It sounds like you are coming from a place of being frustrated by the way some (many?) families in your life are handling discipline, especially in regard to older children (7?) acting out in an aggressive way. That maybe you are looking for some explanations in our greater culture as well as within GD (do these families identify with GD?).
In my experience acting out aggressively at age 7 is rare, which I think is why some of us were picturing a much younger child. I've never seen a 7 year old hit. I imagine there have been the occasional "intense" argument at my DC's school but I have never heard of a child hitting another.
Do you feel your community identifies with GD and within this community you are seeing a lot of justification and excuses made for aggressive behavior? In young children as well as older children? I can see why that would be super frustrating.
Because your post kind of started out in a general way and now seems to be moving towards some specific situations that are worrying, I wonder if maybe it wouldn't help you to try to get some feedback about those things specifically.
I know you are frustrated and working out some really difficult relationship challenges. I do not consider the people who are disciplining their kids this way or treating you this way to be practicing GD.