Doula Discussion! - anyone else hiring one? « Back to Group Discussions

[nattery]

So I've been in the process of interviewing doulas this week. It's been an interesting experience! I've never been in the interviewer capacity (well I have but not like this!) It feels really strange to be 'interviewing' doulas, especially since I am enjoying so many of them and can see how they would ALL be great at what they do but alas I am selecting only one.

I interviewed both professional certified doulas and training doulas. We are low income at the moment so cost is a factor but at the end of it all, I just wanted someone who can help make our natural home birth goal a reality, and support both my husband and myself through this process of being first time parents.

I think we finally made our choice today! Which makes me really happy but at the same time I'm  now fretting over how to word the "I'm sorry we're going with someone else" letter to the rest of the doulas.

After I confirm with her that she wants to be our doula and that she's still available (hopefully nothing changed since yesterday!) then I feel like I have the structure of my birth goals in place: location (in-laws house), midwife, doula, and support people. Feels really good! Especially since I am at the half way mark and can't believe we're half over! that went by FAST!

We went with a training doula, who despite only attending one official birth on paper has attended over half a dozen others family and friends. She also is really passionate about breastfeeding support and is studying child psychology and all of the physiological processes an infant goes through when it's born, and the important interactions that take place. Those two things were really important to me since I come from a home with no breastfeeding (none of the women in my family did it), and my family's births tended to be more on the medical side so I'm happy to have a doula with knowledge and passion for natural birth there. She also seems like a bit of a bulldog should I need to transfer to hospital (I have a lot of anxiety about my birth plan wishes not being respected). So overall I'm really happy !

anyone else hiring a doula? figured we could use this space to ask questions, compare notes, etc

[SweetMama34]

Well, yes and no. I'm having a doula present at my birth, but I'm not "hiring" her. She's my best friend, and I attended her birth last spring - so she's returning the favor. (I am a doula as well.)

Don't worry about sending that letter to decline other doula's services, but please DO send it! We're used to getting those letters, and any decent doula is truly wanting you to choose who YOU feel good with. I'm not disillusioned into thinking I'm the perfect doula for everyone, so it's no biggie to be 'turned down' by a potential client.

Congrats on finding someone you feel good about! It's a big deal.

I'm excited to have the extra set of supportive hands at my birth. She's also well versed in advocating for a natural birth (mine will be in a hospital) and all the things that go with it. The more calm, confident energy present - the better! At least IMO. :)

[Mama4life14]

My sister in law is actually a certified Doula. She just got her certification over a year ago, but she was still at the birth of my little boy who is 3 now. I literally could not have done it without her. She was so calm and she kept me so calm, she talked me through and she helped my husband understand what was going on. (Its her brother) my husband didn't say much. He was just overwhelmed the whole time. That's why I was so glad that she was there! She was so encouraging.

This time we really want her to be there again!! She's going to fly to Alberta when I'm about 2 weeks away from my due date (she lives in Ontario) because I went at 38 weeks with my last. I really hope she makes it for the birth!!

That's awesome OP that you found a doula you will be comfortable with. In my opinion, they are worth it!! Not only for the Moms support but for the Dads too! At least that's my experience with it.

[circle vortex]

I want to get one. I have a friend ( but not a close one) who is one. She charges $350. or I can get the free ones at the hospital( who may not be available). My husband wants the free one of course. I am trying for a vbac after 2  c-sections so I want to hire one.  I  guess I should start talking to her, and others.   Bottom line is I will have one.

[veggieviola]

I would like to hire one, as this is my first pregnancy, and we are having a midwife attended hospital birth.  Given that we will be in the hospital setting, I would feel better knowing I have someone by my side and advocating for me throughout labor and delivery.  

I haven't done the first thing to research or interview any though!  Better get on this!

[amlikam]

Originally Posted by nattery 

I think we finally made our choice today! Which makes me really happy but at the same time I'm  now fretting over how to word the "I'm sorry we're going with someone else" letter to the rest of the doulas.  I think any heartfelt message would be so nice. As a doula we don't hear back from the women who decide not to use us. It is nice when a family follows up just to let us know.

Feels really good! Especially since I am at the half way mark and can't believe we're half over! that went by FAST!  Seriously!!! wow... can you believe it?

We went with a training doula, who despite only attending one official birth on paper has attended over half a dozen others family and friends. I sometimes think new/in training doulas are sometimes a perfect fit for families because they are so refreshed and energized by the work. Their love and trust in the process can be so infectious! (though certainly not for every family). It is also nice to have a relationship with your team established so you can settle into the process!

Originally Posted by SweetMama34 

Well, yes and no. I'm having a doula present at my birth, but I'm not "hiring" her. She's my best friend, I have serveral close friends who are midwives. doulas, student midwives... but will have one of my dearest with me to support and help as a 3 midwife if needed. This weekend we meet for our first prenatal and I am so happy to help her on the way to being a full charge midwife!!! She will be more of a montrice, because aside from being a trained doula, student midwife (who worked as a midwives assistant both in Home births and at a birth center for over a 1yr) she is also an RN, so she has actual clinical knowledge and I feel fine blurring that line with her really.

Don't worry about sending that letter to decline other doula's services, but please DO send it! We're used to getting those letters, and any decent doula is truly wanting you to choose who YOU feel good with. I'm not disillusioned into thinking I'm the perfect doula for everyone, so it's no biggie to be 'turned down' by a potential client.  AGREED!!!!

I am happy I am having a doula at my birth and that is will be someone I know and trust deeply, since I really want it to be like family. She spends a lot of time at my house and sleeping over. She makes herself tea and grabs herself a snack so I don't have to worry about making her feel comfortable at home with us. :-D

I will probably give her a really nice gift, she doesn't often want to take $$ from me, so I will have to be creative in how we exchange for her support (though I know she sees it as a chance to do her birth work since she took a bit of time off to do RN stuff so she can save up for school.)

[veggieviola]

We interviewed doulas last week.  Met with two whom we really like, are very experienced and well-recommended.  Both have excellent working relationships with our midwives.  Personality wise, they are on opposite ends of the spectrum:  one is more of an extrovert, outspoken,etc.  The other is definitely a more introverted, calming presence.  As I am more of an introvert myself, I find myself drawn to the idea of the more extroverted doula.  I feel like when things get intense she might give me the boost I need (though I'm not at all looking for a "cheerleader"), or that she would be more ready to help us speak up and advocate if things got hairy at the hospital.  My husband is much more drawn to the more calm quiet presence, and I also feel like for the most part I would appreciate her calming nature.  

I feel quite torn.  I think that either woman would be a fantastic addition.  The quiet presence is very appealing to me for the most part, but a small part of me feels like I might need something more.  

I know it comes down to a gut feeling, and a good personality match...I just haven't found the "right" answer for myself yet.  Meanwhile, one is very likely to be booked up quickly if we don't make a decision fast!

[LorienIslay]

We interviewed doulas a few weeks ago :) I met both these doulas at a local mama event and they are each others' backup LOL! So really we loved both of them but decided on one after all. I'll be totally happy with either.