or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Adoptive and Foster Parenting › Don't know what to do with 16 month old
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Don't know what to do with 16 month old - Page 5

post #81 of 99

(Before I forget... I meant to mention a very important thing. Grain products can be healthy, but if you don't prepare them properly, they take minerals away from your body because of pythic acid... like calcium, iron, zinc... that's probably part of why I got so sick).

 

A lot of icky details in this post, you might not want to read if you're eating :P

 

 

Summary of this post:

I don't think you can say I have an allergy to anything, because I could eat those foods without problems when I lived back home and foods were prepared traditionally, and I don't have any side effects to those foods now that I prepare them traditionally again. I only react to those foods if they're poorly prepared (modern food).

 

Do I have an allergy to wheat if I can eat traditionally prepared wheat without any side effects, but can't if it's not properly prepared?

So what's the point of testing?

 

 

I never got tested for allergies, I was too sick so I couldn't work. Without insurance, I couldn't see a specialist. Glad I didn't, it would have been a waste of money and gas to drive there.

 

My husband got tested when he was young, and like your son he was "allergic to everything". Though just one little problem... he isn't! He can eat everything he's "allergic" to. The difference is that it needs to be prepared traditionally.

He used to have a cold all year long (nearly everyday since he was young) and always had some sort of stomach bug, plus acne all over his body. Now he doesn't.

 

We're on a tight income so we're not going to get tested to see if the "allergies" are gone. I don't see the point in testing anyway  :-) Unless it's something that makes me stop breathing and I die... and in that case I wouldn't need the test to tell me that! ;-)

 

We generally just eat meat (and fish, eggs) and vegetables (and fruits), plus broth and fat for cooking, because that way it's so much easier to shop and cook.  And we do great eating like that. Sometimes we eat grains, milk, and nuts, if we feel like it.

 

If he eats a little ice cream or milk from the store, he's coughing up a lot of green mucus all day long and is always sniffling. But he can eat raw milk or raw ice cream when I make it, and it doesn't cause that problem.

So does that mean he's allergic to milk? Or... not?

 

You read about how I grew up. I ate all sorts of food, but it was prepared by traditional methods. I was not allergic to any food.

Then I moved away and started eating modern foods. And I started reacting to a lot of foods, even vegetables, fruits, seeds and nuts. Regardless of what allergy tests would say, I believe I'm not allergic to any foods. If I were, wouldn't I react to those foods when I lived back home, and wouldn't I still react to those foods now that I eat traditionally-prepared foods again?

 

I can eat nuts if I soak them in water the night before... but they cause bloating, joint pain, and diarrhea if I don't soak them. Does that mean I'm allergic to them... or not?


I can eat a huge loaf of traditional bread without side effects, but I can't eat one slice of modern bread without bloating to 9 months pregnant, having crippling joint pain, or having my hands tremble like Parkinson's disease. Oh, and having diarrhea and farting a lot.

So... am I allergic to gluten... or not? Though I might test positive if I eat modern bread, I'd say I'm not allergic to gluten since I can eat traditionally prepared gluten/bread.

 

Note that I also can't eat modern corn bread. One square slice gives me the same side effects. But when I buy freshly ground flour, and soak it in yogurt or whey overnight before baking, I can eat the whole loaf without feeling side effects. The same is true for other grains.

 

I can eat wheat and other grain muffins, pancakes, waffles, cookies... but the flour needs to be freshly ground and I need to soak it at least overnight (this depends on the temperature in the kitchen, because my kitchen is generally very cold, I end up soaking at least one day). But I can't eat those foods if they're from the grocery store, restaurant...  and I can't eat them if I make them at home "the modern way" either. So it's nothing to do with being home-made, it has to be done the right way. I can eat those products if I buy them from a farmer or store if I know they prepare them traditionally.

 

I can eat these oatmeal and wheat cookies (I generally use regular sugar since I can't afford those fancy pants sugars) but I can't eat oatmeal cookies prepared "the modern way".

 

My husband loves blueberry muffins, so I sometimes make some for him. I soak the wheat and oatmeal flour in fresh lemon juice instead of whey. We slather each warm muffin with a stick of butter. So good!

 

Anyway, even before I started eating those foods, I noticed I needed to have a lot of broth everyday, and eat a lot of animal fat. Probably because I went many years without eating those. I need to eat a lot of fat cuts of beef or pork, and a lot of tallow or lard when I cook, or I start feeling tired and moody... and hungry. When I eat those I'm full for 8 hours, but when replace them with beans and grains, I'm hungry after two hours and end up eating a looooot of calories and still feel hungry...

My husband is the same...

post #82 of 99

Are you still seeing your GI doctor? We had a lot of problems with our daughter her entire life (she is our biological daughter). We thought it was a gluten issue as she tended to get better being gluten free but things did not always add up. She would be horrible get better etc. then last year on her 5th birthday she started a downward spiral again. Anyway long and short of it she has fructose malabsorption disorder. What happens is the fructose gets hung up in the lower intestine and rots. It was a simple helium breath test to discover she had it. Once we discovered what she had the diet was very simple. Most gluten products are high in fructose alone with fruits and veggies. She still can have fructose but we need to make sure she has enough protein. The protein molecule wraps around the fructose molecule and helps it make its way the intestine.

post #83 of 99
Thread Starter 

Yes, we have a follow-up with the GI next week and hopefully we'll have the test results back then. I'm going to ask about the fructose malabsorption test -- your daughter's symptoms sound an awful lot like STBAS's!

 

I am really hoping that there is nothing to show on them; his skin prick tests last fall showed he's allergic to NOTHING, at least not foods. He seemed to have some sort of environmental allergy/chronic cold over the fall and winter, but now that the rest of us are suffering with spring allergies, he's fine. So maybe it was his diet, or just him recovering from whatever virus he had when he first came to us.

 

If/when I do reintroduce things like beans and seeds and grains, I will definitely be soaking them! Thanks, Eloise, for all the information. It's so much to assimilate, but I'm trying! I'm hoping this last bout of stomach issues is just his sweet potato limit. I'll be preparing lots of meat today to keep for him during the week so I don't have to rely on beans so much for protein, and other veggies even though I love how easy the SPs are.

post #84 of 99
Thread Starter 

UPDATE:

 

His intestines are full of poo from beginning to end. Literally. So gross. But thankfully, there is no blockage or damage or anything else that the doctor would worry about.

 

No allergies, although they were not able to draw enough blood to do all the tests. The doctor said what they did do doesn't indicate a need for further testing, that everything seems normal and that just b/c he's not allergic to something doesn't mean it's not what's causing him problems. So  we'll continue to be low grain/grain free for a couple more weeks, get him cleaned out and back on track, then reintroduce foods and see how that works out for him.

 

Fingers crossed!

post #85 of 99

Wow, poor thing. Good luck! Thank Gd he found you.

post #86 of 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by swd12422 View Post

UPDATE:

 

His intestines are full of poo from beginning to end. Literally. So gross. But thankfully, there is no blockage or damage or anything else that the doctor would worry about.

 

No allergies, although they were not able to draw enough blood to do all the tests. The doctor said what they did do doesn't indicate a need for further testing, that everything seems normal and that just b/c he's not allergic to something doesn't mean it's not what's causing him problems. So  we'll continue to be low grain/grain free for a couple more weeks, get him cleaned out and back on track, then reintroduce foods and see how that works out for him.

 

Fingers crossed!

I've had my fingers crossed for you!

 

Remember that blood tests are only one kind of tool.  They only test for one kind of allergy & there are lots of other stuff (sensitivities, other Ig allergies, celiac, etc.) that can make a person not tolerate a food or "food."  I am glad to see though that this one doctor recognizes that a single negative test means that there are no problems. thumb.gif 

 

Might I suggest that you work on helping his gut heal some before intro'ing his problem foods?  IME, just eliminating stuff for a while is not enough.  IME, the more we reduce things, the less it takes to cause a reaction.  Of course, your little guy could be different, but in our house, if we do try things like gluten, corn, dairy after significant gut healing, we will only do so so we know what happens if there are accidental exposures.  But, that won't be for a long time because we are just that messed up & our path to gut healing has been derailed more than it's been on track. gloomy.gif

 

Best wishes to you both!

Sus

post #87 of 99
Thread Starter 
LOL! Yes, you may suggest away! I am not exactly sure how to go about healing his gut and knowing how to tell he's healed, so I was going to be posting for suggestions on that when we get to that point. He is still off dairy and most grains. I can't get him to drink broth but I do use it to cook... What else?

I am struggling with wanting him to be fine and able to eat everything, and hoping for an obvious problem that will justify putting all of us on a GFCF diet. It's all selfish of me, but ultimately all I really want is for him to be healthy. He is almost TWENTY months now and has come a long way from the OP about his sleep issues!

I can't tell you all how much your suggestions and support have helped. I really appreciate every reply on this thread, and every mama behind them.
post #88 of 99
Thread Starter 

ARGH. Why didn't I mention this in the update???

The preferred method of "cleaning him out" so to speak, is to use Milk of Magnesia.....

 

What I didn't realize when the doc told me to do this is that with the diarrhea he'll have/is now having, comes a horrific rash that burns his skin. In between the poops, he is just chronically leaking (sorry, I know that's gross) so he constantly has poop on his skin that is just killing him.

 

Someone PLEASE tell me there is a cream out there that will protect his little tushie through the dozens of poops/day!!! He was screaming so loud DH wanted to close the windows.

post #89 of 99

My daughter had the same problem due to a reversed colostomy.  We used 1/3 corn starch, 1/3 Target brand zinc oxide cream and 1/3 vaseline.  The stuff is nasty, but it works like magic in healing diaper rash caused by laxatives.

post #90 of 99
Thread Starter 

Thanks! I have been layering on the zinc and corn starch and only cleaning it off when he poops. That has been working so far. But I'm really surprised that we are on day 6 and he really hasn't been going as much as I thought he would. It's not much more (if at all) than "normal" for him. Weird. I was expecting an onslaught of poop!

post #91 of 99

We just did a does of MOM with Exlax (for an eight year old).  Yikes! That was intense....

post #92 of 99
Thread Starter 

Well, at least you know it's working! :)

 

We just had a, uh, productive evening. Maybe it's just taking longer to work for him for some reason. I called the doctor and he is also puzzled as to why we didn't get a massive outpouring right away. I just hope we can fix his gut. This is disgusting, and it's not much fun for him, either. I'm trying to keep my sense of humor about it, but at the same time, he is just so little to be having such problems.

post #93 of 99
Thread Starter 
Well, now he's 20 months, and needs his adenoids removed...
Anyone have any other great, fun, creative ways to torture this child?
We've done restricted diet, feeding schedule, blood work, laxatives, x-rays, burning diaper rash, and oh yeah my personal favorite that started it all, drug addiction. What else can we put him through before he turns 2?

We have a follow up with the GI doc on Wednesday. I'm praying he won't have any more invasive things to do to him.

Meantime, any ideas of what to expect with the surgery?
post #94 of 99

I'm so sorry, for both of you. hug2.gif

 

I don't know much of anything about the surgery he "needs."  Didn't they once take adenoids when thye took out tonsils?  I still have my tonsils so I believe I still have my adenoids.  Maybe google "alternatives to adenoid removal?" I'm wondering if this is a left over procedure?

 

I could be completely wrong so please realzie that.  It's obvious you are quiet worried about him & like you said, he's been through so much in his very, very short life.  Poor baby.  

 

Know anyone who could pump some breastmilk for him?  Just a thought as I was typing the previous line.  It'd have to be free of whatever he is off of though, or it'd be like giving him what he's off of.  Foodlab may be a place to find that, if you decide you want it.  There's also the informal milk sharing networks, but I'm not at all familiar w/ those.

 

On gut healing: I know of a few ways: GAPS, BED (Body Ecology Diet) - but I don't really buy this one because it's pretty grain heavy & it is very difficult & expensive, if it's possible, to find grains that aren't cross contaminated w/ other stuff like gluten & corn :-(.  There's also a candida cleansing program by a Dr. McComb that I have done almost no research on other than reading his website: http://www.candidaplan.com/new/the_plan/  There is another book I'm planning to get about pH (I know from personal exeprience that if I'm too acidic in certain places/ways, candida issues flare & my mouth gets more unhealthy) called The pH Miracle but I'm not sure I buy the premise.  I'll have to read the book.

 

None of this is easy & while you're trying to figure out helping him, life goes on.  It's tough.  Very tough.  I'm right there w/ you.  I'm pulling for you both. heartbeat.gif

 

Best wishes,

Sus

post #95 of 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama24-7 View Post

I'm so sorry, for both of you. hug2.gif

 

I don't know much of anything about the surgery he "needs."  

 

 

I just wanted to add that I think a more useful question for a child with multiple issues "Does the surgery need to be done now?  What are the benefits of the surgery?"

 

If this surgery could potentially solve some other problems and make your some more comfortable in the long run, sooner is better.  If not, maybe waiting is a better option.

post #96 of 99
Thread Starter 

I asked him that, and basically the answer is that the enlarged adenoids could be the reason he is having trouble sleeping, among other things (weird breathing, sinus congestion, drooling). He said they are huge and that the only other option is to try a saline spray (which he probably wouldn't tolerate), and that he's not impressed with the results he's seen. Basically, he feels it's not worth it to try b/c it doesn't work most of the time. Both he and the speech therapist who suggested I get them checked said that especially in a kid with neurological issues and basically "brain damage" from the in utero exposure, interrupted sleep can affect his neurological development and contribute to behavioral issues and learning issues later on. Which we've been told he is likely to have anyway.... So if we can get it done sooner, his brain has more time to develop more "normally"and possibly help him overcome some of his issues.

 

I'm just glad the procedure is quick, and he won't be under long.

 

The kicker is that we went to the GI for followup yesterday and HE wants to do an endoscopy. ARGH. That one, we're postponing. We talked more yesterday afternoon and he feels it's okay to wait and see if we can get his insides cleaned out first. We're going the Miralax route this time since the Milk of Magnesia didn't do anything for him.

post #97 of 99

OP I just wanted to reassure you that even though a lot of this is about nutrition and gut issues, I do think all of this is interwoven with your need to support him and help him feel attached and secure with you, even in the midst of these great physical challenges. The physical issues are to some extent getting in the way of the more 'normal' experience this little guy badly needs, so I think you are appropriate in Adoptive/Foster parenting. Feel free to cross post in other areas as well though!
 

post #98 of 99
Thread Starter 

Thanks, Lauren. I have been constantly thinking about how this all started with how to approach his nighttime issues and how that affects attachment and bonding, but the whole thing has snowballed. I did post a few things in other more topic-specific forums, but his issues seem to all be associated with his in utero exposure/addiction, which seems more appropriate here.

 

I do appreciate everyone's input and support, and patience as this thread has meandered far away from its original question.... (Which, BTW, he has all but stopped waking up in the middle of the night!)

post #99 of 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by swd12422 View Post

 

I do appreciate everyone's input and support, and patience as this thread has meandered far away from its original question.... (Which, BTW, he has all but stopped waking up in the middle of the night!)

That is so wonderful to hear!! (the nighttime stuff)

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Adoptive and Foster Parenting › Don't know what to do with 16 month old