I am just looking for suggestions on how I can better my life as a stay-at-home wife, soon to be mother.
I feel that I need to do something drastic to make things better around here (our home, my life, etc). But I am not sure what to do or where to start. I have chronic fatigue, and I love to take walks, but sometimes am just too tired. I like to sit outside (I'm in southern california so its doable year round), but the noise of the private airport nearby bothers me sometimes, even though it's not terrible. Those are really two things that make me happy, but otherwise, sometimes I feel at a loss. I realize I sound pessimistic right now, so please don't tell me to pep up...I know, I know.
Lately hubby and I have been arguing more, and he has had to work a lot more (not his fault). When he does come home, he's exhausted and needs "down time" and so he zones out to his ipad or the TV. It drives me insane, because I get really lonely during the day. (right now I am 5 months pregnant, so we will have a family soon, but still, I would like to improve the next 4 months). I am not really sure who's fault all this is, nor does it really matter. It could be mine for being needy, could be his. Money is tight of course, so that is a source of frustration. We can't go take a vacation or do something fun like go out to the movies without feeling guilty about it, because we can't afford it.
I just feel at a loss as to how to fix things. I feel like if there was no TV, he would focus on me, but maybe we would just fight more. Sometimes it seems to be the only thing keeping the peace and bringing us together, watching a funny show.
I am always hungry because I'm pregnant and I'm too tired to cook, and we can't afford take-out every night, nor is it healthy. I expect his help with some of this, like cooking, buying groceries, but he is sick of me asking for so much help, he just doesn't have time or energy or patience with how much he works. His job is very mentally taxing and he works a lot. The reason I'm cooking less now is primarily the chronic fatigue, combined now with depression (last month it has surfaced because of him working more and me being more isolated. I have always stayed home, but now he's gone a lot more and is more tired, less likely to do anything wtih me when he gets home).
I feel like I can't keep up with everything. I am just so tired, from my health issues combined with the pregnancy, and feeling depressed too. I am unwilling to take medication right now. My parents have offered to pay someone to come help me out a litlte each week, but it has been hard enough finding someone, and I wouldn't know where to have them start helping, or how to organize their efforts. I really need someone here more than a little. I have a hard time driving because of my drowsiness, which is another health issue. So there are a lot of big obstacles. I normally manage okay, but with my husband and I now fighting a lot, there is just not time for him to help, because we waste our time fighting, so he can't be helping with the house/errands.
Does anyone know where I should even start???? I was hoping getting rid of the TV would free up some time, both mine and his, and it would push me outside. But maybe it would just make me feel more depressed and isolated, since I'm often not feeling up to driving anywhere b/c of my tiredness.