Is your partner able to handle your emotions? « Back to Group Discussions

[coalifetime]

It is hard to get along sometimes isn't it?   Even with this being baby #3 for me, this whole tornado of pregnancy emotions has still spun through our home and left a bunch of *crap* everywhere!   We may be a little quicker to laugh about it afterwards, but it still can be hard when I don't feel like my feelings are being taken seriously.   

Let's share tips on how we try to handle the strong emotions of pregnancy..... so that we come out on top!

For me:   I will often warn that I am feeling crabby.   My hubby is quick to suggest a nap or a special break away from the situation.  I also will run to my room and lock the door.   If he did not know that the situation was that overwhelming to me *before* I go pounding off to our room, then he sure knows after I have left.  

[mizlizzy]

I just started doing the Hypnobabies CDs at night to relax, and that have been really wonderful so far. I hope to keep up using them for the rest of my pregnancy, I'm planning a VBAC.

Doing Yoga in the morning from a DVD if I get up early enough is helpful to for emotional balance so I am less prone to over react emotionally.

When I just need some me time, a hot bath with a magazine is my go too escape.

[heyitskalista]

Hmm...that's a good question.  For the most part, my hubby is good at diffusing the situation before I get upset...but when that doesn't happen, I tell him I need a few minutes and go do something for myself...usually a nice bath!

Also, I make sure to take time for myself everyday so I don't get too overwhelmed...knitting, cross stitching, reading a good book.  Just a few minutes here and there can really make a difference!
 

[rainbownurse]

I guess I'm lucky, my husband got used to dealing with my emotional-ness before. I had some mental health problems when I was younger and had really really bad PMS, and he learned then how to help me through my swings. 
I think it's important to be able to recognize when you're being irrational (its very hard to do) and to let your partner know when they're getting on your nerves. 

[InLove2009]

I have been lucky so far. I really have not had any bad pregnancy emotions. I have started crying randomly, and my husband is really good at just giving my a hug and let me cry out. If I get mad, I tell him I'm Grumpy and he just kind of watches what he says. Or he cleans.... that makes me happy then lol

[here we are]

Coalifetime did i inspire you to start this thread?LoL i was going to start it myself after you said it. Its so difficult for me to "separate"feelings, everything feels like its all blending together, what triggers an emotion is an emotion no matter the subject, and it seems it only makes sense to me, or not , but at least i can admit it. My partner is truly driving me mad, i think i need to be with someone else who understands me, like someone aware of psycology! That is normally my worst nightmare to be analyzed but right now i think it would be helpful. I also feel like i can "warn" him to just stop saying whatever hes saying thats bothering me but he doesnt always listen. Its like hes processing deep feelings of his own that are upsetting me, then i get upset and he gets angry or hurt that i reacted that way and it never gets worked out! Its hard to explain. I have been looking into how mens brains are different than womens and it all makes scary sense. Right now it is very bad with us. Sometimes i try to say something like, i want to talk about this, but not until later, almost giving myself some warning and time to prepare for intense emotions coming from him but usually he wont bring it up again. Then i will feel like he really doesnt care b/c he wont tell me when i am ready. Its a rollercoaster. Niether of us seem to handle the other, its bringing out my most patient side and my immature side. I too have been going off to my room and cursing under my breath how MEAN and STUPID he is! ! Its really really hard, i am hiding in the room.again now due to feeling like he ruined my appetite. I told him he was bothering me with what he was saying&he thinks i need to hear it anyway being so important to him. Tonight it was about him thinking our maintence worker wrecking our sink intentionally making it leak. It just makes me feel negative, like my home is being attacked,, but hes so convinced its true. I like finding solutions to things, as i read about womens brains do, huddling together. I am not sure if hes lost it or if he thinks hes doing some kind of protecter like thing? I give up! Why try to understand sometimes , i am going to get my food. But this is really bothering me. Anybody know the AniDifranco song, "Think I'll throw a bucket over my head, and a marshmellow in each ear..."

[coalifetime]

'here we are' yes you did inspire this thread!   It is a great discussion so far, and one that many of us might keep coming back to as the months go on.   I am sure no expert at how to handle my pregnant emotions and needs.   I also like to find ways to destress, regroup, and find my feet again.    I have my two children watching me this time around, and I will even narrate for them if I need to so that they know I am 'calming down' for a minute before we move on to the next activity (for instance.)   

[Ruheling]

Yes and no. Frankly, -I- can't always handle my emotions!

For the most part, I'm decently self-aware and can recognize when I'm starting to get cranky (which can definitely be connected to low blood sugar!). That said, we had some rough parts at the beginning where we were just reacting to each other and escalating a bit. And now...I'm a bit stressed out because we need to get the house on the market in the next 2 weeks and are facing a cross-country move in 6 weeks--and my husband hasn't gotten the formal offer letter yet. So...lots of communication, attempts at self-awareness, and plenty of (necessary) apologizing.

[g&a]

It actually drives me crazy when I'm mad about something and DH say, here, have a snack.  It's got to be a delicate ballance between helping and stepping back.

That said, Sometimes I just tell him, I'm mad and it has nothing to do with you.  Or I say can we talk about this later if I see that I'm getting overly emotional about something.  Communication sure is the key.

[InLove2009]

Originally Posted by g&a 

It actually drives me crazy when I'm mad about something and DH say, here, have a snack.  

LOL! My hubby always offers to make me a grilled cheese when I am grumpy.... They must think food solves everything 

[SunnyMuffin]

No. I am seriously wacko.  I get too nitpicky, anxious and controlling about everything. I stopped taking my zoloft when I got pregnant and was okay mood wise for about 2 months but then I had to go back on it, luckily I still had about half a bottle in my cupboard so I didnt have to wait to see the doctor.  I know its not the best but theres no way my marriage would last another 6 months of this

[rainbownurse]

My sister was on mood stabilizers when she was pregnant and tried to stop and ended up having to go back on them. Having been on medication for years for depression, it can be hard, you feel very stigmatized. People actually just told me to snap out of it. Seriously! (not my partner, thank goodness)The worst is when you can hear yourself and you know you're being irrational, but you just can't stop, and that horrible little dark beast inside you is feeding you all this negative emotion and negative feedback. Honestly, sometimes I picture myself holding a pillow over the little dark beast's head.