I would like to say a great big huge thank you to all of the great people on here. I'm much more of a troll than a poster, and reading all of these posts have been a godsend for me. You all help me keep my sanity and don't even know it.
But..... I am just looking for some thoughts from the steps out there. Some of you know the difficult situation I'm in, so Ill sum it up. My DP's wife... soon to be ex... basically abandoned him and took his son with her almost three years ago. He fell into a deep depression and didn't fight the situation, he finally got his head out of his rear end and started questioning giving her his entire pay check and working 80 + hours a week and just living for the once every other week he got to drive 2-3 hours to her just to see his sun (under her ever watchful eye.)
So; fast forward 8 months, they both have lawyers, she is always screaming and yelling about how evil he is and hes cheating on her, I'm a whore, hes a drunk, she is perfect, he needs to give her more money. There was a court date before Christmas so DP could have some alone time on Christmas with his son. She had a death in the family 2 weeks before the court date (close family member) so in efforts to not be an a** he canceled court and she said they could work it out between them. FF.. she insists on coming to our home to *inspect* and then meet me. I had no problem with her seeing our home is safe and clean. Up to this point I had not met his son, but I made sure his room was nice, complete with toys, and he has his own bathroom decorated kid style. She met me, I insisted outside our home because I did not want her interrogation to be my first meeting with DP's son. She badmouthed DP the whole time, asked things that frankly were none of her business (do we plain on having children, what are my religious beliefs, family.) She also looked me up and my family and started talking about where my father lives, and the house I owned with my ex... all none of her business! urgh! I sucked it up and played nice so DP could see his son for Christmas.
In the end, she insisted on staying all day Christmas, took all the toys DP and I got his son made snippy comments about "family pictures" and made sure I knew they are still married. I dealt with it. took it all.... and its the last time!!
So question is, am I unreasonable to say that is the last time that woman will ever cross my threshold. I dislike her. She even made a comment during our meet and great that we may be friends in the future She has called me names, yells at DP, makes outlandish accusations and overall does everything she can to make his (and my) life miserable.
I know should the day come that we start our own family I will *NOT* want my children exposed to this person. DP says that will cause problems between our children and his son. I simply dislike her so much that I just cant stand the thought, sight, or sound of her.... Can this kind of detachment from the ex work going forward? Has anyone here done it successfully? Am I being unreasonable? I want what is best for his son, I just don't want her in my family.