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Fabulous Forty Somethings TTC! - Page 6

post #101 of 595
Just wanted to pop in here to ask if anyone has found a thread for us mamas who are over 40 after we've conceived. I'd love to join.

Congrats chichismama and caritasrainbow on your bfps! For some reason, I don't get updates to this thread sent to me. We found out in late March that we're pregnant. I'll be a little more than 42 when our second is born. We had our 20-week ultrasound several weeks ago, and they said everything looked great. It's reassuring, even if they can't know with absolute certainty.
post #102 of 595

Just a suggestion for those of you who want a thread for over 40s after you've conceived.  Why not start one?  Go to the pregnancy forum, start a thread, let the other mamas on here know, and you may also attract some other mamas. 

post #103 of 595

Awww, Saoirse, you are so sweet! It's nice to be missed. You brought a smile to my heart. I've missed you, too! How old is your sweet baby now?


MamadeRumi, I loved your post. Yes, we are in not exactly the same profession, but very close! I'll PM you.


I'm just back from an IVF journey. We found a doctor who could deal with my immunological issues and was't afraid of my age (45) and in fact had had plenty of successes with women my age. Unfortunately, I was not one of them. I went in with a decent FSH and excellent AMH reading, more than enough follicles, and had a very good response to the drugs. We transferred two beautiful grade A embryos (1 blastocyst, 1 morula), and I think I was briefly pregnant (positive tests, sick as a dog) but yesterday had a very low beta. We will repeat in a few days just in case, but it's not looking good.


Sad. Not sure what the way forward is. I'm super lucky to have one beautiful child already, but my soul needs to share the full arc of that experience with the true love of my life, too (DD is from a prior marriage).


But... it makes me SO happy to see the recent BFPs. Congrats to you, mamas!



Edited by LitMama - 8/8/13 at 2:43pm
post #104 of 595
Thread Starter 

Hi  Litmama, it is so nice to hear from you. I am so sorry that the IVF didn't work this time. Will you try again? I hope you will have a little one with your partner, you deserve it after all your heartache.


Congratulations to all the bfp's.


I have stayed away from the thread because I am still struggling to accept that I won't have another baby. I haven't stopped ttc (but just got AF again yesterday), but as I near my 47th birthday I realize how ridiculous it is to hope for a baby. I know miracles happen all the time, but I wonder if I had my miracle already when DS was born (I was close to 42). Since then I have had three miscarriages. And now it has been well over a year since the last one.


Perhaps someone else should start a new 40+ ttc thread as I don't come here very often to update the stats.


Good luck to everyone still trying and hope those who have conceived have sticky babies. hearts.gif

post #105 of 595

Haven't been on in a long time and really need to read through some of the posts from the past while to see who is still around and who is new, but I am so nervous and need to post this somewhere.


I had planned to drop back on once I got my first PPAF but things got busy. It finally arrived at 10 1/2 months, despite Xander's constant breastfeedng. My first few cycles were shorter LP than normal, and I wasn't expecting much...well Xander just turned 14 months and I find myself 6 1/2 weeks pregnant. I am scheduled for an U/S on August 21...I am not expecting good news though, looking at M/C rates at my age (46) coupled with my history of M/C (including 2 missed M/C only discovered at 11 week U/S), I know the odds are against us...and I have had one hcg B/W (yesterday) and although it fits into the broad range of "normal" it seems low compared to most numbers I see others post...I hate this feeling of limbo. If by some chance this does work out hopefully it can give some hope to others here!


gumblossom - I am so sorry. I truly hope you are blessed with a miracle...and if it doesn't happen for you that you are able to make peace with that unfulfilled longing and focus on all the good that you do have.


litmama- I hope your beta is just starting low and continues to rise. If nothing else it is very encouraging that your hormone levels are good, and that you responded well to the meds. Can you continue to try on your own with immunological support? Are you able to try IVF again? It is such an intensive thing, I can only imagine the emotional roller coaster ride involved in IVF. Wishing you luck!


Caritasrainbow and Chichimamma- Congratulations!!


Here is a recent photo of our miracle:



post #106 of 595
Hi everyone! I'm new to this, just trying to get pregnant for the first time. I'm 37 and have been using the o tests. Now waiting for my hpt to give me bfp. I had one yesterday morning and then none since I think it was a false possitive. Does anyone know if that happens often? I still have 9 days until af is suppose to arrive. Feeling bummed after getting my hopes up that I was prego! greensad.gif
post #107 of 595

Hi jlynn,

First of all, you may want to try a different group as this one is specifically for women over 40 (and the special concerns they may have in TTC)...you still have a few years before that. That being said I am more than happy to reply to your post.


Your details are a bit confusing...you say that you still have 9 days before AF is expected...that would be too early for a +hpt, however I have no idea how you are determining where in your cycle you are. You mention using OPK, how many days ago was your positive? Are you charting temps,your cervical mucous, or anything else to help determine when you O'd? Do you know how long your LP usually is or are you just using usual cycle length to determine when you think AF is due.

False positives are very rare, some people do occasionally see an evap line after time interval on some tests. Are you using pink or blue dye (blue dye +/- tests are well known for bad evap lines for some people). Sorry for all the questions!

post #108 of 595
Hi Halifax,
Thanks for the response! Sorry I got I the wrong group. smile.gif I'll will have to look for one for my age range.
So I'm super new to all this pregnancy stuff. To try and answer your question. I've been having 33 day cycles. I've been using opk's and I my last period was 7/17/13. I o'd on the 7/27 which was earlier than normal for me. I haven't been temping. I didn't really know much about LP. Just looked it up and realize most people's last only 10-16( I think?) I have so much to learn! Normally my cycle if it lasted 33 days would end on 8/18/13. I'm guessing since I o'd earlier maybe that day is different. Since today is 13 days after O. I got a positive yesterday morning and took it to my doctors office when I had an appt. The doc said it looked positive to her and not an evap line. It was a blue +\- EPT test. When she gave me a pee test it came up neg. I told her I wasn't due for my period until the 8/18 so she said to wait for a blood test which now I wish I would have done! She said maybe my pee was deluded since it was later in the day and so early on and to take a test this morning and see if it comes up positive. ( which it did not!) I'm thinking maybe it was evap line! I've never heard of anyone getting a false positive! It really looked positive. I don't know!
Thanks so much for taking the time to respond special since I'm in the wrong group! smile.gif
Ps... Your little one is so cute!!!
post #109 of 595

jlynn, sorry if this is info you already have, but if you are super new to ttc and to charting, you might try reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. I found it very helpful when I was ttc DS.  Good luck.

post #110 of 595
Thanks for the info. I haven't got that book yet. Awhile a go someone had told me about that book and I had forgotten about it. Thanks for reminding me. I will get it for sure! I can use all the help I can get! smile.gif Thanks
post #111 of 595

jlynn- Thanks, I know I am biased but he is a cutie!


I wondered if it would be the blue dye +/- I have seen many women on other forums "burned" by those and many TTC groups tell women not to use them as they just seem to be prone to second line too often when one isn't pregnant...now they do work well for some women, but I have seen errors a lot. I would stick with pink dye tests. Yes if you O'd earlier than normal then your cycle would be shorter and AF would be expected sooner..your LP tends to remain pretty constant. As well a positive OPK only indicates an LH surge, it doesn't confirm if or when O actually happened, so at least until you have charted for a bit it is helpful to monitor other signs such as temp and cervical mucous. Best of luck!.

post #112 of 595
I was trying to wai for access to my laptop to update as typing on my phone is difficult, but that seem to be taking quite a while so here it goes. The pneumonia my whole family got was caused by rampant mold in our rental. We were evacuated earlier this week. Not a huge deal as we are in the process of moving anyway. It does make moving more fun though.
With all of the lung checks I stupidly asked for hcg betas. Last Monday my level was 290 at 4w 3d lmp. Wednesday it was only 295 at 4w 5d. I have no bleeding or cramping or any other signs of impending mc. My pregnancy symptoms are not strong, but that's normal and for me varies from child to child. The only one bugging me is that I generally have an extreme aversion to most smells and it's not that bad this time. Although I realize that really means nothing. My dr decided to wait for Monday to take another beta, so we will see. I'm not out, but I'm in limbo. These levels were taken at my GP. A year ago they did routine bloodwork on my youngest son and called us 15 min later to have me rush him to the ER because they were certain, after testing twice, that he was dying. After extensive testing we learned that their tests were completely wrong. I'm thinking it would be too coincidental for them to mess up this royally again, but I guess anything is possible.
I don't know what to think at this point. I am praying and hoping and continuing to treat myself pregnant.
My numbers are far far beyond slowly rising. I am freaked out because I hav never had these issues. I e always gotten pregnant and had healthy pregnancies. Until this year. I don't feel old!
Anyway, don't count me out just yet. I wish I had not insisted on those level checks.
Hopefully it's a fluke and my bean is doing just fine.
post #113 of 595


goodvibes.gifSending good wishes your way!

post #114 of 595
Thanks! This being in limbo is so hard! I just don't know what's going on. Please excuse any typos, we have moved and I'm not sure when the Internet will be hooked up. Anyway, I have no bleeding or spotting or anything unusual, no cramping or even soreness whatsoever. I am having that if I don't eat now I will pass out feeling and have to get up at night at least twice to use the restroom. Last I spoke with the dr was Thursday evening. I have another beta draw scheduled for tomorrow.
I haven't discussed any of this with anyone. Not even Dh. This makes things difficult. At any rate, I'll keep y'all updated. Prayers and fingers crossed are all welcome. I really just don't know what to think. But I still have much hope and I'm trying to wish this bean into proper life.
post #115 of 595

OMgoodness, Halifax, you are an absolute fertility goddess! Congrats! You are giving me hope already. orngbiggrin.gif Plus, what a cutie you have there, oh my. That smile is contagious! Thank you for sharing.


Gumblossom, I'm thinking of you and hoping your process is bringing you some peace or at least pointing in that direction. I'm trying to figure out a way to be in a place of acceptance of where I am right now, without giving up on my dream, if that makes sense. So I think I understand at least partly where you are.


Congrats, Caritasrainbow!


Well, my betas continued to drop, so I'm now just waiting for the m/c. My progesterone was super high, so I think it will take a while for that to drop down low enough to bleed. We are definitely not done trying, and I imagine we'll probably try IVF again, too. In the meantime, we'll likely keep trying naturally with some form of immune support. There's a local reproductive immunology clinic we could go to for infusions, etc. (Beer Center) or we could take OTC meds (aspirin, claritin, pepcid) and supplements (fish oil, etc.) that help.


Does anyone know anything about non-celiac gluten sensitivity? I cut out gluten (and a bunch of other stuff) about 2 years ago in an effort to improve my fertility. I have no idea whether it made any difference or not, but I'm thinking of loosening the stranglehold of "The Regime" (DH's name for my restrictive fertility diet) and beginning to include some of the forbidden foods and drinks again, in an effort to lower my stress and fully inhabit my life again. I had a moment where I realized I have not eaten a bite of the birthday cakes I bake for my DD and DH for the past few years (my grandmother's recipes, passed down... I am the cultural torch-bearer), and it made me sad to be missing out on these rituals. So, I tried eating a little gluten for the past few days (whole grain spelt and wheat). And, I think I may be reacting to it... some fatigue and headache, stomach gurgling noises, a little bloating. But... I know I do not have celiac (I was tested). A friend with celiac tells me I have simply lost the ability to digest gluten during my time off it, and it will just take some adjustment. However, the celiac blogosphere seems to say that if you reintroduce gluten after a GF trial, and react to it, that means you were always gluten-sensitive and should avoid it. So now I'm worried that my immune system is mounting an attack against the gluten (and any future embryos). So... how do I KNOW whether I am gluten sensitive or not? Is there a reliable test? I don't want to jeopardize our chances but I also hate to continue to feel that my life is on hold if it doesn't need to be. Thanks for any wisdom... 

post #116 of 595

I am no expert on gluten-free and there seem to be lots of approaches/ideas about what is best, but my first thought when I read your post is, how about let yourself have the cake at those special celebrations, but do your very best to avoid it most other times?  I tend to believe that gluten is not really great for any of us, but that some of us are either more in tune to our reactions or are actually more sensitive but that we all would benefit from reducing or eliminating it if we really are striving for optimum health.  I try to avoid it mostly because it takes away from the space in my diet/meal for more nutritious foods.  For example, when my family eats pasta with meat sauce, I usually warm up some brown rice or lentils for myself and eat the meat sauce with it and don't feel like I'm missing out on the pasta.  But, if I had to miss my kid's birthday cake and really wished I could eat it, that would be more like missing out and perhaps that feeling affects your body chemistry maybe, just maybe, as much as the gluten.  

post #117 of 595
While the enthusiasm is much appreciated, I don't think congratulations are quite in order for me? As I wrote, my betas last week went from 290 to 295 in 48 hours. Nowhere close to normal. I had another draw today, so perhaps tomorrow will bring better news. I am praying for a miracle.
I am sorry for your impending loss. I'm not sure how women endure this. For myself, I don't know if I will try again if this doesn't work out. This limbo is the most difficult part. Not knowing. Hoping. Kicking myself for asking for a beta check in the first place.
I wish you all well mamas. Hopefully tomorrow will bring me spectacular news.
post #118 of 595

LitMama...   Can you tell more about Claritin and TTC? That is something that I never heard, and I have now developed seasonal allergies.


As for the Gluten thing, I went gluten-light (as I call it) a few years ago. For me that means that I will eat pizza, have the occasional birthday cake, and maybe have a burger (on the bun) if the urge strikes. But, anytime that I tried to go back to gluten on a daily basis, I feel bad, much the way you described. So, I try to just stay gluten-light. I would say that I probably have some form of gluten once or sometimes twice in a week, and that seems to work out okay.

post #119 of 595

Cariasrainbow, If only we could turn off our minds during the long waits of uncertainty!  I just did a little search online about beta levels and it looks to me that they can vary greatly and that although doubling is typical, it doesn't always happen.  I also read that the first ultrasound tells more in terms of accuracy about how the pregnancy is progressing than the hcg levels.   

goodvibes.gif I'm sending lots of positive thoughts your way!

post #120 of 595
Please forgive typos as I still have no Internet access other than phone. Also I want to apologize for my current state of self centeredness.
Yes, I knew that my levels last week were normal as far as the number, it was the fact that they only went up 5 miu in 48 hours that was concerning. I knew that it could take 72 hours to double, but only 5 pts was still not enough and was cause for concern. However, my dr just wanted to wait a few days and do the next beta Monday. So, at 4w 3d lmp I was 290. 4w 5d 295. And I got my latest in, (dr left a msg on voice mail I have replayed several times!) at 5w 3d my hcg level not only went up, it jumped to 19,097!!!!!!
I almost started crying right I the middle of Ikea! I know I'm not completely out of the woods yet, but I am feeling much better about the state of things.
Now on to the unpacking...
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