Almost 5 year old with a stubborn streak about going potty

[GISDiva]

DS will be 5 in April and has been potty trained for a goood long while now.  But he *still* waits until the very last second to go potty, even though he'll be dancing around for a good 45 minutes and it's obvious he has to go.  When we suggest going, he denies it up and down, even while he's holding himself.  It's crazy-making.

Very, very rarely he just barely makes it and gets a little pee on his underwear which upsets him very much.  I'm not sure how much more talking I can do along the lines of listening to our body and "see, if you didn't wait until the last minute this wouldn't happen".  He has a stubborn streak a mile long, and I know it's a power struggle with him.

There's also the issue of asking him to go potty before we go for a long car ride or something, you can imagine how he responds to us asking him to just try and see what happens.    He will almost always go when we finally get him to try and then DS and I laugh about it.  It would be nice if the preceding conversation about going in the first place was as light-hearted.

He has no issues whatsoever at day care, but I bet it's because the day is so routine-based and everyone else is going too, so it's not as big a deal.  Plus, it's no fun to have a power struggle with teacher, that would go nowhere. 

I've been told "it's a boy thing", but I'd like some more helpful responses.    Anyone?

[pbjmama]

Do your best to let this go, when your child figures out that it isn't that big of a deal to you anymore he can let it not be a big deal to him. If he wets himself he can change himself. Don't say anything when you see he has to go. Don't say 'I told you so'. If he doesn't want to go before a car trip the worst thing that happens is he pees himself in the car, right? Bet that will only happen once. The other option is that you have to make a stop on your trip, probably adding 15 minutes to your schedule.

I don't think its a boy thing, I think it is a power thing and it can happen w boys or girls.

I think your other options would be to make it a routine at home but your kids may be very resistant.

[mnj77]

I recently noticed that DD (almost 6) was going potty more often.  I totally thought she had diabetes until I realized she has just stopped holding it until the last minute!  So, they do figure this out on their own, but I know how uncomfortable it feels just watching them dance around.  I usually waited until DD asked for something, then told her to go potty first.  "Mom, can I have a snack please?"  "Sure, I'll make it for you and you can have it after you go potty."