To do lists (preparing for baby) - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[nstewart]

I've seen a few mamas post the idea of "visitor schedule".  Can you talk about what this includes a bit more?

After DS was born my parents and sister were at the hospital more than I really wanted, and then DHs parents showed up at the hospital at like 9 or 10pm when I really should have been sleeping (they drove 6 hours to meet the baby, and were leaving on a vacation the next day so stayed for an hour then turned around and drove home).  

I really, really want to protect a bit of that time the first day or two this time as I found it exhausting last time.  I need to get DH on board to be my "protector" which is tough because he's so darn polite he can't say "no", but maybe a schedule would help?  What does this look like for you all?

[kimble]

Originally Posted by nstewart 

I've seen a few mamas post the idea of "visitor schedule".  Can you talk about what this includes a bit more?

...

 What does this look like for you all?

We're still in the stage of talking about it, but basically since my family all lives far away and we don't want to be inundated with all of them (well, just my mom, dad, aunt, and hopefully brother) visiting at once. My mom is also disabled and needs a lot of help and it would be tough to by trying to learn how to care for a newborn AND take care of her when she is in an unfamiliar place. On top of that, DH's family only lives a couple hours away and we want to manage baby time to some extent. I know DH's family will see a lot more of him or her, but we don't want them around constantly when my family hasn't even had a chance to meet the babe yet.

We're planning to block off certain times as windows for my family to visit to minimize the stress. I expect to see DH's family in the hospital but would prefer we have at least 12 hours to sleep and get to know babe first, and would limit them to an hour or two. My family would be welcome to come starting 2 weeks after the EDD. Any earlier and I feel they would interfere with our bonding process and forming routines, and they might not even get to meet the babe if it takes its sweet time to show up.

I think just working out a plan and presenting it to family members by saying "we'd love it if you want to visit, but we need some time to get to know our baby. We don't want to be overwhelmed with all of you coming at once, and it wouldn't be fair to you to come all this way and stumble into a totally new situation for us" will go a long way.

[GabiCristian]

I hadn't even thought about how stressful having visitors might be because we'll be the ones traveling to see family after the baby's born, but it's definitely something to think about for future babes (hopefully we'll be closer to family by then). 

Here's my list. Because we'll be traveling to see family a month (or so) after baby's born and having a baby shower at that point there's a few things that I'm not going to worry about yet (eg, clothes). I'm putting most things off until March.

February:

- Find somewhere that sells jersey knit fabric so I can make a wrap (I've been to one of the two stores I know of in town, and they don't sell it)

- Start hitting up second-hand stores for flannel sheets to make into wipes (the shops here aren't thrift stores--they order second-hand stuff from other countries--and most of them only sell clothes)

- Research a good-quality but not-too-expensive hand pump for just in case

March:

- order diapers (flats, covers, snappi)

- order/buy hand pump and a couple of bottles for JIC/occasional date nights

- start walking every day (I have no excuse for not starting now, except that it's still cold and by March we should have spring-ish weather)

- buy raspberry leaf tea and start drinking it (I'm planning on 1x/day in March, 2x/day in April, and 3x/day in May)

- make wipes/wrap (hemming wipes is going to take me forever because I'll be doing it all by hand)

April:

- figure out where baby's going to sleep (I would be fine with co-sleeping, but our bed's only a double and DH would be more comfortable with a side-car arrangement, except my side of the bed is pushed up against the wall because I like to sleep up against the wall, so if we do a sidecar I'll have to adjust to sleeping on the wrong side, haha).

- talk to MIL about diaper pail location (I would like to put it next to the washer, but I don't know if she's going to like that since it's in the hallway)

- set up a consultation at the hospital so they know we're coming and ask them my questions (and figure our how obstinate I'm going to have to be to get my way, haha)

May:

- pack hospital bag

- transfer money from savings to checking to cover hospital fee (or maybe take out cash? I'm not for sure that they'll take my American debit card--I've only ever used it at ATMs so far)

- relax and not worry about stuff

After baby comes (May/June)

- get Romanian birth certificate

- apply for American Record of Foreign Birth

- apply for baby's passport

- figure out exact travel dates

- buy plane tickets

Things I'm glad I don't have to worry about:

- talk to DH about circumcision (he's European, and thinks that the American custom of routine circumcision is peculiar and barbaric, haha)

- get a car seat (no car while we're in Romania)

- figure out what to do with an older child while I'm in the hospital (I know I'll be doing this with the next one--and all the rest after that--but for now I'm happy not to be in that season)

[Quinalla]

Since my family all lives 3+ hours away, scheduling is a given anyway and we don't usually get hospital visitors, but it does make sense to schedule folks. Maybe ask that they do a quick visit to the hospital and give them an hour window (maybe a little longer if needed) and to save their long visits for when you are home? Sell it as less time in the germy hospital and more time in your home and if they are the practical sort then say you will need more help when you are home so would love for them to save their time for that. We're very blunt in my family, so I'd just tell them I don't want long visits in the hospital, but long visits are welcome once we're home if the visitors are willing to pitch in and help.

[adventuregirl]

I am also in fear of the big all-encompassing to-do list, but I ought to start getting comfy with it! I'm not going to post my list just yet, since I don't have the time to put it together, but will break the ice with this post.

Gabi - I like the way you have it nicely parsed out into months, that makes it seem a bit easier to handle. :)

All of our family lives far away (think 1500+ miles), so visits definitely need scheduling. ILs have been really awesome and respectful, just asking when a good time would be and assuming I'd want my mom to come first (which I do). My mom is also just waiting for me to say when, which I also appreciate. My ILs are coming in April, so we'll see them beforehand and then they will prob come back in July/Aug, and that works for me. I think I'm going to tell my mom to plan something for the later half of June. By then DH will be back at work and if I end up going late, the babe will be here for sure.

[Miss Ess]

Originally Posted by CoBabyMaker 

My Dad actually slept in a dresser drawer (I think/hope they removed it from the dresser first). He's a little weird but I don't think you could attribute it to the dresser drawer. ;)

Haha, mine too! I think we get really stressed about preparing for babies, but really, they don't need much.

[timesway]

i think i slept in a drawer on my first night.. im trying so hard to write my list but struggling a little.. i just cant believe the time scale we have ahead of us.. its getting so close but somehow feels so far away!!

[PhilsBabyMama]

Originally Posted by Miss Ess 

Haha, mine too! I think we get really stressed about preparing for babies, but really, they don't need much.

Our littles just sleep in bed with us.

[nstewart]

I edited my list to cross off the pile of stuff that DH and I accomplished this week.  The playroom is pretty well done!  DH got all the shelving up today, and I moved all the toys and books downstairs.  We still need to organize the toys properly, but they're on the shelves.  Today I also organized DSs dresser and closet, so that they're ready for baby stuff to go in.  Last night we looked for a bed for DS at Ikea, but weren't happy with the options there, so we found and ordered a bed online.  YAY!  That's a pile of stuff off our list and a big weight off my mind. 

Steph, I agree.  It's a tough timeline.  Like so much to do, but only so much you can do this far in advance.  And Miss Ess, you are right too, I know from DS we really didn't need that much (diapers, boobs, blankets, bed, and a few sleepers) but it'll feel good to have all this organizing done before babe arrives!

How is everyone else doing?

[CoBabyMaker]

Wow NS!  That's great that you crossed so much off your list! 

I just looked at my list again and have officially accomplished nothing!  Yep! OK, I looked at tile and picked out what I want.  Now I think I need to pick different (cheaper) tile.  Story of my life.  Champagne taste, beer budget.  Ha!  But marble is sooo pretty.    I did get paint chips for baby's room though so at least a color is picked.  Well, it's progress toward things I suppose.  Perhaps next weekend we can get a few things done.

I'm putting off posting my diapers for sale because all the terms and shipping things overwhelm me.  I need to suck it up and do it!

[alaskanmomma]

The only thing I need to get left for baby is the birth supplies! I'm set for the itsy bitsy stage, might have to get more clothes if she's bigger(or way littler) than expected, but other than that we're set!

[adventuregirl]

OK, here goes:

Finish list of things to get for baby - done.

Get dresser, glider/recliner, breast pads, nipple cream, diaper balm and video camera. Start now.

Call insurance company and figure our breast pump coverage, then get one. Done.

Decide on a stroller & update wishlist, OR go to secondhand store and get one. Now.

Get birth tub plan together (rent/borrow/buy? when/where/how?). Now.

Get dh watching birth videos. Now.

Make list of "labor advice" for myself - ideas for comfort measures, reminders to eat/drink, things to distract. Now & ongoing.

Knit special baby blanket. Started

Knit diaper covers. Start now.

Pay midwife for birth & birth kit - in March.

Research and find a doc who will write a script for a breast pump and get one. At next mw appt - March.

Talk to neighbors about being there for DD while I am in labor. April.

Finalize birth plan for mw. April.

Order birth pool and accessories. April

Get everything on wishlist that wasn't gifted to us. April.

Get all work projects organized and handed over for coverage while I am on leave. Started - finish in April.

Wash all baby clothes, sheets, blankets, diapers, etc. April - May.

Make meals to put into freezer for after the birth. April-May.

Stock up on food, snacks, freezer items to be ready for birth. May.

Well, that wasn't so bad. Now I have it laid out, I'll just have to tackle them one by one. Did one yesterday!

Edited by adventuregirl - 2/20/13 at 7:03am

[jessmn]

wow you all are making me super anxious. Is there a generic list out there, not specific to what you might already have done or already own? As a first time mom with zero baby experience, I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed and clueless, although your lists have helped immensely!

finalize registry
download and start practicing hypnobabies asap
clean car
install car seats
baby crib
baby shower Feb 24

buy anything not gifted
baby shower thank yous

baby shower hostess gifts

hospital bag
birth plan

put doula's number in our phones
birth announcements ready for pictures
frozen meals
buy chest freezer? (we have a smallish fridge/freezer)
call insurance about pump
call diaper service and arrange first deliveries
maternity photos
coming home outfits
bottles
find and charge camera
wash all baby clothes, blankets, etc

finish addition and get washer/dryer installed

build stairs to backyard to easily access and let dog out

who is visiting when/how long

What do you need for breastfeeding? Pumping? Changing diapers? Daily life with babies? Do you get bored or are you constantly busy (do I need to stock up on books and movies?)
 

[Kate&Joey]

Figured this was as good a place as any for a PSA:

Babies R Us is having a "trade in" sale.  Bring in any used car seat, stroller, etc. and you get 25% off a new one.  A friend had returned a car seat to me that was definitely expired, so it was just sitting in our spare room.  I hadn't gotten around to cutting out the straps and getting rid of it, so that was a nice surprise to make some $$$ off of it! 

Unfortunately, the girl cat was probably quite unhappy to lose one of her napping spots.  The BRU people didn't seem to mind the 2.7 pounds of cat hair in the seat. 

So I crossed one thing off my "to do" list: buy car seat.

[jessmn]

Originally Posted by Kate&Joey 

Figured this was as good a place as any for a PSA:

Babies R Us is having a "trade in" sale.  Bring in any used car seat, stroller, etc. and you get 25% off a new one.  A friend had returned a car seat to me that was definitely expired, so it was just sitting in our spare room.  I hadn't gotten around to cutting out the straps and getting rid of it, so that was a nice surprise to make some $$$ off of it! 

Unfortunately, the girl cat was probably quite unhappy to lose one of her napping spots.  The BRU people didn't seem to mind the 2.7 pounds of cat hair in the seat. 

So I crossed one thing off my "to do" list: buy car seat.

We (well, my parents) totally took advantage of this, too. My coworker had given me two car seats, and my parents took them in for $45 each car seat that we registered for! It was a huge savings. I'm now trying to collect unwanted stuff from my coworkers that I can trade in!

[timesway]

Originally Posted by jessmn 

wow you all are making me super anxious. Is there a generic list out there, not specific to what you might already have done or already own? As a first time mom with zero baby experience, I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed and clueless, although your lists have helped immensely!

finalize registry

download and start practicing hypnobabies asap

clean car

install car seats

baby crib

baby shower Feb 24
buy anything not gifted

baby shower thank yous
baby shower hostess gifts
hospital bag

birth plan
put doula's number in our phones

birth announcements ready for pictures

frozen meals

buy chest freezer? (we have a smallish fridge/freezer)

call insurance about pump

call diaper service and arrange first deliveries

maternity photos

coming home outfits

bottles

find and charge camera

wash all baby clothes, blankets, etc
finish addition and get washer/dryer installed
build stairs to backyard to easily access and let dog out
who is visiting when/how long

What do you need for breastfeeding? Pumping? Changing diapers? Daily life with babies? Do you get bored or are you constantly busy (do I need to stock up on books and movies?)

 

I'm glad I'm not the only confused one// it's so hard knowing what to plan For when its your first!!

[Quinalla]

Originally Posted by jessmn 

What do you need for breastfeeding? Pumping? Changing diapers? Daily life with babies? Do you get bored or are you constantly busy (do I need to stock up on books and movies?)

For breastfeeding, you might want a BFing pillow or you might not. I didn't like the boppy for BFing, but I did find it useful for sticking DD in at times on the floor. I did like having 1-2 flat pillows to prop her and my arms up for BFing, I had some by the recliner in her room and by the couch downstairs. I did get the My Brest Friend Twins pillow this time as I've heard a lot of good feedback from twin moms about it and I think it will help for tandem feedings.

For pumping, you will want some breastmilk storage bags for building your freezer stash (I like the lasinoh ones), a pen/marker to write on them, bottles to attach to your pump if it doesn't come with them, extra small parts in case something gets lost or tears or wears out (tubing, membranes, etc.), your pump and somewhere comfy with a TV with an outlet to pump (I assume here you are getting a double electric). You'll want to hopefully read your pump instructions and get it put together before giving birth. They are pretty simple, but figuring things out sleep deprived takes 5 times as long.

For changing diapers, I really like having a changing table. I'm tall and I don't like bending over to change every diaper, so you may want to consider that. Some just put a changing pad on a dresser, but I really did like having a changing table to store diapers and whatnot. Otherwise, it is nice to have a changing station on every floor, so just a basket/bin/whatever with diapers, wipes, washable changing pad(s) - multiple are good for when one gets dirty (I like to use a thin changing pad with a waterproof side with a cloth diaper on top then the cloth diaper gets soiled and is easily washed), diaper cream, maybe a change of clothes or two and trash can (or storage can for cloth diapers).

For daily life with babies, you are busy and bored both IME. I would stock up on books & movies, Netflix is great BTW, as I found myself watching a lot of stuff while nursing and holding my DD who wanted to be held 24/7. I read some too, but that was harder in the beginning stages as you need your hands for BFing more. My DD also slept on my lap a lot as she would wake at the slightest movement at times, so again, books or movies were good. For us with twins, I am anticipating being even more busy, but I've still got my Netflix and movies ready to go! I know you are supposed to be staring lovingly into your baby's eyes while nursing, but my DD nursed constantly and during the day I had to have something to stimulate the brain, I saved the cuddly nursing sessions for night time (we had plenty!) You won't need toys or baby books right away, but it was nice to have a few from the start as they grow up pretty quickly and you can start reading to them (even if it just gives you something to do, it's still good for them to hear language) and playing with them a bit pretty soon. I really like the Sassy line of toys that are either black/white or bold primary colors for babies, my DD and all of my nephews have loved those toys.

And as for a chest freezer, if you have room I would get one. They are great for storing BM and freezing meals and whatnot ahead of time. I wish we had room for one but we really don't. Next house!

[bobcat]

I am at 24 weeks (so I think that's 5.5 months?)....and this will be my first baby. I have questions about bras!!!

I've been "making do" with my old bras up until now, when I decided I need to buy something that will actually hold my now-heavier breasts UP, because my old bras that are bigger are too weak in the straps.

So I decided to save money and be a minimalist, and buy a nursing bra for now instead of a regular bra, thinking my boobs would deflate once I'm done breastfeeding, so whatever regular bra I buy now wouldn't fit later and I only have like 3.5 months to go (I am cheap, trust me). But then I got to wondering....will a nursing bra that fits at 5.5 months, still fit when I'm 8-9 months preg? And will it still fit when I'm breastfeeding, because I hear my breasts will get even bigger after the birth? So I guess my question is, when should I pick out my nursing bras? 

I am also wondering if you guys have advice about breastfeeding-friendly tops? My perception is that you just want something where you can "pop the breast out." So I was thinking some looser tank tops from Target, intended for regular wear, are fine for the days I'm at home mostly. I could just pull the sleeve down off my shoulder a little. And then I'll buy maybe like 2-3 tops with actual sleeves that look nice, for when I am out and about? Are there any flaws in that plan? :)

[bobcat]

Also, I wasn't planning on doing birth announcements, and this is my first! Does that seem disrespectful to my family members that I wouldn't really be calling or sending pictures to? I just really don't wanna be bothered with it....I guess I seem grumpy, but I'm so tired, just want to focus on things that impact myself and the baby directly.

[CoBabyMaker]

Bobcat, In regards to nursing bras i think you may find many different opinions.  I tend to buy regular bras when I am pregnant because I mostly use nursing tanks when I am nursing.  I tend to look at places like Marshall's for inexpensive bras while I am pregnant so that replacing them isn't a huge issue.  I'm not really large breasted though so that may not work if you are well endowed.  While I am probably a D or maybe a DD with initial engorgement I settle into a B cup a few months in.  I guess that's part of why I like nursing tanks, they are pretty flexible on size.

As far as nursing tops go I tend to live in nursing tanks because I'm extremely ticklish and can't handle little fingers touching my sides.  They are fine in the summer when it's just me and the kids around the house in the warm months.  If I am going somewhere I just wear a shirt I can pull up over it.  I prefer to pull my shirt up instead of down as it tends to expose me less and doesn't stretch out necklines.  As far as shirts go, I just choose t-shirts or shirts that are loose enough to pull up.  For instance, something like this would be fine: http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=72298&vid=1&pid=374032002

Pretty much as long as it's not fitted under the bust.

I have never sent out birth announcements.  I didn't have the time, energy or money.  I don't feel bad about it at all.  My only issue is that i was actually considering it this time and I'm wondering if that weird since I didn't for the first two. ;)