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Fabulous Forty Somethings TTC! - Page 15

post #281 of 596
Hello everyone,

Well, here I am with baby #3 in my arms. She is 5 weeks old tomorrow (born Nov 10). I am 43-- I will be 44 next week. A vbac homebirth-- it was very healing for me and a very easy and quick birth. Almost unassisted because I had no idea I was progressing as fast as I was. She is happy and healthy.

I thought I would immediately have the feeling that I was done right after she came, but this isn't the case. I am not sure what the future holds, but if I was to have one more I think that would be amazing. smile.gif

Gumblossom, for the first page, please edit to say "43 years old, Baby #3 born Nov 2013"

Good luck to everyone on this journey!
Edited by TenzinsMama - 12/14/13 at 9:25pm
post #282 of 596

gumblossom - please add me to the list for being pregnant.  Thanks!

 

I'm 40 and this is #1. 

 

This tired-but-insomnia combo is something else...

post #283 of 596
Congratulations TenzinsMama on the birth of beautiful baby #3!  I hope all is well and that you are enjoying your babymoon.
 
Welcome, Aymi.  I hope you have some clarification on this cycle very soon.
 
Glad to see those tests darkening nicely, Innacircle.  How are you feeling?
 
Good luck with your TWW, Arabelle.  I'm looking forward to seeing your BFPs!
 
How are things, Caritasrainbow?  I figure it's safest to use your full name so that I don't botch it :).
 
For Arabelle & Gumblossom: I turned 40 on Nov. 18, DH is 44, and we are currently TTC #7.  I have two boys from my first marriage, and four boys with DH, (two after vasectomy reversal).  My kids range in age from 13 yrs to 15 months. I've had six m/cs, all in the 1st trimester.  I had the first 3 m/cs interspersed amongst my first four DSs, then had 3 m/cs between DS4 & DS5.  We don't know the cause of these m/cs, but suspect it was chromosomal from errant sperm after the VR. Gumblossom - feel free to edit this as you want for the front page.
 
AFM: Finally got a decent BFP at 15 dpo, but started bleeding later that evening, so I'm back to waiting to O.  I'm pretty sure this is a chemical both because of the BFP and because the AF is super heavy.  I feel kinda week and lethargic too.  Sigh.. on to the next month, which is cycle #4 for us.  This past cycle was the first one with decent timing, so hopefully next month with be the winner if our timing is good.  I'm staying positive and praying for God's will to be done in this endeavor.
 
Does anyone have any fun plans this weekend?  We were hoping to go to a Christmas Market (big thing in Germany at this time of year), but DH is on call to greet soldiers returning from a deployment, so we're staying closer to home.  Lots of Christmas prep and craft projects to work on today, as well as church, and reorganizing one of my boy's rooms, so there's plenty to keep me busy.
 
Have a blessed Sunday!
post #284 of 596
Omg! I hope I haven't come across as anal with my name! I was just trying to explain. Y'all are welcome to call me whatever you like, I promise I shall always respond.
Soul-0- my chemical last month, third loss this year, was much like what you are experiencing now. I finally got a decent bfp on 15dpo, but it faded over the next couple of days and and four days after af was due she showed up heavier and more painful than usual. Also lasted about a week. 14 days after she showed I very randomly bd'd (on a Wednesday night, which NEVER happens) and here I sit typing just over 5 weeks pregnant.
Ultrasound a week from tomorrow. If all goes well I plan to tell the kids then, if not Christmas. Can't wait until 12 weeks. I'm sure the older two have guessed by now. Dh has not mentioned it since that brief encounter last Saturday when he guessed. I am anxious for the acknowledgement.
However, at dh's work party Friday night when a coworker asked how many children we have, he answered 7. We have 6 between us, (one his whom we never see, one mine who lives with us, and our four) and he generally only acknowledges 5. (Typically he needs reminded that he has another elsewhere, long story). When I said,"Honey, we don't have 7 kids!", he replied,"Maybe I'm just counting ahead." This and he has not said one word recognizing this pregnancy since he guessed last weekend. Not sure if he was covering up for an error, or really thinking about this lo.
post #285 of 596
Quote:
Originally Posted by caritasrainbow View Post

Omg! I hope I haven't come across as anal with my name! I was just trying to explain. Y'all are welcome to call me whatever you like, I promise I shall always respond.
Soul-0- my chemical last month, third loss this year, was much like what you are experiencing now. I finally got a decent bfp on 15dpo, but it faded over the next couple of days and and four days after af was due she showed up heavier and more painful than usual. Also lasted about a week. 14 days after she showed I very randomly bd'd (on a Wednesday night, which NEVER happens) and here I sit typing just over 5 weeks pregnant.
Ultrasound a week from tomorrow. If all goes well I plan to tell the kids then, if not Christmas. Can't wait until 12 weeks. I'm sure the older two have guessed by now. Dh has not mentioned it since that brief encounter last Saturday when he guessed. I am anxious for the acknowledgement.
However, at dh's work party Friday night when a coworker asked how many children we have, he answered 7. We have 6 between us, (one his whom we never see, one mine who lives with us, and our four) and he generally only acknowledges 5. (Typically he needs reminded that he has another elsewhere, long story). When I said,"Honey, we don't have 7 kids!", he replied,"Maybe I'm just counting ahead." This and he has not said one word recognizing this pregnancy since he guessed last weekend. Not sure if he was covering up for an error, or really thinking about this lo.


... never would've guessed Wednesday night lovin was so potent!!  :thumb

 

That's funny behavior on the part of your DH.  Maybe he's just being as tentative as you were at first - not ready to completely acknowledge until there's good evidence it's sticking.  After all, he probably hasn't had any pep talks ;)   

Or, maybe he was thinking you were being secretive (since he had to guess) and he's not sure why so he doesn't want to push it. 

Once you get that u/s and all is confirmed as right as rain (pun intended), I bet he'll warm right up to it.

post #286 of 596
Thread Starter 

Congratulations Tenzin'smama. champagne.gifYour birth sounded so beautiful! I know exactly what you mean about not feeling done. I had such a beautiful birth with my DS, I just wanted/want to do it all over again.

 

9 DPO this morning and a BFN:( I know it is early for testing, but I've got + this early before.

 

I think I may have to give up the fight. I am very tired of trying. I thought for sure I'd be pregnant by now. But my youngest is now five and I've been ttc a sibling for him since he was ten months old.I guess there does come a time when,despite regular periods, an indication of ovulation, seemingly fine in the hormone department, but the eggs are just not being fertilized, or if they are, they don't implant. I've never had as long a "dry" spell as this time : 20 months since my last bfp.

 

My DS was conceived at 41, after 7 months ttc, after a vasectomy reversal. Then I had to wait for fertility to return, and once it had, it took 6 months, then I miscarried, another 6 months, then a miscarriage, then 12 months, another miscarriage and nothing since.

 

I am not sure what to do. Whether to keep going or just stop all of it (charting,taking supplements, timing intercourse, modifying my diet, abstaining from alcohol etc,etc...), stop thinking about it and move on to the next phase of my life. I wish I felt ready for that, I thought I would once I had my last baby, but I didn't. I still really want to do it just one more time.

 

My Dh is not at all interested in ART. He's of the "I'm too old for this now, time to move on.." camp. However, if I fall pregnant I know he'll be accepting and fine with it after the initial shock (he believes the chances are so slim it won't happen).

 

I guess I'll get Christmas over with and see how I feel about everything. We have a stressful one ahead, I'm cooking for 15 :dizzy. All of my DH's family, sisters and their grown up kids, and teens (my DS is the youngest by far)will be coming to us as we think it is DH's father's last Christmas (Cancer). So that is pretty stressful, I guess if I was pregnant too that would bring in another element, an anxious one no doubt, so perhaps this just isn't the right time.

 

Sorry about the self-centred post. It is so lovely to see so many successes on this thread.

 

BTW, I have very,very tender breasts, which seems to happen month after month where it didn't before. Is this age related? Does anyone know why it happens, is it due to estrogen or progestrone? So confused!

post #287 of 596
Innacircle-
He definitely was not trying to protect my feelings as he is is simply not that sensitive nor thoughtful, and he does not want another child, sooooo... The latter am not worried about though because he did not want the last one and she is absolutely is favorite person in the planet!!!

Gumblossom- don't worry, you don't seem self centered, this is what we are here for. Listening to and being there for one another. I had just given up and was no longer even being serious about my vitamins and supplements when I got pregnant this month, so you never know what will happen. FX for you!!!
post #288 of 596
I hoping and praying that all have healthy results got upcoming tests. I'm currently 10 or 11 dpo, if I'm correct on my dates. I havnt gotten the frer yet,hopefully ill get to the store today. I used a $ store again, at about 2 am, cannot sleep, but fell asleep and looked at the test after the 10 mins. There is a hint of a pink line, like the first test, when the line was within the 10 mins. I don't feel like I can trust it though, although I would like to. I've wanted another child since ds was 18 months old, just havnt been in the right "place" to try. Dh and I sort of just were letting nature take its course, not abstaining and not trying and nothing happened, I think the timing was never just right and with my age,I may need even a little more help than timing. We are not ready to go full on with fertility help, but I'm thinking that I might just try a little more than timing bd. any suggestions on supplements for me? my age may take a little extra help to make timing a little more productive, if this cycle doesn't end up with a bfp, fingers are crossed though. It sounds like most get a bfp by 10 dpo, I didn't test with ds until I was 2 days late and it was very positive then. I don't know when a positive would be likely before af, sorry , I'm rambling. I need more sleep. Not sleeping at night really stinks. So Ill probably use a frer in the am.

I'm so happy for all the happy double lines : ) and I know there will be many more to follow. ( fingers crossed that I might be one)
post #289 of 596
Hey everyone...just checking in to say hello. 4dpo and not much to report. I'm so tired and weepy all the time... It just feels like compounded grief and exhaustion after consecutive losses. It has been suggested by more than one person that I take a break from trying and let my body and spirit rest a little, but that's so hard for me...I don't feel like I can relax and rest while "waiting"-- I think I would be stressing about the possibility that the cycle I sit out could be the healthy egg. So I'm doing my best to rest and find balance between grief and hope... Fortunately DH is a huge advocate of me taking it easy and doing things that nurture me- we've been going to yoga 3 or 4 times a week together and he comes to as many of my classes as he can now that I'm teaching again to be supportive.
I had to smile about the Wednesday sex comment....we're clearly newlyweds still... I'm so afraid this process will ruin that. DH says it won't and that we're fine, but I worry about what happens long term when sex becomes associated with a stressful process...
As part of my "recovery" I took up knitting...with a vengeance...I read on a cookie-cutter website about recovering from miscarriage that you should take up a new hobby. I've taken it to an obsessive level and it has developed into a weekly knitting in our pajamas club at my house with a group of really great women. I guess I shouldn't judge the simplicity of the website that suggested it-- it truly has served me in my efforts to find a new routine.
So I'm knitting and counting down the 2ww...
inna you've been on my mind- how are you? rainbow how is your countdown going?
post #290 of 596
I am okay. Dh is being very understanding about my tiredness. It's weird for him. Dd is sick, ds was last week, and dh called this morning to suggest I rush dd to the dr to start antibiotics quickly in an attempt to avoid getting sick myself. The last mc that he knows about started with my having pneumonia. Actually, we all got it, but I was diagnosed the same day I got my BFP confirmed. So he is concerned.
It's weird. We continue not to discuss it and I know it isn't something he "wants", but there he is saying things like that.
My current TWW ends a week from today, fortunately first thing in the morning. I am looking forward to it anxiously and nervously. 6 more days...
post #291 of 596
Well I just took a frer, had not used bathroom for 3+ hrs and thought, what the heck... Big fat ugly Snow White BFN. greensad.gif
I can't say I'm surprised, but I am sad. I know that there may still be a chance for me but I don't know if husband and I will ever really get "there", really trying... Maybe supplements, etc... We have had our struggles times 2, I don't know that we will feel really stable enough to give ttc a serious try,( until maybe it will be too late) other than leaving it to chance. And it does not look like a very good chance. I long for another, love my ds with all that I am, I want him to have a sibling, even if there is a big gap, they will always have each other and our family would grow. How I wish it was different, our marriage strong and stable, no thoughts of being without dh, but tired of riding the coaster of issues, I think are conquered but then another.
I know it's possible for it to get better, stronger, safe... I'm just tired and afraid. I don't want the time to slip away. When all is good, our life together is just wonderful( we truly love one another), but when issues arise... I'm struggling to hold on by the tip of a finger. I never imagined it would be this way. He is younger 33( has fought ugly demons & ive supported him, the best that i coulld/can, i just long for the past to stay there, and for us to grow stronger together, the coaster just keeps throwing in too many twists, and i wonder when/ if it will stop, or at least find a bit of secure peace, I'm 40, feel/ look/ act younger, my body seems to be working and could grow a new life, I just want to know if I will have a chance, let our road straighten our life together strong and stable. I need for our home to be strong, the longer I keep bumping around, I can't help but feel worn down, sad, even lonely... I know we could have this strength and happiness, a future on stable ground. Sometimes I just feel like I'm the glue that keeps it together, and it's so much to carry sometimes, I need him to be the there when I'm feeling overwhelmed, and he has been at times, just not that solid ground I need sometimes... Oh, I don't know what I'm trying to say, I'm just feeling so? I need our family to be safe, strong for each other. Too much to carry on my side so offer. I'm sorry , I know I'm off on a tangent about the strength of our marriage, I feel like it's just holding us back from helping our family grow and be happy. I was so excited at the possibility of having another. And now that it's gone( hopefully just for now),I keep thinking of our loss, will be 2 years on the 18th. Just the possibility of seeing two lines gave me some hope, make our loss, hurt less. I know he does not really get "it", the disapointment of the - test. But it felt like all would be well. I had put the hopes of another DC out of my mind, but this nasty pink... Nothing. Hurts more than I imagined. I'm so crushed that this wasn't it, and feeling like I've lost when I never really had. My head is just spinning, I don't know which way to go. My family needs me to keep our home together, make things right(fix the problems caused by past issues, I allowed to happen). Now I just don't feel like I can move. I want to make this holiday festive and happy, our home put back together from past storms, it is heavy on my shoulders. I feel like I need to shake it off, give myself a pep talk and just do what my family needs. Sometimes I just want him to be strong for me. I know I'm strong, and can do this, but want dh and I to be stronger together. Sorry, I know I'm rambling, just writing as I feel, thank you for listening, reading, caring, just needed to get it out....I pray our journey will continue, and ill get to know everyone in the following months.

I'm so happy for all who have a new life growing and hopeful for those in this difficult journey. I know there will be sadness but more hope and happiness... There are new little ones waiting for us, so I know in my heart that there will be less grief and more CELEBRATIONS!!!!!
post #292 of 596
I'm so sorry for your struggle. My marriage isn't so great either, you are not alone. These past three losses in one year, dh would never be able to understand. He doesn't even know about the last one.
And now, when I should be thrilled to be pregnant again, we simply don't mention it. Ever. As if it doesn't exist. Rarely we talk around it, like when dh became concerned that I might get whatever illness is going around the kids. And while I hang on to hope, I tell myself everyday that whatever happens was meant to happen and that I will be okay either way.
I'm so sorry for your aching heart. That snow white window can be incredibly depressing. Especially after wasting the extra $$ on a FRER!
I always say, as my mom taught me, fake it til you make it. So I will plaster on a smile and get through Christmas. I hope you find a way to do the same. :hugs:
post #293 of 596
Thank you, I needed to hear that. I've been telling myself to make this Xmas awesome for ds, Jaden. He deserves it, as dies my mom, we live together,she is wonderful but having health issues of her own, severe pain, just not happy that she cannot do what she want a to do because she hurts : ( So I'm going to kick myself in the rear and make this holiday great! I'm trying to surround myself with positive friends and focusing on being happy, no matter what. I read once that even if your marriage isn't great and you would like your dh to treat you with more love/care, than act by example, and maybe it will "rub off" on him. Hope that makes sense.

This should be a wonderful happy time for you, I truly hope that your dh will warm up to the thoughts of your growing babe and share the joy with you. It know it hurts not being in a great place, but I'm trying to remember the advice of friends, it is similar to yours, surround yourself with what makes you happy and dh may join in, if not... At least your doing what you enjoy. It's hard, but I try to remember that I cannot control anything except my own actions, and to heck with the negativity. Easier said than done, but I'm going to try... I wish u were close by, I'm sure all the moving makes it tough to be connected with others, I would love to join you for a cup of something hot and a chat. Big hugs to you, let's keep trying to paint on the smile. : )
post #294 of 596
I am not really doing anything I enjoy right now. Lol! I love my kids and my house and I enjoy my life, but it is hard being in a new place and having no support. Technically I am pregnant, but honestly I can't focus on it. I don't know how to explain this. It is definitely all I think about, but I'm just waiting to see how long it will last. Nowhere in my head is there an actual thought of a real live baby at the end of this. If there were I think I'd be freaking out. It's just a state of flux- not being not pregnant and not knowing if I really still am pregnant. In the meantime things are falling behind as I sit around wondering what will happen next.
This morning my abdomen is really sore. Is this just normal stuff or the beginning of the end? Every time my underwear feels wet I wonder if it's my bladder leaking or blood. Every twinge makes me wonder.
I am looking forward to my US next week, but it will be at 6w4d, both of my longer mc pregnancies ended closer to 7.5w/8w, so I'm not sure that early scan will bring much comfort. In retrospect the second mc had wonky betas to begin with, and at 7w we saw the way too slow hb, so we knew the end was coming. But the first mc, I saw the hb at 7w on the dot. And it died a few days later, only to be discovered at 11w.
Loathing the roller coaster a mc puts us on.
Plus I'm feeling guilty because if this is going to be an actual baby, he or she deserves my love right now, this second, while he or she begins the journey into this world. It isn't his or her fault I've had a bad year.
Okay, rant over.
Hang in there, it'll all work out. Fx for next month!
post #295 of 596

Wow! There's been so much activity since I was last here. I caught a horrible cold and I was out of commission until today. I blame the seriousness of the cold on my pregnancy/weakened immune system. I was very scared that I would miscarry from being sick, but the ultrasound last Friday said otherwise. We're still holding our breath, but all looked good during the ultrasound. We were given a due date of early August. The reality is still sinking in and we sure hope everything goes well. I hope everyone here can experience the good fortune we've had. Keeping our fingers crossed for the next several weeks... Hugs to you all!

post #296 of 596
That's wonderful news gelato!!! Congratulations.
post #297 of 596
Congratulations gelato : )

Caritasrainbow and others, sorry half asleep, thank you for the encouragement and I think ill start with some good vitamins, prenatals at least, they usually make me sick and I can't hold them down, but ill give it a try a make my body as healthy as possible so it's in shape to catch that egg and hold it tight. I am praying for lots of happy and healthy growing mamas and beans!
post #298 of 596

Thank you both!!

 

ayme371: Sending positive thoughts your way... I hope your holidays are happy and that your issues get resolved. Toast to the future! And, for what it's worth, my prenatal vitamins make me feel sick as well. I'm sure you know to take them with food right? It certainly helps me. I have a friend who was able to get prescription prenatal vitamins and I know those were easier on her stomach. Good luck to you!

post #299 of 596

@ayme371 you may want to look into things like optimal bodyfat % and bmi. Eliminate processed foods and chemicals (artificial sweeteners, preservatives...) from your diet. Invest in some superfoods-- maca is good for your eggs, bee pollen, propolis and royal jelly are great as well. Wheat grass, spirulina and kelp are all part of a great diet. The more foods you can eat in their natural state, the better: raw fruits and veggies, raw nuts (not roasted) and seeds....lots of water and eliminate caffeine and alcohol. An egg has a 90 cycle so spend the next 3 cycles doing some clean up in your body :) I conceive very easily, and I'm sure it's because of the level of health I enjoy, but a 43 year old egg is a 43 year old egg, so far I just haven't caught the right one....but I will say that my doctor agrees that even though I've lost a few, I recover extremely quickly and my miscarriages have been without complication and I've ovulated 13 days after every one of them, so my fertility isn't the issue, it's just a coin toss when it comes to catching the right egg at this age. But you can do alot to ensure that your body is ready for a pregnancy and healthy enough to get you through a miscarriage and heal quickly if it does happen. Exercise and diet and mental peace are so important. We do yoga together and we take long walks (we were both runners and used to do alot of excessive running together :)) We try to avoid violent television and keep things as peaceful as possible... we've had the same rummy game going since late summer-- taking time every day to play a couple hands of cards is more relaxing than you'd imagine. Finding peace and trying to enjoy the process with the faith that at the end of it there WILL can make a huge difference. And make sure to have lots of sex when it ISN'T necessary so it doesn't become mechanical and stressful :) Good luck!

post #300 of 596
I take the prenatal program from GNC and it does not make me sick. I took just the prenatals from them before and so Maca root and omega 3, 6, 9. I don't think those affect eggs, just help with fertility. I now just take the prenatal program. It includes everything, you can google it. They had the highest amount of folic acid I could find.
I am obsessing over heartrate charts and looking forward to my ultrasound Monday.
FWIW- I am a healthy, young looking 42yo but I eat whatever I want to while ttc. Once pg I try to steer clear of Dr Pepper (occasionally I cave) and I don't drink alcohol or smoke of course. All the other stuff too, no lunch meat, soft cheeses, etc.
But while ttc I just enjoy. I eat fairly healthy, but I don't obsess. I mean, I live fresh fruit and vegetables, but admit to an occasional fast food burger and fries or a Little Debbie. I am not overweight and I don't really excer use persay. Just chase all these kids around. Lol! I also think it's just a matter of egg age.
I have read great things about that one vitamin with all the letters and numbers? C U something? Sorry!!
I've gotten pregnant every month I've bd'd during o time, just didn't stay pregnant. Hopefully my luck has turned around and this is it for me. Fx for you in your journey.
Monday seems eons away...
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