Weekly Chat ~ Jan 21 - Jan 27 - Page 3 « Back to Group Discussions

[kimble]

Originally Posted by timesway 

.. It was a really hard day xx

it sure sounds like it! take it easy and rest up!

[CoBabyMaker]

Oh gosh, Hugs and prayers to you Times.  I am sure you are exhausted!  Praying that everything will resolve quickly and baby will be super wiggly for you! 

The circ talk is an interesting one for sure.  I didn't really know much about it and hadn't given it much thought during my first pregnancy.  I made the mistake of asking whether people were planning to circ or not on another message board, not realizing that it was such a hotly debated topic.  Yikes!  We will not be circing.  In part for the pain arguments and what not and in part because DH is not circumcised.  His parents didn't have the money to pay for it when he was born and I'm pretty sure that was their whole reason.  He did say that he felt uncomfortable about it in the locker room in high school and didn't play football because of it but it's not something he feels the need to have done to his son either.  I guess he asked his dad if he could if he could have it done in high school and once his dad explained what they did he quickly changed his mind!  (I think that part is funny!  I guess I just don't understand the pressures of a locker room!)  Katie,  I'm not really sure there is a smooth way to transition into that conversation.  It just sort of has to be done. 

Well, I need to throw myself together real quick!  DH has a planning retreat for most of the weekend so I am on my own.  I'm going out for some quiet time first!

[Quinalla]

timesway, so glad to hear from you and that it sounds mostly positive I hope you feel better soon!

aHikaru, sleep is one thing I don't do well without, I was a complete zombie with DD for the first month (and only incrementally better until she was only waking 3 times a night consistently) as she was a rough sleeper, so I'm really not looking forward to that part, but yeah I can understand being impatient to see your baby for sure I think I channel any of those thoughts/feelings into planning and organizing and researching. But yeah, I really wanted this pregnancy to end with my maternity leave in the spring/summer so my Mom could come help for more of the beginning part as I knew I would need it and also so I could get outside more easily as that helps me to feel more like a human being

FarmerMomma, sorry that your technology ate your post, I hate when that happens! How fun to herd some cows with DS.

jr'smom, kids really are the best. I do know some providers allow substitutions, but I don't know how you would do it without coordinating it with your provider so that it was the right amount of "stuff", but I think you should ask if you typically avoid that kind of stuff.

adventuregirl, thanks for sharing your experience, I am hopeful that is how our talk will go. I do think it helps a lot to have doctors backing me up. I will just bring it up next time we are talking babies.

So, I finally remembered to wear my maternity support belt, that sounds so silly but I would never remember until I was already at work, and so far it is helping a bunch. It's gotten rid of that "my uterus is hanging out there" feeling, but it isn't so tight that it is bothering me. I think it might get too hot later on, but right now it's fine. I did end up getting the one from motherhood that has the strap that goes over the belly. And with it under my pants belly panel it doesn't show either, even under this tight shirt, so that's good! So I'm feeling much better today with that extra support, though I will probably take it off when I get home.

DH and I have been kicking around the idea of a board game night for awhile now, he finally started talking to folks this week and it ended up getting scheduled for tonight at our house. Looking forward to that as we tend to not do much socializing both being inverts, but I've been wanting to do a little bit more so I think this will work out. Not sure how it will go once the twins are here, only one of us will be able to participate then at best for awhile, but even if it goes on hold for awhile or dissolves, it will be fun to do until then!

[berrymama]

Originally Posted by timesway 

Also massive Thankyou's to you all for sending so much love and well wishes, I really appreciate it.. I can handle me being I'll, I'm used to that.. But the dr clearly thought that I had already lost the baby for some time (u could see the relief on her face when we finally found the portable scanner and a hb) and I'm certainly not able to cope with that.. Couldn't deal with losing him at this point .. So Thankyou .. It was a really hard day xx

Oh Times! As an RN in high risk OB, I am just so frustrated for you reading what has been happening with you. I think if you lived here, you would be admitted to the antepartum unit with continuous monitoring (24 weeks/500 grams is the cut-off here for resusitation and viability), but I know it is a completely different medical system where you are. Hugs to you.

About the GTT - With my last pregnancy, my midwife let me take home a monitor. I ate a high carb meal (waffles/syrup/fruit juice) and checked myself an hour later. It was normal. However, I went on to grow a 10.5 lb baby. So I am going to do a bit more thorough monitoring this time, just to be sure, even though I have been following a low sugar diet from the beginning of this pregnancy with the intent of hopefully growing a smaller baby (8.5 lbs would be great! my first was 8lb3oz). This time, I am going to take the monitor home and do fasting and 2 hour post meal check for several days just to make sure. Because while everything went fine last time (1 hr labor, accidentally unassisted, no tears), I am having lots of pelvic/low back pain already due to an old injury and carrying around that much baby got to be pretty miserable last time.

I am also dreading those sleepless nights. We have had two pretty bad sleepers so far, so are prepared for the worse. Our first didn't sleep more than 1.5 hrs during the night for the first 4 months of his life (and that was if he was sleeping on DHs chest), had colic and reflux. I don't know if we would know what to do with a baby that just eats and goes back to sleep without hours of screaming after each feeding :) It would be blissful.

[adventuregirl]

Times - so glad you are home and baby is ok. I hope you get some rest and relief now!

Becky - I think your DH's story is funny! Picturing the teenage boy, eyes popping out of his head when he realizes what they have to do to get that way! Hahaha...

Katie - game night sounds fun! We have family game night a lot now that dd is old enough to play things we actually want to play. Enjoy!

[MarieWalter]

Times, was so worried for you. I'm glad you are back home and feeling a little better. I hope your flare-up is short-lived and baby will be kicking up a storm soon. I'm sorry you had such a scare. Hang in there. xo

[jr'smom]

Timesway, glad you're home and I'll keep praying for you and baby.

Berrymama, I always pass my GTT but grow big babies too.  It's awesome you didn't have any trouble with delivery.  I wouldn't worry about it too much.  Some babies are just meant to be big.  I like that mine come out so strong that they can hold their head up right away.  And we've never had to worry about newborn clothes...mine always went right into 3 mos size.

I had my scan today and in the doc's words, "Everything looks excellent."  Baby is head up, but that's of no concern for now.  He estimates the weight at nearly a pound and says I measure 6 or 7 days ahead.  (I know I O'd early, but didn't tell the doc...I'd rather have the extra time in the end.)  The doctor wasn't surprised since my babies always come out big anyway. All in all it was an awesome appointment since the doctor made no negative comments or hints at pushing me toward a repeat c-section.  I am very pleased because he is really my ONLY choice of providers to support my vba4c and he is awesome!  Oh, and I'm having a boy!  (Which breaks our tie...2 boys and 2 girls as of now.)

[TwilightJoy]

Have to start with Times- big hugs!!! I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Sending strength and healing your way. Hope everything is back to normal soon.


I feel like I need to apologize to you ladies- I've been a "bad" due date sister to you- I want to read and respond to all of your lives, but I can't keep up on all of these posts! Fatigue isn't as bad as in the first tri, but after 10 hours at work, cooking supper, and minor cleaning, I am just wiped- no energy at all!

The last 2 nights I've had some bad round ligament pain. Last night was bad enough I was almost in tears as I lay on the couch with the heating pad. I'm such a wimp- labor is going to be hard on me.

Hugs to you all- you're in my thoughts even if I can't keep up on all of your posts. Please don't forget about me!

[nstewart]

Lots to catch up on here ladies!  Sorry if I don't catch everyone one!

Times ~ I'm so sorry for all the stress you have had to deal with due to your health issues.  Wishing you healing and good health for the remainder of your pregnancy, and a healthy baby at the end. 

Katie - The talk about circing with DH was pretty easy.  We had actually watched a documentary on it a few years before I became pregnant with DS and decided at that point we would never circ, even though DH is circ'd.  I think that if I had to raise it I would just be prepared with facts and information, and bring it up along with some other types of important decisions that need to be made in advance of L&D (ex. - if something happens during delivery and you and babies are both in distress, does DH stay with you, or go with the baby(ies)?)  If you bring it up as part of a few other issues it's not like it's so "out there", it's just one of many imporant decisions a couple needs to make together.  The babies in the tummy is so cute!  DS has been talking a lot about being a big brother.  The other day he was talking about how mommy had a baby in her tummy and said "I have a big brother in my tummy". lol.

I think TJ asked about the glucose screening stuff - I expected it to be WAY worse than it is.  It just tasted like melted orange freezie to me.  It was cold.  Where I live, you don't get to take it home with you.  I have to book an appointment for my test, drink the stuff when I get there, in front of them, and then wait an hour until the test is actually taken.  It's there way of making sure you don't cheat I guess. lol.

I am not feeling in a rush to meet this baby last night.  Partly, I am dreading the sleepless nights.  Actually, DH was better after about 3 weeks of age than he was at 6 months.  It's the first 3 or 4 weeks that were the hardest for me.  After that it wasn't so bad.  BFing was easy for me from the start, and once we started co-sleeping, I started sleeping.  But those frequent, long, early days night feedings are SO hard that I'm not looking forward to that part.  I also feel like DH and I have stuff to do before baby comes and I won't feel ready until all my "stuff" is done.  We need to finish the playroom, I need a new bed for DS, I need to sort and wash clothes and diapers, buy baby supplies, figure out a freezer stash, etc. etc.  Nope, I'm in no rush.  Plus, I am realizing how fast time goes by with little ones.  It blows me away that DS is going to be 3 soon, and that he is such a big boy now, I am in no hurry to see the days pass so quickly.  Some days, I just wish time would slow down...

Palm Springs has been great so far!  Last night when DH and I got to town we checked into our hotel and then walked down to the Village Fest, which is a street fair every Thursday night.  Sleeping in this morning was great, but neither of us could sleep past 8am despite big plans to sleep in late! Despite the rain, it isn't cold.  Went for AMAZING breakfast this morning (including the best fresh squeezed grapefruit juice I have ever had). Did some shoping today, which is sort of wasted on me at this point.  DH found some much needed new clothes, and I bought a few pjs and summer things for DS.  Clothes and shoes are so much less expensive here than in Canada for the same item/brand that we always try to stock up a bit on these trips.

[timesway]

thankyou so much *hugs all*

argh i forgot to sleep.. im so very tired.. its the whole being stuck in bed syndrome.. comes to night and theres no way to differenciate.. it is nearly 6am here and im still awake.. lots of stress with bf too not helping.. i understand hes having a hard time, but i had such a scare yesterday.. he didnt come to the hosp til i was being discharged, and then when he got there he dropped me home, went back home and didnt come back til 1am.. then stayed barely 24 hours.. leaving at 6pm after sleeping for most of it,.. he doesnt understand why im upset :( i get that life is hard for him.. and i get that hes not certain what he wants with the future and this baby.. but seriously.. everyone else has been going out of there way to be there for me.. and the one person i want/need.. just isnt here :( its making me so scared for the future, and for when it actually comes to delivering this baby.. hes said all along he'll be there.. but they thought i mite be in labour yest.. and he didnt come.. i jusst dont think i can rely on him.. im feeling very confused as to what to do.. and very sad and scared.. the problem i think is when bad things happen to me.. it upsets him.. and then it makes him want me to be understanding towards him.. but the thing has happened to me.. and i need him to stop and realise that and just be there for me.. for our baby.. :( so confused..

sorry im not keeping up very well with everyone my head is in spin zone which makes my reading really rubbish.. i try and skim it.. will do some more skim reading tommorrow, but i tend to miss stuff.. hope your all doing ok .. really greatful for the support of this community.. i like that your all so far away but we're all bound by the shared experience that is we will be (hopefully) giving brth to healthy happy babys in just a few months time.. can u believe that? its a lovely (allbeit daunting)  thought.. :)

[FarmerMomma]

Times, oh honey. My heart aches for you. I'm sending you so much love. I can really relate to having not so supportive boyfriends. This one and previous. My DS was in intensive care for 2 weeks and husband(short marriage not DS's father) said he just couldn't handle the hospital. I think he visited twice. He wanted me to go out with him and his kids who had colds. Umh my baby is hooked up to all these machines and I'm gonna risk bringing him a cold on top of whatever this is? Couldn't handle hospital? Well not like I wanted to just didn't feel like I had a choice.
I don't have much advice for you. It's tough. I've certainly had boyfriend troubles too. Build up other friendships. I've come out on the other side though (mostly) I've loved motherhood. Single most of the time. For a long time I considered having a second on my own. Motherhood has so changed my life. Now I remind myself that I wanted a baby with or without him. Now I mostly deal with resentfulness, like you get to call yourself daddy and you didn't have to make the sacrifices I made. Or now you get to call yourself daddy but may not even choose to live together so what sacrifices will you really be making? Yes it might be stressful how convenient you can avoid that stress. Plus baggage from the first. But really the sacrifices make us the home parent. And they can't take that away. I love motherhood and I love my son. I would do it all over again to get where DS and baby and I are now. And more love to you and baby and your whole situation.

[TwilightJoy]

I've read recently about the benefits of a strong amniotic sac and baby being born in the caul. I started a thread in I'm Pregnant, if you'd like to check it out! http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1373170/supplements-for-a-strong-amniotic-sac

[scary biscuits]

TwilightJoy - That sounds really interesting, I'll have to check out. My water broke last time and it would be good if I could avoid it this time:-)time

Phewf, I am just sitting down to a cuppa tea after my son's birthday party:-) It was lots of fun, but tiring. Luckily my sister came to stay for the week and help me and a friend stayed behind to clean up. It was a max and ruby theme (theme-ish anyway:-) And I made a ridiculous amount of food and fun was had by all :-) Here is the carrot cake I made (I made the cute boy too:-)

[PhilsBabyMama]

Originally Posted by TwilightJoy 

I've read recently about the benefits of a strong amniotic sac and baby being born in the caul. I started a thread in I'm Pregnant, if you'd like to check it out! http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1373170/supplements-for-a-strong-amniotic-sac

Maddox was born in the caul. It was really cool. I think it kind of cushioned him during the pushing. It took a few pushes with his head sliding back and forth before it came out, and then the rest of him squirted out immediately. He shot out like a torpedo, making a wake in the tub (water birth) and then the amniotic sac kind of fell apart as we reached for him. I've also read that getting enough protein can help strengthen the sac. I was getting at least 80 grams a day (70 being the minimum rec for pregnant women) so maybe there's something to that?

As far as the GD testing, I don't do it. I didn't with Maddox and won't be with this baby either. Here's a reprint of an interesting article by Henci Goer for those interested: http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/gdhgoer.html

Glad my husband and I are on the same page about circumcision this time around. When I was pregnant with Maddox, my husband was super supportive of everything I wanted, even though it seemed foreign to him. If he wasn't sure why I wanted to do something (like birth outside of a hospital setting, breastfeed, cloth diaper, etc.) he'd ask and we'd talk about it, but it was all up to me.

But with circumcision he put his foot down for some reason. He wanted it done, period, no discussion. He's never been stubborn like that before, and it was a little daunting, but as far as stubbornness goes, I win. I emailed him articles for months on the benefits of leaving babies intact. Apparently, that softened him up a bit and he was reading them, although he never told me. Then at one of my appointments, he asked my midwife what the medical benefits of circumcision were and she said "There are none." We'll that threw him a bit, but I guess he was still torn.

One day he came home from work and I was hysterical. I'd watched a video of a routine infant circumcision and it was the worst thing I've ever seen. I told him that if he wanted our baby to live through that, the least he could do was watch it. He declined, but said he'd been thinking a lot about it and decided if there wasn't a medical reason to do surgery then what was the point? Thank goodness, because I had already decided that I wouldn't let it happen come hell or high water and if that meant relationship issues for us then so be it.

Five years later, my husband has turned in to a staunch supporter of leaving boys intact, so this little guy I'm carrying will be left the way nature made him without any heated discussion.

Timesaway, hope things settle down for you soon! You and the little guy are in my thoughts.
Edited by PhilsBabyMama - 1/27/13 at 10:54am

[sweetlowmom]

uff, i haven't ever posted on the chat thread but i figure it's about time to do so!!

first off, timewsay i am so sorry you are going through such a hard time ... sending you all kinds of strong thoughts for your body mind soul and relationship! you are going through a ton of hard stuff right now and i wish bf was there to support you. big hugs.

i wanted to comment on the circ issue ... we don't know right now if babe is a boy or a girl as at my 20 week appt he/she would not reveal. i have another ultrasound in feb so maybe we'll find out then. anyway, aside from the obligatory i will be happy with any healthy baby, especially after two miscarriages, i had sort of wanted a boy, to revel in the craziness of DS having a brother. but. i don't want to deal with the circ issue again. DH is circed and it is very important to him, it is an important part of his culture. in fact he was circed at 12 years old in a big ceremony ... so he knows what the damn operation looks like! he watched his own and STILL supports it. maybe he supports it just because he had to go through that, though ... that said, i gave birth to DS in the US while DH was in Spain (long story), and since he really really wanted it, and my family all supported it too, i caved. since insurance paid for it if you do in the hospital, i went for it ... but i wouldn't let DS go alone. i figured that the least i could do if i was going to put him through such a traumatic surgery was be there with him. oh it was absolute hell, absolute hell. now it's over and done with but i still sometimes feel sick about it. my sister is a dr and has apparently seen some horrid foreskin infections and so was pro-circ, but still ... this time around, we are in spain and here it is not a routine procedure, so i don´t know how things will work out. i suppose we'll deal with it once babe is born ... maybe i'll be lucky to have a girl and not have to deal LOL!!! (of course, it would be great to have a girl for other reasons, too haha ... who knows what will happen ...). anyway i just wanted to chime in.

hope everyone has a good week!