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any older moms? I'm 42 and just got a lucky surprise :)

post #1 of 43
Thread Starter 

I had fertility tx with my first DD  - took us 16 months to get pregnant. That was 4 years ago when I was 38. She was born when I was 39. I was on the TTC and infertility forum and then the Oct. 2009 DDC at that time.

So all of a sudden I'm pregnant without trying at 42! I was so sure DD would be an only child b/c of my age and fertility issues, so this is a big paradigm shift, if everything turns out ok.

Of course I'm more concerned with getting all the early testing I can. But it's also a big shift to imagine being a family of 4. And I had such a hard pregnancy the first time, I'm kind of scared. I'm only 4.5 weeks and already with the nausea and being starving all the time.

Also we just moved from Seattle to Colorado so I have to find all new doctors and hospitals and everything.

I guess I'm just trying to adjust and it's weird when you think you're done and you get a surprise.

anyone else have experience with this or any advice?

post #2 of 43
Hi, joyakshi! You are not alone in the age category. I am 40 and feeling it. Though this baby wasn't a surprise, it will still be an adjustment. I am almost 8 weeks, starving, tired, and struggling with morning sickness. How is your family responding to his surprise pregnancy?
post #3 of 43
I will be 40 when this one is born. S/he is definitely a happy surprise. I am in awe of how different this feels -- my first bio kid was born when I was 34, and I was never so tired as I am now!
Last night, I went to bed just after the wee one: suddenly, I needed sleep NOW. I don't even think I explained to DH, I just fell out in the bed.
Have managed to avoid vomiting with near-constant application of candied ginger, ginger tea, etc., and regular small meals, so that is better this time around. Will go back to same office, though not same doctor, as my OB retired. Hoping the new one is as good. She won't see me for another two weeks, though--the wait seems crazy long.
post #4 of 43
Thread Starter 

Glad I'm not the only one! Congrats to you both as well!

I developed POTS and pre-eclampsia with my first and neither were treated. I finally got treated for POTS this past fall, so I have been really worried about making it through a pregnancy with untreated POTS again. But I found out today I can take most of my meds, so I feel better.

For morning sickness I'm dosing on vitamins - B6 & magnesium in particular, and avoiding iron in my prenatal at the moment. I get anemic easy so I'll have to start taking it eventually, but not yet.

I'm also making sure I'm eating every 2 hours. Last pregnancy my m/w made me feel bad about the foods that I actually could eat so i barely ate anything and felt terrible the whole time.
 

post #5 of 43
I turn 40 in April and this baby is super unexpected. I'm a wee bit nervous about my health this time around. I have chronic high Bp and I usually have GD. This will be our 5th baby. I'm excited, but really feeling the butterflies this time around.
post #6 of 43

Blessings to you all!  I love hearing about older moms because I have always wanted a big family but didn't have my first baby until I was 33.  I am a SAH, baby-wearing, bed-sharing, full-term nursing mama, so my DS was almost two before my period came back.  We are pregnant with #2 now, but at this pace if I want three or four I am definitely looking at a 40-ish pregnancy.  Sending good thoughts your way, and hoping to be in your shoes someday!
 

post #7 of 43

I am 38 1/2 and this is my first.  Glad to see other people over 35 on here. 

post #8 of 43

i am 38 (will be 39 when baby is born).

I have an 11 year old and do not remember being so exhausted in early pregnancy last time.

 

it is so awesome to see older mamas on here!!!

 

my only complaint so far (at 4.4 weeks) is that i had my 1st OBGYN appointment today

and the dr started rattling off statistics (1/130 chance for downe syndrome, trisomy 18 & spina bifida, etc.)

and wanted to know if he could book my first prenatal screening at 11 weeks.

 

i did not have to do this last time...was this info shared with other older mamas as well???

 

also i am curious as to whether you have chosen to have a midwife or OBGYN?

post #9 of 43

It's so nice to see other 'older' moms here! This is my first, I'm 39 and if I deliver close to my EDD of 9/17, I'll still be 39:) Then, I'll turn 40 on the 27th. 

amanda bee - I've decided to go with a midwife (she's also a naturopath which is awesome) and do a home birth (possibly water birth). She has been very complimentary about being an older mom which I've found very comforting.

 

I actually was pregnant (first pregnancy) last summer but growth stopped at 7.5 weeks... During that pregnancy I felt very nervous, was really stressed and read every possible thing you can imagine about AMA pregnancy, testing, complications, etc... 

This time I feel very good about being pregnant and decided not to be a crazy worry wort (which I have to remind myself of from time to time). I had blood work done last week (5 weeks) and everything came back great except my thyroid is a little off so I've got to do something about that.

I'm on the fence about having an early ultrasound to confirm viability, but am leaning towards doing it at either 8 or 10 weeks. Last time I had the u/s at 8 weeks and no heartbeat, so that's kind of in my head and I'm thinking that that I'd like to go in and see/hear that heartbeat this time.

Then, I'm thinking of doing the anatomy u/s at 18 or 20 weeks but not sure about that one yet. What I am sure about is that I'm not going to do any invasive testing and get all worried about possible 'markers'. I have read about so many women who tested like crazy, had 'markers' and ended up with a perfectly healthy baby and regretted all of the stress they put themselves though during their pregnancy. I want to have as happy and stress free of a pregnancy as possible and don't want to be living test to test result throughout, if that makes sense. This is just how I'm feeling and I completely understand anyone who decides to run the whole gamut of tests, it's really a personal choice and you have to go with is most comfortable and what feels right to you.     

 

Anyway, happy to be pregnant and congrats to all of you as well!!!

post #10 of 43

Ill be 38 when this one is born. It's my forth. I started at 21!! LOL! 

post #11 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuzieSmiles View Post

It's so nice to see other 'older' moms here! This is my first, I'm 39 and if I deliver close to my EDD of 9/17, I'll still be 39:) Then, I'll turn 40 on the 27th. 

amanda bee - I've decided to go with a midwife (she's also a naturopath which is awesome) and do a home birth (possibly water birth). She has been very complimentary about being an older mom which I've found very comforting.

 

I actually was pregnant (first pregnancy) last summer but growth stopped at 7.5 weeks... During that pregnancy I felt very nervous, was really stressed and read every possible thing you can imagine about AMA pregnancy, testing, complications, etc... 

This time I feel very good about being pregnant and decided not to be a crazy worry wort (which I have to remind myself of from time to time). I had blood work done last week (5 weeks) and everything came back great except my thyroid is a little off so I've got to do something about that.

I'm on the fence about having an early ultrasound to confirm viability, but am leaning towards doing it at either 8 or 10 weeks. Last time I had the u/s at 8 weeks and no heartbeat, so that's kind of in my head and I'm thinking that that I'd like to go in and see/hear that heartbeat this time.

Then, I'm thinking of doing the anatomy u/s at 18 or 20 weeks but not sure about that one yet. What I am sure about is that I'm not going to do any invasive testing and get all worried about possible 'markers'. I have read about so many women who tested like crazy, had 'markers' and ended up with a perfectly healthy baby and regretted all of the stress they put themselves though during their pregnancy. I want to have as happy and stress free of a pregnancy as possible and don't want to be living test to test result throughout, if that makes sense. This is just how I'm feeling and I completely understand anyone who decides to run the whole gamut of tests, it's really a personal choice and you have to go with is most comfortable and what feels right to you.     

 

Anyway, happy to be pregnant and congrats to all of you as well!!!

 

suziesmiles you have a great attitude (i dig the try to be stress free approach)!!!!! and your midwife sounds amazing (sorry about your loss in the summer)

my EDD is also in sept. (9/26), and my partner and I feel pretty much the same about trying to avoid any invasive tests.

i started doing research and saw the same results about 'markers'. I am going to try to emulate your stress free anti-worry wort attitude!hippie.gif

 

I contacted a midwife this morning and I am waiting to hear back from her.

I am kind of nervous as i am going to move when i am 5 months (and not sure the midwife here will take me on as a client).

I also set up an appointment with a new midwife today (in the new city) who told me to bring all my pre-natal records.

 

 

congrats everyone!!! just out of curiosity, i'd love to hear about other (older) mama's experiences about how this pregnancy differs from their (1st, 2nd , 3rd or 4th).

post #12 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by amanda bee View Post

suziesmiles you have a great attitude (i dig the try to be stress free approach)!!!!! and your midwife sounds amazing (sorry about your loss in the summer)

my EDD is also in sept. (9/26), and my partner and I feel pretty much the same about trying to avoid any invasive tests.

i started doing research and saw the same results about 'markers'. I am going to try to emulate your stress free anti-worry wort attitude!hippie.gif

I contacted a midwife this morning and I am waiting to hear back from her.

I am kind of nervous as i am going to move when i am 5 months (and not sure the midwife here will take me on as a client).

I also set up an appointment with a new midwife today (in the new city) who told me to bring all my pre-natal records.

congrats everyone!!! just out of curiosity, i'd love to hear about other (older) mama's experiences about how this pregnancy differs from their (1st, 2nd , 3rd or 4th).

Thanks amanda bee! I really do have to remind myself to mellow out sometimes, especially with this little thyroid thing I just dealt with but I really do think it's important to have as little stress as possible and send happy, positive vibes to our little ones:) hippie.gifLet's pass it on! Peace.giflove.gifnamaste.gif

 

Hope that your midwife situation works out and that the transition goes smoothly. And, I too would be curious to hear about other (older) mama's experiences with how it differs now...? I really have been surprised how tired I've been and can't help but wonder if it's age related...?

post #13 of 43
I am totally so much more tired this go around (this is BB#2). Yesterday, I laid down for a 15 min power nap and woke nearly an hour later! Definitely suspect it is the difference between 34 and nearly 40.

This time around, I have so much more going on that I occasionally forget about being pg. Just roughhousing with a friend's kid (or my own, for that matter) takes me out of my head. It is good, because it stops me being obsessive and worried.
post #14 of 43

cmu204 i did the nap thing today (except i slept for almost 3 hours)...not too productive this afternoon.

             i think the exhaustion is totally age related...

 

is anyone else spacey? since becoming pregnant i have become so incredibly forgetful (or is this also age related...lol)

i do not remember feeling so forgetful last pregnancy...(or perhaps i am just forgetting that i forgot).

 

SuzieSmiles: I am bummed. I cannot find a midwife to take me on as a client here (for only 3 months)...i will have to wait for midwifery care in the USA.the OBGYN i have (the only one available through the university) is very traditional. I managed to stave off my 1st u/s until 11 weeks (when he wants me to get a NT) but i am worried about the stress of the "markers" ( i don't want to open the door to living test to test either BUT i feel like i need some sort of reassurance)....it feels like such a double edge sword. if i was 10 years younger and not deemed high risk i would refuse all testing except for maybe the anatomy.... 

 

what are other mama's opting to do? If you get a nuchal scan & have high markers do you think will you get an amnio or do CVS?

has anyone done these tests before?

 

has anyone had the NT (with high markers) and not opted to do further testing?

 

 i'd love to hear about your experiences.

post #15 of 43
Hi ladies, happy to join you smile.gif

I will be 37 when this baby is born. I had two kids very young (19 & 21- shotgun wedding, anyone?) and DP and I had our first together about a year and a half ago when I was 34. We decided DS should have a close in age sibling, so here we go again! After this the shop will be closing, we're still trying to decide who will get the snip.
post #16 of 43
Hi all, this is #1 for me after an early m/c at 5.5 weeks in oct last year.
I was married for 12 years but we had no kids, I am now divorced and with a new partner, I will b 37 when it arrives.
No one ever told me pregnancy would b this hard, do tired, nauseous, bloated, gassy and moody!
post #17 of 43
Jennyanydots, in hetero couples I always say the fella should get the snip. It's major surgery for the woman, while a vas is generally outpatient.
post #18 of 43

i agree with cmu204, it seems like a much easier procedure for men than women.

post #19 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by amanda bee View Post

SuzieSmiles: I am bummed. I cannot find a midwife to take me on as a client here (for only 3 months)...i will have to wait for midwifery care in the USA.the OBGYN i have (the only one available through the university) is very traditional. I managed to stave off my 1st u/s until 11 weeks (when he wants me to get a NT) but i am worried about the stress of the "markers" ( i don't want to open the door to living test to test either BUT i feel like i need some sort of reassurance)....it feels like such a double edge sword. if i was 10 years younger and not deemed high risk i would refuse all testing except for maybe the anatomy.... 

what are other mama's opting to do? If you get a nuchal scan & have high markers do you think will you get an amnio or do CVS?

has anyone done these tests before?

has anyone had the NT (with high markers) and not opted to do further testing?

 i'd love to hear about your experiences.

Hi amanda bee - bummer that you weren't able to get a midwife to assist you for the 3 months you'll be up there... Do you have someone in mind for when you move? If so, you might be able to get some assistance/guidance by phone or email until you are able to get together in person...

I've decided to go with the 8 week ultrasound (more for viability than anything else - due to my experience last pregnancy - had an 8 week u/s and growth had stopped a 7.3 weeks, missed miscarriage, etc... was an awful experience and I'd really like to make this 8 week milestone a happy one with that little heartbeat). I'm still thinking of also doing the 18 or 20 week anatomy scan... And, I know that I've already voiced my opinions on testing, etc... but just wanted to reiterate that some of those tests be dangerous and can potentially cause a miscarriage to an otherwise perfectly healthy baby, this fact scares the heck out of me which is the main reason I've opted not to have them done . Other reason is the stress of living test to test as I previously discussed. Take some time and do some research (this is what I did from all different sources - mainstream to alternative sites, forums, blogs, etc.), see what rings true with you, pray, meditate, etc... about it and you'll know what is the right choice for you and your little one.

I know it's really helpful to hear what other mamas are planning or have done in the past, please chime in ladies:) Love to hear from you!

 

serena76 - sorry for your loss in October, I had one in August... And, I feel ya for sure about pregnancy being hard - I had always believed it was the most natural thing in the world and I'd have that lovely pregnancy glow and just blow sunshine... all of the time (maybe it is like this when you're younger, who knows)! I had lots of bloating in the beginning, have been really tired it seems since ovulation, no sex drive, some headaches, backaches and these food aversions are so frustrating! I hardly want to eat at all lately and it seems that what I do want are things that are not healthy, really craving sweets too, weird. But, the bright side is that I've heard that the 2nd trimester is a lot better, so I'm really looking forward to that. I have to tell myself whenever I feel crappy that I have a little life growing inside me and it makes me smile, I rub my little bump and know it will all be worth it in the end:) Hope it gets better for all of us soon.grouphug.gif

post #20 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmu204 View Post

Jennyanydots, in hetero couples I always say the fella should get the snip. It's major surgery for the woman, while a vas is generally outpatient.
Yeah, I always thought it was a no brainier, too. Recently I read some stuff about the long term effects of vasectomy, though, and I want to do some more research before we decide. Stuff like increased Alzheimer's risk, sperm backup causing autoimmune issues, etc. I don't know how valid all that is, but it reopened the subject for me.
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