My 5 year old seems to be completely addicted to TV. We are living with my mother and she wants TV on all the time. I give my daughters TV time and TV privileges get taken away for bad behavior, but my mom will pull them into her room, close the door and put TV or DVDs on for them and completely disrespects every rule I put into place with my children.
I know this is very difficult for a 5 year old to deal with. When we talk about it she will say that she wants to do things other than watching TV and that she is okay having her TV privileges taken away...but when my mom gets home she manipulates my children and when I say it's bedtime my daughter has a ridiculous tantrum about it every time.
Frankly it is a huge thing and it is not just the TV/DVD thing, but she has screamed, woke up her sister, broken toys, and tries to manipulate and control everything. Will whisper and tell her sister to do things she's not supposed to do, tell me what I'm going to do, sneak out of the room, lock doors, slam doors, tell me I hate her...etc.
I very rarely yell at my daughters at all. I am in general(not perfect) very neutral and try to engage her in choosing correct behavior...but because she has a lot of problems every time she watches TV and I know it is creating a lot of problems with her emotionally, I want it to be restricted...
My mom doesn't respect this...my mom has hit my child, yells all the time(the only way she really ever communicates), manipulates, controls, uses shame, guilt, blame and lots of insults and will pit my daughers against each other, show favoritism, etc. Worst of all, she doesn't talk to me at all, doesn't respect my parenting and clearly is trying to create a wedge and wage a war between who will have their say with my kids. She insults me all the time and I am very much trying to move asap...and hopefully it won't be more than a couple months more...but I've been trying to organize things with my daughter to help her regulate and balance her behaviors with my help, rather than letting my mom dictate her behaviors so much...but that is not working.
As much as she knows my mom is mean to her and calls her "my mean grandma" she loves that my mom will give her food I wouldn't give her, buy her a ton of crap and make her feel that if she dresses perfectly(with only the clothes my mom has bought), wear her hair a certain way, watch what she wants her to watch, etc. she can please her...or something. So there is a very horrible routine of bedtime and TV, getting dressed and other situations where she goes against our plans and follows my mom and makes a lot of chaos when i ask her to do what we've decided or if I go against something my mom has told her or allowed her to do.
What would you do?