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Ever have weeks when it all falls apart?

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

I really just need to vent here and get some advice!  DD (12 months) has always been a crappy sleeper, but the past week has been total hell...  Instead of waking up every couple of hours to nurse quietly (which is disruptive enough), she's waking up loudly crying and taking forever to go back to sleep.  She's tossing, turning, rolling, crawling, sometimes playing/babbling, sometimes an hour or more.  She's cutting multiple teeth at once.  She's taking a few steps and about to take off walking.  Timing-wise, she's probably in a Wonder Week.  She's terribly constipated and I think she has a small hemorrhoid.  We're trying to change her diet to help her poo, so now she's painfully gassy, wakes up screeching.  Oh, and she fell in the tub and badly whacked her right cheekbone the other night, and since then she doesn't like to sleep on that side.  Guess which side the sidecar crib is on?

 

I'm thinking all we need is a nice dose of whooping cough or something to really get this party started.

 

All this makes perfect - if crappy - sense, but I feel like DH and I are on the verge of divorce out of sheer exhaustion.  He's begun a campaign to get her in her own bedroom (as if that would solve ANYTHING on the above list).  Today, when he - again - mentioned moving her out, I told him that as long as she wasn't left to cry alone, he was welcome to devise - AND IMPLEMENT - any plan he wanted to.  And as long as I'm doing 100% of the nighttime parenting, and as long as I continue not to get a break, I will do whatever gets me - and baby - the most sleep.

 

Things are really peachy right now at our house.  Has this happened to anyone else?  ARE there any solutions or tips?  DH keeps saying, "We must be doing something wrong!" and I can't imagine what else to do except suck it up and survive.  How can you "sleep train" a baby going through so much?  I wouldn't even want to try.  But it sure does feel like we're failing.

post #2 of 8

Don't feel bad about your parenting. I am sure that everyone of us has phases like this. Especially with your poor DD going through all of this at once. Teething can be so painful. I give my DDs Chamomilla globuli when they are having teething problems. Also solves the problems about being squirmy and constipated, which is probably all related to the teething/ growing. And on the verge of walking there is a whole new world out there that needs to be discovered. What helped me at that stage was to schedule some extra 30 minutes of playtime in the bedroom to wind down and establish a routine for going to bed. Just be consistent in your doings and you will be fine.
 

post #3 of 8
It does sound like you've had a few problems hit at the same time. In addition, she could be having a growth spurt, plus there are some developmental stages that get hit right at that age, like walking, and when kids are working on developmental things their sleep can be severely disrupted. My husband has on and off slept in the guest room. At first I was horrified that he would, and I was worried it would mess things up, but I can see why he was cranky because it was hard for him to have such horrible sleep and then go to work the next day, when I could sleep when the baby napped if I needed to. When he was in the guest room and sleeping well, it helped our relationship because we weren't fighting and he was well rested. Would he be willing to sleep elsewhere until your dd gets through this rough spot? I can understand him not being able to handle the sleeplessness, but I can't see how moving her into another room would help. If she's sleeping that poorly, she'd just be screaming for you. If she's in pain with teething, pain reliever might help, but some of that stuff is probably related to her learning to walk. Their brains are going nuts during those times and they really have a hard time with sleep. Waking up and wanting to play is really typical with that.
post #4 of 8

Zirconia, I'm in the same boat, 12 month old DD is a terrible sleeper, well always has been, but especially in the last week.  DH wanted to sleep train but once I informed him that he would have to be the one to get up in the night as DD only wants my breasts from me at night, he has realized that she does still need to nurse at night.  When DD wakes to play in the middle of the night, I usually stay quiet and "play dead", and DH usually doesn't wake at all, and she just babbles, climbs on us, goofs around on us but with no interaction from us until she either goes to sleep again or works herself up the point that I can nurse her back down to sleep.  Even now, as difficult as she's being at night time, I just keep reminding myself that this too shall pass.  These hard days arise, but are usually only a few days.  Seeing as you've posted this question 4 days ago, I bet your DD has calmed down a bit, has she? Please tell me yes, and give me a glimmer of hope!

post #5 of 8
Thread Starter 

Element 2012, I wish I could tell you it has passed!  It's a little better - DD no longer wakes up crying.  And she's back to sleeping about a 3-hour stretch at the beginning of the night.  But she's still waking up constantly after that.  It's so weird - it's like she CAN'T sleep.  She tosses and turns, nurses, wiggles, rolls to hands and knees, flops back down.  Her eyes are closed, she's not upset, she's just NOT SLEEPING.  Her tummy seems to be settling - we backed off on solids and went back to mostly plain steamed fruits and vegetables, with small amounts of whatever we're eating.  I'm kind of wishing she would start walking, in hopes I can run her out of steam.

 

But you're right, it will pass eventually, right?  Question is, will we survive!  :)  Some days, I don't feel like I will.  I'm starting to get forgetful, and I look and feel like an old woman.

post #6 of 8
Oh god that was a TOUGH time!!! And I had a fairly good sleeper! She would wake often, be cutting molars (those SOBs took FOREVER), cruise in her crib, nurse then play for 3 hours and that was the time she dropped her one remaining nap!!! Argh!!! It was absolute torture and I feel for you both, Zirconia and Element. We didn't cosleep in our bed since DH is an epileptic so rough nights meant me in the nursery on the recliner or - during the 2am parties - on the floor. Absolutely crucial was to get her to nap again which may not be an issue for you. Blackout drapes and a fan for white noise helped a lot. The first helped her fall asleep and the second helped her keep sleeping longer. The worst of the teething meant an occasional dose of tylenol at bedtime, when nothing else helped. I totally played dead too for when she was partying at night. I lay on the floor and she crawled, cruised, babbled, played... It wasn't great but at least I was horizontal. There was SO much going on developmentally, the walking, the start of talking, the fine motor skills... She just couldn't shut that lil brain off at night.
It will be better. I promise. It may take seemingly forever but it will improve. It was a rough few weeks but once it was done things were way better. Hang in there mamas!
post #7 of 8
Thread Starter 

Molars???  Good lord, my DD has just now cut her first two top teeth.  We are soooo in for it...  All I can do is pray that they'll all pop through at once!  Last night was better.  She woke up to nurse a few times, but I don't really remember how long or how many times, which nowadays is my definition of a good night!  She's walking a little more, taking 3-4 steps at a time without holding on, and toddling all over the place holding one hand.  And her poop issues are a little better thanks to about ten pounds of pears.  The bruised cheek has healed.  Maybe we're getting through the worst of it.  Or just getting a breather, who knows.

 

Best of all, night before last she had an early wakeup (about an hour after going to bed), and my husband was able to get her back to sleep!  During this rough patch, she's been screaming bloody murder for Mama every single time.  Progress!

post #8 of 8
Oh gosh, DD got her first tooth at 3.5 months and has been teething almost nonstop since. Now she's working on her two year molars and drooling like an infant again. Eventually we will all sleep again!
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