Queer Single Parents by Choice?

[queererlemons]

Well, hello!



Are there any queer solo parents lurking around here?

My every intention is to conceive this year as a "single mother by choice", although that term was coined mostly to describe presumably straight women who couldn't find Mr. Perfect before having to worry, and decided to take matters into their own hands. I just know that I'm disinterested in a nuclear family, and will be a much more confident parent if I am able to place romance in a separate compartment from parenthood. I have a good friend with whom I have a known donor contract and I plan on beginning TTC in the late summer. I don't know any queer folks who are doing what I'm doing with similar intentions, and I don't know anyone (queer or not) who intentionally conceived alone at my age (I'm 25). I have a lot of support from my own amazing, rag-tag community of (mostly childless) queers, as well as my given family (hi mom!), and I'm a long-time infant nanny/doula who just started a business in family support consulting. I know I'm ready ready ready... but I do find that pioneering this particular frontier can get lonely!



I used to post under the name "habitat", about a year ago, so if this all sounds eerily familiar, that may be why.
Edited by queererlemons - 1/17/13 at 11:01am

[pokeyAC]

back!  I like your new username.  I know there is at least one other person currently TTC as a single parent in the Queer Conceptions forum.  Plus there are some others who have done it in the past.  I would encourage you to peruse the Queer Conceptions thread and join in if you feel so called.  We have a lot of knowledgeable and suppportive folks around here and I believe some may even live near you.  Good luck!

[queererlemons]

Hi Pokey, thanks so much for the reply and the welcome! I will definitely head on over to the Queer Conceptions thread. How comforting to know that there are other queers around here who plan to parent solo! Super exciting.

[SeahorseWoods]

I am. My story is very parallel yours. I am going to be starting insemination attempts this weekend. I am trans, genderqueer, poly and single. I agree fully on the 'wishing my romantic life and (co-)parenting to be separate'. I actually just joined this page to respond to this post it resonated so much. I'd love to know other folks on a similar path through what is culturally such a couple and/or hetero oriented/dominated path. I live in a place where I am not friends with a lot of queers close by, I moved out to a rural community, although I am still close with homos in the cities. There are folks with kids in both places, but I don't know that many single parents, especially queer ones. especially ones who are doing this all this way on purpose. so. hi.
 

[Friederike]

Seahorse - Welcome.
Come on over to the Queer Conceptions thread if you want. It's a good place to talk about everything.
In my area it is definitely not that unusual anymore to do it on your own. In my queer TTC group one single mom (age 28) just had her baby and another gal just joined and is planning to start this later this year. I see some some great benefits of being a single parent and if I weren't in a relationship I would have done it too, probably at a much young age even.

[KnittingTigers]

Just wanted to say welcome to the new folks! While I'm now partnered, old, and boring, I started this process as a young(er), single, broke, queer parent by choice. I have found this forum to be a great place of support, both in my single days and now as a family. Welcome, and good luck!