to talk about it , go away -  '  I am not interested in forcing you or making you do homework , I just want to listen to you , hear your perspective 

if he still does not want to talk -  we still want to find a way to get a conversation going so -  it would go like this 

I have noticed when I want to talk to you about homework , you seem to get upset at hearing the homework word - what's up or why do you get upset

so the conversation is not about his concerns about doing homework but his concerns about talking about homework with you

check the Plan B - cheat sheet to see that you are doing Plan b in a proactive way , not in the moment - best after you have connected and feel good about each other

keep up the conversations , perspective taking on non-emotive subjects as well

http://www.livesinthebalance.org/sites/default/files/Plan%20B%20Cheat%20Sheet%20Rev%2011-12-12.pdf

[Mom2Brendan]

It won't work I even mentioned the above and saying it that way even stating I'm just wanting to talk about it and even added I'm not going to force him to do this. He still won't open up and he's like Grrrrrrrrrr. Stop Talking about it.

[mary934]

I suggested talking about why he does not want to talk about it , not about his concerns over homework itself. Sometimes it helps to actually set up a time in advance . I am not a fan of homework but maybe if his teacher sees it as a problem she could try to do the cps process with him. Maybe ask your question on Ross Greene's Radio blog program. Not easy