A Saner TTC - The Wolf Moon

[Xerxella]

Hello all and welcome!

The original "Sane 2ww" thread was started by zenquaker. This is a continuation of the "Sane 2ww" thread and we felt "A Saner TTC" was a natural evolution. We will start a new thread each new moon and name it for the upcoming full moon.

Here's the gist of the original thread: this is a space to re-conceive the 2ww as a time of waiting and contemplation. Although we don't judge those who wish to poas frequently, symptom-spot, or do chart analysis, this a space set apart from that activity. We share our thoughts about other ways to approach the 2ww and all parts of our cycles. We encourage each other to feel our feelings fully and to greet all possible outcomes with openness.

We hope you'll join us!

[Xerxella]

Hi all! Sorry about the delay and absence!

I think I finally ovulated Friday-ish on cd 22. I guess that's not TOO surprising for a micarriage cycle. DH and I got together Friday, so there's always a chance for this cycle, but I doubt it.

But, I'm also talking to a new doc about everything. I'm seriously considering IVF with PGS (pre-implantation genetic screening). I would really like 2 more kids and even if I have one now, I'll probably be too old for another one after that even if we were successful! So, in the perfect world, I'd freeze enough embryos to have one child now and then another in a few years. That's the plan at least. And, this new doc is on board. So, next cycle I'll go through all the testing and we'll at least see where we stand.

But, I'd also like to throw out the next moon's thread if anybody would like to take it, I'd really appreciate it.

[Lidamama84]

Thanks for the new thread, Xerxella!  Glad to hear you are looking into your options for completing your family :)

AFM: I think I am around O day (CD 17)...DH and I dtd this morning, so we'll see what happens. AF is due on Jan 26th, so I guess we'll see then...I'm feeling a bit better about trying this month. What are the odds that we'll conceive first month actually trying? Probably not great :)

[prescottchels]

Thanks for the new thread Xerxella! Sounds like you have a great plan underway!!

LidaMama-we're on pretty much the same cycle!! Stay positive! It could happen!!

DP thinks it's a sticky one in there so we'll see... His unofficial dx's help me stay sane and happy, so much. We're both so sensitive and intuitive. It's nice to not be the only one in the partnership picking up on things. I haven't been experiencing symptoms like I did last month, which is kind of nice in a way. I'd love to just be delightfully surprised and not get anxious about anticipating outcomes. There's still a ways to go yet though so we'll see if I can hold on to this live and let live kind of attitude 

 Hi everybody!

[Lidamama84]

That's great your DP is so positive, Prescottchels, it really makes a difference in a relationship!  Do you O later in your cycle as well? I find it odd that FF insists I O on CD 11-12, when I have been inputting cm data and some OPK data which seem to confirm my gut feeling that I O around CD 18. That still gives me 10 days until AF, so that's not a super long LP, but long enough, I understand. I really kind of wish I had never done fertility research. Back when we TTC'd DD1 and DD2, I thought you could get pregnant anytime you had unprotected sex. Yes, really.  Now, I think about timing, and cycle days and I'm not really any happier or calmer for my knowledge. I used to also only think you could test after AF was late. And I didn't know about TWWs. I was 5 or 6 weeks along with DD1 when I found out, even though we had been trying.

[Livnkadesmom]

Lidamama- I am with u in the research. I think to much information can be a not-so-good thing sometimes. I easily got pregnant with DD1anf with my second (it ended in a loss). With DS, I researched all kinda of fertility issues and it just gave me a whole new set of things to worry about.

AFM- I am new to this thread but I need to be "sane". I am not sure on my O date but think I am anywhere between 11-15 DPO. I took a test Saturday afternoon but it was BFN! hoping maybe I tested too early. Having symptoms that could be considered either early preg or AF, so we will see what happens this week. If no AF by Saturday morning, I will test with FMU (which I didn't do Saturday). ANYWAY, enough of that. Looking forward to getting to spend this "sane" time with you all!

[Lidamama84]

Welcome, Livnkadesmom!

[aloya]

Hello all--a quick introduction:

I was on my mothering.com DDC quite a bit for my first pregnancy (celebrating his third birthday next week), but this is the first time this go round. I just ended a cycle in which I was hopeful that I had conceived--CM, cervical position pointed that way--but recognized wishful thinking even as I was thinking wishfully. And all of the "symptom-spotting" websites seem to create a hyped-up bubble I don't like (even though I sought them out). So many women wrote in that they were "scared" that AF might come. Disappointed, weary or even heart-sick, yes, but somehow I feel that fear of your own body--cooperative or not--shouldn't really enter into the equation. So I'm happy to join this and only this thread, with its zen feel, for as long as I need to; to swear off symptom spotting "research"; and be present with the cycle. And I'm grateful for all of your company!

A bit about me: I was able to get pregnant the second month of trying with both of my previous pregnancies. However, I lost my second pregnancy at 15 weeks just about a year ago, and have had trouble ever since. Trouble predicting the actual length of the cycle, figuring out when my body was ready again, but really, it comes down to no luck getting pregnant after almost a year of trying. Though I must admit, I've been content to take my time and let it happen when it did--wasn't demanding about constant BD during ovulation, etc. I'm getting serious now, though (although I still reserve the right to drift into sleep when putting my son to bed instead of getting up to have sex at least once every few months, even on an ovulation day). I've resolved to wake up every morning to chart my temp, to learn all of the fertility alphabet soup, to benefit from all your collective wisdom, and to rejoice when one of us moves on! 

[John16n33]

Hello again everyone. I am just trying to get by and focusing more on finding a place to student teach and not focusing a lot on TTC.  I am only on cd 8 so I am sure that will change in the next couple weeks though lol.

[Livnkadesmom]

Aloya- we have so much in common. I got pregnant easily the first two times, however my 2nd pregnancy ended in a loss at 24 weeks. After that my body my cycles changed dramatically. DH and I tried for a year to get pregnant again with no luck. Someone told me about temping and once I started, I was preg in 3 months. I have often wondered if the loss I experienced had anything to do with those changes in my cycle.

[LilyKay]

Livnkadesmom and aloya  ! We're in the same boat, got pregnant so easily the first time around with extremely ill-timed sex (4 or 5 days before O, I'd swear it was even more but the Internet says sperm surviving more than 5 days is akin to winning the lottery). And now it's our 4th month TTC #2 with very well-timed BD and no luck. Go figure...

Everyone else

I thought of our thread here last evening. I was walking outside with DD to the bus and she loves the moon (don't you love 2-year-olds). Wants to look at it every night and say good night . When we finally found it, it was her first time seeing a "new" moon so she got so very excited! The only thought that popped into my head was "oh, there's going to be a new Sane TTC thread!"

AFM - AF showed up yesterday. I was feeling blue most of the morning and did a ton of research about Vitex, and vitamin B6.  I've decided against both because my cycles are pretty regular and I always ovulate so if it is working, let's not fix it. I did end up buying a Kindle though and I'm looking forward to reading "The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant". I doubt I'll learn new things (I've charted to prevent for almost 3 years) but I just desperately need to know I'm doing something. Has any of you guys read it?

Anyway, I talked to DP yesterday about how he feels about sperm tests (to test the waters) and he surprised me with a "yeah why not? We've been quite tired and exhausted lately". I guess in a couple of months if we're still not pregnant after very well-timed BD then we'll run some tests.

[revolting]

Welcome Liv and Aloya!

Xer - Glad to hear you found a doc who supports your plans. I hope the testing works out.

Pres - Your partner sounds so supportive. I hope his intuition is right on.

Lily - Oh, I'm jealous about the kindle. My library lets you check out nooks for a few weeks, but there are huge lines on them so it takes months to get one. Well, I've been borrowing one for the last few weeks and, oh, how I would love an e-reader! I haven't read the book. Let me know how it is. I keep thinking about reading something other than Taking Charge of Your Fertility, which is the only TTC book I've read, but I feel like the more focus I give TTC, the less chillax I am about the whole thing. Oh, and I think your DD is just pretty adorable with saying goodnight to the moon.

AFM: cycle day 7 today. no fertility signs or anything. getting ready to go on a run and back to building my chicken coop (that's really turned into a behemoth of a thing).

Baby dust to all!

[prescottchels]

LidaMama-You're so funny! When I was charting several years ago my O day seemed to fall anywhere between CD 9 & 14 so that's kind of on the early side... but I really don't know for sure now when it happens. I haven't had any significant changes to my body or cycle so I'm just working under the assumption that it still falls in those range of days based on CM and libido levels. This cycle we just kinda started BDing before CD 9 and did it everyday til DP had to leave town for work on CD 13 hoping that we hit the mark lol If it doesn't happen this cycle I'll get some OPK's and see if that helps, but I really don't want to get too crazy about it if at all possible. I'm 35 though, almost 36 so I can't really afford to lollygag around. It's such a fine balance... If mine & DP's intuitions are correct implantation happened Saturday and from what I read it takes 3-4 days for hcg to start producing and another 2-3 days for there to be enough to spill over into the urine so perhaps I'll test this coming saturday... my box of 50 wondfo's just arrived 

Welcome  Livnkadesmom & Aloya!! You're sure to learn a lot here and get lots of support too!

 Hey everybody!!

[Lidamama84]

Prescottchels, I sure hope you don't need 50 wondfos!!!

I kind of wish I had tracked my cycle previously, because then I would have a better idea of what my normal is. My DH was sleepy yesterday morning so I snuck in a tired bd, and maybe we'll get one in tonight, but he's having some major back pain, so we'll see how that goes. OPK was VERY faint positive last night, and faint positive this morning, so hoping my surge is later this pm and our bd yesterday will suffice. Fx'd for an October baby.

[Livnkadesmom]

Hello to all ladies! I truly enjoy reading all your positive posts. I know some of you have mentioned charting and I can not suggest strong enough about temping. I was under the textbook blindness that I O'd on CD 14, but when I was trying to get preg with DS someone suggested temping. I learned within the first month that I actually O'd on CD 18. It is amazing how much our body tells us when we figure out how to listen. I may have missed the point from this thread about remaining sane, but I figured out that I was able to stay more sane when I knew what was going on in my body. I strongly recommend temping and fertility friend has a great app that does all the work for you.

[LilyKay]

revolting - I've been putting off buying a kindle forever because we  bought a place and are moving in April so tons of payments coming our way. Monday I was so bummed about getting my period that I just needed to do something for myself so I bought the cheapest kindle . I figured every month I'm not pregnant I'm working a month longer so extra cash.

The book is ok, written in a friendly girlfriend-chat kind of way. Not much new so far, but to be fair I've charted my fertility for a long time a few years ago so I knew a lot of the details. I didn't care too much for her diet advice but again to be fair, I follow the non-mainstream whole-food diet. So...

I liked that she files using all OPK, fertility monitors and charting at the same time not under crazy and obsessive but smart. So far I've been only charting and my CM & temps match so I'm wondering if I should get ovulation kits in addition to that (Fertility monitors are a no-go now, I could've bought the kindle Paperwhite for that kind of money ). Anyone doing both?

The only tidbit I did not know was that BD one or two days before O (ideally when you have also EWCM) is statistically much more effective than BD on the day of O. She mentions studies where the pregnancy rates were 12 times higher when sex occurred 1 or 2 days before O than on O.

AFM - CD3 and feeling pretty relaxed by now. Every month after AF arrives and before O starts I feel GREAT. I'd just wish the hormones wouldn't mess me up like that. My mood becomes a roller coast that crashes the day before AF and then bam, I'm in a with DP.

[mamacatsbaby]

I'd like to join here as I'm in need of some sanity . AF is coming in and I feel all kinds of something. I'll BBL once I'm not feeling so, IDK, emotional. Hope you ladies are all having a lovely day...

[prescottchels]

Lidamama-that's what DP said too lol I figure I'll sell &/or pass along whatever I don't use. The price was just so good. I couldn't pass them up!  FX'd for sure!!

LilyKay-that sounds like perfect reasoning for buying your kindle!

I've read that having swimmers in there waiting for the egg is the way to go. So I'm glad that book confirms that. I'd do OPK's to know when to stop BD'ing, not to know when to start, personally... 

There are supps you can take to help your hormones even out like Maca, omega oils like evening primrose, flax, fish, etc, also chinese herb pills called Free & Easy Wanderer Plus. I hope you can get some relief!! Just TTC is hard enough w/o whackadoo hormones causing more trouble. 

ETA:Welcome Mamacat! Big hugs to you 

[John16n33]

X-posted from the ONE thread:

Hey ladies I have some good news and some bad news....

The good news is I FOUND A PLACE FOR STUDENT TEACHING!

The bad news is, it's in Texas and I leave next Thursday.  Dd and I don't want to leave Dh for 4 months and I don't want to put off getting pregnant for that long either :(  There is a bit of good news though that I am supposed to O this weekend which means we can still TTC and possibly catch an egg before I go.  I am praying big time that it happens.

[Lidamama84]

Wow, that's great news about your placement, John!!! But that sucks about leaving your DH . Fx'd that you guys catch that egg!!