baby shower issue « Back to Group Discussions

[withlittlelungs]

Step-MIL is throwing us a shower. Money is tight, and she told us "register for whatever you need, we will be sure you have what you need for the babies". 
We don't need that much (besides diapers), so our registry is very specific. A lot of it is available online only (not by choice, just by chance). Our shower is next weekend, and no one has purchased anything off of our registries. I'm worried we are going to get a lot of things that we don't need and then have to scramble to return (if we are lucky enough to get receipts) and buy what we still need. 
I don't want to sound ungrateful at all. I will appreciate whatever we get. I am just stressed out. I didn't push MIL to move the shower ahead when we found out it was twins because I felt bad. I was just hoping that the shower would be helpful and relieving, but now I feel like it is turning into a chore. 

I'm sorry for my bad attitude. I just have to let it out.

[Meggsy]

I think the same is going to happen to us - but I heard a few months back that people usually just get the cute clothes they think you'll want, so I have been planning all along that the bulk of the presents might not exactly be what we need or want. I know that doesn't help, and I actually feel for you. Twins seem so expensive!! But I do think a lot of people see the shower as a way of getting excited with you and buying what they think are cute clothes, rather than helping you out. Especially those who don't have kids. I am now feeling badly for all the things I did not get people and all the cutesy presents I have gotten off registry!

But, I highly recommend to just indulge in their joy for you while it is there, and enjoy it for what it is, and spend a few days returning stuff if that is what you need to do to pay for all the stuff you need and can't afford! Their good vibes will give you the umph to move ahead and do what you need to do before the babes are born.

[cabbitdancer]

I agree. Just enjoy the shower for what it is. Some people might get you stuff you need. Some might get you gift cards. Most will probably get you stuff that they think you need. It is also possible that some may have been able to find some of the stuff on your registry elsewhere and would like to surprise you. Showers are mostly a chance for others to get excited with you over your impending birth, anyway, so enjoy it, accept the gifts, and hope no one wasted too much money buying stuff you'll never (be able to) use. ;)

I was kinda bummed that no one has offered to throw me a shower and was considering throwing one for myself, but I am masochistic and would really love to have a shower-themed tea party. I am embarrassed by the thought, though, since most of what we need are big-ticket items, as this won't be our first baby and we're having another girl (and I just found out that a friend of a friend has a huge stash of prefolds that she's willing to pretty much just give away). If someone had offered, though, I would just take it for what it was, but I love parties. :D

[firespiritmelody]

Most of the big box stores will let you return a certain number of things without receipts as long as they sell that item, especially if you are registered there (like Target, for example) so you'll have to do a bit of research to see who sells what in your area but even without the receipt you should still be able to get some of it returned.

Also, in my family at least, it is VERY common for people to not do any shopping until the very last minute (even on the way to the event) so don't stress too much that no one has bought off it yet. I'm not expecting anyone to get anything off our registry either, but thankfully most of the big stores do a "completion coupon" where you can get a % off anything unpurchased from your registry after your shower.

[withlittlelungs]

Thank you for your feedback, ladies. I am definitely not going to stress about anything until after the shower. I am going to go and enjoy it and get even more excited about the babies coming 

Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised. If not, I will just make DH in charge of dealing with returns/exchanges 

[RainGardenMama]

That sounds like a great job for DH! And the advice offered by the ladies here is sound. I asked my sister to host the shower, it is important to me to celebrate this baby. I am pretty sure most of what I'd like will be purchased by me
I registered at amazon because of the "universal" registry option and now I am sort of thinking I should switch to BabiesRUs or target to give folks the option of shopping in store.

[SamSarah]

Another option for a registry, which I have really enjoyed:  babyli.st

This is a list that isn't connected to a particular store, but can be used to connect to anything with a web site.  It functions in the same way - with a reserve button. I like this because the reserve button doesn't rely on the person purchasing the item through the list.  This means people can purchase it through your provided link (to ANY online site), but also go pick it up somewhere in person.  I also like it because you can link to things that aren't things - I have a link to my massage therapist's website for a post natal massage, and to post natal drop in yoga classes.  

I don't work for them - really ;)

[cabbitdancer]

Babylist is pretty awesome. :D

[chocolatechip]

RainGardenMama, you could always just link items from BabiesRUs or Target to your Amazon registry, and then people could go into stores to buy them, if they wanted to. The registry does have an option for gift givers to "reserve" the item because they're buying it from elsewhere. We had some people do that with our wedding registry.

I'm going to go check out babylist though. 

ETA: babyli.st looks pretty awesome...

[RainGardenMama]

Thanks chocolatechip. I realized that I had already included several items from local stores. Silly me
Also my sister and I decided to leave the registry off the baby shower invite, I want the focus on celebration and not on "showering" baby stuff.

[Meggsy]

I remember from my wedding registry that my favourite gifts were off-registry so I am trying not to get too worked up about what we need. As one friend stated, all you really need are diapers, a place for the baby to sleep, a few blankets and boobs....everything else is added luxury! :) Maybe a bit idealistic, but pretty true!

[akind1]

IME: people don't buy off baby registries. 2 kids and probably 6 showers and really the registries turned out to be for us, to list out what we need. People buy what "they" think you need. Even knowing we did cloth, we still got disposables. Co sleeping - still got lots of crib sheets. We did get a few things off the registry.

Also, people might have looked at your registry and bought the item (or something similiar) elsewhere, for less. Enjoy it for what it is - a gathering to celebrate the babies - and you'll be able to return most things you don't need, or at least exchange for store credit.