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Fabulous Forty Somethings TTC! - Page 11

post #201 of 595
So as I mentioned BFN 14dpo. Faint BFP 15dpo. Two brands. Even more faint BFP 16dpo FMU. This evening I tried again, same brand but different test. BFN. Maybe you could sort of barely imagine a line, but not really.
Must have been chemical? Why is it so easy for me to get pregnant, but I can keep it for less and less time? I had comvinced myself I didn't want another one. But I guess I was just lying to myself. Now I'm just confused. I will test again in the morning. I am now three days late. I'm never late.
post #202 of 595
My dates must be slightly off. Regardless, lines should be dark and getting darker. Lmp October 6, must have o'd around the 20th. That would have been the last time for bd and before that I think it'd been two weeks. So AF was due Sunday November 3rd. No AF and a BFN. Next day faint blue dye bfp. That evening faint FRER BFP. This morning faint FRER BFP. This evening I took a First Response but instead of 6 days sooner it's rapid result, 1 min instead of 3. BFN.
I'm confused and assuming it was a chemical.
post #203 of 595
Just learned First Response Rapid Result isn't as sensitive as FRER. Went and got more of those and got another faint BFP. Last few pregnancies have been MUCH darker by now.
I really thought I was over it and here I am pining away. Lol! It's like I just know there's one left for me to meet, no matter how much I try to deny it.
If this ends badly though... I just don't know...
I'll do another FMU and report back.
post #204 of 595
FMU FRER BFN. Must have been a chemical. So I can easily get pregnant, but can obviously not make/carry a baby anymore. Feeling devestated. This sucks. I barely slept all night. What a joke. What a cruel joke. Why bother letting that strip turn pink at all. Ugh!
post #205 of 595

Caritasrainbow - I feel your frustration!

This is this mornings test tweaked a bit so you can see the worlds faintest second line, prob evap:

 

I have gotten several faints on Wondfo test strips for last couple days but they only appear after the 10 minute window so I shouldn't even count them. But here I am too holding out hope but telling myself at 12 dpo it  must be chemical because I'm all crampy like I'm getting period and shouldn't it be much darker by now?

The only other pregnancy I can compare it to though, is my last one in May when I got a faint by 8 &  9dpo and a beauty at 14 dpo. But that was a blighted ovum and so I'm trying to tell myself this is different because maybe the other implanted too quickly. Oh the rationalizing we do...

I refuse to lose hope until the old Flo rolls on in though..so I'm keeping fingers crossed for you too. 

post #206 of 595

Brown cm this afternoon and another BFN.  Just waiting for AF now.  Maybe next month.  Taught me a lesson though.  I'd really thought I was fine with being done with it all.  I'm not  

post #207 of 595

AF came on in full swing yesterday afternoon.  Very heavy and with some nasty cramps.  It was weird knowing I was pregnant for a couple of days.  Enough time to get excited, although I knew from the start something wasn't right with the faintness of the first test.  at 17dpo the test should have glowed.  So yeah, first mc was a huge surprise to me after having had 5 kids so easily.  Thought it was a fluke.  Second mc was heartbreaking once again, but still didn't think...  I don't know.  This one, and not even 5 weeks yet...  I am fertile, I can still easily get pregnant, but just can't seem to make those little beans grow anymore.  

Kinda pissed now because after the last mc, AF was reset to a Sunday giving me all weekend the weekend of o, for bd.  Now it's reset to a Wednesday.  My husband travels Monday through Friday.  Even when he is home, we are way too beat to even think about bd during the week.  So chances of another chance seem slim.  Younger me coulda kept those swimmers alive from Sunday to Wednesday, but I'm guessing these days I likely only have a few hours window.

At any rate, what I did learn was that I was lying to myself saying I was done trying.  

Shall see....

Hope to hear some wonderful news from one of you soon.  

post #208 of 595

PS I never even told dh...

post #209 of 595
Thread Starter 

Caritasrainbow, I am so sorry. ((hugs)) I know what you are feeling. I too had 5 kids with no trouble conceiving. Even my last one, after DH had a vasectomy reversal, I did have to ttc for 7 months, but I now know that is nothing! And I was 41 at the time. Since then though I have had two missed miscarriages (baby died around 8-9 weeks), D&C's for each of them, felt so sad and desolate after the second one. Then I got another BFP, which was always faint, even at 15 DPO, and I lost that one too, only to have symptoms return a few days later, along with a clear BFP, which turned out to be the tail end of the miscarriage. I had a scan and although the doctor could see something in the uterus, it was just "remains", not a baby. So at around 6 and a half weeks I bled again.Like you, I hadn't told my DH, and I just quietly grieved and got on with life.

 

It is just such a difficult journey isn't it? I wonder if in some ways, though we are blessed with children, having fallen pregnant so easily in the past makes this ttc all the more difficult.

 

It is a long process - for me, anyway, I have gone from being desperate to get pregnant, to trying everything I possibly could (short of IVF and other ART), to pretending I am over it and not ttc anymore, to now where I am still trying, but coming to terms with the fact that it is highly unlikely I will have my precious last baby I felt would complete my family.

 

However, I do still feel open to a new baby, and I continue to BD when it is fertile time, as I am keeping the door open so that my spirit baby can come in if the time is right.

 

This month I am planning to do the antihistimine plan: taking claratine once a day and antacid (which is another type of antihistimine). I think it is called "Pepcid" in the US - it has famotidine in it - that's the key ingredient. It may help with implantation, if implantation failure is caused by rejection of the embryo (due to auto-immune issues. I have a raised ANA, which may be causing a problem, no one is sure). I think the protocol is used in clinics along with prednisone, but I don't want to take that. I feel it is worth a try and won't be harmful.

 

I will be turning 47 on Sunday. I wish I could celebrate my birthday, but each year, whilst I am still ttc, feels like a year further from having a baby. I know women my age do have babies, it isn't impossible, but it is probably in the realm of "miracle". But, hey, why shouldn't I get a miracle?

post #210 of 595
Thread Starter 

Thanks mumsafari. I bought it a couple of years ago, and sadly it didn't help me. It also didn't tell me anything new. Randine Lewis's book, The infertility Cure is a much better comprehensive guide.

post #211 of 595
Gumblossom- yup, that pretty much puts us in the same place. ~sigh~
post #212 of 595

Caritasrainbow - sorry for your loss :-( 

 

For me, I don't really know where I am at with all of this on a mental level. I think that our chances would be better if we just BD'ed more, ya know? But with my partner's ED the opportunities don't happen all that frequently (this is with ED meds, without there are NO opportunities)

There was a slim chance this month but I have the most raging case of PMS - I am beyond belief irritable.  This has happened to me monthly since hitting my 40's - not really ever a problem in my 20's and 30's.  I will bleed soon. I just want AF to arrive already.

post #213 of 595

LitMama and MamadeRumi -   Again ladies, thank you so much for advice and sharing your stories.  I have an appointment next week with my OB/GYN so we can get to the bottom of things.  Right now on CD 16  which is 1 dpo.  Considering my 24 day cycle, it just isn't going to work!  I'll take my data and list of tests and see what comes of it.   If labs are drawn, it will be immediate as they have full lab services in her office.  Will update after my appointment.

 

caritasrainbow - I was sorry to read you didn't keep the BFP... I had so much hope!  At least now you are sure about what you want and don't want to give up. 

 

BTW - I am loving the Ovacue.   It gave a 7-day advance indication of O-day.  I could track the trends of my increasing estrogen levels leading up to the LH surge, and could also confirm ovulation by following the rise of progesterone!  My CBFM gave me 3 bars (peak fertility) the morning that the Ovacue said I ovulated.  Considering we usually BD at night, I might have missed the window completely!  However, with a projected short LP I have low hopes for a good outcome this time around.  Darn it... I'm ready to get this show on the road!

post #214 of 595
Hello everyone,
I am new to this board. I will be 40 in June and I have been trying TTC for almost a year. I have a 3-year-old and he still nurses, though I have had regular periods since last November. I had strange brown discharge before my period fully began during my last two cycles. Both times I thought it might be implantation bleeding until I got lots of bright red. This month it started on day 20 of my cycle (my cycles have been 28ish days long) stopped for a couple of days, and then started again. Does anyone know why?

I know I am young for it, but I fear I may be approaching menopause. I've had hot flashes, but considering the weather here lately, they might not be hormone-induced! Still, I am terrified of early menopause because I still want another baby.

My husband is so good about accepting that whatever will be will be, but I get so sad every month. We have a happy little family and maybe I should just make peace with just having one, but every month we try just to see and every period I am depressed for a couple of days.

Thanks for listening. Every time one of you gets pregnant, it gives me hope.
post #215 of 595

Wow. I honestly never thought I'd find myself on this site again. My journey began in May of this year when I was shocked and elated to find out I was pregnant with my first child at 40. It wasn't planned -- I was on birth control pills. Somehow, I managed to defy all the odds of conception given this and my age, but I did. At eight weeks, I miscarried and had to have a D&C procedure. It was just about the most awful experience of my life.

 

After the miscarriage, I had pretty much resolved myself to motherhood not being in the cards for me. I felt like mother nature had sent me a message of sorts and that my window of fertility was finally closing. I wasn't happy about it, but I suppose I had to learn to accept it. I did everything I could to put it out of my mind and move on. Through both of my siblings having babies through the years, I have always been there...wearing my 'Super Aunt' hat with love and pride.

 

This month, my fiance and I decided to chart my cycle to determine my fertile window. It honestly was kind of a game. He dared me to entertain the idea that I could actually get pregnant again and I agreed to play along. Much to our surprise and astonishment, I tested positive on three different tests yesterday and today. We are overjoyed and truly stunned that it happened so quickly.

 

I pray that this time my pregnancy is successful and there are no complications. I want so badly to have a child and watching the years go by knowing my biological clock is probably teetering and sputtering is incredibly daunting. I'm doing my best to be calm and positive, but I also know that nothing is ever a guarantee.

 

I'm very happy to be here with all of you and hope we all become friends throughout this journey.

 

My best wishes to all my fellow 40 somethings who, like me, are determined to defy the odds.

 

little starlet 

post #216 of 595
Well I thought I'd post. I got a veeeeery faint bfp on a frer this afternoon. I'm on cd 25, probably 11 dpo. It's incredibly faint. A true squinter. After three mc's this year I am not ready to get excited. Wondering if I should even bother calling for betas yet. Maybe wait another week or so? At ant rate, I needed somewhere to say this. Thanks.
Just for a refresher, I have ds 5/93, dd 2/00, ds 8/02, ds 4/07, dd 2/11 and mc 5/13, mc 8/13, mc 11/13. No problems getting pregnant, just suddenly can't seem to keep one. I turned 42 in August.
post #217 of 595
Line is still there this morning. Also realized I'm counting the first day of my last mc as the first day of my last period. This may or may not be correct, which means my o day could be off making my dpo different. In other words, I may not be quite as far dpo as I was guessing. What lthis means to me is that if I am earlier dpo, then it may be quite normal that my lines are so faint. The control line was even a bit faint and I used FMU. But where I was thinking I was 11 dpo yesterday, I could really be just 10 dpo today, or less. I know I only bd'd on cycle day 14, counting cd 1 as first day of mc, so the dates can't be too far off, but even those couple of days difference could mean a lighter line due to a later o day.
How we over think these things in our desperation! And I continue to pretend it doesn't matter anyway! As if!
What does blow is that I had gotten back on a medication that is a no no for pg, so as of today I have to skip it, and that makes my life more difficult for sure.
Well anyway, here is where I am on this journey. Let's see where it takes me. I will wait until af is officially late before calling dr for betas as my progesterone has always been normal. I will def wait to see if I can make it to 12 weeks or so to say anything to anyone, but not sure about dh. I never even told him about my last mc.
Not ready to celebrate yet, but making those necessary lifestyle changes just in case. Please no congrats at this stage, just encouragement.
And can I please add---- Please please please let me keep this one!!! ;^). Three mc's this year has been such a heavy heartaching burden, please let me have my final child.
Peace.
post #218 of 595

I hope it's a sticky little bean caritasrainbow! Keep us posted.

post #219 of 595

I dropped by here the other day to read about other 40+ moms and their experiences with conception and IVF and suddenly I find myself in an unexpected place: I think I'm pregnant. I'm a few days late and we've definitely been trying but we didn't think it was going to happen. We had visited a fertility doc at the recommendation of my midwife. (Our son born last November was conceived on the first try.) The doc was planning to get me started with IVF, so we were sure we had a super slim chance of conceiving. They were expecting me to call to announce the arrival of my period and I had to call to tell them it never came. I thought I could just test at home and proceed with my midwife but they wanted to confirm the positive with a blood test. I'm excited and extremely nervous as I wait for results later today. I don't know what to think and I'm not feeling the symptoms I had with our son. If I am indeed pregnant and all goes well, we will be SO thrilled. I can't share this news with anyone because I have a younger sister trying to conceive her first via IVF right now and it's been a very tough road for her.

 

Hugs and warm wishes to all!

post #220 of 595
Just lurking. Caritas rainbow and gelato big congrats!!! Wonderful news to see. Keep us posted.
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