Opinions much apreciated ;)

[Dana May]

Hello fellow Cali Mom's!! So my husband & I ended up in a debate earlier this evening about public schooling or home schooling our children. I am pro home schooling I would feel that the safety of my children are in my hands. I wouldn't deprive them of a social life or anything like that. In fact I encourage them to get out and make friends. However If I am home schooling them they wouldn't be affected of negative influences and distractions. Plus I would know they are safe. Am I being to overly protective? Now my husband feels that its life & the reasons we got into such trouble and were easily distracted as kids is because of our unfortunate child hoods. Which he has a good point. Having both parents in the home could be a better thing for some family's. As long as there is stability. But anyways his point was its all apart of growing up and teaching right from wrong. He says and I quote. "How we raise our children is how they will go through life" So do any other moms out there have an opinion on home schooling vs. public schooling? Would I be depriving my children of life lessons and just life it self if I chose to home school? Please let me know your thoughts.

[Monkeygrrl]

Quote:

Now my husband feels that its life & the reasons we got into such trouble and were easily distracted as kids is because of our unfortunate child hoods.

So were you both homeschooled? Or are you talking about just the neighborhoods you lived in and your home life?

I homeschool for many reasons - the recent drama with schools being only one piece of it. Altho I do believe that public schools are not safe places. Crime - gun relates, or pedophile related, or people being bullies - seems to be happening a lot. And my kids deserve a better education than that. Public schools in my area of CA are over-crowded. There are too many kids in the classroom, not enough teachers, and there is a push to get kids through each grade, instead of making sure each child really knows the material. There is a lot of time spent focusing on the STAR test, and teaching to that, instead of teaching actual history and brushing up on manners (that should be taught in the home, too), and making sure each child is learning. Some families use public school as a daycare - sending their children because they have not taught them the basics at home, so they are expecting the school to teach them right from wrong. 

Quote:

But anyways his point was its all apart of growing up and teaching right from wrong. He says and I quote. "How we raise our children is how they will go through life"

It's actually not the school's job to teach kids right from wrong. It's the parent's job. And that starts when they are little and going to toddler play groups. Many homeschool groups (at least in my area of CA) get together often - 1-2 times a week. And since not all parents parent the same, then there are issues between the kids - and those tend to get resolved quickly and in a manner that is respectful to the children. There is no - go to the principal - or - go to detention. It's an immediate - what is the issue, how do we solve it so the children can get back to playing. Kids don't get these lessons in public school. They get the lesson of - if I blink wrong then I get sent out.

I recently pulled my 15yo stepdaughter from high school, and am now homeschooling her. Why? Because she was being bullied by one of her teachers, and the school was doing nothing about it and the teacher refused to apologize. THIS is what he wants for your kids? This is how he wants them to learn right from wrong? This is all a part of growing up? I say no. Grown ups don't bully each other. Mature people have conversations that look at all sides, and come up with solutions that work for everyone as much as possible. And that's what I want for my kids - to learn how to be adults who can handle conflict in manner that is appropriate (as well as a host of other things I think they should learn). And I don't think public school is a good place to learn how to do that.

[Dana May]

My husband is saying how we raise our children. And how we teach them right from wrong will make them better kids then we were because we were not brought up in good family situations and did not have that discipline from both mother and father. I agree with you on all that goes on in public schools and that's why I'm wanting to home school. My husband wants nothing but the best for his children as do I. We both see things a lil different sometimes so I thought I'd network and get some idea's on the matter. In the end were both only wanting the best for our children.
 

[eireann]

I see both points. I get the "real world" life lessons, but I'd never send my kids to our local public school system bc it's a disaster. Growing up I experienced private and public in So Cal, and there is no competition on any level. I am considering HS for grades 7-9 after they get experience w peers at school, as those are very trying years.

[kindergirl77]

You really have to evaluate your goals and what you want for your children.  I don't homeschool because I want to keep my kids protected from outside influences, as you mentioned in your post.  

I do it to give my kids freedom to learn in a different way than what the schools offer and because I want my kids to be happy and find and develop their gifts.  

My kids have been homeschooled, then I sent them to public school, then I took them out because my kids were miserable and the options weren't that great.  But now that we have moved to a different area (Southern CA), we found an alternative school that is more progressive in their approach; individual learning plans, project based, gentle disciplining, and doesn't teach to the tests.  Right now I am homeschooling 1 girl and the other goes to the school I mentioned.  Both want to go next year.  (Sniff sniff)  The door to homeschool is always open for them if they have any issues in school, but my husband, like yours prefers they go to school. 

When my kids were little I didn't allow tv or plastic toys or sugar, and I protected them.  Now that my kids are a bit older (6 and 9) they want to feel powerful to make some of their own decisions and to learn from lots of different experiences.  I want them to be independent and my husband doesn't believe in sheltering them from the world.  Kids will eventually be exposed to outside influences if you don't keep them in a bubble, so its how the kids are prepared to deal with those influences, and how open you are with your kids and if feel they feel they can come to you with problems because there are bound to be problems.  I wish that I could protect my kids from unhappiness or problems, but its just not possible.  Problems help them grow and learn. That doesn't mean that I won't take them out of school if need be, but I don't want to be overly protective either because I knew how that felt with my own parents- and I rebelled.

I know a religious homeschool family that tried to protect their kids from all outside influences and when their kids were older, they rebelled because the world is attractive and kids naturally want to learn more about it.  Now the kids are all young adults "unsaved" and "not living right" and the parents wonder where they went wrong?