Weekly Chat Thread - Jan. 20- 26th - Page 3 « Back to Group Discussions

[jodieanneanton]

I have finally caught up with reading but have no time to post!

I do, however, want to share this essay about mothering in the moment with all of you. So sweet and worth the read.  

[scruffy too]

DP and I had a good "conversation" about DSS yesterday afternoon.  I use quotations because conversing included a very tense phone conversation, followed by an email apology from him, followed by a graceful acceptance email by me (wasn't that graceful, but I had things to add), followed by a peaceful evening just enjoying our family before bed.  Thank you all for the advice and listening.  Spughy - very good point about the difference between animal abuse / torture and being mean to animals when frustrated, I've no doubt if I had "treasured" possessions he'd be after those (however, good call on your part, I do not!) 

I found it very thought provoking to read that Spughy thinks going back to bed once labour started changed the position of the baby.  That was my PLAN once labour started - no matter what time of day - just to try and go to bed and get the last bit of rest I possibly could.  Now I have to think about that.  It makes sense to stay upright...  I guess these things just can't be predicted.

[spughy]

Originally Posted by scruffy too 

I found it very thought provoking to read that Spughy thinks going back to bed once labour started changed the position of the baby.  That was my PLAN once labour started - no matter what time of day - just to try and go to bed and get the last bit of rest I possibly could.  Now I have to think about that.  It makes sense to stay upright...  I guess these things just can't be predicted.

Well, the thing was, I'm 5'0" with a very short torso (and I had a nearly 9 lb baby in there) and when I went back to bed I think I curled up during contractions.  That didn't leave DD a lot of options, positioning-wise and I think going posterior was probably more comfortable for her.  You - IIRC - are tall?  With an average torso length?  Probably not such a big deal.  I mean, that was the advice my midwives gave me and they're experienced enough that if it was bad advice for many women they wouldn't be giving it.   And rest IS important.  But I was super-fit with endurance to spare - if I had known then what I know now, I'd have stayed upright as long as I could.  Or at least not curled up in a ball.

[SlimP]

Oh Scruffy, I'm so insensitive! Sorry for giving you the horrors!
My lack of sleep was due to exclusive on-demand bf'ing DS who continued to want to feed every 2 hours until he was nearly 2. I was probably too dedicated to feeding him and could have prolonged my sleep by expressing so others could feed or extending times between feeds. I only went back to work part-time when he was 1 1/2 so I could nap with him until then.
When I decided I really needed more sleep, I slept apart from him and told him only water at night, which he quickly accepted. I don't expect this new baby to be such high-needs and I will be more pro-active and confident in striking a better balance. Many of my friends have bf babies who sleep well from an early age.......chances are, we both will have too

[Chapsie]

Originally Posted by spughy 

Well, the thing was, I'm 5'0" with a very short torso (and I had a nearly 9 lb baby in there) and when I went back to bed I think I curled up during contractions.  That didn't leave DD a lot of options, positioning-wise and I think going posterior was probably more comfortable for her.  You - IIRC - are tall?  With an average torso length?  Probably not such a big deal.  I mean, that was the advice my midwives gave me and they're experienced enough that if it was bad advice for many women they wouldn't be giving it.   And rest IS important.  But I was super-fit with endurance to spare - if I had known then what I know now, I'd have stayed upright as long as I could.  Or at least not curled up in a ball.

I'm 5#6 and have a pretty good size torso, but my babes were both big (9.5 lbs). Anyway, my son rotated posterior from anterior after I got an epidural and was laying in bed. My daughter was posterior when I woke up in labor and rotated anterior after a long hot shower with hot water spraying on my back... As soon as I stood up off my birth ball in the shower, she rotated. So, even though that is just anecdotal evidence, there may be some truth to the laying down/ posterior thing. I found that, for me, laying down made contractions much stronger anyway and was very uncomfortable. I had to stand and sway and move.

Scruffy, you just have to listen to your body and do what feels right to you at the time. If you feel tired, rest (maybe not laying down but leaning against your DP?) and if you feel like you have to move then move! A laboring woman's intuition is important... You will know what to do.

[chocolatechip]

Originally Posted by spughy 

chocolatechip I'm sure we would get along wonderfully! I admit I did start watching Castle just for Nathan Fillion, but I kept watching it for all the other characters.  Some of the plots are silly but I do enjoy nearly all the characters.  Except maybe Martha, she kinda bugs me - and Alexis is a little TOO good (although, having a child who is shaping up to be rather like her... let's just say I'm not as dubious as I once was.)  I like the way everyone on the show grows and changes and I *really* like how they're handling Castle & Beckett's relationship - especially the recent episode with Castle's ex, I thought that was well done.  And I'm glad that it wasn't just me being sleep deprived that made this week's episode seem unduly convoluted!  BTW - one of my best IRL friends actually lives in Seattle - we see each other a couple times a year - and we originally met via my Nov 05 DDC here on MDC.    Next time I get down to Seattle we'll hook up and go for coffee, k?

Yes, let's! That would be really fun! I also started in on Castle because of Nathan Fillion, though I don't think I would have *continued* watching it if I didn't like the show. At some point my husband started watching it with me, and it's now the one show we watch every week together. Fortunately, he allows me my Nathan Fillion crush without any issues.  I've never been a huge TV/movie watcher, but my small DVD collection almost entirely consists of things that either Joss Whedon took part in or Nathan Fillion was in. Including two sets of Firefly (of which neither were in my possession for years, because I kept loaning them out) *and* two copies of Serenity (regular and special editions).  And just to further dig myself into a hole of geekiness, I have knitted two Jayne hats, crocheted a River vest, and gotten groups of friends to dress up as Firefly characters twice. This is an area in which I am definitely geekier than my husband who is geeky enough to work in the game industry... //nerdconfession

Ah, I get the importance of a lot of the midwife stuff you listed. We seem to have at least a somewhat different process - with the various tests (vit K, eye ointment, antibiotics if GBS positive, etc.), they send us info and consent sheets ahead of time, which we sign and send back (all digital). So it's kind of like a birth plan, only I don't have to think about more than one question at a time. Heh. And of course they want us to be making the decisions, but I guess they figure some things will just arise in the moment. But they also said they'd be happy to review our Plan B and C birth plans, in case of hospital transfer, which I really appreciate! It sounds like you have good hospitals where you are, and I'm glad that in Seattle they apparently expect birth plans and do their best to accommodate the requests. Makes me feel better about how things I'll go if I do end up at the hospital.

[chocolatechip]

scruffy, I'm so glad you had a good conversation with your partner about everything. I feel like those conversations are never easy, but once you get through to the other side, things usually feel better. And sometimes the resulting changes are small, but small steps can make a difference!

[jodieanneanton]

Re: Sleeping during labor.... My plan for sleep if labor is slow to start was sitting with legs wide open on a birth ball and resting with my belly hanging and my head on the bed.  The reason sleeping on your back would *possibly* encourage a baby to turn posterior is because (according to my midwife with DD2) the back of the baby is the heaviest part of the baby... So, the back would fall with gravity toward the ground.  If you are on your back, the baby's back will fall to the back, making for a posterior position.

All this being said, I am a bit nervous about a posterior baby b/c the difference bw dd1 and dd2's positioning seemed to make a HUGE difference in labor, though there were some other variables that made DD1's more challenging (like she was my first, I allowed my water to be broken, etc.).

[scruffy too]

Spughy - I'm 5'5" (average height for a woman in Canada - as I remind DP whenever he says I'm short.)  I'm sure I'll just listen to my body, and try not to curl up.  I've just heard lots of women say they wish they had rested earlier on in their labours instead of doing other things.

SlimP - you're not insensitive AT ALL.  I've heard your story by a lot of well meaning people.  It's something I've worried about long before getting pregnant.  I just happen to love my sleep.

C.Chip - I have a good friend that nicknamed me "Little Steps" because when we were hiking one day, it was really steep and I was having a really hard time, and he said "Just take little steps."  And then I mumbled "little steps" over and over again.  Of topic, but I wanted to say that you're right - small steps can make a big difference!!!

[Melany]

Hello! 

C. Chip: There are good and less good hospitals in Seattle. You might want to talk to your MW about transfer options just because you have so many (I am SO missing Seattle, here). The hospitals that end up with the high risk births tend to also be intervention happy for the less risky births. Swedish First Hill is a great place to be if you are in severe medical need, but not a great place to have a natural, low-intervention hospital birth.

AFM: Speaking of Seattle, I was over for work yesterday and the drive did my back in. We had a company meeting and I sat in the uncomfy chairs for 2.5 hours and literally watched my hands swell up. When I did finally get home, I took a long epsom bath to try to help the swelling and it did go down. However, I couldn't get out of the tub. My poor husband was sleeping and couldn't hear me yelling for him. I am having some significant ligament pain, which was the case during the end of my last pregnancy. If I try to sit up for lying down, I cannot do it at all. The MW has to pull me up after they feel for baby position. So, getting out of the tub was a monumental feat. It took me 30 minutes to get myself up and out. I did finally manage to roll onto my side and then my hands and knees to push myself up, but wow. We might need a baby monitor just in case I want to take another bath because Pete can tune out the world. I'm lucky he wakes up for a screaming child, but he hasn't had to wake up for me, so he just didn't hear it.

[SlimP]

Some good news for me today, as baby was head-down for my midwife appt
Seems like all my inversions and stern conversations with baby this week did the trick. I know it's by no means a stable lie yet but I'm happy he can at least assume a different position. He is still posterior but we'll worry about that later.
For now, I'm looking forward to laying out on the couch tonight instead of on the slant board or on my hands and carpet-burned knees, yay.

[scruffy too]

Melany - that's a bit scary about the bath!  I'm glad you got out okay.  Did the epsom salts help with the swelling?

ATM - DP was in a head on collision last night.  Everyone involved is okay.  Everyone will be sore for the next few weeks I'm sure, but no "serious" injuries.  I'm really glad no one was really hurt and that he didn't have DSS in the truck with him (he lets him ride in the front despite my begging him not to because it literally makes me sick to my stomach knowing he's not big enough for the front and thinking of all the horrors that could happen in the event of a crash.) 

[Melany]

Originally Posted by scruffy too 

Melany - that's a bit scary about the bath!  I'm glad you got out okay.  Did the epsom salts help with the swelling?

ATM - DP was in a head on collision last night.  Everyone involved is okay.  Everyone will be sore for the next few weeks I'm sure, but no "serious" injuries.  I'm really glad no one was really hurt and that he didn't have DSS in the truck with him (he lets him ride in the front despite my begging him not to because it literally makes me sick to my stomach knowing he's not big enough for the front and thinking of all the horrors that could happen in the event of a crash.) 

The epsom salts has been working wonders on the swelling! I wish I had known about it last time. My MW suggested it. She also has me adding sea salt and tea tree oil as a precursor to the GBS test I get to give myself at my appointment near 35 weeks. Apparently, if the GBS is present, it is somewhat fragile (her words) and sea salt will help get rid of it. 

I'm so sorry to hear about the crash, how scary for DP and for you! Glad to hear everyone will be ok. 

[scruffy too]

I haven't heard about the sea salt baths before the GBS test.  Do you have any additional info on that?  My midwife has left it up to me whether or not I want to be tested and I *think* I have decided to go ahead with the test.  But obviously I'd really like it to be negative...

[Melany]

Originally Posted by scruffy too 

I haven't heard about the sea salt baths before the GBS test.  Do you have any additional info on that?  My midwife has left it up to me whether or not I want to be tested and I *think* I have decided to go ahead with the test.  But obviously I'd really like it to be negative...

She said that the sea salt is mildly anti-bacterial and that the actual GBS bacteria is fragile, so the salt will sometimes be enough to eliminate it if it is present on the skin. She suggested also adding tea tree oil to the bath for the same reason. And, to be honest, the tea tree oil makes the bathroom smell nice. She also assured me that the test would be done by me, not her. And that she prefers that I only swab where baby comes out, not the standard OB practice of swabbing further. She said baby doesn't come out that way (why can I not type the word??) and most adults have it present in their digestive track, but no where else. If it is present there, it doesn't mean it is present where baby exits and many women end up on the IV when it wasn't present in the birth canal.

I'm also taking Acidophilus, eating live culture yogurt and fermented vegetables (very yummy!). She even suggested a garlic regime at 34 weeks and told me you only really need to do that 1-2 times before the test. As you can tell, I asked her about preventative methods at my last appointment after my IV ordeal reminded me of the labor IV ordeals at the hospital during my previous births. I really want to avoid the IV. As she mentioned, I can refuse the IV, but it's more critical in the event of early membrane rupture or hospital transfer. If you refuse the test and end up at the hospital, you are treated as if you are positive. After being forced to stay longer at the hospital when I didn't get the IV prior to my son's birth, I'd like to avoid that.

[scruffy too]

I was thinking of doing the garlic regime anyway.  But it's nice to explore other options.  I'm not trying to dupe the test, and even if I test positive my MW said it's up to me whether or not I take antibiotics during labor.  This GBS thing has me very confused!  There's so much conflicting information on it.  It's not my MW that tests for it though, it's the doctor and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be okay with just testing where the baby will be - but I'll ask - to me it makes sense...

[Melany]

Originally Posted by scruffy too 

I was thinking of doing the garlic regime anyway.  But it's nice to explore other options.  I'm not trying to dupe the test, and even if I test positive my MW said it's up to me whether or not I take antibiotics during labor.  This GBS thing has me very confused!  There's so much conflicting information on it.  It's not my MW that tests for it though, it's the doctor and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be okay with just testing where the baby will be - but I'll ask - to me it makes sense...

I think you have a right to ask for a simpler test. Or, if they insist, a compromise of two separate swabs and two separate cultures. :) The good doctors will listen to your concerns and if you have a valid argument, which you do, they should let you, the patient, be active in the choices involving your care. 

And, as far as other options, soaking in a bath is one of the nicer ones. :)

[jodieanneanton]

Re: GBS... It's been on my mind a lot lately!  Maybe I will start a thread on it with all of my questions and concerns when I have a minute!~ :D

I am glad everyone seems to be doing well.  I am doing alright, I am trying to kick my nesting into gear by cleaning and it seems to be working.  Yesterday, I went to empty the fridge of spoiled food and ended up **needing** to take eveerything out and scrub it out!   And today, I am feeling like cleaning the bathroom (Who ever feels like that?!?!).  I hope I have time! (What?!?! Who am I? 

At the moment, I am baking a batch of white chocolate/cheesecake brownies to be followed by oreo brownies.  They are for my bible study peeps tonight and my sister's baby shower this weekend, but I wish I could share them with all of you!!!

[spughy]

Jodie I wish I could eat your white chocolate cheesecake brownies!!!!  I am having such a hard time coping with stress (issues with DH) without sugar.  It works so well, a nice pastry and a cup of coffee will always make me feel better.  But if I do indulge, it does make a difference in my fasting b.g. levels the next morning.  Which sucks.

Melany, that IS scary about the bathtub!!!  Yikes!  Definitely haul out the baby monitor.

SlimP - glad your baby is behaving!

Scruffy, I'm sorry about the accident.  Probably the last thing you need - but I'm glad everyone's ok.  Is the vehicle salvageable?

I am going to do the GBS test but I'm not sure what I'll do if it's positive.  I am almost certain that the intense IV antibiotics I got during labour with DD contributed significantly to my postpartum depression and weight gain - every time I've had antibiotics, I've had a subsequent significant weight gain and "blue period" within 6 months of taking them. (They weren't for GBS - I spiked a fever during delivery and freaked everyone out apparently.  I don't really remember.)  There is evidence from rodent studies to suggest that antibiotics can mess with gut flora to the point that it affects brain chemistry and metabolism and my own experiences do nothing to contradict that.  While I can't see that DD has suffered at all from the abx (she's never needed abx directly - but she has gotten them indirectly through me not just during labour but two horrible bouts of mastitis as well) - she's very healthy and has a seemingly normal metabolism - but I don't really want to tempt fate.  And I don't want to end up 30 lbs heavier at 6 months postpartum than I was right after the birth - which is what happened with DD.  BUT I do have a very close friend who wasn't tested for GBS before the birth of her first child, and he ended up in the NICU, very sick, for several weeks due to a GBS infection.  I think I'd rather take the abx hit myself rather than subject a wee babe to that - but I think I'd also try my damnedest to get rid of the GBS and ask to be retested after another week.  However, I also don't want to be messing around with the flora that's already there if there's no need - so for the time being I'm just going to leave everything alone down there.  I eat a lot of fermented stuff and signs currently point to pretty healthy internal flora, so I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed for the test to just be negative.

[scruffy too]

Jodie - high five on cleaning the fridge - we did that last weekend!  Wasn't too much food to be tossed, but the shelves look a lot better after a good scrubbing!  My vote on starting a GBS thread - do it!!!  I have so many questions.  I've been lurking in the Feb Due Date club reading their thread on it, but it's still leaves a lot of questions in my mind.

Spughy - the other driver's car is totaled.  Not sure yet about DP's truck.  I'm hoping it is.  It was *almost* a write off 2 years ago, and I think if something's been in two really bad accidents, it shouldn't be road worthy any more.  But in the Yukon, nothing is really "written off", you can still buy "write offs" that have been "fixed"...  So not sure what the insurance place will think.

Melany - I agree that a bath sounds nicer than popping garlic in my vajayjay!